-Gassy-

"Max... do you like him?" I nearly cough out the drink I just sipped out of as Elaine leans over me while I had been focusing on the game which I have now died in. Sighing when I see my character thrown across the screen and the game over screen pops up. Turning towards Elaine she's smirking directly towards me with a mischievous glint in her eyes as she looks to me seemingly waiting for the answer. Glancing over to the only guy she could be referring to I watch him smiling nervously as Alice is punching his shoulder and challenging him to the fighting game right beside them seeming way too excited to play.

"Him? Not really, like that at least. Elaine, I'm not really interested in that right now," I sigh causing her to frown and crosses her arms as she looks back to Mark and Alice both battling each other now. While Alice is smashing the buttons with a huge smile on her face, Mark is nervously pressing the buttons seeming completely lost at what he should be doing. I'm guessing he isn't much of a gamer, considering his lack of understanding references I've made before and my lack of understanding his references to some "famous" research he's made before, we don't have much in common beyond our own experiences at the base. Maybe that's why I was glad when him and Ze got along well, so he has someone else with similar interests, although I know Ze has a bit of a spectrum in his interests ranging from fiction to science. Now that they're fighting... I guess I don't know what to do to help out or anything, or if I even should.

"But he's the first guy you've actually introduced me to. And... annd it's been forever since Ze, you should start being interested in that again. Mark seems nice," Elaine pushes and I just roll my eyes and look over to Mark, who just seems down as Alice laughs in his face. Like that? I doubt Mark is even gay to begin with, there's always that factor that most normal people think about. I've been surrounded by people who like their same gender I sometimes forget that a majority of the country are not so fond with the idea of loving your own gender. I think there was a period of time in which I believed Ze wasn't like that either and yet that turned out well. "If you were interested in that kind of thing, is he one of the ones you'd think of?"

"Elaine, knock it off. I'm fine by myself for now. Just wait a little, alright? I'm figuring things out," I say, completely vague but true. I can't tell her Ze is back and he's the main source of my feelings becoming jumbled up. While I had never seen Mark ever romantically at all, I haven't actually thought about being together with anybody other than Ze who is now completely uninterested. At the thought I feel a lot colder and hurt as I recall Ze as he is today, the last person who would see me like that ever again now that I'm basically the person who brought him into his captivity now as a prisoner of ours. Elaine begins to giggle and seems like she's having fun watching me as much as she's being nosy just like always.

"Your face changed, you were thinking about somebody. Who was it? Do I know him or her?" Elaine teases, pulling at my arm with an absolutely happy expression that shows just how much fun she's having with just playing with me. If she knew the one I'm thinking about is Ze, the one she says I should be getting over mainly because she thinks he's dead. I... don't know how I feel about the new Ze to be honest, mainly because he's completely different yet the same all at once. I don't think... I'll ever forget about Ze though. This just isn't the time to think about those kinds of things while I'm not even sure about anything. If I do anything like that I'll become more distracted even more than I usually am. I still... need to just... forget about those memories, like he did. But... what happens... if he gets his back? I honestly don't know what the fuck I'm doing or will do. I don't like just ignoring it and end up moping about it because I'm trying to ignore it, but I can't just confront him again and have him start avoiding me again. He's just barely starting to let me be a little closer to him again, he's barely acting a bit like normal around me. I don't want to ruin that.

"You're imagining things. Sorry, Elaine, but I have other things on my mind right now to worry about. Just... focus on school, don't bother with me," I urge but she still frowns in disappointment, her teenage side showing wanting everything to be a perfect romance like always. At the same time it feels like she pities me for what happened with Ze, it's like she feels partially guilty as well because of her tiny involvement. I know well she had nothing to do with Ze's capture and downfall but I also know how it feels to blame yourself because of something that was beyond your control. Sighing, I tighten my grasp around her shoulders and pat her head. In the end, she really is a girl who hung out constantly with a man years ago when he suddenly died. At least as far as she knows, he died. I feel bad, I've been keeping a lot from her all about Ze but I can't do anything about it, it's classified information the world doesn't know yet and considering despite the petition having passed, the whole Ze is innocent debate is still running hot. This girl... worries too kuch, but then again I'd be surprised if she didn't worry a lot when everything seems a bit fucked up right now. "I'm fine, I'm fine, girl. I've been doing a lot better lately anyways, and plus I've gotten to spend a lot more time with you. I'm better than ever right now, trust me."

