HARRY:

The night of the full moon, I was a wreck. Lucy and Ginny didn't let me walk down to Hagrid's Hut, saying I shouldn't walk back to the castle by myself, so my goodbye to Lucy was limited to a quick tight hug on the castle steps. Once they were out of sight, I turned on my heel and hurried up to the dormitory, planning on hiding in my bed until sunrise. I felt suffocated after a matter of minutes, though, so I went down to the common room and crawled into Lucy's window seat with my worn copy of Flying with the Cannons, pretending to read it until every last person had left the common room except for Ron.

He asked how I was feeling. I couldn't think of any answer I could offer him that would accurately convey the raw terror holding me captive. I shrugged instead. I didn't trust myself to open my mouth, afraid that I might throw up all over the floor if I did. He told me he'd likely be awake all night too if I needed anything, and I nodded, and I could feel him staring at me for a moment longer, but I couldn't bring myself to meet his gaze before he went up to our dormitory for the night.

My stomach was in knots. My muscles were so tense it hurt. My head was pounding. My eyes were stinging from the tears I'd been holding back all night. My heart wouldn't stop racing.

I closed the book and tucked it away and pulled my Invisibility Cloak from my pocket and yanked it over my head so I could let the tears fall without having to worry about anyone seeing me or hearing me. Lucy was the only person who could sense me even when I was invisible, but Lucy wasn't there. So I cried.

I thought the August full moon had been difficult, when Lucy had been in the room the twins had specifically designed to keep her safe. The September full moon, the one where she was running around the Forbidden Forest somewhere with only Ginny to keep her safe, was so much worse.

I trusted Ginny, of course I trusted Ginny, and I knew Lucy was safer with her than she would be without her. But I knew better than to believe that Lucy was truly safe by any means.

I was a wreck. I didn't know what to do.

"How did you live with it, Sirius? Dad? Mum, even? Wanting so desperately to protect someone you love from something inevitable? Knowing there is nothing you can do to stop the pain that's coming while wanting nothing more than to be able to stop it anyway? I'd take the pain on as my own, if I could. I'd blast the moon to pieces, if I could. I'd do anything, anything at all, and yet, here I am, doing absolutely nothing because there is nothing I can do, nothing to do. Lucy thinks you're all out there, up there, in the stars, maybe even just behind the stars. Can you stop the moon? I suppose if it were possible, you all would have done it by now, but can you try again? Can you bring the dawn sooner, even just the tiniest bit sooner? Can you keep the night at bay? Can you destroy the moon, work together to control the tides in its stead? Can you do anything? Anything at all? I'm sorry I can't protect her from this, Cedric. I'm so sorry. Her pain is my pain, now so more than ever, but it's not just mine. I wish it was just mine. I'd wrestle it away from her if I could, and I'd make sure I won, and it stayed away from her, I'd make sure that pain never touched her again. I wish it was me. People keep telling me that I don't want to be there with her during the transformation, but they're all wrong. I do, I'm just scared that if I'm ever there and she finds out, she's going to get in her head like she does and she's going to convince herself that I'm going to leave her, no matter what I say or do. I want to be there anyway, to force her to confront then overcome the fear, but... everything is so fragile right now. I don't want to hurt her in an attempt to help her. I don't want to push her away in an attempt to pull her close. I'm just so stuck and so useless and so worried and I love her so much. Surely this anxiety will kill me one day, if I can't fix this before then. But even then, even if I do somehow miraculously cure lycanthropy, that will never be able to erase the pain of the past, the pain I know she's experiencing now, tonight. How did you live with it, Sirius, Dad, Mum? How am I supposed to live with it?"

I caved in on myself and sobbed.

I'm not sure how long I was crying when a thunderclap shook the window. My head jerked up as I watched for the lightning — it struck too close for comfort. I couldn't breathe. Lucy was out there in that weather. Ginny too. They were both out there, alone, in the middle of the Forbidden Forest, in a thunderstorm, on the full moon, alone, and I was just sitting there in the common room hiding under an invisibility cloak crying about something I couldn't do anything to fix, alone too but so much safer.

