September 13, 2022

Why had she agreed? Silly question because she knows the exact reason she gave into his request. They've been lucky in the three days that H has stayed at Nat's, but that luck won't last forever. At her mother's house, Noah barrels out the front door, his guitar case banging on his leg as he carries it in one hand with his backpack in the other.

"Mom?" Nat inquires, shading her eyes with one hand as she looks up at her mother standing on the stoop, the laundry basket at her feet with the clean sheets from the condo. "Noah, Harry, and I are going to stay at a friend's house for a few days."

The woman's gaze hardens, and she nods once before biting her lip. "Probably for the best. I've already asked your cousin Charlie to circle around the block once every few hours on his shift, and I've seen him in his police car checking on us and taking down license plates on the block. He's doing the same at your sister's house."

Nat's heart fills with liquid dread that pumps through her veins. Everyone she loves shouldn't have to turn their lives upside down so that she can play house with Harry.

"I'm sorry, Mom," she whispers, her head bowed.

"I know you are, baby." Marching down the three stone steps, one hand on the black wrought iron metal railing with the laundry basket resting on her opposite hip, Debra settles a soothing hand on her daughter's arm. "And I'm sorry you're in this position. You know I love Harry..."

"Mom, don't start." Nataley swallows, taking the clean sheets from her mother. "Everyone knows this is a bad idea, and I'm well aware I shouldn't indulge, but..." She raises her eyes overhead to the clear blue California sky, "he makes me happy, and he makes Noah happy, and I just want to live in this bubble for a little while longer."

Debra wraps her daughter in a hug, the laundry basket awkwardly in the way. "I wasn't going to tell you to stop, baby. The positive changes I've seen in Noah just the last two days are worth the risk. What I was going to say is that every time you do this -- give Harry hope -- you keep him from falling for another woman."

A sharp pain stabs through her at the thought of Harry with someone else. "Ouch, Mom. I hadn't thought about that."

"I know you love him, but at some point, you're going to have to release him to live his life. Without you."

Her throat, coated with thick unshed tears, won't allow a response beyond a grunt. As she twists to return to the car, her mother calls out, "I don't want to know anything about where you're staying, okay?"

With a thumbs up, Nataley settles in the car, twisting the key in the ignition. Harry and Noah, already lost in conversation about school and music, jabber at each other while she puts the car in gear, heading for home.

"Can you teach me another chord tonight, H? I did my homework already."

"Sure! If you take Chuck out for his walk and clean up after him."

"Ugh gross, H. But okay. I'll do it."

"Oh, and first you have to pack up the stuff in your room that you need for a week or so."

"Huh?"

Noah's confused voice reaches Nat's ears, and she turns the music completely off for the conversation. Harry looks to Nataley. Receiving a silent signal in the form of a nod from her, he proceeds with the topic.

"We're going on a little holiday of sorts."

"We are? Cool! Where are we going? I wanna see your house in London, and you said someday you would take me to visit Uncle Al in Italy. Is that where we're going? Or are we going to hang at Uncle Jeffrey's place in Idaho again? Oh! Or maybe Aunt Cindy's house in Canada -- although it's supposed to start getting cold in both of those places, and I don't like the cold too much, you know? Can I take my guitar? Are we going on a plane? Do I have to do schoolwork?"

Harry laughs, "Mate, you're getting way ahead of the conversation. We're going to stay at a friend's house not far from here."

"Oh," Noah's deflation was similar to that of one of those waving blow up advertising dancers when the air pump is turned off.

"You missed the best part of the announcement, little man. We're gonna stay at Gabe's house, and he's got a piano and a music room with a bunch of guitars. We might even convince Mitch to come over and jam with us."

Immediately, Nataley hears the excitement in Noah's voice. "And Aunt Sarah? Would she come play drums for us?"

"Perhaps," Harry replies, "If your mum is willing to cook a homemade vegan meal for her."

"Please, mama!? I wanna play a song with them!"

Smiling, Nataley pulls into the parking lot at her condo, her eyes surveying the other cars in the lot, spotting a blue Honda she's never seen before. Her hands tense on the steering wheel. Rather than pulling into her usual spot, she continues driving, her eyes on the atypical car.

"Love?" Harry asks.

"Blue Honda."

She feels Harry's eyes lock onto the vehicle in question. "Plates are from Alabama. Could be a rental or someone drove a long way."

The waves of blood rushing through Nataley's ears are deafening as her heart pounds faster than Secretariat racing for the finish line. As she slowly drives past the unfamiliar car, noticing that no one appears to be inside, Harry speaks quietly. "Looks like your neighbors have friends visiting." His head gestures towards another condo where the owner is hugging an older gentleman before waving goodbye as the visitor lopes to the Honda, hands in his pockets.