"F-...Fine, I'll let you take more time. You're gonna get old though and no guys will like you then," Elaine complains loudly but I just laugh and nod, well aware I may be well older than her when the next time comes when I can actually worry about that stuff. Elaine blinks in curiosity when she looks at me before turning away and pull in away from my grasp. Before leaving me completely on my own she turns back around and lifts a finger before her mouth with a wink. "But I still think he's cute enough for you. I'll be going to see what Alice is doing," she teases as she hurries over to the other two seeming too excited about the entire situation. Sighing I tap the machine in front of me with my fist, my mind completely distracted by what Elaine just said. I've been too focused on stupid romance stuff like that because I haven't had much work to keep my mind occupied at all times.

The base is nearly prepared to start initiating attacks once again, but when that time comes we don't know which place we can even go. We're almost ready to get back into action, and when the time comes we'll have to interrogate Ze one more time to suck out any other information we can get before resorting to taking wild guesses in the direction I know of. Without anybody acting we're losing time we could be advancing on them with so we'd have to attack blindly within the next few weeks. Yeah, I should be worrying about this stuff over the other things, as much as I'd like to obsess over my ex it'd probably better not to. Come to think of it, Ze and I never broke up. The realization that should have probably been unsurprising, surprisingly affects me a lot with the realization. Oh shit, this is the reason. That's the reason I haven't been able to let him go, it's because we never had the finalizing chat that we were officially over, completely done with. But if I went up to him now and tell him I want a break up he'd just be confused I'd be asking about that from a guy who didn't know we were ever together. Damn, if Ze knew what he was doing he'd ow how selfish it seems he'd being right now, dumping all of the worrying and bad feelings onto me.

"What's the matter?" Shocked by the sudden voice I feel like I have to shove all of my thoughts away as if the man could physically see my thoughts and quickly turn towards Mark who seems genuinely concerned. "You're making that strange expression again. What's on your mind?" Thankfully he can't actually physically see my thoughts, but he's pretty damn close to. Looking at this man up and down, what Elaine said to me pops in my head and I immediately turn away. Damn Elaine, if it wasn't for her I'd never think of this guy any more than just a normal guy like all of my other friends. Of course... this guy is a lot like Ze, motivated and ready to research and does anything he can to help me out... but that's the problem, he's just like Ze when he first came to the base as a scientist. I don't want an exact repeat of what happened with Ze.

"Just... thinking about what's next with the base.... Hey, Mark, you had a fight with Ze, didn't you?" Immediately his expression turns sour and he avoids my eyes, clearly answering my question. The whole reason I agreed to taking him out here is because I wanted to cheer him up, both him and Ze but I'll talk to Ze about it later. Although he and I aren't what we used to be, he can still be my friend while he doesn't remember shit. I've been slowly and gladly coming into terms with this, becoming more and more comfortable around Ze even when his memories are missing. I hope we can actually become the friends we were before we got together again at least. At best we'd... well, I can wildly hope for things as well even if I feel like it might never come true.

"It was nothing. We just had a small argument. It's not like it's going to affect my work or anything-"

"I'm not asking you if it'll affect your work, stupid," I say before he can go into his superficial mode again he goes into whenever work is mentioned. I hit the top of his head with my fist causing him to flinch and look up towards me with confused eyes. "I'm asking you if you're okay. Even if it was a small argument, you idolized the man. You don't just fight with your role model and walk away feeling completely fine," I explain my thoughts and he looks down and away from me. I knew it, especially with how much this guy was excited to talk about Ze with me, about Ze whom he admired so much to the point of me being jealous Ze had someone to worship him so much. That's right, I used to get jealous for Ze an awful lot. I still do, for stupid people like Nanners who would never in his right mind think about cheating on Chilled but there's always that ugly feeling in the back of my head and this feeling of still being together with Ze.

