TWELVE. I CAN SEE THE PAIN IN YOUR EYES

The familiarity of the evergreen trees and the smell of the wilderness brought back horrific memories. The crunching of leaves under her feet reminded her of the hours of walking to find shelter and food. A thin layer of sweat coated her skin and caused her hair to stick to the back of her neck. Mia traveled alongside Carl and Hershel, searching for a sight of walkers. The survival instincts she gained led her to keeping the knife she had in her hand the entire time. A silencer was attached to the end of it.

She glanced over at Carl, seeing him search every part of the forest with the gun held tightly in his hands. "Are you worried about her? Judith?" She questioned.

His icy eyes bored into hers. "She's just a baby." He stated simply but it meant so much.

She gave him a half smile. "Beth's taking good care of her. She doesn't ever let her out of her sight. Trust me, she's in good hands."

Even though he was still unconvinced, he nodded.

Mia watched Hershel as he picked berries from the bushes. "What are they for?" She asked the man.

"My wife used to make tea with them. They remind me of her."

She smiled. "I love that." She then noticed his limp. "If you don't mind me asking, how did you get that limp?" Her curiosity was getting the best of her.

She followed him when he made his way to another bush. "When we first got to the prison I was bitten on the leg by a walker. Rick and the others cut it off the stop it from spreading. They saved my life." He explained to her.

"They're good at that." Mia nodded and then smiled.  "Your daughters are good at it. Maggie saved me."

Hershel patted her on the shoulder. "And I'm glad she did." He stated. He turned to Carl and saw the gun in his hold. "When did your dad give it back?"

"Yesterday. After everything happened."

"You've grown a lot these past few months. There's a responsibility about you. I think it's done you some good to step back."

"Yeah. It was all right. Can't be like that all the time." The teenager boy stated.

"I would have been fine on my own. It's peaceful out here." Hershel stated while looking around.

Mia almost scoffed. It was anything but peaceful. But she kept her mouth shut and circled the woods, keeping watch.

"These last couple of days, we might be safer outside those walls than in."

"I don't know about that." She accidentally slipped out. She felt Carl's eyes on her.

Then, the blue eyed boy saw something in the distance and he leaned forward. "No, we're not." He read her mind and pointed his gun in the direction where he was looking.

Mia went and stood beside him. She saw that he was looking at an old tent that was sitting in the middle of the woods. Carl slowly walked forward with his gun held up. She gripped her knife and followed behind him along with Hershel. The tent was tattered and dirty and looked like no one was in it. Then, a faint growling noise filled her ears and Mia shifted her to a tree that was a few feet away. A walker was slumped against it with its bottom half missing.

Panic uprose in her bones and the noise plagued her ears. Upon hearing their movements, the walker snarled and turned its head in their direction. It reached its hand out slowly even though they were multiple feet away. Mia's breath hitched in her throat and she froze. She felt her hands began to shake.

"Let's wrap this up." Hershel declared out loud.

More snarling came from behind them and Mia whirled around to see another walker appear from behind a tree. Its leg was caught in a bear trap. She began to breathe heavy and she nearly dropped the knife she was holding. The closer the walker got, the more she stepped back in fear.

"Mia." Carl spoke and he pushed her behind him slightly. He walked forward again and raised his gun to shoot it.

Hershel stopped him before he could. "Don't, you don't need to."

After a minute, Carl obeyed and lowered the gun.

"It was so peaceful."

"It was. Can't be like that all the time."

He noticed the fearful look in Mia's eyes as she looked at the walker. "Mia?" He said her name. She didn't look at him and still looked at the walked that was slowly walking toward them. "Mia. Mia!"

When his voice raised, she snapped out of it and looked at him. "I'm sorry." She muttered and walked away from them.

Carl's stare lingered on her back before he hurried to follow her. When he got close enough, his hand brushed against her forearm. "Hey, are you okay?"

She gulped. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to freeze up."

"It happens sometimes. It's okay."

Mia shook her head. "No, it's not. You can't freeze up out here. You have to keep moving." She uttered, still shaken up.

Carl studied her. Noticing the way she was blinking like crazy and how her mouth moved like she was chewing on her tongue. She looked like a deer caught in headlights with those big eyes and trembling hands. Her short hair stuck the sides of her face and neck from how hot the air was. Staring at her only made him want to figure out more about her but he didn't want to push her. Not until she was ready.

Mia couldn't stare into Judith's glimmering eyes without thinking about Paris when she was a baby. She never cried or threw a fit. She was always happy. Paris never argued unless she was tired. She loved to read and color. She was funny. She loved to play outside. The first time Mia held her, she was sos cared to drop her. Now all she wished for was that the tiny baby she was holding was her sister.

Tears slipped down her face. Judith gurgled and gnawed on her finger tips. Sensing her sadness, she laid her head on her chest. Mia held the baby close to her as she leaned her back against the wall of the office. A sob escaped her lips.  She pressed her hand to the back of Judith's head and caressed what little hair she had. It hurt so bad that Mia wished to end it all. Like she wanted to do in the woods. It was too much to handle on her own.

