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Dating Jeon Jeongguk felt like some sort of dream.

Taehyung didn't know what to expect, for he dived right in without thinking and let himself get caught up in what was the wave known as Jeon Jeongguk. It was easy, to get lost in him, really.

Especially because of his doe eyes that twinkled, and those two front bunny teeth that accompany his boyish grin whenever he tried to beg him for something.

Jeon Jeongguk was something else.

The last two weeks seemed to be some sort of honeymoon. Perfect, absolutely idyllic-- the whole situation seemed fresh out of some cliche romance novel where the two leads had finally come together.

It was probably the fact that Jeongguk was somehow (surprisingly) romantic, and in the dwindling time they had together before his intense volleyball schedule pulled them apart, the younger swept him away on all sorts of dates.

Along with their usual routine of walking to their classes together, spending lunches at Sunshine Sips (but this time they exchanged lazy kisses in their little yellow vinyl booth and held hands like all the other disgusting newly-made couples), and doing homework in their dorm before parting ways, Jeongguk took him out.

Every other night was date night with some sort of creative theme. It was Jeongguk's thing, to do things they've never done, so when people did ask if they had done them, they would reply with a happy moment.

He was still a disgusting sap— that was for sure.

"You're already taking my dick out for a ride, so y'might as well get familiar with my head, yeah?" Jeongguk had told him the first night of them officially being boyfriends.

"Don't say it like that," Taehyung replied, rolling his eyes. Jeongguk merely chuckled before pulling him close and wrapping his arm around his waist.

"Then how else should I say it?" He whispered against his ear, his breath against his earlobe tickling the sensitive skin.

"Shut up, dumdum," Taehyung mumbled, pushing him playfully, painfully aware of the smirk the younger wore that seemed to tease him blatantly.

"You love me."

"I don't know about that," He shot back, brows slightly bunched together. Jeongguk scoffed, but he didn't seem to be offended.

"We'll see, baby," On his lips were the same giddy, stupid grin, and so were the endless of stars that filled his irises like an endless fucking galaxy of never ending possiblities and emotions words could never do justice.

Those were the stars he found himself in love with.

They were walking outside together to their date, hands loosely intertwined, and simply lost in the way they smiled at one another beneath the blanket of fogged stars. The world seemed like their own, and nothing else could possibly penetrate this little, perfect bubble they created.

They were so sweet it was awful. One look at the younger's giddy grin gave him a tooth ache all on its own. The way Jeongguk's nose scrunched up when he smiled lit up the entire room, and every laugh that rippled through his chest like a bewitching melody, could never compare to anything as sweet as that.

Jeongguk's happiness was addictive, and Taehyung found himself seeking it, wanting to be the one to cause him this sort of permanent state of euphoria to fulfill his own happiness. Sure, it made their friends want to vomit around their existence, but this was it.

Nothing, or well, that was what Taehyung believed, could ruin this.

That night, Jeongguk brought him to a computer cafe, where they played video games and tried to beat one another in PubG. Taehyung bragged on about how amazing he was at the game, but he eventually ended up getting jumped by a group of people, and Jeongguk, while laughing and sputtering for air, had to go and save him.

Eventually, the younger proposed the idea of duos, and together they practically destroyed everyone else. Well, it was mostly Jeongguk— Taehyung preferred driving the get-a-way cars rather than shooting people.

There he learned that not only was Jeongguk competitive at sports but at games, too. Extremely competitive.

The boy stared at the screen, completely forgetting that Taehyung was there by his side as his fingers worked wonders on the keyboard, clacking against the keys while he aggressively clicked his mouse.

He always cursed when he died, and when he killed someone, he would fist-pump the air close to his chest before glancing over at his boyfriend and giving him a ridiculous wink. Taehyung tried not to look amused, but it was impossible when Jeongguk was giving him more reasons to fall.

To fall so inexplicably hard for Jeongguk seemed like a challenge to avoid lately.

After that, it was park dates and picnics while they read each other's favorite books out loud (Taehyung was the literature nerd), nature walks, dates to coffee shops at "ass-o'clock" according to the younger, and an endless abundance of kisses and hugs.

Oh, and besides the cute dates there was sex. A lot of it.

Every other day would they find themselves spent on one another. Whether Taehyung be on the top, or the receiving end, it didn't matter as long as he was Jeongguk. Something as intimate as watching your partner unravel beneath you just for you in this vulnerable state of mind didn't matter.

Positions shouldn't matter if you care for someone this deeply.

Besides that, they had sex on practically anything it was embarassing: the counters, the couch, the floor, the big mirror in Jeongguk's room, or in each other's single beds. Didn't mean much as long as they were touching, bodies melding into one, and minds lost in this temporary bliss.

It humored him that the younger preferred it rough and hard to the point he was crying, but he guessed he shouldn't be judging since Taehyung appreciated the filth that left Jeongguk's lips while he fucked him in various positions, worshipping his body in its entirety.

Everything felt right, like their worlds were finally stable, and while they were caught up in the whirl wind of being a new couple, he supposed they forgot to talk about some things.

Like how Jeongguk was leaving in a couple weeks, and soon their time would dwindle and die since the younger was preparing for the upcoming Olympics.

Or the fact that Taehyung was suddenly being scouted by colleges hours away from Seoul.

That conversation would be for another time, and surely they would tackle it when this "honeymoon" eventually wore off. He knew they would get to it, after all there was one thing he knew for sure.

Jeon Jeongguk was the best decision he ever made.

"Goodmorning Specs," A half-awake Jeongguk murmured hoarsely, voice slicked with sleep as he dragged himself out of his room, rubbing at his eyes.

"You okay?" Taehyung asked, nose scrunching together as the younger approached him. He gave him a look-over, snorting softly realizing Jeongguk's hair was sticking up in weird angles and there was a dry patch of drool on the corner of his chin.

