chapter twenty-one
grief is a strange concept

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄 ask when they find out that Grace cannot age is what is it like? What is it like to not age as a normal person would? And truth be told, Grace had no answer. She only had her own, personal experience. Her default answer, whenever she didn't want to talk about it, is that it was a strange feeling to not age. Perhaps that was part of the truth, but it wasn't the whole of it.

In fact, the whole truth was that it was a horrible feeling. Every person she ever met would inevitably die while she remained the same age as before. She watched as people she loved lived their lives while she didn't.

Peggy had grown old and had a family. She had her own children and grandchildren. Grace was happy to be Aunt Gracie to them, but all she wanted was a family of her own. But she knew that would never happen. It couldn't.

Grace knelt down against the soil as she laid a bouquet of flowers next to a tombstone. She traced the name with her fingers and let out a breath. "Hello, Colonel," she said quietly.

When Colonel Chester Phillips died only ten years after the end of the war, Grace was one of the first to be informed. In fact, the news had come from Howard himself and her first reaction was that she didn't believe him. Colonel Phillips had filled the void her father had emptied and became the father figure that she needed in her life; he was always available whenever she wanted or needed to talk. And when she was told he had died, he was only the first in a long line of people she loved who would die before her.

"I hope you're well, Colonel," she continued with a heavy sigh. Even if it had been nearly fifty years since his death, she still visited every month, just as she had in the past. She chuckled softly, shaking her head. "That's a silly question, you must be well. You don't have to live with the craziness of the world anymore. You don't have to go through life watching everybody you love slowly leave you."

Grace's thoughts wandered to her oldest friend. Peggy was currently in an assisted living facility and she visited whenever she could. As painful as it was to see her best friend in a state of decline, she always had a soft smile on her face. Regardless of what she was feeling, she refused to let Peggy see her any differently than when they had both been young.

"I never properly thanked you, Colonel," Grace said, looking back at the tombstone that bared both his and his wife's name. "For always listening to my silly complaints and problems. You were more of a father than my own was. And you listened to me more than Howard ever did." She felt a breeze blow through her hair and she smiled softly. "I guess that means you're listening still." She let out a small breath. "You gave me a chance when nobody else would. You didn't even know if I could do it but you believed in me. And for that... for that, I will never be able to repay you." She stood up and dusted the dirt on her pants. "I'll see you next month."

She continued down the path toward another tombstone where she laid two bouquets of flowers. She swallowed the growing lump in her throat and pursed her lips.

𝙷𝙾𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙳 𝙰𝙽𝚃𝙷𝙾𝙽𝚈 𝚆𝙰𝙻𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝙺

𝙰𝚄𝙶𝚄𝚂𝚃 𝟷𝟻, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟽 — 𝙳𝙴𝙲𝙴𝙼𝙱𝙴𝚁 𝟷𝟼, 𝟷𝟿𝟿𝟷

𝙷𝚄𝚂𝙱𝙰𝙽𝙳, 𝙵𝙰𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁, 𝙱𝚁𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁,
𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙱𝚄𝚂𝙸𝙽𝙴𝚂𝚂𝙼𝙰𝙽

Grace let out a breath while looking at her brother's gravesite. "Hi, Howie," she whispered, kneeling beside the tombstone. "It's been seventeen years this December... and it still feels like yesterday that I found out you died."

She shook her head and rubbed her lips together. "Tony is starting to make his mark on the world," she said with a small smile. "He's finally become CEO, just like you always wanted him to be. He stopped making weapons. I don't know what he exactly plans to do with the business, but he wants to help people. You'd be proud of the man he's becoming. Though, I think Maria deserves the credit more than you."

She sighed and ran a hand over her face. "Why couldn't you have been there for him?" she asked. "All he wanted was for his father to come to his science fair demonstrations. You didn't have to play catch with him. He just wanted your love. Just like I did. You had a second chance, Howard, with your son, but you ignored him. The one person you were supposed to love unconditionally, and you didn't.

"His eighth-grade science fair when he won first place. I was there. But where were you? On a business trip that you insisted couldn't be rescheduled even though you were the boss. His graduation? You were nowhere to be found." She shook her head and stood up. "I thought you changed when you met Maria. Apparently, you didn't."

⸻ ~~~ ⸻

"𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍, 𝐓𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘-seven," Tony said while Grace held her head in her hand. She was sitting at his extremely messy desk and watching her nephew attempt to make his flying suit. He was now wearing boots and had jets on his hands.

"You've made me come here every day for the past eleven days," she told him with a sigh. "Are you getting anywhere anytime soon because as much as I love you, little penguin, it's a little painful to watch you continually crash into walls."

"That was one time," he contradicted with a frown and she gave him a look. "Okay, more than once. And, yes, we are getting closer. Right, JARVIS?"

"I can't lie to Miss Stark, sir," JARVIS replied and Grace pursed her lips with a chuckle. "But if I must, yes, ma'am, he is getting close."

Grace nodded with a smile while Tony looked at his AI in annoyance. "Okay, I will continue to come. You may proceed, little penguin."

"Thank you." He cleared his throat. "For lack of a better option, Dummy is still on fire safety." Grace looked at the robot with a soft smile. "If you douse me again and I'm not on fire, I'm donating you to a city college."

"Oh, you'll never do that," Grace said, shaking her head. "You love Dummy too much to do that."

"You make it sound like I don't have any friends that aren't machines," Tony frowned and she shrugged.

"I'm pretty sure Rhodey is your only friend who isn't a machine," she replied, tilting her head. "I am simply stating facts, my dear nephew."

