2.

I had to wait for my brother for over half an hour, but now he is finally here. He suggested that instead of driving to his house, we go shopping. "I think you and I will go shopping first so you can do your weekend shopping. After that we'll bring the groceries to your apartment and then go over to that Italian restaurant and discuss everything about my move at dinner." He said.

So we drove to the grocery store and he looked at my shopping list shaking his head and disposed of it. He put everything in the cart that he thought was balanced and healthy and told me, "Yibo, you should pay more attention to your eating. A healthy and balanced diet is really very important. And don't worry, I'll pay for your shopping. I guess your bank account is pretty much maxed out. The new cell phone, the repairs on the car and then there's an unspecified amount coming up for you because of a new repair."

"Thanks brother. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I know Yibo. But that's what I'm here for. It's not so bad when your brother is 10 years older and can look out for his little brother."

"That's more than looking out for me. You raised me."

"I'd do that over and over again, too. You know you're my everything. Sometimes it feels like I just became a father really young haha."

"Mhm, who knows what I would have become without you."

"Don't think about it. That's in the past. You better tell me what's new with you."

"Not much, really. Seungyoun said today that I have a crush on this car mechanic. But I'm not quite sure."

"Wait, the car mechanic you told me so much about?"

"Mmm, that's the one."

"Well to be honest, I was starting to think you had a crush on him too. You've been talking about him a lot, which is actually out of character for you. Usually you just talk so much about the author you like so much."

"Do you really think I talked about him that much? It didn't feel that way to me at all."

"Yes you have. So, do you have a crush on him now?"

"Maybe. I mean, he's at least the first guy I could imagine dating."

"Has he asked you out yet? Or you him?"

"No. And I don't have the courage to ask him either. You know me."

"I think if he's interested in you too, I'm sure he'll ask you soon. You shouldn't drive yourself crazy for now and give it some more time. I also got to know my ex at the time before I asked him out."

Since they have been a couple for 8 years, lived together for six years and even had many plans, I often wonder lately why they actually broke up. I just don't dare ask my brother about it. He always looks sad when I talk about his ex.

I have to say though, I got along well with his ex boyfriend, but I didn't really like him. He always seemed a bit like he was just pretending to be friendly. And he was very good at that. And I should know it, after all, I lived with the two of them too.

"Do you sometimes actually think about Mom and Dad and wonder how they're doing?" I wanted to know from my brother.

"Yeah, sometimes. But not very often. And when I do, I get angry right away."

"Mhm, me too. Somehow it's strange to know that our own parents live close to me, but I can't visit them."

"Why would you want to visit them? Think about how they were to us! And especially to you."

"Yeah, I know." I replied as we walked down the next hallway.

Our parents are two very cold-hearted, strict and hard-working people. They always saw my shyness as a weakness. They always believed that in order to educate me to be independent and to harden me, it was necessary for me to take care of myself. And that from a very young age. Which only made everything worse.

Only my brother saw it differently. He always said, I am not weak, I am special. Because he is 10 years older than me, he was of course always much further and more mature than me. He took care of me all the time. Made me breakfast, took me to school, picked me up, did homework with me, helped me study, did my laundry. He was like a dad should be. He was always there for me.

My brother even attended a university in Beijing because of me, so he could continue to be there for me every day. But when he confessed to our parents that he was gay when he was 20, just before his third year of college, they kicked him out. They forbade him to contact me, call me, or write to me. Still, we were seeing each other.

At some point, my parents realized that they couldn't separate my brother and me and allowed us to see each other. But he was not allowed to come home. Only once a year was he allowed to enter the house. At Christmas! He gave everyone his presents and was then allowed to listen to how disappointed our parents were and how ashamed they were of him, then he had to leave again.

When I realized that I was gay just like my brother, I talked to him about it. He told me not to tell our parents. I promised him I wouldn't. But they must have sensed it or found it out in some other way. Because when I turned 16, they packed my things and kicked me out.

My brother then took me in. He only visited our parents once more. He asked for all my documents and for a certificate that they gave him full custody and the right to determine my whereabouts. Since then, neither he nor I have seen or spoken to our parents. That is now already 7 years for me.