"Alright as I can be," Jeongguk murmured groggily, running his hands down his face. "We had sex until two a.m. and we have an exam today. All that's gonna be on my mind is your ass."

"Well then. Sounds like you're doing peachy," The older teased, using the corner of his shirt to wipe away his boyfriend's drool. God, he couldn't get fully used to the idea that Jeongguk's really his. 

"I'm just hoping I won't pop a boner during math," He grumbled, lips jutting out into a pout as he approached the older. Taehyung raised an eyebrow, sliding a plate of toast with nutella in his direction.

"What? I don't wanna explain to Miss Kang that I'm getting freaky with cosine and tangent."

"You're an idiot," Taehyung mused, finishing off the last of the jam on his bread, happily biting into it. From the corner of his eye, he noticed Jeongguk sniffing it hesitantly.

"I didn't poison that if you're wondering," He frowned, eyebrows scrunching together. Jeongguk looked up at him, still skeptic. "Gguk, it's Monday. It's not like I ran to the nearest poison shop at ass o'clock to kill you."

"Fine. I'll take your word, but know I fucking love nutella," Jeongguk said, chewing his toast with his mouth wide open, already bugging Taehyung too early in the day.

"Also, I still don't trust you after you poured spoiled milk into my cereal," The younger whined. "I trusted you, Specs. Then you threw my trust away."

"I wasn't trying to accidentally kill you," He said, feeling the younger's arm sling around his waist like it was second nature. "It was an accident."

"Can you not eat like a dog? I really don't need a live view of you grinding your food," Taehyung cringed, shielding his face away from the horrific failed attempt at ASMR with his hand.

Jeongguk didn't listen, only crunching his food louder and stepping forward much to Taehyung's own distaste. The older backed away, holding his hands out to push him if he dared to get too close. Thankfully, the idiot stopped, smirking as he finally ate his food like a civilized human specimen.

"I want to bleach my eyes," Taehyung stated bluntly, immediately losing his appetite as he tossed his half-eaten toast into the compost bin.

"Please, delete thyself for the sake of humanity."

"But if I do, I can't blow your back out, and who's gonna call you dirty things in bed?" Jeongguk raised an eyebrow at him, smirking at the way Taehyung's cheeks flushed a vibrant red.

"D-don't say that," Taehyung pushed his cheet, but the younger's grip around his waist wasn't budging.

"I would have deleted myself a long time ago if it wasn't for you," The younger joked, dusting his fingers off on the plate before pecking Taehyung's cheek and heading to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

When Jeongguk was gone, he walked toward the mirror in the small living area, right next to the door, which saved him the trip of disappearing into his bedroom. Taehyung stopped in front of it, refusing to stare at himself, instead focusing his gaze on his tie.

Today was one of those days.

One of those particular days where his insecurities would swarm the back of his mind without warning and consume him, picking him apart until he was nothing but an overthinking mess.

Sure, he was 'pretty' now, and Jeongguk made sure to tell him how beautiful he was every time whether it be when they're naked or clothed and cuddling, but it was hard to really drop that mind set after years of being told, of believing, you were ugly.

Taehyung never mentioned it to Jeongguk.

He knew they worked together for months to build his own confidence within himself, and he supposed if he told him now that there were still days where hating himself was inevitable, he didn't know how Jeongguk would react.

He didn't want to burden him, per se, with his own shit since the younger had his own to tackle lately. They promised to handle things together, but this didn't seem like something he wanted to involve the younger into right now.

Mostly, he didn't want to disappoint him. Jeongguk was the last person he wanted to disappoint. With every disappointment, a person leaves.

Taehyung knew that by fact.

Usually he was okay, but on days like these, if he looked right into one, his mind would betray him. Instead of a simple glance, his head would create this huge flurry of negativity that practically ate him alive until he was basically nothing but chewed-up bone.

It was inevitable, walking in front of a mirror one morning and getting the biggest reminder that he was ugly— it was like a slap to the face, and he could feel it stinging against his cheek.

He could stand in front of one for hours, tearing himself apart over and over until he was nothing but scraps, endlessly searching for something he couldn't determine what it was exactly.

All he did was criticize his features. Pick himself apart until he was nothing.

Taehyung knew beneath all this he was still ugly. Somewhere there was an acne break-out waiting to happen, and perhaps if he stared long enough, he would realize how awkwardly proportionate his body was. His nose was too round, too big, and his lips were too small, and his eyelids weren't even.

Sometimes he wondered if Jeongguk would still like him if he didn't change this dramatically. Would he still date and pepper with kisses and praises to the Kim Taehyung with broth-colored brown hair, long, choppy bangs, and baggy clothes?

He bit at his lip, chewing at the skin, creating all sorts of 'what-ifs' with the insecurity that devoured him whole. Would the younger still want to be seen with him? Would Jeongguk even love him?

Did Jeongguk really want him, or did he want the Taehyung that changed for somebody else?

"Specs, you know the purpose of a mirror is to be looking at one, right?" Jeongguk's footsteps were awfully loud as he joined him by the mirror.

He refused to look up, knowing the younger was staring at him and continued to fidget with his tie.

"God, I look terrible. Maybe sex at ass-o'clock before big exams is a no go." You're lying to yourself. You should look at me.

"Specs? You're listening to me, right?" Jeongguk asked. Taehyung barely nodded, wincing when he messed his tie up for the third time. God, usually he got it, but for some reason he couldn't loop it right.

"Hello~ Earth to Specs? Bun? Tae?" The younger nudged his shoulder, a frown evident in his tone.

"Now I'm starting to think you have a grudge against mirrors."

"Can you please shut up," Taehyung snapped, his tie falling apart, catching the younger off guard.

"For once, can you stop being irritating for one goddamn moment?"

He lifted his gaze upward, meeting Jeongguk's eyes directly in the mirror, a scowl prominent on his features, but the second his stare drifted toward the mirror, everything stopped. Taehyung's adams apple bobbed nervously, his shoulders slightly sagging as his gaze fixated straight ahead.