He rolled his eyes before returning to his previous task. "Alright, nice and easy. Seriously, just gonna start off with 1% thrust capacity. And three, two, one." Grace smiled softly when he rose off the ground and hovered before landing on the ground. "Okay." He looked at Dummy. "Please don't follow me around with it, either, 'cause I feel like I'm gonna catch on fire spontaneously. Just stand down! If something happens, then come in. And again, let's bring it up to 2.5. Three, two, one." With less control than before, Tony hovered in the air before flying around the workshop. Grace ducked under the desk as he flew in her direction. "Okay, this is where I don't want to be! Not the car, not the car, not the car! Table! Could be worse! Could be worse! We're fine!" She sat back down on the chair just as he landed where he began and Dummy has his fire extinguisher out. "No! Uh-uh! Uh-uh!" Dummy backed away in disappointment. "Yeah, I can fly."

Grace nodded and walked over toward him. "For further tests, I am requesting that Dummy remains with you." Dummy perked up at those words. "Are you sure you didn't build a dog?" she asked her nephew while watching the robot's different emotions. "Anyway, he has his priorities right. But good job, little penguin."

"I'll call you when I have the suit fully ready," he said and she nodded.

"I will be here. Please try and sleep. I don't need any more calls from Rhodey and Pepper about how worried they are that you aren't sleeping," she told him with a sigh. She kissed his forehead and started out of the lab. "Dummy, JARVIS, keep an eye on him for me."

⸻ ~~~ ⸻

"𝐖𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐔𝐏, 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑, 𝐀𝐍𝐃 say goodbye to your father."

Grace was leaning in the doorway of her brother's large house just as Howard walked into the living room. His wife was playing piano and his son was laying on the couch.

"Who's the homeless person on the couch?" Howard asked with a frown and Grace shook her head at her brother.

"This is why I love coming home for Christmas..." Tony said with a sigh. "Right before you leave town. At least I get to see Aunt Gracie. She doesn't judge me for everything I do."

Howard shrugged. "Well, maybe she should," he replied making his sister roll her eyes. "It's clear you don't listen to me. Perhaps if she said something, you'd listen to her."

"I'm not doing your dirty work, Howard," Grace said, walking further into the room and kissing Maria's cheek. "I promised I would make sure he didn't burn your house down. Not change him from the person he is. I remember there was a time when you, my dear brother, were exactly like him."

"But then I met Maria and everything changed," he said. "I'll get the bags."

Grace sighed. "I love you, too." She hugged her sister-in-law. "Have a safe trip. Try and see if you can make him bearable again."

Maria laughed softly. "I can try my best." She turned to her son. "I love you, my sweet boy. We'll see you on Monday."

Grace wrapped her arm around her nephew's neck and pulled him close. "Looks like it's you and me, little penguin."

Tony nodded. "Just like always."

Tony had managed to fully finish his suit and could now fly. Granted, he needed some practice, but he had gotten out of his workshop and out into the real world. JARVIS was inside his suit and keeping informed.

Grace, meanwhile, was looking at the mess that was left from his collision. Dummy was currently putting out a fire. "You broke the roof, a piano, and one of your cars," she said, crossing her arms and looking at her nephew. "Was that part of the plan?"

"No."

"He did say 'kill power'," Jarvis informed the young brunette. "Which is what I did."

Grace nodded. "I didn't know your AI was a tattletale," she remarked and Tony nodded in agreement.

"Neither did I."

She held out a hand and he took it. With a groan, she pulled him off the car and looked him over for any injuries. "So how'd it go? Aside from crashing through your house and breaking your roof."

"It was good," he replied with a nod. "We're getting there. Just some design modifications and we're good to go."

Grace smiled softly. "Go with red," she said, picking up her purse and looking back at him. "Maybe some gold. They go well together."

"Bringing back your design skills?" he asked and she shrugged.

"I have missed it," she replied with a smile. "Don't do anything dumb, little penguin. I love you."

Grace was numb. Absolutely numb. They hadn't even made it out of the state. She looked down at the file handed to her and pursed her lips.

"Gracie?"

She blinked and wiped the stray tears from her cheeks. "Do—" Her voice was hoarse, as though it hadn't been used in weeks. She cleared her throat. "Do you know who did it?" she asked, looking up at the brunette.

Peggy shook her head. "No."

"Will you?"

"We're trying our best," Peggy replied with a sigh. "And as soon as we know something, you and Tony will be the first to know." Grace nodded wordlessly and dropped the file on her kitchen table. "I'm so sorry, Gracie, but I have to go."

She nodded. "Yeah. Thank you, Peg, for telling me."

"I wouldn't let anyone else. And I'll be sure to stop by Tony's and tell him, too. Unless you wanted to."

Grace sniffled and looked at her friend. "No, I can do it. It should come from me. I should tell him his parents are dead."

"Howard did love you, Gracie," Peggy said, the inventor's eyes filling with tears. "Even if he never showed it." She nodded and closed her eyes as heard her front door click shut.

Her hand covered her mouth as a sob escaped her lips. Tears traveled down her cheeks, thick and fast. Regardless of how fractured their relationship might have been, Howard was still her big brother. Her first friend. The person she would go to to seek refuge from their father's drunken actions.

"You can't be gone," she said, shaking her head. "You just can't be." She glanced at the framed picture of her and Howard that sat on her side table. She picked it up and traced her thumb over his smiling face. "I'll always love you, Howie. And I promise... I'll keep an eye on Tony."

⸻ ~~~ ⸻

an: sorry this took like
12,000 years to update.
Anyway, my mom forced me
to watch Civil War and I'm
not ready for Grace & Steve
during that...

Anyway, a question for people:

I'm planning on doing one-shots
after the book is finished (mostly
of stuff after endgame) and I've been thinking about how tony dies.
If I kept him alive (because I
wouldn't be able to handle it
again), can people give me ideas
on how thanos is defeated?
Thank you.