My breath hinged on those last words. Boyfriend? Not something I ever pictured me having. And it wasn't just because I was weird or what have you. I had never really felt a strong attraction toward anyone. I mean, yeah, sure, I could look at some people and think they were pretty or handsome. I think I'd agreed that someone was sexy before, even, but without actually wanting to have sex with them. In a romantic sense anyway. I'd of course been curious about having sex; What it felt like and all. Hence learning to masturbate... There had only never been a pursuit of intimacy on my part. I couldn't recall ever feeling the desire for a strong emotional attachment and I had certainly not ever become wet or lustful looking at or knowing another person.

I remembered that I had been asked out once by a guy who was a sort of friend. I knew him anyway. We seemed to stay on and off with how much we actually talked to each other over the years even though we went to the same school. I was a couple years younger then and Mom had refused to let me go out. I can't remember what she said her reason was, but obviously it was a bit of control on her part. She had always bashed the idea of underage dating; the younger they were, the more unacceptable it was. She'd gone as far as put the kids themselves down instead of the parents that allowed it. Anyway, I never went on the date and was never asked out by another person. I guess it really didn't matter though. Like I said, I wasn't attracted to the guy, I only wanted to have the experience and try to have some fun.

However, standing here staring into this creature's eyes as he held a tight grip on my throat, fingers digging into it and making it hard to breathe... my loner self felt a new kind of longing. I wanted his presence. I didn't feel anxious when he was around- didn't want him to keep or distance and my mind wasn't scrambling to come up with a reason for either of us to leave. I wished for more time spent with him and yes, I even wanted to have sex with- No... I wanted him to fuck me.

Freddy had jumped out of the mirror and pinned me against the shelf just a few steps away where my dolls normally collected. Hand on my throat and a knee between my legs, he had slid his bladed hand beneath my shirt and was gently scraping the metal against my skin with a low purr. The touch of the blades against the previous wounds was an interesting sensation that had me wet. It burned to have them pricking at the torn flesh and at the same time, the metal was cold.

Only seconds, maybe a minute, had passed, but it seemed so much longer. And Freddy hadn't done anything more to me. He just stared and scraped his blades under my shirt, up and down my small chest. I found myself lost in his eyes...everything else was a fuzz like time had ended altogether and we were in some sort of suspended animation. I didn't speak or move. Did absolutely nothing because I couldn't. In my mind, though, I was l begging for his knives to tear into my skin...to see his crooked smile relishing in my pain as my blood covered him...his face coming close to the wounds and lapping the precious crimson from my body's crevices...

Suddenly, he was chuckling again and his hold on my throat tightened even more. I choked on the last breath I had been taking and gasped when I realized I couldn't take in anymore air... His grip was too strong. I was unable to fight back the instinct to move. Although, instead of fighting him...trying to push him off or make an attack of my own.. I simply grabbed the wall to my side with one hand and clasped my other around the edge of the shelf behind me. When I did, Freddy pushed his body even closer to mind, the force making me choke again. I could feel his stomach against mine...his knee digging so well into my crotch that he must have felt my moisture there.

I emitted a pitiful moan which caused his lips to part further and show his dirty teeth well. He gave another squeeze to my airway and my vision started fading in and out. Everything was blurry and my head was beginning to hurt. I could hear him chuckling, but the sight of him was lessening. It scared me. Not the lack of oxygen or the attack or even looming death...it was the idea that I'd close my eyes or lose my sight and he wouldn't be there anymore. My heart rate picked up as I began going numb. I could just barely feel his hand on me and the pressure of his body against mine was vanishing. However, just as I thought everything would become nothing and I'd lose his sweet sadism, all force left me.

My hands left my sides and grabbed hold of my chest and neck when my body fell down to the floor. My eyes were still blurry, yet the outline of a man standing above me was still there. I did my best to keep my head lifted, eyes aimed at him even though it was difficult at first. Slowly, my senses began returning as I remained on the ground heaving for air. My fingers, hands, toes, and feet were all tingly. My head felt like what people described a hangover to be and my chest was strained as if between vice grips. When Freddy's body gradually became normal again, I gazed up at him with what had to be a puppy dog face.