"Mia?" Beth came into the office and watched the crying girl cradle the baby in her arms. Her heart felt heavy.

Mia quickly wiped her tears. "Beth, you scared me."

She shut the door and walked over, sliding down the wall beside her. She grabbed one of Judith's hands.  "When I left her with you and Michonne, I came back and saw you both crying. It's like you understood each other. Did you lose someone, Mia?"

Judith shuffled in her hold. Faint gurgling noises came from her. Mia rubbed her back. "I had a sister and brother. My sister was nine when the apocalypse hit. My father packed us up and we left our home in Texas. One day when we were driving, she started to cry because she was really tired and cranky and my father couldn't handle it. When he wasn't paying attention, a walker walked in the middle of the road and he swerved to miss it but the car flipped."

She paused and let out another shaky breath. Beth grabbed her hand. "I passed out from the impact but when I woke up, my brother and I hid in the backseat so the walkers couldn't see us. My father and sister were thrown out of the car." More tears escaped her eyes. "We had to watch the walkers eat them from the floorboard of the car."

Beth's eyes filled with tears. "Oh Mia, I'm so sorry."

"I just see them everywhere. I see her so much in Judith and it hurts." Mia carried on and glanced at the beautiful baby in her arms.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"I used to think I would be alone forever. I thought I was gonna die out there. But then Maggie found me and gave me a second chance." She glanced at the blonde. "You all did. Thank you for giving me another chance to live."

Beth smiled. "I'm happy we did."

Mia leaned her head against her shoulder and Judith laid her head on her chest again.

Carl despised reading. He always did. Comic books were easy for him to understand. As he grew up in an apocalyptic world, eduction was something that wasn't provided. But he made a deal. He sat alone in an empty room with Little Women in his calloused hands. He absolutely did not want to read the girlish book and he hated every second of it. But it was hers.

"I did not think you would actually read it."

Carl lifted his head and saw her cheeky smile. He rolled his eyes. "Go away."

"I guess my charming ways worked?"

"You're not funny."

"I think I'm hilarious." She smirked and entered the room. "So, what do you think?"

Carl studied the front of the book. "This Laurie dude seems like a real asshole."

Mia covered her mouth with her fist to hide her laughs. "Wow, not the answer I was expecting but. . . you're not wrong."

"I just don't get it. Why did they think the only way for a woman to get by in life is to marry?" His curious mind wondered.

"Because that's how things were," she answered. "They didn't have a lot of money back then. A lot of families believed that marrying rich was the only way to raise a family."

Carl pulled a face. "That's weird."

"Absolutely!" She chuckled. "Just keep reading. It gets better, I promise."

"Yeah, okay." He muttered. "How's the comic coming along?"

"It's barbaric!"

"It's very barbaric." He said through a chuckle. "I didn't think you were actually gonna read it."

She rolled her eyes. "Hilarious."

He faked a bow. "Thank you."

"You're annoying."

"I take pride in it."

"I think I liked you better when you didn't talk to me."

Carl held his hand over his heart. "Ouch."

Mia shoved his shoulder, making him laugh again, and she smiled.

"Carl? Carl?"

At the sound of his dad's voice, Carl's eyes went wide. "Dad?" He jumped out of his seat.

"Carl!" Mia shouted and chased him out the room. The teenagers found Rick Grimes standing in the middle of the dark hallway.

"You okay?" His son exhaled.

"I was gonna ask you that."

"We're fine."

"No one's sick? You didn't have to do anything?"

"Haven't had to use my gun, dad." Carl answered again.

"And Judith?"

"She's with Beth." Mia spoke up, making Rick look at her over Carl's shoulder.

He nodded. "That's good." Rick took the large bag off his shoulder and dropped it to the floor. "We found some food in the run." He slid it toward the teens. "There's a bunch of fruit leather in there. Have everybody brush their teeth after."

Carl slung the large bag over his back. "Can we come out soon?" He asked with a hopeful voice.

"Not just yet."

Mia sighed to herself.

"Dad, I was around you when you were in the middle of it. So was Mia and we were around Patrick," Carl argued. "I didn't get it. I can help you."

"Thanks, but I need you to stay here. I need you and Mia looking out for everyone." Rick dismissed his son's argument.

"I will. But, dad, you can't keep me from it."

"From what?"

"From what always happens."

It went quiet for a minute. Mia looked between the father and son and suddenly felt awkward. Like she was invading a private conversation. Rick nodded. "Yeah, maybe. But I think it's my job to try."

With that, he left the two teens in the middle of the hall. Carl kept his eyes on him as he exited the building. Mia reached forward tugged in his arm gently. "Come on." They began to walk back to the children. She looked his way. "He's right, you know?"

Carl's eyes met hers. "What do you mean?"

"He's your father. It's his job to protect you."

His lips gaped apart as he felt an argument come. But he closed them again, not wanting to. He just sighed. "Yeah, I know."

It went silent again.

"Mia?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you tell me what happened to your family?"

She gave him a half smile. "I will. Not just yet, though."