I'M TIIIIIREEED! [runs around room] 

I lack coordination in the typing skill deal squiggly woot woot cheese. 

I lack hmm.. what's the word? I lack... sense? I lack... ya that?

New chapter. Hope you enjoy it. The writer is DOWN!

Thanks you guys for all the support, the vote the comments, everythiiing I LOOOVE YOU (and no I am NOT drunk) 

You guys rock! You're the best! I might not say it enough but I keep on writing because of you, otherwise this story never would have gone that long. I would have gotten tired of it a long time ago. So THANKS! Because I actually like where this is going! lol

Anyway hope you enjoy this! :D 

I'm going to sleep. 

I'm a little hungry though. Lunch time? (It's 10h30 AM. I still haven't gone to sleep yet. LOL) 

It's probably full of mistakes but I'm sure you'll forgive me right? ;P

Read and enjoy! :D

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"There's no way in hell I'm doing this!" I told Josh for the twentieth time.

"Come on! We'll put a really thick wool blanket over the barbed wires and you won't hurt yourself when you climb up"

"Nah ha! Forget about it" I pouted, crossing my arms over my chest.

Blake had gone god knows where to "take care of the security cameras" and now I was left alone with Josh who wanted me to climb over the fence, with barbed wires on top and then open it from the other side.

No way in effing hell!

"Come on! Don't you have any sense of pride?" Josh grinned.

"No not at all, but I do have common sense and common scene is telling me you're an IDIOT!"

"If you do it I'll let you ride my dragon!" Josh grinned even wider, lighting his face by placing the flashlight under it making him look creepy.

I rolled my eyes "Ride your own dragon!"

Josh burst laughing but didn't say anything in return because we saw Blake coming back.

"So you took care of it?" Josh yelled.

I wanted to cover his mouth with my palm. Why did he have to be loud? I mean did he WANT us to get into trouble? If he got us arrested I would murder him!

"Yes, I mooned the camera and then threw rocks at it, screaming like an old lady. That's what you usually do right?" Blake smirked, walking up to us.

Josh faked tears "My little boy is growing into a man!"

"You really are a girl Josh!" I stated, getting a little annoyed.

It was probably the whole being scared shitless of getting caught that made me so tense.

"Ya well you're a girl too for not wanting to climb up the fence!" Josh pouted.

"Hmm... That's not really an insult Josh. I'm kind of a girl, you know?" I informed him.

Josh frowned "Blake, take notes, I need to find insults for girls alright?"

Blake just sighed in discouragement.

"So? What's going on now? Because I'm NOT" I narrowed my eyes at Josh at that part "climbing over the fence and over the barbed wires"

"Why the hell would you do that? We just need to walk around, over there" Blake snorted, pointing back to where he came from and Josh got into a fist of laughter at my shocked expression.

DUMBASS!

I kicked Josh's ass. Literally. And then I lined a bunch of profanities at him, while he just laughed more.

"I don't enjoy his presence anymore Blake. I think I'm going to switch back to you" I whined and Blake's face shone with a smug grin.

"Don't say that out loud! You want him to stalk you more than he already does?" Josh warned as the three of us made our way towards where Blake had just came from, while Blake dragged the big black bag on his back.  

It was dark but there were city lights around lighting us, so the flashlights weren't essential. We were in what looked like an old industrial place. There was a passing rode close by so people would see the sign but the buildings around were abandoned, the windows broken at some places, or covered with wood boards. The place just screamed horror movie setting.

"But she stalks me too so I'm not THAT pathetic" Blake pointed out, switching the bag to his other shoulder.

Josh started to walk faster, leading the way and I caught up with Blake, walking by his side "Alright then, you're both pathetic. Better?"

"But at least WE admit it" Blake smirked.

Fine, don't include me in the conversation, I thought. Why did they keep doing that? That was almost as annoying as when they spoke a foreign language. Almost.

Josh stopped walking and turned around, pointing the flashlight straight to his face, blinding the both of us and Blake covered his eyes with his forearm.

"Lower that down dumbass!" Blake hissed but Josh didn't move.

"What was that supposed to mean?" Josh just asked, his voice sounding worried.