Grinning, he straightened his claws and placed them on top of my head, his groin directly in front of my face when he furled his blades, scratching my scalp and pulling my hair. I inhaled sharply and loudly. When I tried to look up at his face again, he tugged my hair to force my head straight and pushing my face into him... I could feel he was hard beneath his pants. I had never touched a man. Or a woman for that matter... I barely knew the what the appearance of nakedness was.

"What are you doing in here?!?"

My eyes shot open suddenly and I realized that my mother had barged in again and was standing in the doorway staring at me. Freddy was nowhere in sight and I was sitting on the floor, hands and knees, looking up at my mom. "I-uh-" I stammered, pushing myself from the ground onto my knees and then back onto my butt, resting back against the shelf. "I fell..." was my answer as I swallowed so hard I was sure the gulp was audible, "Just hit my back...sorry..."

Mom seemed worried...or maybe she was not amused. I honestly couldn't tell and my mind was on the awkwardness of this encounter though she couldn't possibly know what I had been doing. She stood there a moment as if confused. She wrung her hands a couple of times in front of her before dropping them back to her side. What the hell was she thinking about? Her expression was quizzical, making it hard to tell if that was agitation or sadness I saw in her eyes. Was she wanting to say something or wanting me to speak? Perhaps she was waiting me to apologize for my earlier indiscretion. Undecided on what to do, and obviously not wanting to be forced to say I was sorry when she was the one who lost her temper and hit me, I simply cleared my throat loudly to stall.

"Are you alright?" she finally asked with an odd inflection

I nodded, breathing in.

"Well it's a bit past one...Why don't the two of us go out and get something to eat? I think we both could use a treat," she said with that usual plastic smile of hers.

I returned the grin nervously while I made it to my feet. My mind still wasn't really on her, but on my new friend, Freddy. Friend? Hm...boyfriend? The one person I had ever truly connected to...was some kind of evil dream demon. Though honestly...he didn't seem so bad. Sometimes violence wasn't a bad thing and death was part of life, right? ...was I evil too?

"Francine," Mother growled, annoyed when I took too long to answer.

"I'm sorry...Mom... I kind of zoned out, I guess," I gave the same fake grin. "Dinner out sounds good."

"I know you must have a lot on your mind," she had cocked her head to the side, "We can talk about over dinner."

"Ok, thanks, Mom," I replied, incredibly ungrateful. I always dithered about whether these sorts of things were sincere concern or she was just curious about what I was thinking...doing...so that she could better maintain authority over me. It might have been different if she ever just said she was there for me or phrased it as if I had a choice in the matter, but instead, she always made it seem like an order rather than a friendly gesture.

"Well," the woman patted her legs and turned to go out the door. "Make sure you're clean and ready and we'll leave," she looked back for a second to add, "Definitely do something with your hair...looks like you've just gotten out of bed."

My hair? I blinked nervously at her words, but I didn't act until she was once more out of sight. I pushed the door further close again and looked in the mirror. I half-expected Freddy to be there and the other half was certain he wouldn't be as my mind was trying to cast doubt over me again...trying to use its 'evolved' logic. Assessing myself in the glass, I saw she was right. My hair was completely untamed and sloppy. Was this what people meant by sex hair?

I found myself laughing slightly at the thought, then, sighing, I put myself back in order. There weren't any marks on my throat although it felt sore both inside and out. I wondered if bruises might appear later. I found myself a new sweater of a dark red color. Another shade that would hide if my injuries decided to bleed again. With that thought, I lifted the cardigan and smiled fondly at the marks there...HIS marks...

That moment was the first time in my life that I had ever giggled like a love struck little girl and I suppose that's what I was now. An odd sort of love, but a love nonetheless. I didn't want to go... to remove myself from the environment most likely to bring Freddy back to me, but I knew I had to get ready. I must uphold appearances. It was something I always hated, yet now, somehow, I felt it would be easier to do so... Besides, I was feeling pretty hungry. I guess my body was craving more nutrients after all the...excitement.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:: Chapter originally written 10/21/2015
Chapter rewritten 10/29/2017