I couldn't help but cry harder.

For all I knew, Lucy could be out there, injured, or worse. Every full moon had the potential to be her last. Worse than that, every day had the potential to be her last, with the war going on. Danger wasn't exclusive to full moons anymore. It hadn't been for a long time. Maybe it never was, for her.

The girls might have stopped me from heading down to Hagrid's hut in the evening, but there was nothing anyone could do to stop me from being there as soon as the sun rose. I crept up to the dormitory and pulled a truly ridiculous number of jumpers over my head before donning the invisibility cloak again and sneaking out of the common room.

I was surprised to see Hagrid's lights still on, but he didn't seem too surprised to see me when he opened the door and I pulled the cloak off.

"Come in, come in, quickly now," Hagrid said, ushering me inside. "Sunrise isn't fer another hour or so, Harry."

My teeth chattered, and it wasn't entirely from the cold and rain. "I know, I just — I — it's..."

Hagrid nodded, dismissing my weak attempt at an explanation with a wave of his hand. "It's alrigh', you c'n stay up with me. I couldn' sleep with the storm either, and I always try ter be awake anyway, just in case."

"Just in case?" I repeated.

"Just in case," he said with another nod. "Ginny an' I have an agreement. Anythin' goes wrong, she comes an' gets me first. Nothin's ever happened she couldn't handle, but we have the plan anyway. Just in case."

"Just in case," I echoed. I was so anxious already that I felt numb to the new information, but I would inevitably panic about it properly later.

A little bark caught my ear, and I looked down to see that Tuck had his front two paws propped against my left leg. His tail was wagging back and forth, and he barked again when he saw I was finally looking at him.

"Hi, Tuck," I said quietly, lowering myself to the floor to scratch behind his ears. He wasn't content with just this, though, so he crawled into my lap and shoved his head against my chest. I absently rubbed my hands up and down his back, the touch grounding me a bit. "I know, mate. I'm worried too."

Hagrid quietly hummed his agreement as he puttered around the hut, doing whatever chores came to mind. I asked if he wanted to help with anything, but he said I was helping by keeping Tuck out of his way.

"He jus' knows," Hagrid said. "He gets antsy every month, even over summer when Lucy wasn' even here. He's a good dog, that Tuck. Good friend fer her. She ever tell yeh the story of how she found 'im?"

I shook my head. "No, I don't think so. How'd she find him?"

"It was after a full moon when she was a kid, while Cedric was at school. She was headin' back to her house from the woods when she found 'im next to his mother, who was dead. She brought 'im home, nursed 'im back ter health."

"Of course she did," I said, chest glowing warm as I somehow found it within me to smile. That's my girl.

Hagrid smiled back at me, then continued wiping down every level surface he had. I continued petting Tuck, who had rolled off of my lap onto the floor so I could give him a belly rub.

Finally, finally, finally, finally, finally, a knock at the door broke the anxious silence.

I jumped to my feet and yanked it open.

Ginny shoved Lucy my direction, saying they were both unhurt but cold, and I immediately wrapped my arms around her trembling frame, glasses clattering to the ground as I buried my face against the nape of her neck. She was so cold, soaked to the bone, shaking so violently it was a wonder she had been able to stand on her own at all.

"You're okay," I whispered, both for her benefit and mine. "It's over, it's okay, everything's going to be okay."

Lucy nodded weakly.

Ginny collapsed with a sigh of relief onto Hagrid's sofa and tugged Lucy down next to her. I snatched my glasses up off the ground and immediately jumped into action, peeling off my jumpers one by one, handing one to Lucy, then one to Ginny, until I was just standing there in my pajamas. Hagrid handed me an armful of blankets then, so I layered those over both girls one by one until there was nothing else I could do. By the time I was done, only part of Lucy's face was visible, and she was curled up against Ginny with her head on the younger girl's shoulder, eyes closed and teeth chattering.

