Tuesday, February 12, 2019

"Little Man! Give me a high five!" Mitch held his hand above his head, and Harry laughed as Noah attempted to jump to reach the giant's palm. After he had exerted maximum effort over several attempts, the boy searched the room and found a chair. Dragging it over, he climbed onto the seat and slapped Mitch's hand. "Way to be resourceful, Noah!"

The grin that crossed the boy's face would have lit up all of the shows Harry had ever performed, solo and 1D. "Thanks, Uncle Mitch. Harry said I could watch you write music today. I promise to be quiet as a mouse."

"No way, mate!" Harry ruffled Noah's hair. "You're going to have to tell us what you think of whatever we write."

Eyes wide, Noah nodded. "I can do that." Unpacking his guitar, Harry settled on the sofa, tuning the instrument.

Tyler and Tom entered the studio together, carrying equipment with them. Tyler glanced around at who was present and nodded before silently moving to the sound board.

"Oh, we have a guest I see," Tom smiled, and Harry felt relieved that his friend readily accepted Noah's presence.

"This is Noah, my --" Oops. Couldn't say the child belonged to his girlfriend. Not when they weren't telling anyone but immediate family. "--friend."

"Welcome, Sire Noah." Tom bowed, causing Noah to giggle. "We've got some snacks over here." He gestured to a small table filled with fresh fruits as well as some bags of chips. "And drinks in the fridge in the kitchen. Help yourself, kid."

Wide-eyed, Noah nodded. "Thanks."

Harry grinned at the boy fitting in so easily with these men. The studio and these three males were part of Harry's safe space, and it wasn't lost on him that Noah was now included in that list. "Noah, this is Tom. Also sometimes called Kid Harpoon."

"That's a weird name," Noah stated baldly in that way that only kids can.

Harry watched for signs that the songwriter/producer might be offended, but he simply replied, "That's why you can call me Tom."

"Uncle Tom?" Noah asked, looking between Harry and Mitch.

Laughing, Tom shrugged, "If it makes you feel better. But you can also just call me Tom."

"No, sir. That's Uncle Mitch, so you're Uncle Tom," Noah pointed between the two men.

"Does that make me Uncle Tyler?" the producer asked.

"Guess so," Noah shrugged, looking between the men in the room. None of them laughed at his assertion. Instead, they seemed to take his comment in stride as though it were normal.

"So he's Uncle Harry?" Tyler pointed to the main musician.

Noah giggled so much that he had to cover his mouth as the belly laugh burst from him. "Nooooooo. Don't be silly. That's H. He's more like a dad."

Gazes swiveled towards Harry so quickly that he ducked his head, examining his guitar much more carefully than needed.

"Really? Dad? Hmmmm..." Tom considered.

Shit. Harry didn't need the scrutiny that would come with Noah's offhand comment. Internally, his heart swelled along with his head. What he wouldn't give to be Noah's actual dad! For so many reasons, including the fact that he would be married to Nat for that to happen.

"Makes sense to me," Mitch tacked on, and the tension evaporated thankfully. "Besides, I like being Uncle Mitch. It feels like a badge of honor."

"Indeed!" Harry made the proclamation like a 'eureka' moment, and the group moved on to a new topic -- the one they had come to the studio for.

"What are we working on today, H?" Tyler inquired.

"I wrote something this past week. The lyrics anyway, and I've got some idea of the melody, but I'm not sure about it."

"Let's hear what you've got so far," Tom suggested, settling on a stool across from Harry. Noah settled his bum deeper in the seat, eyes laser-focused on Harry and Kid.

"Okay, but it's rough. Here's the catchy bit that I think is at the end of the chorus 'Lights shine and you know who you are...Do you know who you are?' But I've also got part of a verse. Listen... 'What do you mean? I'm sorry by the way. Never going back now. Be so sweet if things stayed the same.'"

"Sounds like a conversation between two people," Tom commented. "What's it about?"

"Well..." Harry glanced at Noah before he continued, "To me it's about the idea of figuring out that someone who has been in your life for a while has new meaning for you. That --" 'Nat' is where his mind wanders as he considers the inspiration for the song -- "the person could change everything about your life, but that you still hope the core of the relationship doesn't change."

