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Renata

Avoiding is something I never knew I could pull off with such immaculate grace. I have been avoiding and ignoring Iskander. I took a nine-to-five shift, dropping Kenji at school at eight-thirty and driving to work, all without seeing Iskander.

When I come back from work, I go visit Penelope, or stay outside talking to my sister Rita's children.

My siblings and I aren't that close anymore, but I'm close with their kids because my sister wants to rekindle something that isn't there. She left as soon as our parents died for her version of 'freedom.'

Our parents were very lenient; they would scold and reprimand us, but we could still go places and do sleepovers for my sister. She did a quinceanera right after she got in trouble for sleeping with her boyfriend at school and getting caught. Our parents just wanted us to be happy, and Rita wanted more, and we didn't have more.

We didn't have the money to provide her with the money to go on a girl's trip, and she was angry; she didn't understand why her little sister couldn't starve to provide for her trip. My brother Raphael is the sibling I was closest to; instead of bitching about a trip he couldn't go to, he got a scholarship, and he fundraised.

But I couldn't say no to Rita's kids or her husband because they're innocent; I don't ignore or punish other people for someone else's actions... it's why I'm still here, for Kenji.

Today, Penelope went on a date; also, today, Rita's kids were at a sleepover. Also, Raphael's kids are all sick....what the fuck is he doing with them?

I had to go back home. I knew Iskander was home; he came home bloody last week and hasn't been on the job since.

I opened the door, hoping that he wouldn't be in the living room, but he was.

Why? He's never fucking here when I wanted him to be here, now I want to avoid him, and he's here.

He needs to leave.

This is his house... I'm going crazy.

I tried to walk past, but he opened his big ass mouth. "Wait."

Oh, that voice is so fine.

The same voice that told you was unattractive and dirty.

I clear my throat, turning around. "What?" I said bitterly.

"I thought Adele and her bitchass father were done with me, but apparently, I'm so fucking important to Adele she's cutting herself in order to manipulate her father. He wants me to marry Adele, or he'll kill you and my son."

I shrugged. "So marry her."

He furrowed his brows. "You don't–?" he stopped himself.

"I don't what?"

He shook his head. "Nothing. I won't marry her. I'll teach you how to use a gun and how to use knives. You're a nurse; you're used to blood, right?"

I felt like half of my dreams were coming true, so I nodded.

"Don't smile; you'll be killing people."

I stopped smiling and nodded again. "I know I will be; thanks for the reminder, though."

Iskander glared at me but continued anyway. "I can't be with Kenji all the time, not with the bounty on my head." He lit a cigarette.

When was the last time I saw him smoke?

"It's not healthy–"

"I don't care right now."

I scoffed. "Ok then, I thought you were a grown man with a child, but I guess we don't have those anymore."

His nose flared, smoking flowing from it. "Don't piss me off."

"Or what? You're gonna say I stink? My hygiene's off? My moans were annoying, or that I'm so loose?"

He got up and stalked toward me. "When you're ready, we'll talk." He tried to walk away, but I stopped him.

"I am ready."

"Then shut the fuck, will you?" He said slowly.

I rolled my eyes and looked away. "I'm ready, but you're not."

His sharp bluish-brown eyes were turning black; he was getting high. "Renata." He growled lowly.

I shrugged. "We can have this conversation when you're ready." I walked away, but he pulled me back. "Get off me."

"I thought you wanted me on you?" He taunted.

I sighed. "So now you're going to rape me while high?"

He scoffed and turned me around. "No, you need to listen to me."

"I don't, not while you're high. Sober up before you influence our son." He pulled away as I realized my mistake. "I–I meant your–"

He chuckled, nodding; he was creeping me the fuck out. "Fine, I'll go sober up."

There are psychological problems going around in this house, real mental problems.

He's still fine, though.

God, I'm sick

༺♥༻

Kenji and Lila spent the day together, and Carson and I watched them, talking and laughing together. I came back from this child-parent date, and this puta is upset that I had his son spend time with another man's child.

"I don't want Kenji near another man's fucking child."

I scoffed. "Then what was Eva? A tree's child?"

Iskander didn't say anything for a while. "I don't like Lila."

"You mean you don't like Carson? Well, too bad, Lila's going to be Kenji's step-sister one day."

Iskander stood up, clearly angry. "Do you even love him?"

I furrowed my brows. "Of course–"

"No, you don't," Iskander scoffed. "You're using this man; you're just too stupid and delusional to notice."

I slapped him, and he stood there in shock that I had slapped him. "No, you're delusional. I can't see why Adele would want you back; you're like a child."

Why does he hate me so much?

"Leave me alone, Iskander; I haven't done anything to hurt you. Why are you so bitter towards me?" My voice wavered at the end, but I managed to keep my tears in.

"Ren–"

"Save it, Iskander." I sped-walked into my room so I could cry; as a grown woman, you should never let no man make you cry, and I managed to let that happen.

How could I be so stupid?

"Nunca se lo des a un hombre, hermosa, no tienen sentimientos hasta que conocen a quien los hará pelear.." (Never give it to a man, beautiful, they have no feelings until they meet someone who will make them fight.)

I'm sorry, mamá, I let you down; I didn't listen.

God, I can't wait for this to fucking end and I can go home...what about Kenji, Carson?

Great, I already made a life here. You're a dumb ass, Renata.

Ugh, she's so repetitive