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The rest of the day went by slowly. Iris sat through the rest of DADA in silence, though nothing would help the relentless stares from every angle that ceased to leave her. She practically ran out of the classroom the minute Umbridge dismissed them. The rest of Iris' classes trudged by, none quite as unpleasant but her mod never lifted. Harry regrouped with them at their next lesson together, seeming much more calm.

Though Iris saw him growing noticeably more agitated the closer to his detention the time got. She couldn't blame her brother for being upset and anxious for what his punishment would be. Umbridge was still a widely unknown variable at Hogwarts, and Harry would be the first to see what type of enforcer she was.

Dinner in the Great Hall that night was not a pleasant experience for Iris. The news about Harry's shouting match with Umbridge seemed to have traveled exceptionally fast even by Hogwarts standards. She heard whispers all around her as she sat eating beside her twin and across from Ron and Hermione. The funny thing was that none of the whisperers seemed to mind the Potters overhearing what they were saying about them— on the contrary, it was as though they were hoping Harry would get angry and start shouting again, so that they could hear his story firsthand, maybe this time with a reaction from Iris.

"He says he saw Cedric Diggory murdered..."

"I always knew she was mad..."

"He reckons he dueled with You-Know-Who..."

"Come off it..."

"She's probably mind-controlling Dumbledore and her brother..."

"Who do they think they're kidding?"

"Puh-lease..."

Iris massaged her temples, suppressing the ache.

"What I don't get," said Harry in a shaking voice, laying down his knife and fork (his hands were trembling too much to hold them steady), "is why they all believed the story two months ago when Dumbledore told them..."

"The thing is, Harry, I'm not sure they did," said Hermione grimly. "Oh, let's get out of here."

She slammed down her own knife and fork; Ron looked sadly at his half-finished apple pie but followed suit. People stared at them all the way out of the Hall.

"What d'you mean, you're not sure they believed Dumbledore?" Harry asked Hermione when they reached the first-floor landing.

"Look, you don't understand what it was like after it happened," said Hermione quietly. "You two arrived back in the middle of the lawn clutching—" she paused, glancing hesitantly at Iris, "...Cedric's dead body... None of us saw what happened in the maze... We just had Dumbledore's word for it that You-Know-Who had come back and killed Cedric and fought you."

"Which is the truth!" said Harry loudly.

"I know it is, Harry, so will you please stop biting my head off?" said Hermione wearily. "It's just that before the truth could sink in, everyone went home for the summer, where they spent two months reading about how you two are nutcases and Dumbledore's going senile!"

Rain pounded on the windowpanes as they strode along the empty corridors back to Gryffindor Tower. Iris felt as though her first day had lasted a week, but she still had a mountain of homework to do before bed, and a growing migraine to slow her down. A dull pounding pain had developed in her forehead. She glanced out of a rain-washed window at the dark grounds as they turned into the Fat Lady's corridor. There was still no light in Hagrid's cabin.

"Mimbulus mimbletonia," said Hermione, before the Fat Lady could ask. The portrait swung open to reveal the hole behind and the four of them scrambled back through it.

The common room was almost empty; nearly everyone was still down at dinner. Crookshanks uncoiled himself from an armchair and trotted to meet them, purring loudly, and when Iris, Harry, Ron, and Hermione took their four favorite chairs at the fireside he leapt lightly into Hermione's lap and curled up there like a furry ginger cushion. Iris gazed into the flames, feeling drained and exhausted.

She turned to Harry, asking, "When do you have to leave for detention?"

He looked down at his old watch, "Quarter hour," he groaned.

They all grimaced. Soon enough, people were coming back from dinner. Iris kept her face averted from the portrait hole, but could still sense the stares she was attracting. Harry said goodbye, reluctantly shuffling back out of the Common Room and down to Umbridge's office.

Minutes after he had left, Iris, Hermione, and Ron started to notice older students rushing around the room pushing furniture around. Hermione rolled her eyes as Fred and George waltzed into the room with boxes of drinks and snacks floating behind them.

"Are they seriously having a party on the first night back?" Hermione said, annoyed.

It certainly looked like it. Suddenly, loud Wizard Rock music began blaring around the Common Room, seemingly with no source yet coming from every direction. The three of them jumped, startled.

Hermione stood, staring pointedly at Ron, "I'm going to my dorm to work on homework, you can take care of this."

Ron's eyes went big in panic, not wanting to be the one in charge of a bunch of sixth and seventh years.

Iris almost laughed at the fear on his face. After Hermione walked off, disappearing up the stairs, Iris said to the ginger boy, "Good luck, Prefect."

She stood, laughing as he groaned, sinking low in his chair.

A crowd had already formed in the center of the Common Room, many of the students screaming the lyrics to the song playing or getting too close with their boyfriend or girlfriend for public. Iris squeezed her way through them, accidentally stepping on some feet and not so accidentally elbowing a couple people.

She stopped at one of the tables with food on it, still hungry since they had left dinner early. Her eyes flickered around at the food options available as she grabbed a few biscuits. Iris took a bit out of one before she froze, her gaze pausing on a cluster of firewhisky bottles.

The brunette glanced behind herself, noticing several other students drinking the alcoholic beverage. She could practically feel their dozens of thoughts pounding on the front door to her mind, demanding to be let in, but instead Iris made a bad decision for the second time.