"That means stop blinding me with your god darn flashlight!" Blake growled.

"I meant the part before!" Josh almost whined.

Blake sounded confused when he talked again "The admitting thing?"

"What are you implying? This was directed towards me to make me feel bad about myself because I'm not admitting something right?" Josh asked finally lowering the flashlight and then looked between the two of us worriedly "What are you two on about?"

"Josh stop being so thick! Who's the girl you like!" I just blurred. I didn't like standing here, motionless in the middle of nowhere, when some hungry Rottweiler could run after us.

Josh narrowed his eyes at us "Oh so that's the only reason why you took me out tonight right? Let's make fun of good'old Josh to make ourselves feel better. We don't ALL need to be in love" he said wiggling the flashlight between me and Blake.

Did that meant what I think it meant?

Blake smirked "It's a hooker right?"

"Miss PUSS!" Josh whined "How many times do I have to tell YOU! Miss Puss is my only love! And the hot chick in the Ring that kills everyone. I like her nice hairstyle." he added thoughtfully.

"Aww Josh come on! You're no fun!" I informed him.

Josh pointed me "Don't mess with me! I'm dangerous! I killed my Tamagotchi!"

Blake shook his head beside me, making a clicking sound with the side of his cheek "You didn't even have one!"

"You know what Blake? Talk to the hand!"

That just made Blake and I burst laughing.

"Look, just the way you're reacting right now means there's a girl. And you obviously need to talk about it." I smirked a little too.

"I don't enjoy it when you two team up against me!"

"Come on, blur it out Josh!" Blake urged but Josh just turned around and walked towards the sign.

We followed him and Blake called after him "Was it the girl you kept telling me to look at and that I missed the other day"

"No, I have a "Don't go out with a girl that has a family member that died right after saying "Hey y'all watch this!" policy" Josh yelled back, not turning his head

I frowned looking over at Blake confused "Trailer trash kind of girl" he just mouthed and I went "Ooooh" but silently too.

"You know what scratch that, it would be AWE-SOME to have someone die that way!" Josh went on, still walking, ignoring us.

"Come on Josh, spill the juice. We know you want to!"

"I have nothing clever and witty to reply to you guys so I'm just going to go on and ignore you but you both can keep on watching me. I might do a trick."

"Josh is cute when he's all full of love feelings" I told Blake in a mocking voice.

"I know right. Just wait he's going to start forwarding us emails with stories of dudes taking their helmet off to save the girl instead of just cutting the engine to stop the motorcycle because it says that if he does the girl he likes will dance for him on Toccata and Fugue in D minor"

"The creepy organ song?" I asked.

"Ya Josh has creepy fantasies" Blake laughed mischievously.

Josh abruptly turned around, pointing us and then started to rant really REALLY fast without taking a breath "Look okay, I just. I had seen her many times but saw she was younger than me and I shouldn't go after her, so I just ignored her because I'm smooth that way, but she was still hot but I put her in the "enjoy form a distance" category. But the other day, I was in the bathroom washing my hands, the dude bathroom, I would like to point this out, and she walked in, said she couldn't care to wait to go in the ladies one because all the girls seem to have the need to take a crap on there and she was in a hurry and next thing I knew I was making out with her. Making out with strangers in bathrooms. I felt like Blake." He grinned smugly at that one "Anyway, I gave her my number but she never called. I don't even know her name. It doesn't matter though. I'm just going to go on with my life. S'not like I'm a love sick puppy who can't move on. I don't even know the girl. I mean she kisses REALLY well... but I don't even know her name, so no point really."

"Do you want a hug Josh?" Blake offered, a tiny smirk at the corner of his mouth appearing.

Josh glared "How about a nice cup of shut the fuck up."

Blake chuckled "Aww come on! You ALWAYS make fun of me! It's MY turn!"

"Doesn't work that way. It's a one way thing. I can make fun of you but you can't of me. I'm too awesome. But you're not enough"

Blake just shook his head slightly.

"Anyway! We're here to freaking vandalize public properties. Not talk about my feelings! Feelings are for wusses. Feelings are for you Blake"

Blake groaned "Thanks"

"Anytime!" Josh answered with a grin.