He tried to shut his eyes, begging his mind not to start now before his day even began. Jeongguk, on the otherhand, went oddly silent until he decided to clear his throat, causing Taehyung's eyes to fly open.

"Are you alright?"Jeongguk said, voice gentle. He tried to reach out to the older but he pulled away from his touch, repulsed with himself.

"Does it look like it?" He replied, voice coarse. He inhaled slowly, feeling the younger's chest press against his back, his easing presence fighting with the chaos wrecking havoc in his head.

"You can tell me," The younger whispered, staring ahead at the mirorr, his stare latching onto the older's over the glass. "You know I got you."

Taehyung swallowed what felt like a rock in his throat. He shook his head, "I-It's just me being stupid again. It's nothing b-big. It's dumb. I'm dumb."

"You? Dumb? Taehyung we both know damn well that you're so fucking brilliant, baby," Jeongguk murmured gently, watching as the older ducked his down, ashamed.

"What is it? You can tell me anything, Tae."

Taehyung closed his eyes, hands curling into fists by his sides, the loose tie forgotten around his neck. He debated whether he should say it, knowing he would be dragging the younger down with his own worries if he did.

But all of it was pent up, stuck in his throat and ticking away inside of him like a bomb.

This— he didn't want this to be the end of their perfect little bubble. He didn't want to blame himself for destroying it, this happiness, that they have made with one another.

He didn't want to infect it, ruin it, and trash it apart when everything was so perfect.

But the words clogged on his throat, threatening to spill from his tongue. With every passing second, he wanted to cry out, to tell him to forget it and carry on like nothing happened. He wanted them to be okay, to not have to worry.

And yet, the longer he stared at Jeongguk's worried features, he knew they were past that. Jeongguk was already stressing over him when he shouldn't, and god the panic seized his throat and his chest was all wonky and breathing unevenly.

"Do you still want me?"

He blurted out, the words choked out, forced from his throat. He trembled, biting down on his lip, wanting to get out of there, to continue berating himself for ruining their bubble.

He felt pathetic for even thinking like this, for letting his insecurities ruin everything once more. This was it. He ruined it, didn't he?

Jeongguk remained silent, mouth opening for a moment to say something but he seemed to decide against that and shut his lips again into a tight line. His mind was working, and in the mirror, Taehyung could see those invisible gears turn, invoking this still expression radiating focus.

"Can you tell me what you see, staring at the mirror?"

"O-of course. I see myself" Taehyung whispered, voice almost muted. He gulped and averted his gaze to his feet, staring hard at his socks, wiggling his toes beneath the material. "Why?"

"Tell me what you see, bun," Jeongguk asked gently, "And I mean what do you see, Tae. Not just yourself but everything else you see. I'll listen."

"W-What?" His brows furrowed, the words he wanted to say melting on his tongue before they could properly form. Eventually, he gave up, taking in a deep breath before saying, "F-Fine, sorry."

"It's okay," Jeongguk said, his orders not at all demanding but rather calming as though he took Taehyung's nerves into his hands and ran his lips over them, melting his stress away with his delicate words.

"It's all good, baby. We got time."

"No we don't," Taehyung whispered, fingers squeezing into fists at his sides. "We don't. We have school. Y-You have volleyball and—,"

"—That doesn't matter. We have time. Tardies don't mean shit," The younger murmured, cutting him off. "We have all the time in the world." Taehyung nodded slowly, trying to believe him.

"I-I," He inhaled sharply, flinching a little when the younger's hand grazed his arm. "I see me, my old self. The bowl cut and brown hair." I see a person you probably would have called ugly. You probably wouldn't have approached me. 

"Taehyung," Jeongguk's voice pulled from his thoughts. His fingers were curled as they brushed up and down the expanse of his arm, dragging down the fabric to the edge of his elbow.

"A-alright," He whispered, voice cracking, words trembling off his tongue. "I-I'm scared you'll realize I'm not enough, a-and that you'll get bored and see t-there's other people who are so much better. W-who are more beautiful. S-somebody that deserves you."

"Y-you'll see I'm not confident at all, and that this is an act, and we b-both lied to ourselves. I don't look good— I'll never be as good," Taehyung couldn't hear himself over the pounding of his own heart.

"Even with this new look, I still hate how big my nose is, and the acne on my face, and my b-body. All the stretchmarks and moles, and just... everything," He swallowed, feeling the younger's gaze staring directly at him through the mirror.

"Is that what you think of yourself?"

"Yeah," Taehyung hummed, breathless. "I-It's okay. You don't need to— oh," His eyes widened slightly, feeling the younger take off his blazer and his tie.

"What are you doing?" He asked, words caught in the swell of his throat as he watched his blazer fall to the ground and pool around his ankles.

"Gonna tell you what I think," Jeongguk murmured into his ear, nose brushing against the side of his head. He sucked in his breath, skin tingling when Jeongguk slipped his palm up his shirt.

"Gonna show you what I see if that's alright with you, bun?" Taehyung nodded dumbly.

He felt the younger's other hand slip beneath his chin, gently guiding his head upward until their gazes were leveled. Taehyung's adam's apple bobbed uneasily while a wave of insecurity crashed over him, consuming him, but before he could sink, Jeongguk brought him to the surface.

"I think your face is beautiful, but let me tell you why." He ran his finger down his jawline, touch almost ghostlike as goosebumps littered his arms. "I think your nose suits you, and it's made just for you. It balances out your features, and the mole on it makes me want to boop your cute little nose."

And he did. The older stiffled a giggle. Jeongguk went on and kissed his cheek.

"For the acne? Everyone has it, bun. It's natural, shows how human you are. Fun fact, I used to have really bad acne when I was younger," Jeongguk said, "and it'll clear up. But it also doesn't make you any less beautiful."