"Thanks for the jumpers, Harry, but weren't you burning up wearing eight of those at once?" Ginny asked with a raised eyebrow.

I shrugged. "Didn't really notice. How was the night?"

"Lucy wasn't very fond of the rain, so she was running around all night trying to find a dry place to hide from it. She was, er, obviously unsuccessful, though." Ginny wiggled out from under the blankets and waved me over. "C'mon, Harry, you're warm and dry, get between us and warm us both up."

I complied immediately, eager for any excuse to be closer to Lucy. I slid under the mountain of blankets and carefully positioned Lucy so she was pressed up against me as close as possible. She made a quiet sound of happiness and wrapped her arms around me, resting her face against my chest, chattering teeth slowly going still.

Ginny patted the sofa. "You too, Tuck, c'mere, boy."

Tuck jumped up in answer and bounded across my lap to burrow into Lucy's. She made another happy sound, and her lips twitched into a small smile.

"Good boy," she said softly.

"Who, Harry or Tuck?" Ginny asked as she wiggled back under the blankets and pressed up against my right side.

Lucy considered this for a long moment. "Mmm, both."

I couldn't help but chuckle. "I'm flattered."

I didn't even plan on falling asleep, but when I opened my eyes again, it was lighter outside, and Ginny and Hagrid were gone. Lucy was still pressed up against me, practically wrapped around me, and someone — Ginny, definitely Ginny — had moved my right arm so it was around Lucy too. We were effectively cuddling.

For a second, anxiety slammed through me. We weren't supposed to be doing that, not where anyone could see us, we were a secret, for our own safety. Then I remembered that we definitely hadn't fallen asleep like that, someone had positioned us that way. Ginny. She didn't know about us, she was just being mischievous. If anyone mentioned it later, I'd deny, deny, deny, deny, deny. I didn't fancy Lucy. She was just cold and I was helping her warm up.

I glanced down at my sleeping girlfriend. Her face was still frighteningly pale, but her hair had dried, and when I pressed the back of my hand to her forehead, her cheek, her neck, she was far warmer than she had been that morning. She never felt properly warm the day after a full moon, but she was as warmer, and for that I was glad.

After another cursory look around the hut and at the windows confirmed that no one was watching — except for Tuck and Fang from their respective beds in their respective corners — I pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"I love you," I whispered, knowing she couldn't hear me, needing to say it anyway. I pulled her closer, closer, closer, closer, closer. I hadn't lost her. She was safe with me, in my arms, she would always be safe with me, in my arms. I closed my eyes and lost myself in the comfort of the fact that she was breathing, that she was warm, that she was okay, that she was in my arms, that she was mine. I pressed another kiss to the top of her head. "I love you."

Ron and Ginny headed down to Hagrid's hut later that morning. I pretended to just be waking up when they let themselves in, figuring ignorance was my best defense.

"Good morning, sleepyhead! We figured we might as well get her up to the castle before lunchtime, and if all four of us head up to the castle at the same time, we can pretend we were all out practicing Quidditch together, if anyone asks," Ron explained. "Hermione's shooing everyone out of the prefect's bathroom so Lucy can clean up and warm up in there, since you both have access to it now."

I nodded. "That's smart."

"How's she doing?" Ginny asked.

I rested my hand against her forehead, even though I'd checked just a couple minutes prior to make sure she was still okay, still warm. "She's warmer," I said. "A hot bath is a good idea, though. I just, er, someone should stay with her to make sure she doesn't fall asleep, because — "

Ginny raised her eyebrows as high as they were physically possible of going. "Are you volunteering, Potter?"

"No!" I protested, face flaming. "Well — I didn't mean to come across that harsh — I could, if Hermione didn't want to do it, but, er, maybe it would be best if — if someone other than me — you know?"