"Hey Yibo, are you even listening to me?"

"Oh sorry, I was in thought."

"Yeah, I noticed that. I asked if you had any fruit at home?"

"A couple of apples and two bananas."

"Then we should buy you some more fruit right away. And rice. Knowing you, you'll just be eating noodles again."

"I don't eat only noodles. At work we get a different dish every day and there's often rice in it."

"We'll buy you rice anyway. Maybe some oatmeal, too. If you're not feeling well one day, at least you can make yourself some porridge."

"If I'm not feeling well, I'll stay in bed and I certainly won't cook myself an porridge."

"Right. You call me then and I have to cook it for you."

"That's the way it looks. Your porridge just tastes the best."

My brother found a few other groceries that he said I really needed and then we went to the checkout. The cart was full and the line at the checkout was long. But fortunately, it went quickly. I guess the good woman has soon closing time and hurried therefore so.

Then after bringing my groceries to my apartment, we went to the Italian restaurant. It's right across the street from where I live. We ordered pizza and a glass of wine and discussed the details for my brother's move.

He is moving from this small village to my neighborhood. However, his new apartment is bigger and nicer than mine. But he also makes more money than I do. When I look at my bank account and think that I'm already facing another expensive repair for my car, I get a stomach ache.

I had already saved some money and wanted to travel away with Seungyoun and his boyfriend this summer. But I can forget about that now. And I don't want to ask my brother for money because of that. He always helps me financially so much. I know if I asked him, he would give me the money right away and I wouldn't even have to pay him back, but I don't want to. I would feel bad taking advantage of him like that.

"Say, didn't the new volume of that book series come out now?" My brother asked me after we discussed the moving plans.

"Mhm, I bought it on Thursday. But unfortunately it wasn't the special edition with the special cover."

"I see. I'm sure soon it will be for sale on the internet somewhere."

"I hope so. I want to have all the special covers. It looks silly when I have 10 books, 9 of which have the special cover and one doesn't."

"Yeah you may be right about that. Has anything else become known about this author? Does anyone know what he looks like now?"

"No. Unfortunately, not. And I don't think he'll ever reveal himself either. But lately he has been active again more often on his social media account. Since he's taking care of his account himself and not an assistant or the publisher, something from him comes only irregularly."

"And your message you sent him, did he reply to it?"

"No. I don't think he will either. Anyway, I haven't read on the fan boards that anyone has ever received a reply."

"A colleague of mine is also a fan of his. She told me he will probably write other books now, besides his book series?"

"Yes. But so far it hasn't been confirmed by the publisher. I mean, Zera Publishing always takes their time with that anyway, so I wouldn't be surprised if a few days before his new book comes out, they confirm it."

"You know what I've always thought?"

"No what?"

"That you adore the author way too much to be just a fan. What I'm saying is, no one knows what he looks like, and yet it almost seems like you have a crush on him."

"What, no, of course not. That would be too far-fetched."

"It's not that far-fetched. You can even fall in love with someone's voice without ever having seen him or her."

"Sure, you mean like blind people."

"Mhm. And then why shouldn't it be possible to fall in love with a stranger? Well, just based on his written words."

"So I think you have too much free time and should find a hobby. Then you won't think too much. As if I would fall in love with Wei Ying just because of his books."

"You never know little brother. And you have to admit, you're one of his hardcore fans. You're on quite a few fan boards and you're always looking for news about him. And you wrote him a long message explaining how much you adore him."

"A message he probably won't read anyway. And sure, I'm always looking for news about him. He's one of my favorite authors, after all."

We talked for a while longer, changing the subject several more times, until it was time to say goodbye. My brother now had to drive the long way home, I crossed the street and was already there.

Arrived in my apartment, I immediately ran to my laptop and checked if there was any news. And indeed, the author had been active again on his social media account. He wrote: "There will be a surprise in the coming days. I won't reveal more yet." My heart was immediately pounding with joy and excitement. I am curious to see what the surprise will be.

Tired and exhausted from the long day, I just took a shower and am now lying in my warm, cozy bed, imagining all sorts of things the author could surprise us with, while I slowly fall asleep.