Taehyung tilted his head back, breath shallow as the older began to unbutton his shirt. He stared at the younger's fingers carefully prying each button loose, and with every passing second it felt like eternity by the way Jeongguk took his time undressing him.

"People nowadays want clear faces with no flaws, and I respect their choices. However, I don't think there's really such thing as ugly flaws," Jeongguk whispered, finishing the last button and helping the older shrug out of it.

"Y'know the little moles are like little stars. I stare at 'em all the time, bun. Especially the one buried in your eyelash— that one's my favorite," Jeongguk smiled against his cheek. "That scar on your cheek has a little story, right? It holds a memory."

"It was a good memory," Taehyung found himself admitting. "I fell off my bike when I was five. Siwon thought I could do it, but I ended up eating dirt." He chuckled lightly, remembering how panicked his dad got while Warren was calm the entire time as he wiped away his tears.

"See? They're beautiful— they make you, you." His heart fluttered in his chest when the younger nuzzled his nose against the side of his hair. "What else?"

"My s-stomach. It's n-not like yours, and I swear I t-tried to change it," Taehyung bit down on his lip, watching Jeongguk's hands slide over his sides, gently massaging at the pudgy flesh.

"Well there's no need to change it," Jeongguk trailed his lips over the curve of his bare shoulder. "Any kind of body is amazing, Tae. Whether you got hard abs, or a smooth tummy like yours," he poked his stomach teasingly.

"It's just as beautiful," His brows furrowed together when Jeongguk maneuvered themselves around so now he was in front of the older.

"You're so fucking beautiful."

His breath hitched as the younger began to lower himself down to his knees, leaving delicate kisses over his stomach until he finally sunk to the floor.

Taehyung watched, cheeks aflame and lip badly abused between his teeth, while Jeongguk pressed his lips over his navel and in the crevice where his v-line should be but in its wake was soft pudge.

Jeongguk tilted his head back, peering up at him with the softest of smiles while his hands gripped on his hips, "Could stare at your pretty tummy for hours, bun. I love your tummy."

"You do?" He asked, struggling to put a single word together. Jeongguk nodded, squeezing his hips.

"Love every part of it. It's soft and smooth and just so perfect. And your thighs, god, I love them," He gulped, gaze meeting Jeongguk's as the younger silently asked him if it was okay to proceed before nodding and letting him undo his belt.

He watched through hooded eyes while Jeongguk worked the belt and tossed it aside, the buckle clattering against the floor. He awkwardly fidgeted with his fingers, twirling them around one another when Jeongguk tugged his pants down.

They've had sex before— they've seen one another naked so many times Taehyung could picture it in his mind if he focused hard enough. But for some reason, this time felt like the first, and all he wanted to do was press his legs together and hide, scared he wasn't worth it.

But he fought the urge, watching Jeongguk slip his hands down his thighs, squeezing and kneading the supple flesh beneath his strong, calloused grip. He licked his lips slowly, watching Jeongguk duck his head forward and kiss his inner thighs.

"F-fuck, what are you d-doing?" Taehyung shivered beneath his touch, brows drawn tightly together when Jeongguk playfully nipped at the skin. If this was going anywhere, he knew for sure they would be late at this rate.

"Your thighs are gorgeous, bun," Jeongguk mumbled against his thigh. "The stretchmarks on the inside show that you've grown, not only just physically but as a person. The little birthmark is just as precious as the rest of you."

"J-Jeongguk, we're gonna be late," He managed to mumble out, stumbling over every word. Jeongguk seemed to ignore him, and before Taehyung could realize what was going on, he was taking off his underwear.

"N-No, wait, stop," And Jeongguk did, staring up at him with those big, round doe eyes that never failed to sparkle and reveal every one of his emotions.

"What, bun?" Jeongguk ran his hands up the expanse of his thighs, genuine concern swirling in the pools of galaxy in his irises.

"M'not," He blushed feverishly, feeling like an absolute ridiculous idiot with Jeongguk on his knees for him. It didn't feel right, and sure, he was worried about being late but that was out the door—

"You're not what?" The younger asked patiently.

"I-I— Jeongguk," Taehyung whined softly, flicking his forehead. Jeongguk merely snorted, freeing his hand to grab his wrist and bring it close to his mouth.

"Tell me. M'all ears, baby," Jeongguk brushed his lips over his wrist, and fuck, the way he stared at him made him melt like putty. Taehyung glanced toward the side, rolling his eyes.

"M'not hard. It's still... yeah," He muttered, face burning impossibly hot. At that, Jeongguk chuckled deeply, adding to the fire licking flames inside of him.

"It's still soft?"

"Don't say that," Taehyung grumbled, swatting at him, which the younger dodged. Jeongguk threw his back a little, laughter bubbling out of his mouth.

"We'll change that when we get to it. Will you let me take off your underwear so I can appreciate your dick too?" Jeongguk asked, and of course, he ruined the moment with his choice of words.

Taehyung rolled his eyes before caving in and nodding meekly. Jeongguk's fingers hooked around the waistband, and with a shaky exhale, he watched with sheer embarrassment as his flaccid cock emerged from beneath the fabric.

"T-this is embarassing," Taehyung huffed, refusing to look at his dick. He squirmed beneath Jeongguk's gaze, but the younger was gripping his thighs firmly, holding him in place.

"There's nothing embarassing about showing my appreciation for you," Jeongguk said, watching the older's shoulders slacken when his palm enclosed around his dick. He pumped it lazily, feeling it slowly harden beneath his fingers.

"You have a huge dick, Tae. Honestly, you're way above average and that's something to brag about. Not every Asian guy can be as hung as you," The younger teased lightly, letting go of his semi-hard on and spitting into his palm.

"Spit? Really? You're gonna wipe your spit on my dick?" Taehyung asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"We've done worse," Jeongguk shut him up and curved his fingers around Taehyung's cock, his wrist flicking upward, dragging every movement out with every gentle tug.