The sign that the boys had finally chosen to give a nice "make-over" was an assurance add. After a lot less than an hour, they were quite efficient when they worked together and didn't argue, it now looked like a condom add.

"How does it LOOK?" Josh screamed again.

"It awesome, simply AWE-SOME, now please, LET'S GO!" I begged.

I had heard at least three cops' sirens drive on the main road close by. And I REALLY didn't want to go for a ride in their car.

I had stayed down, while the boys had climbed up, to stand guard, but the truth is I would have just been useless up there. They knew what they were doing. I wouldn't have.

"You sure it doesn't need a little-" Josh went on but I cut him.

"It's perfect, simply stunning, I would marry it if I could, now get down!"

Blake wasn't saying anything; he was just laughing and picking up the stuff, putting it back in the bag, still up beside the sign with Josh. That sign was at least twenty feet high. There was a latter on the side to climb it up.

I had noticed that Blake always seemed quieter when he was with Josh. Why was that?

"Well now that our work is done, there is no reason to live anymore." Josh yelled.

"Yes, our purpose is now achieved. Life holds no meaning now" Blake added dramatically.

I rolled my eyes at them "If you guys want to jump, just do it quickly"

Maybe I shouldn't be saying that. With them you never knew...

"Goodbye cruel world!" they both said at the same time, walking to stand closer by the edge of the sign.

They weren't actually going to jump right?

"Any last words boys?" I asked them.

"Ya." Josh answered "If you force sex on a hooker, is it rape or shoplifting?

"That's a question!" I informed him. A really stupid, but kind of good one.

"That I would like to have the answer to before I die!" Josh added.

"Can't help you, sorry. Blake, any last words?" I asked.

"Yep! Lexi?"

I frowned for a second "What?"

"Rak mak mak"

Before I could ask what the hell Josh slapped Blake on the back of the head so hard it almost made him fall off the sign and I yelped in fright but Josh caught him by the arm before he fell.

Both Blake and I were screaming "what the hell"s at Josh but Josh was screaming "You dumbass!" at Blake.

"What the hell was that for!?" I kept screaming.

"He said something completely inappropriate alright!"

"Shut up Josh" Blake groaned but I ignored it.

"You didn't need to almost KILL him!" I screamed back at Josh.

We were all obviously going to argue more if it hadn't been for the light that came flashing from a distance, but that obviously was coming our way.

Shit! We'd get caught. We were in crap!

DEEP DEEP CRAP!

Blake and Josh were down the sign in light speed and without any word, Blake grabbed my hand and we were all running away to get back to the car and I swear to god I'm sure I heard dogs.

The ride back to Josh apartment was normal, if you defined Josh making a list of his top favourite movies of all time, which all seemed gross and scary and quite frankly hard to believe that someone actually thought about any of those, as normal.

At one point I asked him "Why the hell do you listen to such WEIRD movies? Do all your favourite movies need to have disturbing plot and highly inappropriate sex scenes?"

"You know what? I actually hate sex in the movies. Tried it once, the seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well it really chilled her mood." Josh grinned.

I sighed "Wow!"

"Thanks" he grinned wider.

Blake didn't comment. As usual.

I still wondered about what he had said and that had made Josh almost kill him.

"Are you proud of yourself when you say those little sentences?" I asked Josh.

"Greatly"

I shook my head "You're hopeless."

"Awesome is the word you're looking for Dumbstick"

"Dumbstick?"

"Ya I don't know, I'm getting tired..." he trailed laughing.

"Good thing we've arrived" Blake announced.

"YAY! Alright, I'll let you two party poopers together. Have fun" Josh said as Blake parked in front of his house "Awesome Josh needs some awesome sleep."

"Bye!" I said and then, right before Josh closed his door he turned and look at Blake "Remember kids, it will be sweeter if you wrap your Peter" and he just grinned and closed the door, while I just rolled my eyes and Blake covered his face with his palm.

"Josh freaks me out a bit sometimes" I told Blake while I slipped in front to the passenger seat and Blake started to drive again.