"Whatever you say, mate," Ron said with a chuckle. "You should change out of your pajamas anyway. I'm sure Hermione and Ginny have it covered."

I looked at Ginny. "You're a prefect?"

"Oh, Merlin, no. That sounds awful. But it'll just be Hermione and Lucy, it's not like anyone's going to pitch a fit about me being there." Ginny knelt down and checked Lucy's forehead for herself. "Yeah, you're right, the bath should help warm her up a bit more. Is it just me, or does she feel colder than usual today?"

"It's not just you," I admitted quietly. "I was thinking the same."

"You reckon it's that werewolf magic thing she mentioned when we first got to school?" Ron asked.

"She said it made her less cold after full moons, not more cold," Ginny said.

I nodded. "Maybe it's just the aftermath of the storm, but — I don't know. It's just — it's always been scary, but every time I think I've got it figured out, there's something new, you know?"

"Tell me about it," Ginny muttered. She sighed. Her face softened, though, as her hand moved from Lucy's forehead to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Luuuucy, time to wake up."

I reluctantly pulled away from Lucy and started shifting blankets off of her onto the sofa. She groaned in protest, which would have been cute if she hadn't sounded so genuinely sad. Eyes still closed, she tightened her arms around me and pulled me back toward her with more force than I thought was possible for her so soon after a full moon. I wanted nothing more than to just cuddle with Lucy all day and give her whatever she wanted, but unfortunately, the world kept turning. The stolen moments had been nice, though, as they always were. I looked forward to the day that those moments were just moments, nothing stolen or secret about our time spent together.

"I know, I'm sorry, but it's time to head up to the castle, Lu," I said with a quiet chuckle.

A steady stream of sleepy profanity spilled from her mouth, making all of us laugh. Her eyes opened then, and she looked between Ron and Ginny in a panic before pulling her arms back and getting to her feet a little too fast.

"Whoa, easy there." I reached up automatically and placed my hands on her hips to steady her when she started to tip, without thinking twice about it, but Ginny's eyes latched onto my hands and widened. Shit shit shit shit shit. I got to my feet too, letting my hands fall to my sides as casually as possible while studying Lucy out of the corner of my eye to make sure she'd regained her balance. She was steady, though, so I cleared my throat and jerked my head in the direction of the door. "Shall we?"

"You know what — " Ron, in a surprisingly fluid motion, looped Lucy's arms around his neck and lifted her onto his back. "Yeah, let's go."

Lucy leaned forward as far as she could, trying to glare at Ron. "Care to explain to me how I ended up here?"

"You're so tired you can barely stand, and it's pouring rain out there so the ground is slick and muddy. The last thing we need is you tumbling down a hill and splitting your head open on a rock or something like that."

"Your confidence in my ability to walk is underwhelming."

"Oh, shut up and let me help where I can."

I became aware in that moment of Ginny staring at me.

"What, you want one too?" I joked.

She blinked, snapping out of whatever daze she had been in, and rolled her eyes. "Do you?"

"Nope, I'm good."

"Right, then, let's get on with it," Ron said, and we all made our way up to the castle. Ginny hovered next to the Ron-Lucy duo, and I hovered behind, just in case. It really was pouring, Ron had the right idea in giving Lucy a piggyback. I was a little bitter that I hadn't thought of it first, but maybe it was for the best if Ron did it. Maybe people would think Ron and Lucy were dating, and she'd be safer that way.

Or maybe I was just reading too much into everything. That was certainly a possibility too. War made everyone paranoid.

I made my way up to my dormitory alone, and it was there, alone again, that panic swept over me, again.

My eyes were drawn to one particular photograph hanging around my bed, of Ron's birthday in March. I looked at it every day. It was one of my favorites of us, the three of us, meaning Ron and Lucy and myself.

It was true, I could lose Lucy at any given moment, with the war within her and the war around us and everything in between. But... photographs. Hagrid had given me photographs of my parents that their friends had taken. They lived on there. We'd put up photographs of Cedric in our D.A. meetings. Photographs could always tell stories lost to time.