Mitch's expression could only be described as stunned, as if some great secret had just been revealed. His eyes swiveled from Noah to Harry and back again. Clearly, he was connecting dots that he wasn't supposed to draw lines between. Crap.

"I see." Tom walked to where Harry was reading from his journal. "What's the 'do you know who you are' bit? I like it, and I could see it being interpreted multiple ways."

"Same," Tyler chimed in. "I like it. Could be about your time with 1D or it could be about a personal realization about yourself."

"Yes. I feel like it could be many things. In this instance, I was thinking about whether you know who you are in the other person's eyes. I mean, you might know someone for a long time but not really know what they think of you. So I was kind of asking myself, 'Do I know who I am in relation to this person?' Does that make sense?"

Tyler punched in some programming on the equipment. "Sing us a bit of the melody."

Agreeing, Harry poured his heart into the notes he'd haphazardly written in Japan as he considered his relationship with Nataley, humming along where there were no words yet.

Noah's head swiveled all around as he watched the group build the song with Mitch joining in once the group had determined a firm direction. Harry watched the subtle expressions roam across his friend's face, and he knew that Mitch suspected the song was about Nataley. When a knock came on the studio door and Jeffrey entered, Noah jumped up from where he had been sat observing the back and forth between the songwriters.

"Uncle Jeffrey!" Wrapping his arms around the man's waist, Noah held on tightly. "I'm having so much fun!"

Jeffrey took in the group, raising an eyebrow and gesturing to Noah with his head. Blandly, Harry smiled. At least he thought it had been a non-communicative look, but Jeffrey grinned and clapped Harry on the back as he passed Harry. "About time."

Shit. Nataley would kill Harry when she found out that Mitch and Jeffrey had figured out their relationship. How was Harry to keep it to himself though? It was the biggest, best news of this past year, and he wanted to shout it in the background vocals of every song for this new album. A way of saying to the world that Camille might have broken his heart, but Nataley put him back together again in a new and unique way.

As the sun set and the moon ascended, Noah yawned.

"Shit," Harry commented. "I know it's not done, mates, but I've got to get the little man home to bed. Can we work on it some more tomorrow?"

"I'm okay, H," Noah protested, his eyes beginning to droop, "Keep working. I won't be a problem." His head fell to his chest before jerking up again.

"You know what, mate? Sometimes it's good to let a song simmer, you know? We will be able to work on it tomorrow. You need sleep before school. Plus you didn't eat anything."

"But, H..." Noah halfheartedly argued, dropping the rest of what he was going to say as he rubbed his eyes.

"Time to head home, Noah. Good night everyone!" Quickly Harry packed up his guitar and journal, shaking hands with his team.

"It's a good song, H," Tom said. "Might even be the first single, don't you think?"

"Maybe," Harry murmured, one arm clenching his guitar case while the other held Noah upright. Leading them both out to the car, he wondered why Nataley hadn't texted or called. Checking his phone, he was chagrined to find that it had been set to silent. There were four voicemails and twice as many text messages. Uh oh. He was in trouble.

Steering Noah into the booster seat, Harry buckled the boy in before climbing into the driver's seat. Plugging his phone into the console, he dialed Nataley.

"What the hell, Harry?"

"I know. I'm sorry. We're on our way. My phone was off, and Noah was having so much fun that I just... lost track of time. On our way home now." He paused, but figured he might as well get it all out at one time. "Ummmm... he hasn't eaten yet."

"Harry!" she admonished.

"Nat, I'm sorry. We both were engaged in the writing session, and neither of us thought about food. There were snacks available, but he never reached for one, and I just didn't think about it."

He could feel her frustration through the airwaves. "It's too late now. He'll eat in the morning. Did he at least finish his homework?"

Harry winced. "Ummm...I didn't check."

"Uh huh. I'll see you soon." The 'click' made it clear that she had disconnected and was none too happy with him. Glancing in the rearview mirror, he saw that Noah's head was lolling to one side as the boy drifted into dreamland.

Fuck. What a great 'stepfather' he'd made tonight. Would Nat ever forgive him?

With great trepidation, he parked in front of Nataley's condo. Carefully, he gathered the sleeping Noah in his arms, juggling the heavy body so he could lock the doors. When had the child gotten so big? Or had Harry just grown weak? But he knew that wasn't the case. He could bench more than Noah weighed, but damn. The kid had grown up without permission. He needed to knock that shit off.

