Chapter 4

When I woke up this morning, I had a great idea for Zhan's garden. I immediately wrote it down and then continued working on my idea when I had lunch break. I'm really excited and looking forward to working with Zhan on and in his house for the next little while.

I even asked my boss if I could only do early shifts for the next while. He wanted to know why, of course, and I told him that I wanted to help someone renovate his house. My boss thought about it for a moment and said, "Agreed. But if he needs materials for his renovation, you bring him here."

"Of course boss, I did that yesterday too. Besides, he seems to prefer our hardware store because he can get everything he needs here and even order what we don't have."

"Good to know Yibo. I'll change the duty roster later then. It's kind of a good thing too, because Chan asked me if he could just do the late shifts for a while. You know his wife just gave birth to their baby and that's keeping them both up all night."

"Mmm, he told me. He said every night the little one is awake and as soon as it's 6 am he falls asleep peacefully."

"Yes, he tells me that too. Alright Yibo, you go back to your work and I'll change the duty roster."

"Mhm, thanks boss." I left his office and Seungyoun was already waiting for me. He's not thrilled, of course. Because normally we always have our shifts together.

I explained to him that Zhan wants to help me with my car and in return I will help him with his house and garden. "Oh wow, until yesterday afternoon you didn't even have the courage to approach him and now he's Zhan and you're even helping him with his house. Did I miss anything yesterday?"

"I already told you. I was standing by the car and he came and helped me right away. To thank him, I helped him with the shopping and afterwards we went to the café and then he took me to his house. He told me about his plans for the house and I offered to help him, because he also wants to help me with my car. It saves me an incredible amount of money. Thanks to him, I saved almost 2,500 yuan since I don't have to have my car repaired after all."

"Yes I understand all that. But how come you suddenly have no problem talking to him?"

"I don't know. My brother advised me to take my time and get to know him and then yesterday we talked about things that interested me. Then it was really easy for me to talk to him and I realized what a cool guy he is."

"That he's a cool guy, you knew that before."

"Yes, but he's also incredibly talented when it comes to crafts, and he's also very smart."

"You seem to admire him a lot."

"Mmm, I do. I think it's going to be great when he and I work on the house. And well, he's there every afternoon after work. I want to be there then, too. But I can't do that if I'm on the late shift. And I'd like to see him every day."

"So you're finally confessing that you have a crush on him?"

"I'm not confessing to anything. I like him a lot and think he's great. He's handsome and yes, he makes my heart beat faster too. But is that the reason I have a crush on him, I have yet to find out." Sure I have a crush on Zhan, but I won't tell Seungyoun that. Because then he won't leave me alone with it.

"Alright Ok. Let's get on with the business then. The goods won't unpack themselves, after all. Hey, Yibo. Don't forget that you promised Wooseok that you'd come and visit us again sometime."

"I won't forget. Now let's go before we get in trouble with the boss."

We went back to work and I couldn't wait until we finally finished our shift and I could go see Zhan. I even wrote him a message about my idea and he thinks it's great. I am really happy that he likes this idea and gives me a free hand. I also have the list for the needed materials ready.

When we finally had the end of the shift, I almost ran to my car. I wrote a message to Zhan that I am on my way and he wrote that he is happy and then I should just come into the house, he leaves the door open for me.

Arrived at the house I went in immediately. Zhan was already waiting for me with a meal. He prepared curry rice and chicken, along with various side dishes. I told him that I had already eaten at work and he replied, "You can handle that. Besides, if you work hard, you have to eat well. And eating alone is boring."

"All right. But just a little." I said and almost ate more than he did. I couldn't believe how delicious that was and how hungry I had been all at once. And even less could I believe that Zhan had cooked it himself.

While we were eating, I explained my idea to him again and also gave him the list of materials. He nodded and said, "I'll come by the hardware store tomorrow morning and get the stuff. Maybe I'll see you and you'll help me again."

"Sure, I can keep an eye on the entrance with one eye."

"How was your work today? Was there a lot to do? I mean, it's a huge hardware store, after all, and I'm sure there's always plenty to do."

