-Ze-

"So how much do you actually remember?" Gassy suddenly asks causing me to to hesitate and look away from him while his eyes are completely focused on me when he should be focused on eating. I, on the other hand, focus on the delicious flavors of breakfast I nearly completely forgot existed in the first place. Elaine's cooking will always be better than base cafeteria food, and I haven't had anything besides base cafeteria food in literally ages.

"What do you mean?" I ask in between bites causing Gassy to roll his eyes and points his form in my direction.

"Like I haven't noticed you remember a lot more than you like to admit. You remembered Elaine, all about Chilled, and quite a bit about the base. If Elaine hasn't been able to complain or say anything is different, I'd be willing to bet you remember everything." I stay silent, continuing to ear feeling more and more awkward with this guy just getting right answers left and right. Maybe I should leave early, I'll apologize to Elaine and Alice and just escape before Gassy makes it so I've lost all of the will I had to leave. Taking a deep breath I lay the fork down on the empty plate and stare at the left over swirls on the plate form the sauces before raising from my seat and grab my dirty plate.

"Yeah, I remember a few things. It's not like I can tell you all that I remember. There're just too many random things," I complain, which was true when I had only remembered random things.

"What about the whole thing about dawn? I was awake this morning at that time, you know," Gassy calls out and I freeze for a second in shock and glance back to him. Our eyes make contact the moment I looked back at him and I immediately turn away and continue towards the kitchen. I gave it away, but he should have known I remember that though considering all of the times I mentioned dawn to somebody. When I first had the memory I constantly had the craving of seeing dawn because it was comforting, and now that I remembered it fully I feel like I should avoid dawn or else I'd break out crying alone with just the memories. Soaking the plate in water and scrubbing at the plate surface I force the small particles of food off and when it's completely clean I place it in the drying rack and feel slightly hesitant when I hear Gassy walk into the kitchen and hands me his plate as well I just take without a word. "So you do remember. How about that one trip we made when you and Chilled were doing research off base?"

"I don't fucking know man, are you trying to combust by brain trying to force me to remember everything?" I complain and he just chuckles and leans on the counter beside me, his eyes refusing to leave me. This guy... he just won't quit. What happened to before when he's get grumpy right away and refuse to talk to me afterwards?

"Then the trip where you met Alice, and you found our Nanners and I were traitors. I know you remember Elaine, how about meeting me at that Hidden base when you were working with them against your will? The trip to that snowy place? How about the time I nearly killed you-"

"Jesus, why are you bringing it all back? It doesn't look the best in your favor," I interrupt him before I even think about the terrible feelings I had back with those events. Gassy smirks and leans in closer to me seeming to be a bit mischievous again with a playful glint in his eyes. This ass is testing me, he's testing me seeing just how much I'll be willing to lie to him and how much he can get out of me simply by my reactions. I have to stop being so goddamn readable, but most people wouldn't be able to read others as well as Gassy does in the first place as my excuse.

"So you do remember?"

"F-Fuck if I know. What is with you? You're not going to change my mind about leaving," I complain and he just smiles and follows me as I pat my hands dry and leave the kitchen. I'm fully aware of his steps all closely following behind me nearly in synchronization with by own.

"I'm happy," he says suddenly, something I wasn't expecting to hear randomly. I stop and turn back to him surprised to see him continue walking towards me and I immediately step back but I can't avoid him as he suddenly wraps his arms around me and rests his cheek against mine. I freeze, unable to even pull away by the sudden actions that happened within a second. "You don't know how happy it made me when I saw you asleep there with Elaine. You don't know how relieved I was to see you haven't abandoned me yet. It made me so happy, I'm happy and want to know everything about you. What you've been doing in the past two years, things you remember, how you're feeling. I just want to know more of it." I blush but stay still, afraid if I push him away he'll see my red face and consider it to be an approval of what he's doing.

"G-Gassy, this is a big change from usual were you really that happy?" I tease but he stays still, his grasp on me only tightening.

"Of course." I burn up and look down to where his face is and I feel even more embarrassed when I see the tips of his ears are red. He's actually embarrassed, he's giving up his own dignity, his hard front he always has on in front of others all for me. Without thinking much I look down and press my head towards him as well, feeling oddly comfortable in this position. "I treasure every moment we have together, so when I thought I would never have another moment I was terrified. But when I saw you here and knew that my treasure was still here with me, I became so insanely happy like the greedy son of a bitch I am," he murmurs and I instantly feel even more embarrassed if that was even possible. I close my eyes for two seconds before picking my head up and lift my hand to his chest, attempting to separate him from me and it works, slightly. He pulls away but he raises a hand over mine over his chest and he looks to me with this expression that keeps me caught in his gaze. Quickly I shake my head internally and look away from him and to some random spot in the room.

