Renjun knew it was a bad idea. Jaemin was a bad idea. But he couldn't stop it anyway. He was disappointed, that Jaemin didn't bother texting him during those three days, which is why his mood haven't been the best lately. He can't figure himself out— is this a crush? Like the Donghyuck or Jaehyun crush? Because it feels irritating and different.

When Jaemin approached him on the library, he didn't know whether to be angry because he didn't contacted him or relieved that nothing changed and his worries are all in his head.

"Shut the fuck up, Jaemin Na." He ended up saying, not because he was busy and Jaemin was annoying him but because he was genuinely upset because of the taller male.

Jaemin then continued acting like nothing happened which infuriated him more, but he decided to keep his mouth shut and just reply according to their topic.

"By the way, do you wanna go to the pub tonight? Jeno's playing." Jaemin informed. Renjun then felt the tingles again. Is this like a date? He wanted to ask but the look of the taller male answered otherwise.

Oh. Oh. So he needs him. Because Jeno was there.

And so he smiled, and agreed to go. Even though he doesn't have to, even though he can say no and Jaemin wouldn't mind. He would like to call himself a masochist at this point but even a sober person wouldn't do this to themselves so maybe it's on his nature to be this dumb.

"So this is the pub you were talking about," he stated. He's been here with Winwin and the guys before, but they like the bars on the city more which is why he isn't familiar when Jaemin mentioned the pub a while ago.

When Jeno started singing, he saw how Jaemin faltered little by little. How his smile disappeared and how the shine of his eyes dimmed as he tried to refrain himself from shredding tears. He saw all of it.

For the second time, he saw how flawed he was, the ever smiling Na Jaemin looks so different when he's with Jeno. It's like Jeno is pulling all Jaemin's light out, which angers him a little.

Why can't it just be me? He wanted to say, but it's so inappropriate because it looks like they were talking while staring at each other.

He knows he said that he fits well in the background— the instrument of someone else's love story. But he couldn't get himself to feel any bit of happiness when he was watching the two. It hurts somewhere on his chest and it's irritating because this is the first time he's ever felt this.

When Jaemin ran out of the pub and Jeno later on followed him, it was like he was left alone when the movie was over. There was no jittery feeling, or happiness. It was blank, with a little bit of hurt in the middle of it all.

"Do you want some tequila?" Donghyuck asked, offering him a glass of the godforsaken drink.

"Yeah, I think I could use some drink," he smiled.

Downing the liquor like it's his salvation. Though at the end of the drink it was just bitter, bitterness.