"You don't have to cook for me, Mum."

"I love cooking for both of you, and I especially enjoy cooking for more than one person." She grins. "It's so hard to guess quantities and then you're eating the same dish for days."

Mum bypasses me and walks into the kitchen. She gathers spices and sauces from the cupboard and places them on the kitchen table.

"How does tacos sound for dinner?"

I'm not really hungry but I nod. Perhaps tacos can entire my hunger.

Mum gathers vegetables from the fridge and gets to work chopping ingredients to cook with the mince. We sit in silence until she glances over her shoulder and raises an eyebrow.

"Are you okay, hun?"

"Yes." I force a smile. "Just a little tired and hanging out for the weekend."

I'm ready for a lazy weekend with Noah, watching tv and eating ice cream together. Ice cream isn't going to solve any of my problems, but I'll certainly feel better and it makes Noah happy.

"Hm, let's try that again. Are you okay?"

I lean against the edge of the couch and rub my face. I slide my fingers into my hair and tug on the roots. My phone rings and I groan at the sight of Craig's name on the screen. I slide my phone away and Mum raises the other eyebrow.

"Start talking right now, missy."

Noah's consumed by the television, so I get up and move to the kitchen. I lean against the counter and sigh. Mum hands me the wooden spoon and I stir the mince while she chops the vegetables.

"Craig has been calling every day to ask about Noah."

"Oh, that's new." Her face is a mixture of emotions, and it's kind of how I feel about the situation.

"It's annoying, that's what it is." I stab the mince with the wooden spoon to break it up and take some of the anger out of me. It doesn't do much good, though.

"What's with the sudden change?"

"We went to Craig's birthday party."

"And?"

"He started saying all these crazy things."

Mum stops chopping and turns to me.

"What crazy things, Ellie?"

"He said he loves me and wants to be a family again. Now I regret telling him to pick up a phone and call."

"What did you say? Are you going back to him?"

"No." I shake my head. "I grabbed Noah and ran. I think that's why he calls so much because he wants to know what I'm doing."

"I'm sure it'll wear off when nothing useful comes from it."

"I hope so." I sigh.

My phone pings and I want to ignore it, but out of curiosity, I wander to the couch and peek at the screen. Daniel's name appears next to the missed phone call from Craig.

"I take it that's not Craig?" She smirks.

"No." I smile.

"Your friend from the other night?"

I glance at Noah who's still consumed by the show on the television before turning around and nodding.

"Yes."

"Tell me about him."

I wander back to the kitchen and lean against the bench.

"He's amazing and so different from Craig. He's understanding and there for me in all the ways I need him to be without even asking."

"Has he met Noah?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because Noah's not ready to meet him."

"Or you're not ready for them to meet?" She raises an eyebrow.

"Yes and no."

"What's wrong?"

"Craig was asking Noah if I was dating someone and he freaked out. He told me he just wants it to be us forever, so I'm scared to introduce them."

"Perhaps introduce him as a friend before a boyfriend? Test the waters and see how they go."

I nod because it's good advice but it doesn't ease the nerves coursing through me. If they meet and they like each other... My heart flutters at the thought of them getting along. It would be nice to have Daniel around more.

"Daniel is excited to meet him." I chew on my lower lip.

"Oh, that's good."

"What if they meet and he realises it's too much?" I slump forward and cross my arms across my chest. "What if Noah doesn't like him and freaks out?"

Mum stops chopping the cucumber to turn to me. Her smile is grim but hopeful.

"Falling in love isn't easy."

"I'm scared."

"How does he make you feel?"

"Safe."

Since the moment I met Daniel, I've always felt safe with him and that's before he promised to catch me when I fall. Except Craig ruined my perception of a healthy relationship and it's hard to shoo the thoughts clouding my mind.

"Then it's time to take the leap."

I grimace.

"Ellie, you're strong enough that if this doesn't work out, you won't break. You'll regret this if it doesn't work out because you were too afraid to really give it a go."

"You're right." And I hate that she's right.

He promised to catch me if I fall, I just hope he was telling the truth.

