hey!

enjoy

i dont rlly like this one 😭 

Iskander's kind of annoyed...scratch that. He's annoyed. He's driving me to the MVA because he just now figured out I've been driving without a license.

I know how to drive; I had a license, but it got lost at the airport, plus I don't think it would've made a difference. It was a Spaniard license, not American.

He also agreed to teach me how to properly deal with situations where we are being shot at. I knew he wouldn't be able to say no for long.

"So, when can we go to the shooting range?" I asked eagerly.

"When I want to."

I rolled my eyes. "When is that?"

"When I want to."

"Iskander, don't piss me off."

"I'm already pissed off."

I scoffed. "When are you not?"

"When you're away from the house."

"Fuck you." I retorted.

"I did."

"But you're too pussy to do it again,"

Iskander smirked. "I didn't take you for a cheater."

I was taken aback by his sudden accusation. "What?"

"Did you forget that you have a boyfriend?"

Oh fuck, Carson.

"You've been parading around that you're taken but contradict yourself by getting angry I won't fuck you." Iskander chuckled.

"Fine, fine, you're right." I sighed. "I won't talk about it, but you gotta admit I'm a very good fuck."

"You weren't; your moans were annoying. I hate how you smell—take better care of your hygiene, and you're loose as if you'd just given birth."

My eyes widened, and embarrassment pounded my chest, climbing up my throat and choking me. I couldn't even speak; he just said—it's embarrassing. It actually made me want to cry.

"S–stop the car,"

Iskander furrowed his brows. "What–"

"detén el maldito auto!" I yelled. (stop the fucking car) "Now."

Iskander pressed on the brakes, and I threw the car door open and closed it.

I'm walking home; it's great exercise anyway.

༺♥༻

I gasped. "I love roses."

Carson smiled. "I took a wild guess. Red is great on your skin."

I smiled as I sat in my seat. "Thank you,"

Carson shrugged, his eyes trained on my chest for a while. "You deserve it."

Throughout the whole date, the only thing I was thinking about was if Carson thought I smelled bad....Iskander basically insinuated that my hygiene was terrible.

So when Carson came up behind me and hugged me when I got up to get myself a free cookie, I became conscious. What if I did smell?

"Are you uncomfortable with this?" He asked lowly in my ear.

I shook my head. "No, I just–do I – do I smell?"

Carson spun me around, a confused face engraved on his face. "Renata, you smell like cinnamon or mints on every occasion I see you. I don't know why you would be so insecure about this."

Yes, I should smell like cinnamon and mint. I use mint soaps and shampoo Sunday-Wednesday and Cinnamon during my second shower of Wednesday-Saturday. I alternate because I like both smells.

"I just received a bad comment."

Carson kissed my cheek. "They're obviously lying. I can't get enough of your smell."

I smiled up at him.

Kiss me, please.

Carson leaned but then my phone rang. I didn't even check, I declined it, but it called again. Carson sighed, burying his head in the nape of my neck. "Answer it."

I looked at him apologetically. "Sorry," I answered. "Hello?"

"Get home." Iskander's angry voice grumbled.

"What are you, my dad?" I snapped back.

Iskander sighed, pausing for a while....then Kenji started screaming in the background. "Kenji needs you."

I groaned. "Fine." I hung up and turned around. "I need to go; I'm sorry."

Carson smiled. "It's fine. I'll see you."

I nodded. "Definitely."

༺♥༻

I sighed when I walked through the door, only to see Kenji perfectly fine.

"Kenji, mi amor, what's going on? Weren't you crying earlier on?"

Kenji shook his head. "Daddy said, 'scream loudly so mommy can come home.' So I did."

I could feel my nose flaring in anger. "Ok, hon, hold on." I kissed his cheek and stormed into his office. "What the fuck?"

He looked up at me with an innocent look. "What did I do now?"

"Fuck you, you ruined a perfect date, and what the fuck happened to your hand?"

Iskander hesitated, looking at his bloodied hand, and I gasped. "Did you try to kill yourself with your son in the house?!" I yelled.

Iskander glared at me. "Let's use our fucking brains. I cut myself by accident 'cause I squeezing the glass too hard."

I scoffed. "As a man who prides himself in being so smart, why the fuck would you do that?"

"I wanted to see how much pressure a human hand would have to use to break a glass, fuck out of here." He retorted sarcastically.

I scoffed. "Why the hell would you call me home."

"Because I wanted to."

I glared hard. "Well, excuse me; I don't want to stink up your office because my hygiene is horrible."

He looked taken aback, like he didn't remember he said that to me.

Fuck him.

"Renata—"

"I wish I never met you. You make me regret everything. I wouldn't have gotten attached to Kenji if I knew you were this bitchy."

His mouth stood open.

"I'm only here because of Kenji because he's my baby. Because you're incapable of doing the simplest thing for him, yet I know you love him, and you continue to blatantly disrespect me. So you'll get your wish. I'll leave you the hell alone."

I slammed the door. I hated this man, but I knew that if he tried to fuck me again, I would let him, and I hated myself for that.

Why did I do this to myself? I ask this every day and do the same shit over and over again.

"Mommy," Kenji poked his head into my room.

I sighed, smiling. "Yes, mi corazon."

Kenji walked in and laid next to me, cuddling me. "Please love daddy; why don't you love daddy?"

"Because daddy doesn't love me, but your daddy and I are best of friends."

Kenji smiled softly. "Like Eva and me?"

I nodded, whispering, "like you and Eva."

The conversation between Kenji and me didn't last long because he had fallen asleep. I do thank god he fell asleep; I couldn't answer any more of his difficult questions.

I sighed, kissing his head. "I love you, corazon, I wished we could be the family you wanted, but wants are wants only, and wishes only come true when you're a Disney princess, or in your mother's case, princesa de la mafia."

see ya!