"You're so goddamn cheesy. Don't you have work or something to do?" I complain and he just smiles and let's go of my hand. My hand stays lingering on his chest before I return it to my side and hold onto it with my other hand as if having it there physically hurt it. "Weren't you supposed to work all night last night too? I doubt Diction would let you leave early with that much work."

"I finished it all quickly so I could come home as quick as possible to see you," he explained simply, oblivious to just how much that affects my heart. "I needed to see you before you ran off again. I needed to see you to convince you to stay here," he says softly and raises a hand to my cheek, his thumb rubbing my cheek bone before he drops his hand back to his side and sighs. "But I know that'll be impossible with how we are now. So I'll settle for one more night," he says simply with a smile that seems like he believes I'll fall for it. I roll my eyes and turn away from him, continuing to the couch and sit on the edge watching him as he follows me.

"I'm not staying here another night. The plan was until tonight," I say sternly and he just chuckles and his hand posts my head, messing with my hair a bit too much before taking a seat beside me.

"If you meant what you said the moment before escaping you'd stay."

"The moment before-?" I stop myself and immediately burn up when I realize exactly what he's talking about. I wasn't thinking straight, plus I thought I'd never see him again after that moment so I thought I might as well tell him. I mean... I... I remember, I do have all of these feelings for him even now but I'm holding them all back. It'll go badly again and Gassy can do much better than being with me, I just want him to do what's best for him which is completely giving up on me. He was close to it too, he didn't care for me for a good amount of time but... I fucked it up. I messed up the good work he had been doing and I was the one to seduce him in the end. Suddenly I jump slightly at the contact I feel on my arm and I glance up at Gassy noticing a dark look in his eyes. This isn't the first time I'be seen this expression, he always gets like this when he wants to....

"Ze, I love you," Gassy says before leaning in and I'm completely frozen as he brushes his lips against mine before moving down to my neck then down to my collarbone, his stupid beard also tickling at my skin. Just teasing and no kissing. I shiver in anticipation but quickly try to snap myself out of it and crawl backwards on the couch but suddenly he pulls me down and towers over me, not allowing any escape from this as he looks to me with the same dark yet caring and clouded expression. "You know this, you've known this for a while but I really love you. And I mean it with completely good intentions when I say I want you to stay by my side. Old Ze, new Ze, I love them both. I don't know why the fuck I would love new Ze because he's a complete asshole who won't tell me shit but somehow... I'm a bit stupid when it comes to these kinds of things." I stay silent, just watching and when he simply stares at me as if waiting for an answer I turn to my side.

"Gassy..." I murmur, my thoughts feeling everywhere and no where at the same time. It's really a no brainer, I love this man and I would do anything to just have a chance to stay like this and stay living here with him forever. But... am I... really good enough? I feel Gassy's thumbs wipe away at my eyes when I hadn't even noticed I was crying to begin with but now that I'm actually thinking I feel emotional. Not only did I completely forget about this guy, I physically injured him and emotionally injured him several times and caused him to believe me to be dead for the past two years. Could I really... make up for all of that shit?

"Ze... I have to go," Gassy suddenly says and as he says this he climbs off of me and pats down the uniform he's wearing. I stare at him still laying down on the couch a bit shocked by the sudden change. Taking in the situation and getting my mind finally cleared up I sit up and watch him as he tries to fix up his uniform that was a little messed up after attacking me. Suddenly he looks to me and I immediately look away before we can meet eyes. This is childish but I don't want to see him and know he can see right through me and knows precisely that my feelings for him match his for me. I feel a warmth by my ear and I glance up meeting his eyes as he caresses me. "Ze... I really, really hope I'll see you when I get home tonight. Actually, let's do this. If you love me, ever did love me, or even just slightly feel for me, stay another night. If not, leave tonight and I'll never bother you about those kinds of things again. Got it?" I nod and he posts my cheek twice before turning away and looks at himself in the mirror. I stare at him and his uniform, the fancier one than usual meaning he's going to have to look good in front of public today.

"I'm leaving tonight," I say and Gassy's hands freeze for the smallest amount of time anybody else wouldn't have noticed before continuing fixing himself up.

"I know."