"I... I'm fine. It really was just a small argument, about him getting his memories back," Mark complains and I immediately hesitate. They talked about... that? Realizing the entire situation with the single sentence explanation, I sigh and hit his head again with my fist causing him I to flinch and holds onto his head in pain.

"Stop it. You can't just force him to remember, or to want to remember. Just let Ze be Ze, he's a little slow and stupid at first but he always pulls through."

"You have that much faith in him?" When I just smile and nod memories coming back to me from every time I doubted Ze and every time he proved those doubts wrong. Mark sighs loudly and looks in the opposite direction from me, seeming a bit irritated from my answer. "I'm not pressuring him to do anything. I'm just telling him that he's wrong and selfish. You should know better than anybody, he's being a selfish prick." I laugh. I can't help it, what he said is so very true I can't help but laugh, halfway in bitterness but also halfway in warm happiness as I recall Ze.

"Yeah, yeah I definitely know. But when you get to know him better you'll find out his selfishness is all just talk. He's all talk, no bite. Well, I guess a little bite especially now. Just trust me, Mark, and try to make up with him. If you really don't like him as a person, just try to make up for him for the sake of science. He's got a lot of useful information when you ask him about stuff in the lab. Since he joined you guys, your research speed has nearly doubles, Diction and I are having difficulties giving you guys enough work. Anyways, we should get back to the girls," I mention and look up to the two girls but while Alice seems normal I get the feeling that Elaine does not want us to rejoin them. She's having her fun monopolizing Alice out here in a place like this, like she always likes to do when the three of us are anywhere together. Oh well.

"I'll... I don't need him," Mark mutters and I glance over to him, a bit shocked at the dark expression he has and the dark aura radiating off of him. "I could research at double of what we are now without him. He's been out of the game for more than two years, he can't be better than me. I don't need to make up with him."

"That's not what I meant when I sai-" before I can even finish he passes by me and heads over to the two girls and immediately his dark aura turns into one of happiness as he plays with the girls with the machine before them. I feel like I imagined what I just saw a few seconds ago. I guess... Mark is one of those people, I never noticed before. The kind to hide their true feelings and attitudes in the blink of an eye, so quick to seem completely normal in front of others. Sighing in defeat I follow after him and smile as the three seem to have fun playing one of those racing games, with Elaine battling Mark seeming to both take the game too seriously. I stand behind the chairs they're sitting in along with Alice who seems to be staring at me way too much. When I glance over to her, appeasing her wants she smiles sweetly.

"I have a date with a cute boy from work," Alice says suddenly and I immediately cough in surprise, as does Elaine who seems to slam her foot on the gas of the makeshift game. I ignore Elaine and raise an eyebrow to Alice who keeps her confident smile as she suddenly points towards me with a determined expression. "I have a date so it's time for you to get one. It's time for you to move on. Got it, Gassy? You need to move the fuck on."

"Y-... I guess, I'm not planning on dating anyone anytime soon though," I mutter and Alice immediately shakes her head and crosses her arms.

"We all know dating someone else is the best way to move on. And now that I am, it's time for you as well! I can hook you up, you want a girl or boy? I know several good-looking-"

"Alice, that's enough," I snap, causing her to stop and frown in annoyance but before she can go on to ramble on and on about her case I shake my head and turn back to the game Elaine is clearly losing. "I'll talk to you later about it, Alice. We can have this discussion another time."

"Is that a promise? The last time I wanted to talk to you, you blocked my number." I look over to her, half hoping that the same scenario would play out and she would have no way to communicate with me. Sighing I nod and take her hand, making a shake on it.

"I promise. We'll talk about it seriously later. Anyways, it's getting late. Can you take Elaine home? I need to take Mark back and check up on a few things back on base," I explain and she nods as Elaine and Mark get out of their seats, Elaine extremely slowly with a lost expression on her face. I wonder if she'll be okay when she looks like that. She must be in shock, after always being Alice's "number one" in every scenario, now that Alice suddenly has a boyfriend she must be shocked. I can just hope she doesn't say anything stupid to Alice while they're in the car, because Alice gets easily offended and Elaine blurts out her thoughts every once in a while. I need to take Mark back though, and maybe check up on a few things just to make complete sure the base is ready for close.