"See, you're beautiful. Even your dick is beautiful. I know all you see is ugliness and being unworthy of anything, but Tae, you are gorgeous," Jeongguk said, gaze intense watching Taehyung rock his hips forward against his touch out of natural instinct.

"Not only are you funny, caring, selfless, and so fucking thoughtful, your body is beautiful. You are so goddamn beautiful, Tae, I'll keep saying it until you get tired of me," He laughed, now staring down at Taehyung's erection in his palm.

Taehyung wanted to say something, to tell him he was wrong, but for some reason he couldn't say a single word. He averted his gaze to Jeongguk, who was looking up at him, eyes sparkling and lips slacked into the prettiest of smiles, and his heart lurched.

It lurched because Jeongguk was here, telling him the reasons why he should love his body, and why he should be confident in himself.

"Every flaw you see is a perfection in my eyes. Whoever has the privilege to love you will find themselves falling in love with every part of you," Jeongguk whispered, squeezing his girth, evoking a soft hum from the older.

"You are worth more than you cut yourself out to be. We as people accept the love we think we deserve, but Tae, what we don't realize is that we deserve every ounce of love people have to offer," Jeongguk said softly.

"We just gotta find the right person to give us that love."

"J-Jeongguk," Taehyung's tone softened, his words baret audible on his tongue. Jeongguk hummed.

"M'your person, hyung," The younger whispered, his free hand taking Taehyung's and placing it over his cheek. He held his hand over his, squeezing the older's fingers and melding into his touch.

"I want to be that person," Jeongguk said, "and I will be as long as you let me."

"Do you like me?" He blurted out, caught up in the eratic thump of his heart and the thousands of feelings surging through him and Jeongguk's name, his face, his words replaying in his mind.

"That's a dumb question," The younger chuckled, and right before Taehyung could pull away in confusion, hurt, he brought him closer.

"Like isn't enough to describe what I feel, silly."

Taehyung's eyebrows eased, realizing what Jeongguk had said, what he told him with his own words. His heart danced and spun and so did his stomach, doing all sorts of shameless turns and flips that left him dizzy in his stance.

He gulped, staring down at the younger, melting beneath his tender stare that seemed to unravel him until he was nothing and proceed to put him back together in a way that left him better than before.

It was in the way he stared at him, held him, and touched him in ways without using his hands that made Taehyung realize he didn't want to lose this.

This was something he couldn't let go of, and if he did, he wasn't sure how he would ever recover. God, He would be a fool to lose Jeon Jeongguk.

A stupid, dumb, fool.

He felt Jeongguk's hand slip from his, and the younger grabbed his hip once more. He peered up at him, lips pressing against the side of his cock, a hint of a smile curving behind his length.

"We're going to be late," He found himself saying, and it wasn't exactly what he wanted to say, but surprisingly Jeongguk got it. The younger shrugged, pumping his cock once more before giving him a suggestive look.

"We're the top students, bun," Jeongguk snorted. "I think they owe us a little break, yeah?" Taehyung nodded dumbly, a long, drawn-out moan slipping past his parted lips when Jeongguk finally took his cock into his warm, damp mouth.

They didn't go to class that morning, for the rest of the period where they should have been in class, Jeongguk spent his time showing him how beautiful he was while Taehyung promised himself he would never let him ever get out of his reach no matter what.

♡♡♡

♡♡♡

"Fucking hell," Jeongguk fell onto his bottom on the gym floor, falling flat on his back as he spread his limbs over the cool wood. "Why haven't we stopped yet?"

"Coach is running us harder 'cuz you have the Olympics coming up," Yugyeom wheezed, reaching for his waterbottle beside him before throwing his head back and draining the remaining water.

"Also because Park didn't show up. For every member that doesn't come, we run two miles," San grumbled, using his shirt to wipe the sweat off his brow. "I hate Park Jimin with a passion."

"You're not the only one. Parkass is a little bitch for not coming. Bet he's hella pissed off 'cuz he didn't get an invite," Yugyeom grumbled, crunching his waterbottle beneath his grip.

"Still! He should have given an excuse. I wonder where he went that was more important," San shrugged, tossing his sweaty brown hair back over his forehead. Hope he isn't bothering my Taehyung, Jeongguk thought.

"I'm gonna strangle him when he comes back. My legs can't take this abuse," Yugyeom snapped. "I need to go home and sleep. Fuck exercise."

"Says you. You're on the varsity volleyball team. You signed up for this," Jeongguk snorted, speaking up after getting a drink. Yugyeom rolled his eyes.

"I know. I just wanna go home already. Coach kept us here too long," Yugyeom sighed, wiping the sweat off his brow with the back of his wrist. "I can feel sweat in my ass cheeks."

"Sadly, we can't. Coach wants us to do more hitting and receiving drills for another hour," San said, his words being met with a chorus of groans. "Oh wait, Jeongguk."

"Yeah?" He asked, setting his waterbottle back down. "What's up?"

"Don't you have a date with Taehyung?" Oh. Fuck.

"Fucking hell," Jeongguk scrambled over to his bag, digging in the duffle for his phone after he realized he was an hour late to their date tonight. "Shit, shit, shit, I made him wait."

"Hopefully the guy understands," Yugyeom said, watching Jeongguk fumbled with his password for his thumbs were too sweaty. "That's the problem with dating an athlete. It's either you or the sport."

"That's not the case," Jeongguk snapped, glaring at the younger who raised his hands up in defense. "I have a lot of time for Taehyung." He said, unsure why he was forcing himself to believe it as the words felt wrong on his tongue.

"Do you really though Gguk?" San piped in, leaning forward, arms dangling over his bent knees. "We have practice three hours every day a week. You're gonna go to Japan every weekend to practice with the big shots."

"I said I have time for him. I'll make time," He snarled, finally opening his phone to a bunch of texts from his boyfriend. Fucking fuck, he swallowed, stomach dropping as he read Taehyung's concerned messages.