* * * * *

I'm wrapped up in Daniel's arms and it's warm and safe. He's nuzzled his face into the back of my neck and soft snores fill the air. He's fast asleep but I can't turn my brain off to catch some rest. The conversation from earlier swirls in my head.

She's right, I should take the leap but the fear has a vice-like grip, anchoring me to the ground. It's funny because I was content being alone and raising Noah by myself. Now I'm terrified that this relationship won't work because if I'm honest, I'm falling hard for me and there's no soft landing if this doesn't work out.

"Mummy, mummy," Noah screams.

Daniel's eyes ping open and I shove him out of bed. He scrambles to the bathroom, while I run to the door just in time to scoop Noah up as he enters the room. I swing him around, so he's facing away from the bathroom.

I hold him a little tighter and inhale a deep breath to soothe my erratic heartbeat.

"What's wrong?" I stroke his head and kiss his forehead.

"I had a bad dream," he grizzles.

"Everything is okay, Mummy's here."

I walk to Noah's room and his grip tightens.

"Can you check the wardrobe and under my bed for monsters?"

"Sure thing."

I place Noah on the bed and he animatedly watches as I poke my head under the bed before moving to the wardrobe. When he can see the coast is clear, I climb into his bed and he snuggles into my chest.

"You're safe, I'm here," I keep repeating while I stroke his head.

It takes a while for Noah to drift off but once he's asleep, I slowly remove myself and sneak back to my bedroom. Daniel's sitting on the edge of the bed playing with his fingers. I slowly walk over and stand between his legs. He places his hands on the side of my legs and slides his hands up and rests them on my hips.

"Is Noah okay?"

"Yeah, he's fast asleep now." I sigh.

He squeezes my waist and I lean down and kiss his forehead. He tugs on the back of my legs and I fall forward, straddling his legs. He wraps his arms around my waist and kisses me.

"Perhaps it's time we meet? He almost caught us and if he's afraid of monsters under his bed, can you imagine if he found me in your bed?"

I sleep a little better with Daniel here, and perhaps that's because sometimes he reads until I fall asleep or he traces soothing circles into whatever party of my body his hands can get a hold of. I don't want to give that up because I'm afraid Noah will discover us.

I look down and he rubs my thighs.

"What's wrong?"

The heavyweight that's been pressing down on my chest finally erupts like a volcano.

"What if you leave?" I gasp because it's the first time I can really breathe.

"Leave." He chuckles. "I'm not leaving, baby. You can't get rid of me that easily."

He grabs my face and looks me in the eyes. Daniel's blue eyes search the depth of my soul, or so it feels like it.

"I'm serious, Ellie. What can I do to make you realise I'm serious about you and this relationship?" I push his shoulders so he falls against the bed and rest my head on his chest. I listen to the soothing sound of his heartbeat.

We haven't been together for long, but all of these little things are a comfort. His scent fills my senses and I soak in the warmth radiating from his chest. It feels like I'm supposed to be here and that's the scariest feeling because I've never felt like this before.

"You can just be you," I murmur.

"I'm sorry for pushing things, I just want to know you're as committed as me." My heart squeezes at this point because my mother is right; he thinks I'm not committed to him, to this.

"I think that's what I need; to know you're committed."

Daniel flips us over and looms above me. There's a devilish glint in his eyes which sends thrills of excitement coursing through me.

"I'm so committed, I could be committed to an institute because you and this situation is driving me crazy." He groans.

"I'll talk to Noah about it and prepare him. I've never introduced him to someone before."

"You can introduce me as your friend and eventually we can explain we're more than friends when the time is right."

"Okay." I nod.

He places his palm over my heart and he must feel how fast it's pumping away.

"Don't be nervous, everything will be fine." There's a wild, joyful look swirling in his blue orbs.

"Do you know who you're talking to?" I burst into laughter.

"Yes." He grins. "Which is exactly why I'm saying this."

He drops to the bed beside me and I roll back into his arms. He kisses the top of my head and I sigh.

"I'm excited now and I can't sleep," he comments.

I reach up and tap on my phone screen and three twenty flashes on the screen.

"We need to get back to sleep otherwise you'll be too tired for work."

"I don't care, I'm just happy, so, so, so happy."

I can't help but smile. 

* * * * *