Relief courses through her veins like that first sip of whiskey, and she circles the lot, returning to her regular parking spot. As she puts the car in gear and removes her fingers from the steering wheel, her hands are trembling. Harry wraps his hands around hers, rubbing them hard.

"It's okay, love. False alarm."

She nods. "Yeah." A forced laugh follows. "I guess Ben was right. Time to move! Noah, let's get packed first, and we'll order Indian for dinner."

"Yeah! Can I have saag paneer? It's my favorite!"

"Sure," Nat smiles. "Only kid I've ever heard of who willingly eats spinach."

"Whatever, Mama! How much do I need to pack?" Her son asks, moving towards his room, no questions asked, Chuck barking at his heels.

"Noah," she cautions, and he stops, turning to her and nearly tripping over the dog. "It will be like a vacation, but you can't tell anyone where we're going."

"I know, Mama. We're going into hiding like witness protection."

His comment stabs Nat in the heart, and she feels her knees go weak. Thank goodness the couch is nearby because she sinks onto its arm. Her son's life is so fucked up, and yet Noah takes every curveball into stride as though it were no big deal to hit a homerun. Even though she knows it is.

"You're going to your dad's tomorrow," Harry reminds the boy, "so you'll need clothes and jammies for tonight, tomorrow, and then four days next week. Plus always pack extra underpants, mate!"

"Got it," Noah agrees, heading into his bedroom and closing the door, leaving Chuck outside whining for a moment until Noah has pity and allows the cavachon inside.

In two steps, Harry is by Nataley's side, his hand patting her back. "Breathe, love."

Her eyes shimmer with tears. "I just..." In lieu of a complete sentence, she shakes her head.

"If you want, we can call it off right now, Nat. I'll go stay with Jeffrey or Rande."

"And break Noah's heart?"

"Otherwise, we're simply putting off the inevitable."

"No, Harry. Just no. He's so happy with you. I'm not giving that up right now. Not even for my own peace of mind."

"Got it. I'll order the Indian, and we can pick it up on the way to Gabe's. You go pack."

"I love you," she mumbles. "And I'm weary already."

Harry's voice is soothing balm to her jangled nerves. "Yes. I know. It's gonna be okay, Nat." Kissing her forehead, he moves to the drawer where she keeps the takeout menus. Sorting through them, he withdraws one, glancing it over quickly. "You okay with malai kofta? Or do you want navratan korma?"

"Korma please," Nat's voice feels distant even to her, and she tries to smile. This is so much harder than when she originally thought it through. Would she change it now if not for Noah? Withdrawing her suitcase from the closet, she starts adding clothing, folding it carefully. The honest answer is that despite the concerns and fears, she's happier with Harry than without him. Right now. But would she always feel this way?

History would suggest that the obvious answer is no.

Finishing her packing, Nataley moves to Harry's luggage, tidying the items he tends to throw in without thought. Had she forgotten anything? Mentally, she runs through her day. Smacking her forehead, she moves to the bathroom, adding toothbrushes, toothpaste, hairbrushes, and other products into a small duffel, remembering to throw in her estrogen at the last minute. Contemplating what she might have forgotten, she adds a tube of personal lubricant to the bag. Best to be prepared. But then she removes it and places it back under the sink. Lubrication has never been an issue for her. Not with Harry anyway.

Examining her room, she feels confident that if she missed anything, it will be easy to replace. Stacking her suitcase near Harry's luggage, Nataley pauses for a moment, pondering the implications of her choices.

Fuck it. She deserves to celebrate some time with her son and her second favorite human.

Resolved, she exits the bedroom to find Noah and Harry thumb wrestling. "1,2,3,4, I declare a thumb war," Noah starts, and their clasped fingers begin their battle.

"A thumb war? I thought we were picking up Indian and heading out on vacation?"

"Just a minute, Mama. I think I'm gonna beat H."

"Not a chance, little man!"

Approaching the refrigerator, Nat sorts through the perishables, putting the milk and a carton of eggs on the counter. Adding a loaf of bread to the pile, she searches for a recyclable bag to put it in.

"We can buy food, Nat," Harry comments.

"Yes, and we can take these items that will just go bad anyway. Can you grab my computer? And start loading the car please?"

"In a hurry, love?"

She shrugs, "Now that we've made the decision, I'm anxious to be out of here. You know, just in case. It's made me more paranoid. I'd like to just be gone."