"We just don't want you guys to suffer from your other things, Gguk. We know you two are whipped, but this is huge," San said. "You don't want Tae to think he's not as important as volleyball."

"He won't think that," Jeongguk brushed him off, not wanting to cater to the nasty feeling twisting his stomach as he typed an apology to his boyfriend, asking him if he could wait another hour.

"Jeongguk, be reasonable. Jae would say the same thing," Yugyeom sighed. "Have you guys talked at least about you leaving?"

"Yes," Jeongguk lied, but by the unimpressed looks on his friends' faces, he caved in. "No, we haven't. We haven't had the time 'cuz we were busy."

"Busy fucking each other's asses into oblivious. God, ya'll need to talk. You can't keep shoving shit aside and wait for later," Yugyeom nudged his foot, brows furrowed.

"When later comes, it might be too late, Gguk."

"Don't you think I know that? You sound like Jae," The oldest of the trio rolled his eyes, and the second his phone vibrated, he returned his attention back to Taehyung's message, and thank god, he agreed to wait.

"Are you seriously making him wait?" San asked, genuinely not amused when Jeongguk finally put his phone away. "Gguk, we don't know when we're gonna leave."

"Can I ask why you guys are suddenly attacking me today? It's not a big deal. We're happy. Things are going pretty great. That's all that matters," Jeongguk said, the edges of his lips curved into a scowl.

"There's nothing wrong, and you guys don't have to worry. I got it all handled," He stressed, tossing his phone back into his duffle. Just as the older was about to get up and try to unwind himself in some volleyball, San grabbed him, holding him down.

"Taehyung or volleyball. Answer us."

"W-What? Is that even a question?" He stammered, staring incredulously at his two friends, who seemed hellbent on bullying him today. Usually they never got into his business, but there was something else in the air getting them all concerned.

"It is now," Yugyeom crossed his arms over his chest. "What's the answer, Cap? Should be easy, hm?"

Sure, he appreciated that they cared, but sometimes he wished they didn't get so concerned. Jeongguk was good at handling things on his own; Namjoon and Yoongi trained him to do ever since high school started and his old friends decided he wasn't worth worrying over.

Whatever was going on with Taehyung was none of their fucking business! The two of them weren't going to talk about it, hell, they both already knew he was going to leave soon.

Was it really a crime to just want to enjoy their last few weeks together without having to worry about that?

But the longer Yugyeom and San stared at him, and the longer no word was said, Jeongguk swallowed thickly, struggling to come up with an answer. He scratched the side of his neck, jaw setting tight as he scrambled to choose, and yet, he couldn't.

Taehyung or volleyball. He thought he knew the answer to it, but now, he wasn't so sure anymore.

"You need to realize you're not single anymore. Tae is not another fuck," San's tone softened, and soon the grip on his shoulder eased into a gentle pat. "You guys are boyfriends. You gotta think about his own feelings too."

"We know volleyball is important to you, Gguk, and so is Taehyung," Yugyeom added, "but you need to either choose one, or figure out a compromise 'cuz it's going to get real messy."

"We don't wanna see either of you get hurt," San finished in a soft whisper, to which Yugyeom hummed in agreement with, genuine worry in his usual carefree eyes.

"It's not going to be messy, you guys," Jeongguk didn't know who he was trying to convince at this point, but he tried anyways, tried to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal. Yugyeom and San didn't seem to believe him.

"Jeongguk," San started, but the older cut him off and got to his feet. His friends joined him, both opening their mouths to start, but Jeongguk raised his hand, silencing them both.

"I'll figure out a compromise, alright? I know what you're trying to say, but I got this," He cleared his throat, his tone easing as he cupped the side of his neck. "We'll figure it out."

Of course they were going to figure it out because they were best friends before this— they always solved their shit together. Around Taehyung, all of his choices made sense, things were easy between them, and they didn't even need to talk about it. So of course, it was going to work out.

But why, why, of all times, did his stomach drop the moment those three words left his lips?

"Alright. We'll stop bothering you about it," San patted his back. "But know you're not alone, okay, Gguk?" The older nodded silently, flashing them a weak smile before trailing after them as they walked back to the court.

Right, he rubbed his hands together, trying to shake the uneasiness off from his mind. This was going to work out, and at the end of this they would still be boyfriends, Jeongguk told himself.

But the second his feet touched the court, all his worries were casted aside and forgotten, and little did he know that his choice was way easier than he thought it would be.

♡♡♡

Jeongguk wasn't coming.

Taehyung was done texting him, guessing their coach was running practice extra late especially since a tournament was coming up. He sighed, adjusting his bag and slipping his phone back into his pocket before locking the door to the student council room.

Sure, he was a bit disappointed, but there wasn't much he could do. To Jeongguk, volleyball was the bane of his existence. The guy lived and breathed for volleyball. Before Taehyung, he dedicated his entire life to it— there was no reason for him to be upset.

Plus it wasn't like it was going to happen again. The younger had some late practices, but he always made it up with a cute date for the two of them and some sex.

To be honest, Taehyung was looking forward to the sorry sex, where Jeongguk let him pound him into another realm, so he supposed he didn't mind. This didn't happen often, therefore he should let it go.

And he did. The disappointment didn't last long, instead he was just bummed, mildly sad he wasn't able to spend his (now late) lunch with his boyfriend. It wasn't like they weren't ever going to do it again anyways. He would get to see him later tonight.

He tucked his keys back into his pocket and set off back to the dorms, whistling a tune as he walked. He was probably just going to eat alone at the dorm, or maybe even call up Hoseok or Jin if they weren't busy. Maybe he might do some work.

Lost in his thoughts and the little happy tune he whistled, Taehyung bumped into someone, their shoulders colliding with such force it snapped him out of his thoughts. He blinked rapidly, realizing he was teetering to the side.

