((So, this is basically a story inside of a story inside of a story. Idk, weird 1 am OC dump.
Also, this isn't really Canon, but it could be in a sort of Modern AU? Where all my characters coexist in one world XD
Please enjoy my 1am madness uwu))

"OH MY GOD, YOU'RE SO STUPID-" Nix smacked Cynric on the shoulder as the two were driving down the street. Behind them, police sirens blared violently as the officers gave chase.

"HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THERE WAS SUCH A THING AS A SPEED LIMIT?!?" The king wailed, slamming his foot onto the gas pedal and veering the car sharply. "IN MY COUNTRY, WE DON'T EVEN HAVE CARS!"

"WELL F*CKING SH*T!!" Nix clung desperately to the arm of his seat, steadying himself from Cynric's reckless driving.

"LANGUAGE!!" Cynric hollered, forcing the car to nearly topple with his next turn. The sirens and lights drew the attention of more police forces, which resulted in them joining the chase.

"I'M NOT GOING BACK TO THAT SH*TTY PRISON AND I'LL SAY WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT!!"

"YOU HEATHEN! THERE ARE INNOCENT EARS IN THIS CAR!! ALSO, PUT ON A DANG SEATBELT, WILL YOU??!"

"WHAT THE F- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WE'RE ALL SKELETONS??? WE DON'T HAVE EARS YOU DUMB-"

"Can you guys stop screaming?" A third voice whined, snagging both of their attention. Cynric and Nix risked a glance to the backseat, their gaze meeting a green lil potato sack. It rubbed its tired eyesockets and sat up straight, yawning. "Ya woke me up."

"What the hell, how did you get here???" Nix hissed, his eyesockets narrowing. Cynric turned back to the road, putting even more pressure on the gas.

Cracked shrugged his shoulders. "Mmm... Idk. Just came I guess."

Cynric suddenly slammed the breaks, nearly launching Nix out the front window in the process. The car came to a screeching halt as it skidded harshly, the stench of burnt rubber hitting all three passengers hard. With a final flinch, the car came to a complete stop.

Nix was somewhere be tween the seat and the dashboard, barely hanging from the provided hand grips. "CYNRIC WHAT-" He stopped yelling when he turned his head towards the police barricade. "... Sh*t."

Cynric quickly unbuckled himself and turned to his friend. "Don't worry, I have a plan, but it requires some wit and acting."

~

The police approached the vehicle cautiously, tapping on the driver's window for then to roll it down. When nothing happened, he called some backup and forced the door open.

To his surprise, no one was in the vehicle.

~~~

"And that was how I cunningly escaped the law last Tuesday!" Cynric smiled.

Darling gave him a flat-look. "And how did you exactly?"

"That weird green potato sack knows some impressive magic! We bargained a gas-station full of chips for him to bail us out."

"Mmhmm." Darling frowned. "No more gambling runs with Nix."

Cynric gasped. "What? Noooooooo, please don't do this to me!" A single imaginary tear dripped down his face of distraught.

"As your guard, I have to make sure you're safe." Darling shook his skull. "Besides, you both are extremely chaotic."

"Why don't you come with us? To help control the chaos?" The king offered, a hopeful gleam in his eye.

The guard thought the offer over for a minute before he just shrugged. "Alright then."

"Really?"

"Only this once."

~~~

"And that is the story how I got married." Cynric concluded proudly, settling an arm around Darling's waist.

Willow looked up from having his face in his hands throughout this whole retelling. "You all are insane."

Cynric laughed. "And I'm proud of it!"