Harry and Nataley shouldn't wait much longer before seeking a younger brother or sister for Noah. The boy needed a sibling to annoy him. The silly smile he felt as he pictured a younger child clinging to Nat was ill-timed; it lingered on his face as she opened the condo door.

Jerking her head towards the boy's bedroom as a signal, Nataley's lips were pursed. Shit. Carefully, Harry walked to the room, cradling Noah's head while lying him on the bed before planting a kiss on his forehead. Slowly, he drew the trousers off the child, tucking his feet under the covers as he finished and pressed his lips once more to Noah's temple.

The soft snores were comforting, and Harry smiled nostalgically as Prince Chuck jumped onto the bed and twisted three times before settling with a huff at Noah's feet, quickly snuffling as the dog's breathing settled into the same rhythm as the child's.

Pivoting, Harry wasn't surprised to spy Nat leaning against the doorjamb with her arms crossed. Walking to her, he kissed each cheek softly, whispering, "I'm sorry" each time.

"Nothing to be sorry for, H," she stroked his jaw. "I assume he had fun?"

Swallowing, Harry nodded. "Yes, but time got away..." He paused as she placed her finger to his lips.

"I love you, H, and you're an amazing pretend step-father to Noah already..."

"But?"

"But, dude, you've got to start respecting his routine and his sleep patterns. If he could, he would be with you 24-7, and that's just not possible when he has school and has to go to his father's house tomorrow."

"You're right, Nat," he murmured, ashamed. "We were having so much fun that I forgot I'm like his dad when he's with me."

Her expression grew cold, and she stood up straight. "You could never be like his father."

Shit. "Of course not, Nataley. I'm not trying to take Duane's place..."

Once more, she shushed him. "Not what I meant, silly. We've got to find a better way of communicating. You're already a dad to him. Much more parent than his father has ever been, and I honestly don't think you could rival his father's idiocy even if you tried." Taking his hand, she drew him from the bedroom, closing the door behind them. "You're more parent to him than Duane ever was. I'd never change that, even if things didn't work out between us. I just wish..."

His stomach dropping, he surveyed her face. "Yes?"

Like shaking off a blanket, she shuddered. "Nothing. Want a nightcap?"

Yes, but he wanted her answer more. "I would love a nightcap, Nat."

Shifting away from him, she moved to the cabinet, and he noticed that the bottles of Casamigos and bourbon were getting low. He vowed to replace them the next time he visited. These nights with a last drink were sacred to him, and he didn't want to picture them ending due to a shortage of liquor.

Without hesitation, he walked to where she was withdrawing the glasses in preparation to fill them with ice. Pressing the front of his body to her back, he whispered in her ear, "I love you, Nat. So much. And I'm sorry I wasn't a good stepdad tonight. I promise I'll be better. And when we adopt our own, I'll be even better."

Her hands froze on their way to the shelf to grab a second tumblr.

"Don't say things like that, H," she warned.

"Like what? Nat, I swear I'm ready. I want a whole life with you and Noah. The whole deal. Forever, kids, a lifetime. I'm here for it."

Grasping the second glass, she twirled in his arms, facing him while she continued to hold the delicate glassware in her hand. "Harry..." Her cautioning tone was clear, and he ignored it.

"No kidding, Nat."

She sighed, trapped in the cage of his arms. "I love you, and I know you love both Noah and me. But you're jumping like a dozen steps ahead."

"So?"

"Listen to me, loverboy. You're an international superstar dating a divorcée with a child."

"Yeah?"

"Can we please just enjoy this time? Dating? Like a normal couple?"

"Love, there's nothing normal about us. We've been dating since we met in that parking lot at Crespi Carmelite High School."

She sighed, and he watched her carefully as she shifted in his embrace and reached for the glasses, effectively breaking the arm cage before moving nonchalantly towards the freezer where she filled each with ice cubes.

Planting his rear against the kitchen island across from her, Harry observed her as she silently filled the glasses.

"What are you afraid of?"

"My child getting lost in the shuffle of your career."

"Nat, I would never..."

"No, you wouldn't." Her words brought him some comfort. "Willingly anyway. But shit happens whether you invite it or not."

That was true, and he didn't want to consider the implications should something horrible derail his plans for the future with these two amazing people.