I went to my trunk and pulled the camera out, given to me by Lucy herself. That contraption had just become the most valuable object in the world to me. And I was going to use it every chance I got, I was going to create chances to use it.

I wasn't going to let Lucy, let her story, let our story, become lost. Even if we had to exist in secret for the time being — well, not even magical cameras could talk. It would keep our secret for us.

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September 28, 1996 — a nap in her favorite window seat

A rain-spattered window and a bright red knit blanket.

A flash of lightning revealed Lucy, curled up in a tight ball, the blanket pulled right up to her chin. The hood of my grey jumper obscured part of her face, but her closed eyes and nose were visible. She must have been having a nice dream — what little was visible of her face suggested she was smiling.

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September 30, 1996 — a nap on Hagrid's sofa, featuring Tuck

Lucy, asleep again, this time on Hagrid's sofa, this time under a brown knit blanket, this time in her school robes.

Tuck sitting protectively in front of her, tail wagging as he looked over his shoulder to check on her.

The warm glow of the fireplace bathed Lucy in gentle light. The wrist wearing her charm bracelet was dangling free, and the firelight made the charms sparkle.

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October 2, 1996 — "Harry, why are you taking a picture of me in the middle of a co-captain meeting?" "Because you're so cute when you're excited." "Oh, shut up."

Lucy, with me in the Quidditch stands, pointing to something in her notes on her lap that she had just circled in red ink, looking up at me with excited eyes for approval. Seeing the camera instead, blushing bright red, grinning in spite of herself as she lifted her hand to the lens to cover it.

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October 4, 1996 — such a diligent student (even on a Friday night)

Lucy, bent low over a textbook, thumb pressed over her mouth in concentration. It was clear from the picture that we were the only people left in the common room. I had stayed up just to be with her, to steal a few moments of being alone together, and to make sure she didn't stay up too late. In return, she whispered an "I love you, you know that, right?" to me with a shy glance and smile as she turned each page. She was so focused on her studies she didn't even notice the camera.

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October 6, 1996 — our secret first date: a series

Our hill at sunrise. Lucy was standing in a sky blue knit jumper and a pair of black leggings, her brown hair loose as the breeze gently pushed it back from her face. She turned to face me, sky blue eyes confused for a moment.

I had lowered the camera after taking that picture. "What's the matter, love?"

Lucy had blushed bright red and taken a couple quick steps back. "Sorry, I'll get out of the way."

"Now why would you do that?" I had asked, frowning.

"Because you were trying to take a picture?" Lucy had replied, brow furrowing in deeper confusion.

"Yes, and?"

"I was in the way. Of the scenery."

"You weren't in the way." I lifted the camera and pointed it directly at her. "You can say 'cheese' this time, if you'd like."

She ducked out of the way just as the shutter clicked, blush intensifying. "But why would you want to take pictures of me? The scenery is a far nicer sight than I am."

"You are so very mistaken, love," I said, setting the camera down and marching over to her to take her face in my hands and tip our foreheads together. "You're a nicer sight than all the scenery in the world."

"You are the one who's mistaken," she protested, though her voice had gone soft, like she was almost daring to believe me.

I stepped back and made a big show of taking off my glasses, aggressively polishing both sides, then squinting at her as I put my glasses back on my face. "Nope, I'm not mistaken. You look nice — "

Lucy surged forward then and kissed me, hard, so hard my glasses tumbled to the ground beside the camera. When she let me go, I was quite unable to speak for a minute.

"You, er, like I was saying, you look nice," I stammered, awkwardly, trying to force my brain to come up with something more intelligent to say. "You look — wait, I need my glasses, but — you look nice even when you're just a blur of brown hair and blue jumper and black leggings. But you look even nicer, when — " I fumbled for my glasses, practically shoving them onto my nose. " — like this."