Holding his hand out to steady himself against the wall, he turned to apologize, ready to face a lost freshman, or a hurrying lower classman. Smiling his student council smile, he opened his mouth until he recognized the familiar head of blonde hair.

His smile immediately disappeared.

"Ah fucking hell. I'm so sorry— oh, Taehyung," It was Jimin, breathless and hair disheveled over his forehead. He watched silently as the older brushed his fringe aside, grumbling beneath his breath.

"Why are you here?" He asked, eyeing the older up and down, throat suddenly dry. They haven't really spoken since their date, and even then, Taehyung didn't see Jimin around for awhile.

"I was going to talk to the athletics director," Jimin said, patting down his blazer and smoothing out the creases on his button-up. "I'm joining the South Korea national volleyball team."

"That's good to hear," Taehyung said, pressing his lips together as the two of them awkwardly stood in the hall. "Didn't think you'd pursue volleyball."

"Me either, but my dad said I should try it since I've gotten this far. It's just for the summer so," Jimin shrugged, and surprisingly Taehyung didn't notice any hint of aggression or bitterness in his tone. Odd.

"Right," He nodded, the tip of his tongue flicking over his lips, wetting them. "I was just finishing some council work. Lots of detentions I had to give y'know." He tried to joke to ease the awkwardness, and what a shocker! Jimin... smiled?

"That's great they had you for that," Jimin chuckled, like genuinely chuckled. Was Taehyung talking to the right guy? "I'm sure you handled it well."

"Yeah," Taehyung studied the older closer, the skin between his brows creasing slightly. Jimin merely nodded, scratching the side of his neck as the small smile on his lips eased into a thin line.

"Alright. I, um, have to get going," Jimin said, jabbing his thumb down the other hall. "It's nice to see you. Heard you're dating Jeongguk in practice, and uh, I hope you guys are happy."

Did he just hear that correctly?

To think, he was talking to the guy who tried to force sex on him and was so absorbed in himself to realize that Taehyung was next to him. This was the exact same guy who yelled and shouted and was a whole brat to anyone, and yet he was quiet, giving genuine smiles, and acting... a bit timid.

What happened during winter break?

"Wait," Taehyung wasn't sure if he was going to regret this since he didn't put much thought into his choice, but Jimin already spun around, eyebrows raised, waiting for him. He bit his own lip.

"Do you want to grab lunch with me?" He asked, sliding his hands into his pockets. Before Jimin could answer, he added, "you don't have to."

"Oh no, it's okay. I'd like to, if you're down," Jimin nodded once then twice. He hugged himself, hands sliding down his arms. "If you're okay with it."

"Yeah. I don't have anyone to eat lunch with, and I'm a bit hungry," Taehyung tried to relax as the two of them began walking down the hall and toward the cafeteria to sate the growls clawing at his stomach.

"Same here," The older admitted, a smile twitching on his lips while the two stood a decent distance away from one another.

"Let's hope there's still food, hm?"

And after quite the awkward walk down to the canteen, the two of them bought their food and sat down in the far back away from the rest of the students. There wasn't a thick crowd, for it was two hours after lunch, but luckily on weekends the cafeteria stayed open longer.

Taehyung didn't know why he decided to invite Jimin out to lunch with him. Of all people, he chose to ask him. He wasn't sure if they were even on good terms since the last time they spoke.

He poked around at his half-eaten macaroni and cheese, occasionally glancing over at Jimin who seemed to be focused on his rice bowl. They haven't spoken a word since they sat down, and he guessed it was because neither one of them knew where to start.

That was, until Jimin cleared his throat, and by accident their gazes met directly. Taehyung gulped, eyeing the older before averting his gaze back to his food. Fuck, why was his chest so tight?

"I want to say I'm sorry."

"You're what?" Taehyung nearly choked.

"I know my behavior was fucked up, and I treated you like shit, so I understand if you don't want to forgive me 'cos me forcing you to do something lile that was inexcusable. I'm sorry," At first, he wasn't so sure if he was being genuine, so he looked up, daring to meet his stare once more.

Jimin truly did look apologetic, or well, Taehyung supposed he did. The older was chewing on the edge of his thumb, biting at the skin as he waited for his answer. An answer Taehyung wasn't sure about. He blinked, struggling to think.

"And about the Jeongguk stuff, I'm sorry. We're not really friends anymore, but I still wish him the best," Jimin chuckled half-heartedly as he poked around at his food with his chopsticks.

Was Taehyung really hearing things right today?

"It's okay," Taehyung started, supposing since it happened months ago, and that Jimin seemed genuine that maybe it was okay to move forward. "It was shitty of you, but we're past that."

The corner of Jimin's lips tugged upward, "I'm sorry, about that. I really am. I was just a fucking mess, but that's not an excuse—,"

"— It's alright," The younger sighed, chewing at the inside of his cheek. "We're fine. I forgive you."

"Right," Jimin scratched the side of his neck. "You really don't have to. I treated you like shit."

"Jimin."

"Okay, sorry," The older set his chopsticks on the side, gently raising his hands up in defense. "I'll stop. I know I should have realized it earlier though, but at least now you have Jeongguk."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He raised an eyebrow at him, still somewhat unsure whether he should really lower his guard. Probably not seeing that it was Jimin.

"I mean that I'm glad that you two are happy," Jimin said smoothly. "Jeongguk looks brighter nowadays. You two really deserve one another. I'm sure he treats you right."

"Yeah, he does," Taehyung said warily. "If you still have something against him, you can tell me."

"But then you would tattle to your boyfriend," Jimin shot back. At that, Taehyung's brows knitted tight. The older sighed raggedly, before slouching in his chair, shoulders slumped.

"Sorry, that came out wrong. It's just, it's funny. I understand why he never worked out when I look at you both," Jimin rambled. Okay, so maybe he was wrong.