"No you don't. If you did you wouldn't even give me two choices like that," I complain and once again he stops moving for the slightest moment. I don't want to do this, I don't want to leave. I really love this place. Pushing down all of those feelings I gulp and shake my head, bringing my knees up close to by chest. "I don't want to hurt you, Gassy. I think it's better I leave-" before I can even finish he whips around and grabs a hold of the cloth covering my chest and forces his lips onto mine. In shock I try to back away but he just pushes forward with his grasp on my shirt tightening with the force of his kiss. He pulls away slightly and I open my mouth to continue but once again he pushes forward and repeats this process until I feel like I'm going to die from the lack of breath. P

"Fuck you, 'you don't want to hurt me.' What about you? I don't want to hurt you, I've been damn afraid of that since I have been from the beginning but I took a fucking chance and now I'm head over heels for you. You better take a chance and be head over heels for me," Gassy snaps and let's go of me leaving me feeling breathless and a bit shocked by his announcement. "I... will be seeing to your decision," Gassy continues without looking at me, "I hope you will decide to stay another night. I need to leave now. And Steven, I love you." I blink in surprise as he grabs his things and leaves through the front door leaving me still sitting feeling breathless and holding my fingers in front of my lips that feel like they may be numbing. Glancing back to the door as it shuts I feel a bit lost but take a deep breath and sink down on the couch. He's messing with my mind, now I really don't want to go. Covering my eyes with my hand I suddenly feel really conflicted.

If I stay... I don't even have to go back to IRIS, I can see Elaine everyday, and I can be as friendly with Gassy as I want. There is no con to staying here for just one more night. Except I decided to leave Gassy for his own good... and yet, I don't want to. Sighing I shut my eyes tightly and now I'm feeling reluctant to leaving. I can still study and do things here that would hopefully not destroy his apartment... and when I want to leave I'm free to just leave whenever I want to with nothing stopping me. Maybe... just one more night? That should be fine, right? Lifting my hand I stare at at the back of y hand before sitting up and staring at the couch blankly before getting up. Heading into the guest room where Elaine originally told me to stay, I open up the bottom drawer of the dresser and there lies all of my cure syringes. I could last here for a good while, but the cures don't make me visible. I wonder if Ohm ever got that deal I told him to do. Not like I can so easily talk to Ohm now... unless I get Gassy to. I shake my head, I hadn't even planned on staying another night yet. This is... a bit complicated. I have to... make my decision before Gassy comes home. I'll just wait for now for Elaine to come home and then decide from there on.

-Gassy-

"Jesus it's like everything you say is going right over their heads," I complain and yawn, having gotten little sleep last night having to wake up extra early to look over some of the reports at home. Diction also yawns beside me, having gotten less sleep from having more work than me last night all because of Ze. The reports in my hand that everyone should have in the conference is all full of things that have happened and yet none of them are even looking at it. It's like this preparing wasn't even worth anything and it's slowly beginning to irritate me.

"Quit your complaining, we still have two more phases. We'll probably go on till midnight then we have to go back to the base and deal with the base issues. I think you won't have a choice tonight, you'll probably need to pull an all nighter," Diction says, upsetting me s bit when I think about Ze possibly staying another night. He probably won't, I'll be completely truthful I don't think he'll stay another night and I did a shit job at trying to convince him but the least I can do is hope and actually see if he's still there or not. "Come to think of it, you said you would tell me why you wanted to go home so much yesterday," Diction suddenly complains and I freeze for a second before sighing and nodding.

"Ze is at my house with Elaine. He forgot to tell Elaine not to tell me so I wanted to hurry there before he left," I explain, leaving noting out. If I've learned anything it's that lying to Diction will do me no good in the future, as I've seen from betraying him a couple of times. Diction stares at me for a while before turning away from me and looking over the reports in his hand.

"I see. And did you catch him?"

"Y-Yeah, he was still there. Thankfully. He might be gone by tonight though, I'm not sure..." at the uncertainty in my voice Diction glances up to me and sighs, moving away the reports to his side and seems tired of my shit. As would I be if he were in love with someone dangerous and gives up a whole lot for whoever.

"Fine, I got you. I'll have Nanners and me make up for some of your work tonight. You should go home and see if he's still there-"

"I can't do that to you guys. I have a whole lot of work especially since I have the most explaining to do," I argue and he nods slowly and glances back towards the door to the conference room. Someone from inside opens the door and gives us a warning the meeting will continue in a few minutes. Diction waves him off before looking to me with a serious expression.