Blowing out air as he bobs his head as though he understands, Harry taps Noah on the shoulder. "Come on, mate. Let's grab the suitcases."

As they pack up, she prepares the condo for their absence, turning up the thermostat so the air won't kick on and pressing the button to start the dishwasher. As the final items are carried to the car, she surveys the space. For some reason, it looks drab in the evening light, and she feels sad both to be living here still and to be leaving it temporarily. Perhaps after Harry leaves, it will be time to look for a house. Or maybe a renovation of the condo? Slap some paint on the walls, upgrade the cabinetry. Cosmetics that would make it seem like new. Maybe some new furniture too?

"Come on, Chuck!" Noah snatches the lead while the dog jumps around. Harry grabs the water and food dishes for the pup before picking up the giant bag of dog food. As he starts to exit, he glances at Nataley.

"You okay, love?"

"Yeah. Feeling melancholy." Plastering a smile on her face, she purposely brightens her voice, "What an adventure this will be! A stay-cation in Santa Monica is just what the doctor ordered."

Tilting his head, Harry examines her before grinning, his dimple deepening. "We're going to have such an amazing time, especially if Mitch and Sarah come over this weekend to play music with us. A jam session with a new guitar player who knows two chords should be painfully fun."

With a laugh, Nat picks up her purse and computer bag before proceeding to the car. A vacation might be just what she needs. As the sun sets, she steers towards Santa Monica, trusting Harry to provide directions as they get closer. On the radio, they all sing along to "This is How We Roll" by George Florida Line with the windows down and the wind blowing through the vehicle. It's a happy moment for Nataley as she leans into the song, singing at the top of her lungs, no one seeming to care that she can't carry a note.

After picking up the Indian food, they sing Josh Melton's "Staycation" and "Make Me Want To" by Jimmie Allen as the curry smell wafts through the car, making Nat's tummy growl.

"Here it is," Harry points to the alley, and Nataley pulls into the space, the car hidden from view of the main street. Examining his phone, Harry squints. "Looks like the code for the gate and the back door are the same. That makes it easier."

"This is where we're staying?" Noah asks, his disappointed voice drifting to the front seat.

"Yep. Gonna be an adventure, mate. Let's all carry in a couple of bags. That will help us get settled faster."

Each grabs a piece of luggage with Noah holding his guitar case like it's the holy grail. Harry punches in the code to the gate, and they enter an oasis of grass plus an herb garden. Chuck begins barking excitedly, chasing a squirrel towards a tree. Nataley grins, breathing deeply. "This is gorgeous!" she exhales, and Harry agrees. The patio has fairy lights hanging overhead, making the space softer and happier.

At the back door of the house, Harry inputs the six digits again, allowing them entrance into their private hotel of sorts.

"Holy shit!" Noah yells as he wanders the house. "This is so dope!"

"Language," both Harry and Nataley scold.

But the boy isn't listening to them. Taking himself on a tour of the house, Noah's voice drifts to them. "Wow!"

"Amazing!"

"So cool!"

Nataley smiles at Harry. "Seems he's happy."

"Harry! There's a piano! And a drum set!" The boy hollers from somewhere in the house.

Nataley carries the groceries in the direction of the kitchen, her eyes roaming over the wood floors. The kitchen with its white cupboards and counters seems more than utilitarian. Placing the perishables in the fridge, Nat surveys the space with an eye towards future meals. Should be perfect.

"Come eat!" she calls, setting the table with three plates and silverware. Opening the cartons of rice, saag, and korma, she inserts a large spoon in each.

"We've got our own bathroom," Harry murmurs in her ear as he approaches her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Oh, the joy!" Giggles overtake her as he places kisses along the side of her neck. "Dinner's gonna get cold."

"Noah!" Harry calls. "Food!"

The jangling of Chuck's collar announces the arrival of the boy and dog. "This place is so cool, H. There's a pink bedroom, though. I'm not sleeping in that one."

"Haha!" Harry roars. "Did you find another bedroom?"

"Yes! And it's got a guitar stand already in it, so it must be my bedroom." Flouncing to the table, he opens the foil-wrapped naan and starts to tear into it.

"Hands!" Harry reminds, as he moves to the sink and models washing every digit.

"Harry, you're such a dad," Noah groans with a grin as he rises and follows suit, wiping his hands on his shirt rather than a towel. Nat sees the pride that crosses Harry's face at her son's words. "By the way," Noah starts as he returns to the table and rips into the naan, stuffing a bite in his mouth. "Dad's going to ask about you, H. Should I tell him that you're staying with us?"

Crap. She'd just gotten used to the idea of living in someone else's house for a vacation, but the hits just keep on coming.