*lowercase intended*

smile - form one's features into a pleased, kind, or amused expression
the kind of expression i mostly see on insta posts
especially on HERs
considering HER name usually requires a "smile" to show it
and so did i
two people sharing the same name that unknowingly causes them pain

JOY - the feeling of great pleasure and happiness
but behind that screen, behind that smile
that picture that shows a thousand words
can also hide away a thousand lies
if i don't look into HER eyes
the window to HER soul, after all
i only scroll through my feed
stop and double tap whenever i see
something "pretty", something "perfect"
someONE that i can copy
to get that perfect body
and that would be HER

that ample bosom, plump hips, thin waist
whatever number packed abs
that hourglass figure models have
that smile that shows perfect white teeth
and that long hair flowing smoothly like liquid silver
shining bright like a diamond under the sun
leaving me stunned by HER beauty
how could i possibly be HER?

oh i know!
ok so weekly schedule
monday to saturday...actually make that sunday
wake up at 6am make sure everyone's still asleep
go out to the park run 30
break for 5 again run 30
DO NOT STOP
until you get that perfect body
e a t l e s s
throw away sweets, snacks
any food that'll make you "fat"
cz she certainly doesn't eat that
brush your teeth with some whitening toothpaste
or maybe soak it with baking soda wrapped in tin foil
wear extensions or maybe even a wig
hide that short choppy hair
DO NOT TAKE IT OFF
until your grows the right length
'cause HERs certainly doesn't look like that

weeks after weeks
the same routine
and slowly i become PERFECT
but what i didn't know was that being perfect comes with a price
the price being happiness and neglected friends and family
tearing away my sanity
obsessing with social media validation
keeping followers thinking that is a perfect person

what i didn't know was that she
hiding behind that smile
she went through it all already
intensive workouts, plastic surgery
starving herself to death as she puts on a smile
for millions of followers to see her "perfect side" through a screen
she feels as if she's a robot programmed with ONE emotion
but wait...robots doesn't feel emotions
they only follow "instructions"

what i didn't know was that she
hiding behind that smile
is a girl broken, lost and still running a mile
each and every single day
and at night crying until her tears run dry
as time pass by
constantly asking why

why did i do it?
why did I make those sacrifices?
why didn't i just stay and accept
accept that not everyone is perfect
especially behind that screen
nor will they ever be because
we humans are the definition of

PERFECTLY IMPERFECT

~ joy💙

I was really happy when I wrote this because it was the first poem I wrote after such a long writer's block😭. Funny enough, it was for an English project HAHA and I don't really like English that much idk why😅

This was kind of my own take on how I view social media influencers and imagining myself as them and what I would do or what I would've done.

Anyhow how are y'all feeling at the moment?