"Tell me about it. So. Eager to get back home?" Blake smirked a little.

"Why thank you for the nice reminder!"

That little bitch, I had completely forgotten about the Tyler Vanessa incident!

Ugh!

NO mental images please!

"And think about how awkward it's going to be when you see them again!" Blake went on, his whole face holding a mischievous edge.

I narrowed my eyes at him "I will punch you" I warned.

"You always do" Blake snorted.

"Oh damn it... I don't wanna go home. Why don't you just drop me off on the side of the road and I'll go for a road trip or something and come back home when Tyler goes to college"

I was actually worried. I mean I kinda had walked on my brother and best friend doing it. What do you say after that? "So you guys had fun?"

"Poor Pumpkin!" Blake laughed "A little traumatized, aren't we?"

"A LITTLE? A whole effing lot actually!"

"Well if you want you can come over to my place. I actually have a home theatre you know. I could make you watch Human Centipede" Blake smirked.

And then my brain went into over thinking mode.

It was almost three in the morning. I was alone in with Blake. He had just offered me to come to his house. At freaking three in the morning. I had spent a good part of the night thinking about just cornering him or something. I liked him. Actually really liked him. But I didn't know if he liked me.

But he had just offered me to come to his house at three in the morning.

And because I didn't want to say goodbye and the night to be over yet, because I wanted to spent almost every waken and unawake hours with Blake and even if I sounded like a goddamn stalker when I said that, I looked at Blake and told him "Fine but we are NOT watching Human Centipede. Unless you pay me."

"Alright, no Human Centipede" Blake laughed and kept driving.

When we got to his house, well scratch that, to his freaking mansion, Blake parked in front and then I got out and was about to walk to the front door but Blake shook his head at me.

"What?" I asked.

"I don't have the front key. I sort of never come through it that way when I get home late. I'd wake everyone up" Blake explained, while walking towards the side of the house.

"So what? You sleep on the grass?"

"I climb up to my room, I have a balcony you know."

Alright maybe this had been a bad idea. But Blake was sort of my ride home.

For the hundredth time tonight I asked myself "What have I gotten myself into?"

"I'm not climbing up to your room Blake"

"Why not? I climbed up to yours!"

"But you're a fool." I smirked a little.

"That's it! You're the one sleeping on the couch tonight!" Blake smirked and I slapped his arm playfully while he just gave me one of his dimple smiles and I repeated myself that it was the smart thing to do to not just throw myself at him.

I followed Blake around the house and then we reached a part that was completely covered with windows and there was a portico door in glass.

And there were a few lights inside, shining weakly. And it was a freaking indoor pool.

I tried not to scowl. He had a freaking indoor pool TOO!

"You won't need to climb up my window. Happy?" Blake smirked at me while sliding the door open.

Alright I knew where to go if I wanted to do a break and entering.

"You're aware that I hate you right now. Right? Because this is totally unfair!" I told him, pointing to the pool.

His house was already freaking out of this world and now he had this huge pool that look like those roman bath type of things with every wall around white and there was a mini bar on the side and when I raised my head I saw that the ceiling was covered in glass so that we could see the stars through it.

Ya I really hated him.

There was a mischiefing glow to Blake eyes before he spoke "Oh just wait. I'm going to give you a good reason to hate me"

And before I could ask what he meant or even frown or roll my eyes, Blake grabbed me around the waist and threw us both into the pool.

When my head resurfaced, gasping for air I automatically lunged at Blake and sunk him down as deep as I could, dunking us both.

That freaking IDIOT!

I yelled that out loud for his benefit, trying not to choke on water.

"You are SUCH an ASS!" I yelled again, not thinking about the fact that it was three in the morning and there were probably people sleeping close by. I hoped this place was soundproof.

Blake was laughing and coughing water and sinking down, and bringing me with him deep under water and I tried to wriggle out of his hold, fighting against him but I had a little "I'm in his arm" swooning moment. A very little one thought. Because the damn prick was kinda almost drowning me after all.

Blake finally let go of me though and I stopped trying to drown him because with his hysterical laughing he could ACTUALLY drown, so I settled on just screaming at him.

"What's wrong with you! You meany mean meaner!"