"I'll see you home, Elaine," I say as Elaine nods and smiles weakly before climbing into a car with Alice as I watch carefully. After they've disappeared form sight, I also climb into my own car with Mark following after on the passenger side. Now alone with this guy I feel a bit uncomfortable after witnessing something that seemed like I shouldn't have. But... I feel slightly responsible for whatever Ze and him fought about, since the only reason Mark would even care about Ze's memories would have to do with me and my own memories with him that had been torturing me.

"Will you talk to Ze?"

"No." The short and immediate answer causes me to frown and glance over to him to find that he's leaning on the door and looking out observing the land outside of the window. He's really upset, I wonder if it was something I said. I meant every word with good intentions but maybe he just... didn't want to hear the fucking truth I guess. Sighing I grip tightly onto the steering wheel and pay close attention to the road.

"Mark-"

"I don't even care about him anymore, trust me. It was just a phase." Jesus, he's acting like a little kid. I sigh in defeat and focus on returning him to base. The moment we arrive he escapes the car quickly and hurries inside the base leaving me just following behind him a lot slower than his speeding. He doesn't have to start avoiding me as well just because he's a bit upset with one single thing I said to him. He's like an overly-sensitive teenager, but then again, he is pretty young compared to a majority of base so it's understandable. I think he's actually the same age as Ze was when he first got to this base... those are some good memories. When I first met him. He's just so clumsy. At least he was, I'm not so sure anymore. He seems to be... more clean cut as a Hidden, probably trained by the Hidden to stop being so clumsy. That's a bit... upsetting.

"Oh hey, Gassy," I hear a familiar voice soon after I enter base and turn towards the man who seems a bit tired. "You're still here? Have you not finished work yet?"

"No, I finished. Just stopping by again to check I actually did it all while I'm here," I explain and Nanners nods slowly, seeming a bit distracted by something else, which isn't very like him.

"You should go see Ze while you're here," Nanners says, surprising me but he just shrugs when he sees my surprise and glances down in the direction of Ze's room. "He got a lot more sick after you left. His fever is really high, with no one else to watch over him I had been looking after him. But now that you're here you should go and see him." I raise an eyebrow, a bit upset to admit I feel a bit of jealousy when I learn Nanners has been the one to take the task of watching after him upon himself but I nod and pass him to go check on the little trouble-maker. Nanners... owes a lot to Ze, so I should understand why he always feels the need to protect him. Ze did literally save Nanners' life and after that he even looked after him, if it wasn't for Ze, Nanners would have been dead either by IRIS or the Hidden. Not only that but Ze has always also looked after Chilled, those two being closer than any two best friends I've seen. I guess, Nanners and Chilled are both close to him now even after the loss of memories. It makes me a bit upset and jealous they get to have the kind and friendly Ze while he still continues to avoid me when he can.

I hesitate before opening the door I' e become familiar with over the years but I force the door open and find complete darkness. Closing the door behind me just in case I glance around and the entire room already feels hotter than the rest of the base and Ze is breathing heavily and quickly in unhealthy sounding pants. Inching closer to his bed I find him gripping onto his sheets tightly and his eyes shut tightly as he breathes in and out at a dangerous rate. He really has become a whole lot sicker compared to the last time I checked up on him. Slipping off the towel already on his forehead I lay my hand on his forehead finding it burning despite barely having a towel on there. I've never seen Ze this sick before, I've seen him greatly injured and bawling his eyes out but nothing compares to this pained expression right now. My hand slides down to his cheeks and I find myself lost looking at him before forcing myself to turn away from him and soak the towel again. I turn away from him and start to walk over to the bathroom before something tugs at the edge of my shirt forcing me back. Turning around curiously towards the source I'm probably more surprised than I should be when I discover the source is Ze's hand.

"M-Max, that's you, right?" I gulp and nod, not accustomed to hearing him say my name like that. Even before, he always stuck to Gassy mainly because it was easier for him to say when that's what he remembered me as. Suddenly his grasp on my shirt is released but he reaches out and grabs onto my arms, pulling me down onto the bed on top of him. "I knew it. You must have been worried about me, you're always so... so worried about me," Ze mutters, slowly seeming like he'll pass out at any moment. He has to be dreaming, sleep talking or something like that because there is absolutely no way he'd do this to me when he was conscious in the mindset he owns now, his brainwashed mindset.