"Well take care of like one part of your work and you can go home really quickly and come back. Just to see if he's staying the night. Deal?" I hesitate to take his offer but eventually I nod and he nods in return seeming satisfied. He leads me back into the conference room as I feel a bit hesitant and very reluctant to just ignore the fact Ze may be leaving right now. We meet up with Nanners inside and sit beside him taking our seats as the rest off he base captains and high ranking sergeants are all looking to us as if we're the guilty ones. Its not like we did something so terribly bad, we just failed to give some information because if they knew they would do everything in their power to make him guilty again for being anywhere near the Hidden.

"I think we should cut them some slack," one of the captains suddenly say, leaning back in her seat clearly not giving as hit about common etiquette like the rest of us are freaking out about. "It's Ze and IRIS, they're the ones most attached to him and I don't blame them. There're some people on my base I wouldn't rat out to you assholes," the girl complains and immediately one of the older men in charge of the bases sitting next to Tom gets up from his seat seeming very irritated.

"That's enough, Captain Krism, you have always been crude when talking to us and we won't deal with it any longer. And this is inexcusable to just allow them to get out of this scott-free when they kept vital information away from us-"

"Oh come on it wasn't even that bad," Tom complains from beside him, also seeming equally as uncaring as Captain Krism was. "If anything they probably got more information than they could have even if they told us."

"Implying you didn't know from the beginning," the old man complains and Tom shrugs, clearly having known being in charge of our base along with other bases. Even with so much in his hands we all know that he's had a lot to do with IRIS and our actions and Diction and I know that we informed him and Tom was the one to say fuck them and told us to keep it secretive. "If we knew about this we could have put off the petition set on by Mr. Mexican over there and we could have kept him hostage to force information from him-"

"Force? That doesn't sound very American," Krism complains, leaning in onto the table seeming irritated like she has been since the moment she walked in here. The old man shuts up, unable to deny what he suggested sounded very suspiciously similar to something like torture. Despite this he glares and steps up again shouting some nonsense I don't bother to pay attention to and this ends up becoming the pattern of the entire conference until no progress is done and everyone's throats hurt from yelling too much. At the end of the day no work is done at all and we get out later than we had been planning to, leaving me with less time to possibly go home. When we leave the conference room, extremely tired, suddenly Diction stops me and looks back.

"Hey, Krism," Diction calls out and the shorter captain turns around at the sound of her name and smiles happily, bouncing over to us. "Thanks for the back up in there. Why, though?" Krism glances up at Diction then to me momentarily before returning to Diction, her single red eye gleaming with the light. I hadn't noticed when she was on the opposite side of the large table but her eyes are very much different colors. One dark and the other shining brightly red seeming especially noticeable within the light.

"Well they were being dumb, and I was kinda a fan of IRIS from before I was a captain. I wished I joined you guys instead at first, but then I sorta became a captain of KRIM," she explains with a giggle and both Diction and I immediately recognize the name. It's a base close to ours, and significantly smaller but still powerful. It isn't meant to be a combat-based base like ours as much as a smaller and more of an information gathering base.

"Really? Why don't you come over for a bit? We're close anyways, and I'd like to give you some sort of thanks for having our backs," Diction says, surprising me by how friendly he's being but I recognize why. Any person who seems like they can be an ally is someone to befriend to Diction, and we can never have enough friends up in the high ranks like Diction and Krism. She immediately brightens up, absolutely glowing in excitement as she nods her head quickly and follows us as we lead her out of the large meeting place in the middle of the town.

"Really? I've always wanted to go in there. I hear it's the best defense, oh, can I check out your gun range? I've never been to a combat base," she says, talking way too fast and way too high pitched for us to understand half of what she's rambling about but we still smile and agree. I let Diction lead her into the base while I hurry to my office in the absolute fastest rate to finish my work to try and get home for a decent amount of time. Just enough to see if Ze will still be there and check the entire house for him just in case... and Elaine, because if she's not there there's a high chance she's elsewhere with Ze considering she's never out late because she's such a good kid. Quickly retreating to my office I quickly sit at my chair and click through my PC before closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. I'll finish one before going home and checking. At 2am, that should be a good time to check and see if he stayed or not. Damn, I really hope I see him there. I'm anxious waiting here and writing about him when I could be at home and preventing him from leaving. I tried being sappy with him this morning to try and get something out of him... but I'm worried, he didn't seem to fall for it as much, nor did he seem to care much for those kinds of things anyways.

Damn....