And then he smirked and said "Je suis mauvais. Je noircirais tes jours avec mes nuits! Car c'en est trop enfin, ton âme est belle et haute et pure, et si je suis méchant, est-ce ta faute?"

And that got me even more pissed "BLAKE! You are SO not using foreign language to get out of trouble! I want a translation and I want it now!"

"Or else?" Blake smirked a little.

"I tickled you until you drown you bastard!"

"Alright alright. I basically said "I'm bad. I'll darken your days with my nights. Your soul is beautiful and pure and I am mean, is it your fault?" I'm quoting Hernani. I quote a lot you know. Around you that is. You won't see me quote Victor Hugo on the football field." Blake explained, a smile forming on his lips and I don't know why maybe he was a big magnet or something but as he had been speaking I had gotten closer to him and now we were barely more than one foot away and I could feel Blake hand tugging on the side of my baggy shirt, even though we were moving in the water, our feet kicking so our head could stay out because we were in the deep section of the pool and our feet didn't touch the bottom.

And what he had just said was beautiful and it was hard to stay mad at him because he had translated, finally, and it was actually nice.

And because I liked Blake.

"That's really what you said, not something about me being an idiot or something?"

"Yes. No lie. Act three, scene four. I wouldn't say you're an idiot. Unobservant, yes. Quick to judge, yes. Overthinker, yes. Idiot, no."

"Why thank you" I say rolling my eyes at him, but my hands were reaching for his shirt too.

I wanted to bring him closer to me, I wanted to press myself into his arms, feel his warmth, feel his lips against mine again. Just being this close to him was almost intoxicating, yet I wanted to be closer and closer.

Blake, Blake, Blake, Blake, Blake.

My mind was completely filled with him.

"You should take it as a compliment, it can be amusing sometimes. Freakishly angering at times, but amusing at others" Blake added and the space between us was smaller and I could feel our legs touching now and then as we kept our head out of the water.

Good thing it was heated.

"I'm going to just ignored it. But I'm not ignoring the other foreign language stunt of the night! What does "Rak mak mak" means!"

Blake smirked widely "Sorry, that one, I'm not telling"

"Obscenity?" I inquired.

"Stupidity" Blake just answered.

"Which language?"

"If you can find it, I'll tell you what it means"

"French?" I tried

"No."

"Spanish?"

"Nope"

"Freakish Chinese!" I groaned, raising my eyes to the ceiling.

Blake laughed "Try again!"

I groaned again "I hate you!"

Blake just smiled "I love you too"

"You know what? I'm going to tell it to you a thousand times that way if it's an insult you'll just finally freaking comply and tell me what it means"

"Well you just go ahead Pumpkin. I'm not the one who is going to stop you!"

"Ugh! Damn you're annoying! You know, with Josh you were actually kinda quiet, and quite frankly not annoying! Why is it you're only not annoying and quiet when Josh's there hmm?"

"Because Josh knows me. He knows who I am, what I think, and I'm myself around him. You know, the lonely artsy kid in his book, that's still me, that's mostly me. Can't really get out of it. I was always a quiet boy when I was younger. When I'm around Josh it just resurfaces I guess"

Oh god... how had we gotten so close. Our nose were almost touching, I could smell his minty breath and now I had no doubt that Blake was holding both of my sides, keeping me close and I wanted to close the distance between us so bad it hurt, actually hurt.

I closed my eyes

Did it hurt him too?

I could close the distance so easily. I could. I wanted to.

But what would happen next? If the feelings weren't reciprocated?

Even if they were, I could be patient. I wanted to do things right with Blake. I cared that much about him that I if we ever had a chance together, if he could ever just like me, just a little, and if there could ever be anything between us, I wanted to do it right. I didn't want to regret things and I didn't want to rush anything.

Blake was that important.

So I opened my eyes again, and swam away from Blake, his hands softly letting go of me and then I hoist myself out of the pool while Blake just stayed at the exact same spot.

I turned around and looked at him "I don't intentionally want to have you bring up innuendos, but you got me all wet again you asshole" I said, my voice playful.

Blake laughed, but smiled back, a real genuine smile.