"Ze, let go of me. I need to go get some medicine for-"

"Ah don't worry about that shit. I'll get better pretty fast.... Actually, you're right. Get the fuck off me," he suddenly says and pushes me off the bed causing me to flinch as he pushes at me with all of his strength surprisingly. "Oh shit, I'm sorry. I forgot I'm stronger now... I just didn't want you to get sick," Ze says seeming genuinely upset. He must be... definitely unconscious. Delirious probably, his fever does seem dangerously high. Is this his unconscious speaking, with his memories still intact? This is going to hurt me more than he'd ever imagine.

"Ze, go back to sleep," I order and pick myself up and off the ground he threw me on and pat down my own clothes. When I hear a small whimpering I widen my eyes and look to Ze who is literally crying as he sits on the bed. I stare blankly, completely lost at what to do in front of the crying man and look around wildly for something I can do to calm him. Jesus, this is like taking care of a drunk person.

"Gassy... Max, I'm s-sorry," Ze whimpers out, shocking me as he continually wipes his tears away from his face but still more keel coming. "Max... I can't remember, I'm sorry. I'm a-afraid of remembering b-but... I d-don't want to remember or else I won't want to l-leave you again. M-Maaax," he starts whining and I feel sudden pain and I feel like those walls I had been building for years to keep Ze out of my heart are now crumbling. "I-I don't want to remember but I w-wanna remember you. But now you're all g-good with the other researcher a-and... I love you Maaax," he continues whining while repeatedly wiping at his face. What's up with everyone thinking that Mark is the new Ze, even Mark wants to replace him. I shake my head and wipe the thoughts out of my mind. This isn't Ze, this is crazy Ze talking. I shouldn't let him get to my head. But suddenly he crawls off the bed seeming in a hurry and dashes towards me, charging me with a hug as his arms wrap around my waist tightly.

"Z-Ze! Go back to bed, you're s-sick!" I order but his grasp on me remains tight and his tears are beginning to soak the front of my shirt. He suddenly looks up to me and I barely realize just how close he is for the first time in years, with his eyes and... and lips so close to me.

"I'm sorry..." He trails off and I sigh, giving up finally. Caressing his cheek, I turn his head away from me and pull in his head towards my shoulder and wrap my other arm around him, reassuringly.

"Don't be sorry," I mutter, patting his back carefully trying my best to comfort the delirious man. "Whatever you do, don't be sorry. It's not your fault. It was... as much as I hate to admit it, it was fate. We were driven apart, I'm sorry Ze. We're broken up now," I mutter carefully and immediately feel cold pain in my chest. All of these years... with him and without him... I never would have guessed that I'd be the one to break up with him. Ze becomes silent in my grasp, even the sobbing stops with those words and I begin to wonder if he fell asleep. When I pull him away from me and look at him I find his eyes are wide open seemingly in shock and I immediately feel terrible. "Z-Ze, snap out of it. I... You, we're both.... I'm sorry Ze, you're not the same as old Ze and I'm not the same as I was years ago. And it's best we... end this, you without a chance to regain your memories right now and with me being busy with work. I... I'll always protect you though, Ze, you can have that promise." Ze stares at nothing in particular with wide eyes before suddenly pulling away from me and turning his back to me.

"I'm going to sleep." Without another word he collapses onto the bed and it seems like he just fell asleep. I take in a shaky breath before tucking him in carefully and hurrying back to wet the towel like I was originally planning on doing. When I enter the bathroom I take another shaky breath and look up to the mirror. Shit, I look like shit. I'm... even crying, I didn't even realize seeing Ze emotional like that made me emotional as well. Fuck.... I did... the right thing though, didn't I? Shaking my head I return to Ze and place the towel on his forehead, silently listening to the shaky breaths he's taking in his sleep. Sighing, I slink down by the bed, sitting and hold my head in my hands. I can't go out into the halls like this when I feel like I did something I'm going to regret for the rest of my life. I had never thought I would be the one. Never. To break his heart. Fuck.