"You have grass on your glasses," she said with an amused smile as she gently rubbed the blades off with the sleeve of her jumper. "But you look nice like this too."

I reached down for the camera. "I'm going to keep taking pictures of you because I enjoy taking pictures of you and looking at said pictures later. I think I want to keep these pictures for quite a long time. I always want to remember just how nice you look in this moment, and when you're studying, and when you're excited about Quidditch, and when you're napping on Hagrid's sofa or in the common room." Lucy was blushing brighter and brighter shades of red as I talked, so I just kept talking as I slowly lifted the camera. "You're so cute when you blush, you know."

When the shutter clicked, she didn't run away. I smiled to myself as I set the camera down and let her kiss me again.

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October 8, 1996 — Ancient Runes extra credit assignment, featuring Hermione

Hermione and Lucy had claimed Ron's bed as their own, with his permission, because the tables in the common room weren't big enough for the sheer number of scrolls they needed to translate. Professor Babbling had given the girls an exceptionally challenging assignment to do together, since they had both gotten Os on their O.W.L.s. (Malfoy had unfortunately scored an O too, but when he'd been offered the assignment, he'd just rolled his eyes and said he'd rather die than work with Lucy and Hermione in any capacity. He'd received detention; Lucy and Hermione were delighted by everything.) Watching Lucy and Hermione work together was a sight to behold, as they paced back and forth, making notes, thinking out loud, translating one sentence at a time.

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October 10, 1996 — rainy Quidditch practice aftermath, featuring Ginny

It was impossible to separate Lucy and Ginny on the Quidditch Pitch, so I shouted "Oi! Do something funny!" as I lifted the camera to my face.

Ginny instantly tossed aside her Beater bat and jumped into a mud puddle with a flying leap, making a splash so spectacular it covered Lucy from head to toe. Lucy spat mud out of her mouth, laughing as she did so. Her shouted "HOW DARE YOU!" was clear even though it was just a moving picture and not a video. The loop ended just as Lucy scooped up a handful of mud and slung it Ginny's direction.

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October 12, 1996 — Saturday night chess game, featuring Ron (who won)

Lucy was staring at the chess board with a furrowed brow, thumb once again pressed over her mouth in concentration. Just before the loop ended, her eyes lit up, and she smiled as she moved her queen with confidence.

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October 14, 1996 — up to no good

Lucy had been abnormally withdrawn all day, and I had noticed, and Ginny had noticed, so, after dinner, we approached her with a prank idea. She had agreed, a bit reluctantly, but her spirits improved considerably once we started setting everything up. Snape was going to have a hard time teaching with all of the WWW profanity fireworks that were going to go off at ten-minute intervals the next day. I snapped the picture just as Lucy charmed the last one to stick to the bottom of his desk and turned to face me with a wild grin.

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October 16, 1996 — "Harry, again?" "I'm sorry, I can't help it, you're so cute when you're talking about how we're going to crush Slytherin on the Quidditch Pitch." "Put the camera down, I'm going to kiss you for that."

Lucy, hiding with me from the rain in one of the staircases of the Quidditch Pitch as we had our weekly co-captain meeting, hands moving as she animatedly explained the Chaser formation, no longer content to just point at Xs on a piece of parchment. Her eyes narrowed when she spotted the camera, just before the loop ended and she started talking.

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October 18, 1996 — memories

Lucy's back was to the camera as she braced herself against the side of the Pensieve with both hands. It was just after our second lesson with Dumbledore, and we had gone back to the Room of Requirement because she wanted to show me another memory of her life with the Everlins, before. I snapped the picture after watching the memory, of Claire giving Lucy a blue toy lightsaber for her birthday. The dim light of the swirling silver memories made the outline of Lucy's silhouette glow, ethereal and almost unreal. Lucy's shoulders rose and fell slowly as she composed herself with a deep breath that could almost be heard, even though it was just a moving picture and not a video. Lucy may have been bracing herself against the Pensieve, but her head was held high. Strong. Proud. Even as she wondered. Even as she waited.