Why was he so beautiful?

"Check beside the door, there might be a bag there" Blake said and I did has he asked frowning. There was indeed a bag, sport bag kind of thing, so I set it on one of the chairs.

"Just open it, there's clothes in it, if you want to dry yours" Blake explained.

I looked quickly and took basketball kind of shorts a big Reebok green hoodie with a yellow strip on each side, out of the bag but then just stood there.

"Where do I change?" I frowned, clothes in my hands

"Well right here Pumpkin" Blake just smirked, still staying at the same spot in the pool, looking up at me.

I rolled my eyes "Seriously"

"Just hide behind the bar" Blake laughed, and I narrowed my eyes at him, but did so, because I wasn't going to go walk around the house to find a bathroom.

When I was changed, I hung my jeans and shirt on top of a chair and sat on another one, looking at Blake in the pool, lighten by the stars up in the sky and the few lamps around, marvelling over the fact that I kinda had him all for myself right now. I also enjoyed the fact that his hoodie smelled like him and it smelled GOOD! He was never seeing that hoodie again. Ever. It was mine until the smell wore off. Whether he liked it or not.

I wrapped my arm around my leg and rested my cheek on my knee, my eyes never breaking contact with Blake.

"Well at least I'm glad we're not watching Human Centipede" I chuckled lightly.

"It's a shame, really. It's such an amazing movie"

"If Josh said so, it just has to be" I said sarcastically and Blake laughed.

We were silent again for a while just looking at each other. I don't know why but it felt like we didn't need to say anything. It felt comfortable, just being WITH Blake. We didn't need to do anything.

But I was still over thinking Lexi, and I still had a thousand things bubbling in my mind, still a thousand questions about Blake.

"So Blake? Anything interesting to share with me?"

Blake smirked a little "I got you all wet"

I narrowed his eyes at him "I said INTERESTING"

Blake's face because somewhat serious before he said his next word, his voice low and deep "When I'm with you it's like there are a million things I want to say but all at once, I don't know what to say first how to say it all to you... So it's easier to not say anything"

My eyes bulge, my heart beat faster, my breathing hitched up, and I couldn't tear my gaze away from his.

What did you answer to that? Seriously?

"Is this why you don't answer my questions? Why you're always so evasive on everything?" I asked my voice low too.

"Yes... and well I guess, I'm just not use to "be myself" around people. It's all new to me. I'm use to be the arrogant jerk. Old habits die hard."

My heart swollen at that thought. Blake could actually be himself around me. That made me feel special. It was selfish and self-centered but it was the truth.

I should just throw myself in the water and make out with him right now. Seriously, I deserved a medal for controlling myself like that.

"Well you can pretty much do and say anything you want around me, obviously, but try to keep the foreign language to a strict minimum alright?" I half-smiled.

"Well it's already better than with Jay. Jayden didn't even let me quote anyone. He punched me before I could finish my sentence" Blake said his voice thoughtful and miles away from here.

"You miss him a lot..." I stated in a murmur

"Everyday..." Blake whispered back "Every time something happens, every time Josh and I do something stupid, every time we travel to a new place... every time I think "Wait till I tell Jay..." and then I remember I won't ever be able to tell him... Because he's not here to listen anymore..."

I swallowed the lump in my throat "I'm so sorry Blake" I whispered back.

I wanted to say "What can I do?" but I knew there really wasn't anything I COULD do...

"I wish I could make it alright for you..." I added.

I wish I could heal you somehow... I wanted to add too. Heal you the way it seems you have healed me from my mom, from my shattered family, from my shattered heart.

Because without even noticing it, without even seeing the changes myself I had come to terms with my family situation, I was living with it now, without feeling bad about it, I was use to it. I woke up everyday and even though things were different I knew they were okay, I knew they would be okay.

I didn't before Blake.

Because it was Blake who made things okay.

"Well you make it better..." Blake whispered, looking me in the eyes.

Oh god...

I wanted him right now. Wanted him.

"As strange at it sounds, you do, in your own unobservant way" Blake smirked a little, but his eyes were still fierce on me "So I'll try to be less evasive on you so you don't murder me"

Indeed, how much have I wanted to murder him for not answering my questions?