"Still didn't answer my question. What's your point?" Taehyung leaned back in his seat, not really in the mood for food anymore. Jimin sighed, carding his fingers through his hair.

"My point is that you're exactly what Jeongguk wants," Jimin said. "You've fit yourself to be the last puzzle piece he needs. He wants somebody that could understand him and his choices, and you do it well. You get him."

"I never understood Jeongguk," Jimin admitted before Taehyung could cut in. "He always put volleyball above everything and everyone else, and I couldn't bring myself to understand why."

"It's nice to see you support him choosing volleyball over your relationship."

"You don't know that," Taehyung tensed, suddenly regretting even inviting him, but he noticed the older winced, and maybe it was another mistake. God, how many mistakes would this guy make?

"That came out wrong again," Jimin pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fuck, I'm just saying, I don't have the patience to deal with Jeongguk and volleyball. Props to you on that."

"Thanks," He said uneasily, still not quite sure if this was a good idea anymore, but by the way Jimin stared down at his food, his expression having fallen into a look of regret, his chest eased.

"M'not good at this, you see. Making friends. Small talk," The blonde said quietly. "I fuck everything up pretty fast, and god, I'm rambling again. It's just, I'm not used to it. I've been stuck with the same people for years and we rarely talk nowadays."

"What do you mean?" Taehyung slightly leaned forward, raising an eyebrow at the older. Jimin simply shrugged.

"Ever since we had some personal issues, our friendgroup wasn't the same," Jimin murmured. "It's nothing big, but I've been stuck with them for years, and now we don't talk anymore. Jeongguk was the last friend I had until now."

"So you've been alone?" Taehyung asked.

"Yeah. We can say that. I suck at people skills. M'not as good as you think I am," Jimin chuckled lightly, "but that doesn't matter much. I'm sorry if I'm talking your ear off."

"No, it's fine. I didn't know that you guys don't talk. That's horrible," He found himself feeling bad, even though he shouldn't, but Taehyung did anyways. God, he was too nice— Jeongguk bullied him about it, and he guessed it was true.

Maybe he should work on it, but this conversation. Fuck, this conversation. It wasn't comparable to what they talked about in the convenience store, and yet, he had this feeling— nostalgia, perhaps — that reminded him oddly of those long, late nights.

He thought it was just because they were sharing an actual decent conversation rather than Taehyung just listening to him drone on and on. For once, they were actually talking to one another, and he guessed it was just old memories resurfacing.

Surely not old feelings. Those were long gone.

"Can I be honest with you one more time?" The older asked, saving the conversation before it died out yet again. Taehyung nodded for him to go, snapping out of his own thoughts.

"I really did remember what happened between us during the summer."

"Jimin... you don't have to—," Taehyung's shoulders sagged as he started to tell him they should probably forget that, but the older raised his hand, silencing him.

"I was a jerk. I remember working with you and I guess I tried to shove you away because I don't ever get like that with anyone," Jimin said softly, staring down at the table. "I was scared. Scared you knew me personally, and I needed to get that image of me out of your head."

"But that's not necessary," He spoke up, voice teetering on the edge of a waver, and yet he still seemed to be speak carefully, smoothly. "It was no excuse to treat you like shit."

"Those shifts were the only times you made me feel accompanied, y'know? I felt like I had a friend."

"Jimin-ssi," Taehyung sighed, folding his hands over the table as he leaned forward in his chair. "I told you, it's okay. We're past that."

"Do you remember how we talked about comics? I adored them, but everyone I partied with hates them. Thinks they're immature. My dad thought they were a waste of time," Jimin ignored him, continuing on, pressing the memories onto him until they played vividly again in his mind.

Those hazy, muggy evenings when the only cool air they got was the shitty fan on the counter. The nights where they were drenched in sweat and shared their snacks and drinks while they talked about everything and nothing at all.

The nights where Taehyung found a new friend, or well, somebody that suddenly caught his poor heart and nutured it with the same care he did with their relationship.

Somebody who treated him like a person and didn't once mention his looks. Somebody who gave him a chance. Somebody who shared his interests, who seemed interested in him.

"Ever since my mom died and I lost Jeongguk, you felt like a friend that I needed at the time," Jimin whispered. "Thank you for that."

"Your mother died?" Fuck, now he couldn't help but feel guilty for the blonde. Jimin nodded.

"And Jeongguk was ignoring me at the time. You saw him a few times. He was there, but I don't think you noticed him 'cuz we were always laughing so hard," Jimim chuckled.

"I miss those times," He sighed, pushing his hair behind his ear. "Do you?"

"I did. It was the best summer of my life," Taehyung found himself admitting. At that, Jimin smiled, and for once, it wasn't small and reserved but rather wide, lighter even.

It was like a light was suddenly replaced, and now it shined even brighter.

"Do you think, and I know that this is asking very much especially because of what happened in the past," Jimin chuckled uneasily, his hand cupping the side of his neck, ringed fingers scratching at the patch of fair skin.

"I told you we're past that," Taehyung crossed his arms over his chest, genuinely curious to what the older had to say. "What's up?"

"It's just," Jimin murmured, "I want to know if we can go back to being that way, if possible."

"You want to what?" He lifted an eyebrow at him, u sure if he was hearing things right. Jimin swallowed before tilting his chin up, his gaze directly meeting his and there, on his lips, was that smile.

That same smile he gave him when they first met in that convenience store all that time ago. Fuck.

"I want to know if we can restart," Jimin said steadily, oblivious to the way Taehyung's heartbeat thrased around in his chest, the rush of his blood pumping through him drowning out the noise in the cafeteria.

"I want to know if we can be friends again."

♡♡♡

and this is where it starts (:

also i respect you guys completely.
i really do apologize for writing a scene
that implied noncon, and i hope you
know it wasn't in my intent at all! you
guys matter so much to me & i could
never hurt you guys on purpose ):

i love everyone of you🥺💛💛