She grabbed a bottle, unscrewing the top and tipping it back against her mouth in one motion. The firewhisky seared Iris' throat. It seemed to burn feeling back into her, dispelling the numbness and sense of unreality firing her with something that was like courage.

The more she drank the less she felt. The voices in her head slowly faded away, blending into the music before dissipating entirely. Iris felt utter bliss in the rare silence, quickly finishing her first bottle. She moved on to her second, then her third, blending into the equally intoxicated crowd. Adrenaline coursed through her body, keeping her conscious as she danced with strangers, being seen without judgement for the first time since before Cedric had died.

Everything seemed to move in slow motion. The bass was pumping through the floor and echoing in time with her heart beat. She closed her eyes, letting her drunken state guide her body as she swayed with the music. Other students pressed up against her as they danced. More people had joined the party since it had started, causing the pit of Gryffindors to grow in size but squeeze closer together so there was nearly no breathing room.

Iris' fumbling hands had undone her tie when her body grew hot from the firewhisky. She stumbled in place, bumping into people around her while she giggled endlessly.

The girl was about to stumble over into another person when a strong hand gripped her bicep, pulling her upright. Iris spun around, falling into their chest from dizziness. She grabbed fistfuls of a leather jacket to hold herself upright, her eyes roaming his face without recognition.

"Wha— re— doing—"

Iris squinted at his mouth, her head so foggy she didn't understand half of what was just said.

"Iris— told you— be— watching."

Her vision shifted, seeing a familiar raven-haired boy standing before her, concern blanketing his face. Iris' eyelids were half-shut, drowsiness catching up with her.

"Kai?" she slurred.

A heavy sigh escaped his lips at seeing the state she was in. "Come on, you need to sleep."

Kai tried leading her through the crowd toward the stairs of the girls' dormitory, but after Iris nearly fell over multiple times, he resorted to scooping her into his arms, one behind her knees and the other under her back. Iris wrapped her arms around his neck, laughing every few seconds at nothing.

When he had woven through the last few people before the staircase, Kai paused, his eyebrows furrowing in thought. The staircase was enchanted to not let any boys up into the dorms, but there was no way Iris would be able to walk herself up them and to bed. An idea occurring, Kai shifted Iris in his strong arms to make sure she was secure before he walked into the first step.

Just before his foot hit the stone, Kai summoned a thin electric blue shield just under his shoe. He did the same on the next step, never actually touching the staircase, yet to anyone looking, they wouldn't be able to see his strange magic.

In the moments it took him to reach her dormitory door, Iris was almost asleep in his arms. He hesitated, not sure if he should wake Iris up and let her walk herself in. Kai knew her best friend was inside, hopefully asleep so she wouldn't have to see Iris like this.

He looked down at her. Iris' eyes had closed, her head nestled against him and her face pressed into his leather jacket. Kai's eyes softened, making up his mind.

He shifted her carefully so he could reach out and open her door. The dark-haired boy entered quickly, shutting the door quietly behind him. The blaring music from the common room was deafened as soon as he entered the dorm, thanks to a charm that had been placed on the common room. Kai breathed a sigh of relief upon noticing that Iris' friend was already asleep, the crimson curtains drawn around her bed.

He approached Iris' bed silently, carefully setting the girl down on top. He watched her for a moment, noticing how her eyes moved back and forth under her eyelids, and the small but stuttering breaths she took.

Just as he was pulling away though, Iris' hand reached over to grab his.

"You always leave."

Kai sat down on the side of her bed somewhat hesitantly. The hand that wasn't being held by hers reached to take off the Gryffindor tie that was wrapped like a scarf around her neck.

"I can't let anyone see me," he said gently.

He had been okay in the Common Room surrounded by a bunch of drunk teenagers that wouldn't think twice about a guy they didn't recognize, but if any of Iris' dorm mates saw Kai with her, it would be pretty difficult to explain.

Kai sighed inaudibly, looking down at where his hand was being held by the brunette girl. "Why'd you do this?"

Iris' foggy eyes opened to stare at him. She looked almost confused, as though she didn't have an answer.

"Life sucks and then you die," Iris muttered, her voice still slurring slightly.

Kai felt his chest ache at how genuinely sad she sounded when she said it. He could tell, even in her drunken state, that she believed it. Her fingers wove through his, holding Kai's hand close to her.

The boy frowned, biting his lip. "Go to sleep," he told Iris softly, carefully pulling his hand back from hers.

Iris didn't resist, shutting her eyes once more. Kai easily slid her shoes off before pulling the covers on the bed up over Iris, tucking her in. He brushed messy brown hair away from her face, noticing how peaceful she looked when she was asleep.

"Goodnight Iris," Kai whispered finally, before silently exiting the room.

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thoughts i had while writing this chapter:

1. chapter title= i regret the thing i did... also why is that iris' theme song

2. they shouldn't be having a party while covid— oh wait

3. envisioning a high school dance (mosh pit with excessive grinding) but too scared to write the horrors

4. iris is such a chaotic drunk. she's either crying, can't stop giggling, or is asleep,,, it's a russian roulette

5. *debby ryan's*

6. when did this get so depressing

anyway, mistakes were made, drinks were drunk, and iris is (as per usual lately) an absolute mess.