"Are you saying I have permission to ask questions?" I beamed.

Blake laughed "Yes"

I almost clapped my hands together "Tell me something no one knows"

He seemed thoughtful for a second "I went to see it twice"

I frowned "What?"

"Twilight. I'm a HUGE fan!"

"Oh I SO knew it!"

"I'm KIDDING!" Blake laughed.

"Oh no you're not! I knew it Blakey-Boy! I knew you had a thing for sparkly things!" I laughed too, pointing him.

"I was joking but if you want to take it seriously I don't mind. You see how cool I am about all of this? Just shows it doesn't affect me because I know the truth and the truth is I'm not a fan"

I pouted "You're no fun!"

"Alright." Blake nodded, swimming closer to the side of the pool, closer to me "I started to paint again"

"Really?"

"Ya..." he half smiled

"Could I see it?"

"Nope! Well not until it's finished" he conceded.

"Will it be finished soon?"

"Not sure. I'm a perfectionist." He smirked a little "Now your turn. Tell me something"

"Oh please this is so not fair! You basically know everything there is to know!" I told him rolling my eyes, but Blake splashed water my way.

"Come on!" he whined.

I tried to think about something. I looked at him again. He was so beautiful. It almost made me want to cry.

And then I blurt it out "I cry sometimes when I read books, but not because it's sad, but because it's just too beautiful. It's weird I don't know why but I get all emotional. Maybe it's the girl hormones or just because it touches me and it's beautiful and I know I'll never find words like that to express how I feel as perfectly as it's written so I cry"

Blake was looking at me with a weird look. Awestruck?

Impossible right?

"Don't ever tell that to Josh, you would never hear the end of it" Blake warned, after a long moment of stare and silence.

"Alright. Speaking of him! I think the confession we got out of him was boring! You sure he really likes that girl?"

"Yes. I can tell by the way he's acting! He's not acting normally."

"Josh acting normally?" I snorted and Blake laughed a little too.

"But he never really liked a girl or had a real girlfriend so it's sort of hard to gage..." Blake trailed.

And then there was a little nagging voice in my head and I just gave in to it.

"Have YOU ever had a real girlfriend?" I asked him, but regretted it instantly.

Shut up Lexi, shut up, SHUT UP! You DON'T want to know!

I SO didn't want to know.

But at the same time...

I did...

Damn it, I did!

Blake took a deep breath before answering "Ya, summer before tenth grade. Went out with her for a month and a half. But... it just wasn't meant you know? Don't want to say it was a mistake, but it... we were just not..." he trailed.

"You loved her?"

This would hurt. I could almost already feel it.

"Not enough" he just answered.

But he did love her.

That hurt.

But I had done this to myself. I was curious. I had to live with it.

"Do I know her?" I asked.

Stop pushing Lexi, just STOP!

"No, not really" Blake frowned. "But you know, it's like you said about Alex. She's my friend, and will always be that, nothing more. That's what she always was and always was supposed to be"

Ya but was she lesbian? That would prevent me from having to track her down. Though this was ridiculous. I wasn't even going out with Blake! I was stopping myself from kissing him or anything! Why should it bother me! It shouldn't. It was in the past. I had a past too. A gay past but still one. Blake could have his too.

I wanted to ask more questions, hear him talk longer in that deep voice of his, that made strange things to my stomach, I wanted to keep talking forever, but the door on the house side of the room opened revealing a tired looking Anita

"I thought I hear sound" she trailed, rubbing her eyes.

"Oh sorry for waking you up!" Blake said, getting out of the pool in one quick pull.

She looked between the two of us, a smile forming on her lips "It's fine, don't worry little mister" she said with her cute accent and just turned around and left us there.

Blake just stood there, frowning like me and then we looked at each other and burst laughing.

"Ya we need to go to sleep now" I told him raising both my eyebrows, snorting a little.

"I agree. Plus you're dad might be worried..." he trailed.

Dad!

Ooops...

"Come on, I'll drive you home" Blake said, reaching for my hand with his own and I placed it automatically in it, smiling at him.