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LUCY:

October 20, 1996. Harry didn't take a picture of me that day. It was Cedric's birthday. I spent the day with Gretch, who had just returned to school after going home for her mum's funeral, and with Neville, who, like me, wanted to help however possible. Harry was waiting for me in my dormitory when I returned that night, and he just held me while I let myself cry for the first time that day. Immediately after he left, Ginny appeared, and she stayed with me all night. I was glad for that, but Merlin, I wished Harry could have been there too. Life was unfair, death was unfair.

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HARRY:

October 20, 1996. I didn't take a picture of Lucy that day. It was Cedric's birthday. She spent the day in the Hufflepuff common room with Gretch and Neville. I was waiting for her in her dormitory when she returned that night, Hermione and Ginny having let me up, and I just held her while she cried for what I assumed was the first time that day. I passed Ginny on my way back to the common room, and she announced that she was going to stay with Lucy all night. I was glad for that, but Merlin, I wished I could be there too. Life was unfair, death was unfair.

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October 22, 1996 — Chocolate Frog cards: "Yes, that's a jellyfish!"

Lucy was surrounded by a small group of first-year Muggle-borns, who were all gazing with wonder at her scrapbook of Chocolate Frog cards. Her eyes had been sad earlier in the conversation when she had explained that she only had so many because her brother had died and she had added his cards to her collection, but she was smiling and nodding in the picture as she pointed to the Uric the Oddball card. All of the kids around her laughed, which made her smile grow.

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October 24, 1996 — someone stole my camera

My camera disappeared, only to appear again that night on my bed with a picture lying beside it. In it, Lucy and I were working across from each other at one of the tables in the common room. She stole a glance at me before returning to work on her essay. As soon as she looked down, I looked up at her, stealing a quick glance before returning my attention to the textbook in front of me. And on and on and on and on and on the picture looped. Only the two of us were in the frame of the picture, so I had no clues about the identity of the camera thief. Ron? Ginny? Hermione? Whoever it was, they were sneaky, and maybe they were onto us, but in the meantime, they had managed to take a cute picture, and I appreciated that much, at least.

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October 26, 1996. No picture, because it was the full moon. That night, I found myself hiding in my bed with the curtains pulled shut, a silencing spell erected so my roommates couldn't hear my panic attack. Ron seemed to know anyway, though, because the curtains parted around midnight.

"You're shaking so much I swear your bed is rattling," he said gently as he lowered himself onto my bed and rested a hand on my shoulder. "It's going to be alright, mate. At least there's not a thunderstorm this month. It's not even raining all that hard."

"I know, it's just — just — what if something goes wrong?" I whispered.

Ron nodded. "I know. Trust me, I — I understand the worry. That's my sister out there, with one of my best friends. I get anxious too. But they've always been alright before, and us worrying won't make their night any easier. We just have to hope for the best and be ready to help however we can in the morning."

I wasn't sure what to say for a moment. Somehow, in all of my own selfish worry for Lucy, I had managed to forget that Ginny could get hurt too. I really should have known better than anyone that Ginny wasn't invincible — I was the one who had saved her from the Chamber of Secrets. But she was still Ginny, and she had always seemed invincible and unflappable in spite of everything.

"I don't see how hoping for the best helps anyone," I admitted. "I know worry doesn't help either, but hope? What's the point of that?"

"I choose to hope for the best, because it's better than expecting a 'worst' that may or may not come." Ron sighed. "I do still worry, though, and I don't usually sleep on full moons. D'you want to play a game of chess with me?"

"Sure," I replied, knowing that the game of chess was as much to help Ron as it was to help me.

He won, because of course he won. I didn't feel much better, but the most intense of the panic had slowly ebbed away over the course of the game. He felt better too, and he drifted off to sleep soon after we returned to bed. I got up, though, and found my way back to Lucy's window seat, where I tried to hold onto hope as tight as I possibly could.