"We got goods and so it was a little stressful. But we're already used to it. The goods also included new parquet flooring, which I really like. If I had a house and the money for it, I would have bought it for sure."

"Well, you can show it to me tomorrow. Maybe it will match what I have in mind for the house. And if it does, I could use it to line my living room floor and then that's finished too."

"Sure I'd be happy to show it to you. How was your day today?"

"An electrician was here today and replaced the rest of the old wiring and installed a new fuse box. That means I can finally put on my new lamps. The old wiring didn't handle it and the lamp in the living room was constantly flickering. I also started the second bathroom. I removed the old tile backsplash and re-plastered the walls."

"Then you can get on with it tomorrow. It'll go fast with you."

"It should. Actually, I wanted to do my bedroom first, since I'm currently still sleeping on the sofa in the living room. But the bathroom just wouldn't let me rest."

"I see. And that's where you' re going to put the bathtub?"

"Exactly. Then you can take a hot bath in the winter when it's really cold."

"I do that all the time, too. Fortunately, in my apartment I have a bathtub. In my brother's new apartment, there's only a shower. For him, that's also unfamiliar again. Since in the house where he lived with his ex-boyfriend, or rather still lives until this weekend, there was also a bathtub and he prefers to bathe."

"Why did they break up?" I only realized then that I was just talking to Zhan about my brother and his ex without knowing what he thinks about gays. But, he didn't seem bothered, apparently it's normal for him?

"I don't know and I don't want to ask my brother right now."

"Well, maybe he'll tell you on his own someday. You seem to have a very good relationship with your brother."

"Yes. He's 10 years older than me and he practically raised me. He's always been there for me and he also always says he's like a really young dad to me. So when I turned 16, I ended up living with him."

"It's nice that you could and can rely on your brother like that."

"Do you have any other siblings Zhan?"

"No, I don't think so. But I can't know either. I last saw my parents when I was three years old. I don't remember much about them. Everything I know about them, I really only know from my grandparents."

"So you've been with your grandparents since you were little?"

"Mhm. My parents were never really parents. They were mentally ill in my eyes. So my grandfather told me they bought a lot of expensive things and when they ran out of money, they resold the things, but for a lot less than they were worth. And they even tried to sell me when they were down financially."

"What?"

"They wanted to sell me to a couple from abroad. Fortunately, it turned out that the alleged couple, were undercover investigators. They arrested my parents and both spent a few years in prison. I came to live with my grandparents at that time. Both of them had retired early, so they had a lot of time for me. My grandfather loved to build things in the house and taught me everything. Even repairing cars. He bought scrap cars and repaired them piece by piece. I was always allowed to help him at that time and learned everything about it. My grandmother was a children's book illustrator. She drew all these colorful pictures and covers for I don't know how many children's books. Then when she retired, she wrote books herself."

"Wow, impressive. You must have had a really great childhood."

"Yeah, it was great. And what was it like with your parents? Do you like to tell me about it?"

I didn't really know what I was willing to reveal. I just tried to get as far as I dared. "Well my parents have always been cold-hearted and didn't care about me because they thought it would make me more independent and toughen me up. They always said my shyness was a weakness, that's why. Then, as you know, my brother always took care of me. But, when he confessed he was gay at the age of 20, they kicked him out of the house."

"And I suppose with you, they noticed it earlier and threw you out the door at age 16 because of that?" I was amazed that he had just come up with that. I tried hard not to let it show that I was gay.

"I, um, yeah." I didn't know what else to say.

"Don't worry Yibo. You certainly won't be judged by me. You know, my grandmother said to me back then when I confessed to her that I was into men, that it didn't matter who I was with, because the only thing that mattered was that I was happy with it. She always said #loveislove ."

"When did you realize you were gay?" I asked Zhan.

"Mhhh, I think when I was 15 or 16 years old." Replied Zhan.

We continued to talk for a while about his grandparents' reaction, how they both still stood behind him and just wished him to be happy, and he also told me that he tried to contact his parents a few years ago but he couldn't find out more than that the two of them divorced after they were released from prison. After that the two moved away and somehow no one seems to know where they moved to or if they are even still alive.