I couldn't believe my eyes. What I've seen today is unlike any experience I've ever experienced since that day. It's like everything my life lead up to since that day has finally been revealed.

My heart couldn't handle it. I've rn ever felt this weak before. I've rn ever felt like I couldn't move, or couldn't breath. I've never focused on the sound of my heartbeat so much having to make sure it wouldn't stop any second. I've never felt so miserable, I didn't even know this was a feeling. I wasn't even in any physical pain, yet this moment destroyed me more than when I busted my head open and was at the hospital, or a cloned a 15 foot long tree in long forest and fell from the top. I couldn't take this.

I felt weak.

I stubbed a little, and then I finally realized that Chris was still here too. I looked at him from the corner of my eye, and all I saw was a blurry figure. I wouldn't allow myself to look at him anymore than that, because I knew I would break seeing him like that. And I needed to stay strong so he could too.

I knew I shouldn't do this, I knew this was bad for me, but after all these years, I needed to see my mothers face again. Even if blackness consumed me after I did so, I had to, I needed to.

It seemed as so if Chris felt the same because he hasn't torn his eyes off of the bodies since he got here. I made my decision. Forcefully I tore my eyes off the white tiled floor, and my eyes slowly started to creep into the closet on to the pool of dried blood. I've seen blood before, maybe even more than that, but knowing it was my mother's and Chris' parents blood hit different. It changed everything.

There they hung, tied by a heavy rope. It was tight around their neck, their skin almost gone, seeping into the holes of their skull.

I looked at my mother's hands, the same hands she'd caress my cheeks with when I couldn't fall asleep at night. The same hands that fed me apple slices. They looked exactly like they were, lifeless bony, decapitated.

The same destruction had been done to Chris' parents, and I know he was thinking the same as me. He had it worse of course. Loosing my mother in the way I did had destroyed half of me, it changed who I was and who I was going to become, but Chris, he lost both of his parents. I couldn't even imagine what was going through his head right now.

Then I heard a sob. I didn't want to, I didn't need to, he didn't need to. I knew it wasn't good to keep I. Your emotions, but at the moment it was too much, there were too many emotions to spill out, especially in our life right now.

"Chris get out! Get out, out out out, now!!" I didn't know what else to say or do. This was all I could do for him right now because at this moment I was broken too. But I had to help him. "I'm calling dad, go." I tried to spit out in a sob, I couldn't do anything else.

He didn't move, he looked.....paralyzed so I started pushing him out instead. I hit his back to make him move and he barley moved but he did, because he was weak.

He stumbled out of my room, and I followed after him closing my door shut with a loud thud. And then I broke down in sobs, and fell down against my door.

When I was finally in tact I pulled the phone out of my pocket whilst dropping it twice and called dad.

"Dad!" I sobbed as soon he picked up.

He knew I didn't cry.

2 hours later.

There were police everywhere, it was nothing I wasn't used to but this time it was different.

I sat outside in the cold air. Winter was coming around, it had already snowed twice. I rocked myself back and forth on the grass as red and blue lights flashed in my perpetual vision.

All I could focus on right now, was the cold condensed air my mouth was breathing out.

I couldn't even imagine how I would look to the people watching. Puffy red eyes, snot filled nose, cracked bloody lips. If I was amongst those people who got to watch this crime scene unfold, I would've been there calling the girl or boy who played my role; weak. I would've been disgusted at how visible, transparent, emotional they were. But now....

I was zoned out when I saw something moving. It looked like a figure, but they were hiding in the bushes. Suddenly my senses arose and I wasn't zoned out anymore. Despite the fact I was in my spongebob pj's, I could still fight like a true women.

I stood up, and before I took off in that direction, I made sure no one was here to stop me.

My bare feet made soft thudding sounds while they hit the freshly cut grass. I refused to acknowledge the fact that they were trembling at the moment.

They were leaning against the tree, but my head started spinning so I couldn't see them clearly. Whoever they were, they were shirtless and their perfect set of toned, tan abs were on display. Or as much of a display it can be with my head spinning.

I looked straight ahead and tried to focus, all I could see were a pair of nipples, presumably belonging to a guy. Or maybe I was imagining them. Were nipple hallucinations a side affect of my teenage hormones?

Suddenly I felt a firm yet velvety hand touch my cheek.

"Fuck are you ok?" A deep voice spoke that sent my stomach into in overdrive; exactly the way it shouldn't. I instantly recognized him.

I felt immediate anger, this was all his family's fault. Everything my life had come to was their fault. Today is their fault. He was apart of the reason, there's was no one else who could have done it. And here he was acting like nothing happened, that he didn't do anything?! The audacity.

"Don't touch me!" I slurred, my tears were affecting my vision, while their salty taste poured into my mouth and seeped into my tastebuds.

"I know you're hurting, listen to me." He pleaded, but I didn't want to. I looked away, and I hadn't realized that he got closer, and closer until he was only 2 centimeters away from me.

Usually I'd push him away, or have an insult ready to come out, but right now I was weak, and Alex was right there witnessing me at my low point.

"Baby cakes you're not okay, let me take care of you." He softly whispered into my ears. His pale green eyes hooded, eyelashes creating a thick barrier between the moonlight and his undeniably beautiful orbs.

"No. Get off my property." I said monotone. I don't want to think about him right now, he was corrupting my mind, and I didn't want that. It was a bad decision on my part to say that because next thing i know; I'm flipped around and slammed against the tree, with Alex pinning my hands above my head, nose touching mine completely.

Oh shīt.

—-A/N—-

Hey, guys for the ones that are still here. So, tons have people have been asking me to update and I felt so bad not doing it for such a long time, I have no excuse expect for the fact that I just didn't want to write recently. But I'm back now and I'll be back to writing. I know I left you guys at a cliff hanger haha sorry about that 😂 but I can say that I'm also a better writer now I think, so that's the good thing.