-Ze-

I wonder... if I made the right choice. Sighing, I stare at the random items lines up along the shelves blankly and look over everything feeling a bit off. When will Gassy be home? Could he be there right now? Taking a deep breath I shake my head and grab the small bottle from the shelf before turning away from the items and hurrying to the cashier before I lose any interest in continuing my plan. I need to hurry and do what I need to do, there's no use in regretting anything right now. Suddenly Elaine's face flashes into my mind and I tighten my grip around the bottle and frown. She seemed... sad, disappointed, extremely depressed when I told her about leaving her and Gassy. I explained everything to her, from the moment I left her to the present time and she should be able to understand why I've made the decisions I've made but it doesn't change the fact that she was very saddened and worried about the thought. Stuffing the bottle of some particular vitamins into my pockets the moment I leave the small store I glance around in the darkness, trying to get my bearings straight again.

Although I can't get back to the base or ask anything of Ohm it doesn't mean I can't try at all to make a temporary visibility solution or mixture. Right now I'm thinking these vitamins mixed with some other stuff may last me a while if I take it everyday before the effects wear off completely, but it'll only prolong the amount of time I can be visible for now. And right now it'd be best to be visible, considering I'm staying with humans now and most definitely not constantly around Hidden anymore. I pull y coat closer to me when I notice it's colder than usual outside and immediately I feel a bit guilty. I wonder how Leo is doing, this is his coat and he was the one who wanted me to go to IRIS... who is Leo anyways? Even with my memories and previous knowledge I don't know whose side he's on at all. He wasn't the one to inject me with the Hidden solution, and he also wasn't the one to wake me up after that first night at the Hidden base as a new Hidden. But from a week after that he was the only one around me constantly, taking care of me when I was just an empty shell. He was an intimidating guy and always acted as if not a single thing can bother him... but who even is he?

Sighing in defeat I just continue after I get a good baring of my surroundings and immediately stop walking when I see a familiar figure in the distance. Shit, honestly I was hoping he'd get there a bit... later, or honestly, not at all. What are they even doing there? The figure is pacing back and forth right in front of a door without knocking or opening the door at all. Gathering up all of my courage I walk up to the porch of the place I'll be staying the night at. When the man spots me he immediately freezes, shocked at my presence. He had been pacing on the own porch of his own apartment, hesitant to enter his own apartment. He really is silly.

"Z-Ze? What are you doing outside? Were you... leaving?" Gassy asks and I simply shake my head, pulling out the bottle from my pocket and hold it up to him.

"No, just picking something up for experiments. Elaine bought it for me. Anyways, I hope you don't mind I'll be staying another night... not because of you... Elaine is really convinc-" before I can even finish the statement he walks quickly over to me and hugs me tightly, pulling me towards his chest and pats the back of my head as he keeps me close to him. "G-Gassy, I said not for you."

"Yeah, well you should have figured this comes with staying here," he complains and I just chuckle and glance down, barely noticing I dropped the bottle when he surprised me with this tight hug. I guess it'll be fine, as long as I remember that's where I left it. Gassy pulls away from me, holding me at a distance with such caring and happy eyes I wonder why I even thought about leaving this guy. Sighing I look down, away from his eyes with a sort of guilt but suddenly he lets out a big sigh and drops to the ground in front of me, shocking me and quickly holding onto his hands. "I was so fucking worried I'd come home and you'd be gone. I was so fucking worried, Ze. Please, please don't leave me again." Suddenly I feel pain in my chest and I flinch as sudden realization hits me. I can't... I can't leave this guy. I physically can't leave this guy, I don't know why I thought I would even be able to, even for his sake. Sighing, I use my strength to try and bring him back up.

"I... I won't, not anytime especially soon at least. I can only promise that much," I mutter, feeling a bit off for only being able to promise that. While I would like to stay here in his safety and just be here forever, there are things that need to be dealt with. Like the Hidden, and IRIS. I'm not prepared to settle down anywhere just yet, but if I were to settle down anywhere it would be here. With Gassy's gaze still focused on me, I feel a bit embarrassed thinking about all of this right in front of him and scratch the back of my neck, averting my eyes from him. "I'm... planning on leaving tomorrow, not for good or anything. I just need to go check up on something, but don't freak out if I'm not here," I inform and he immediately narrows his eyes with clear dislike and suspicion.

"You're leaving? Don't go back to the Hidden, Ze. We just barely got your innocence back, I don't want you to have it taken from you by doing something stupid," Gassy lectures causing me to look away feeling a bit loved.

"Will they really notice me that easily? I'll be careful-"

"So you are going back to the Hidden? Ze, they're gonna fuck you and we both know it. Why do you even need to go back? All of your friends are here, Chilled and me are both here. What else do you need?" I roll my eyes and without thinking much grab a hold of his hand and squeeze it, attempting to give him a bit of encouragement. This big guy has been hurt by me a lot, it's no wonder he doesn't trust me when I tell him I'm only leaving for a short while. He squeezes back with hurt eyes but eventually sighs, seeming to calm down at last after receiving my reassurance.

"I'll be fine. I just need to ask Leo a question. Plus, a certain Hidden thinks I'm on my way there right now and when they find out I'm not... I'm more afraid for your safety than my own," I explain and Gassy just frowns but I notice his hand is shaking a bit and roll my eyes, turning away from him but still keeping a grasp of his hand. Pulling him inside his own apartment I allow us to return to the warmth although he still seems to be tense and holding my hand tightly. Turning towards him I notice that expression of his again, that cute upset expression of his mixed with a tiny amount of jealousy. I can't help but laugh at this and immediately he becomes even more visibly upset.

"The hell are you laughing at? This is serious. You can get seriously hurt or in some big trouble again. Don't act like this is all just a game like usual, do you know how shitty I felt when you became guilty to begin with? Ze... Ze are you even listening? Jesus," Gassy complains becoming increasingly upset as I keep my lighthearted smile and laugh. His hand keeps stuck to mine tightly and seems to only be increasing in force as he talks and eventually begins to hurt but I keep myself from saying anything. It doesn't matter, it'll heal right away because of my current body composition. Glancing at the stairs I assume that Elaine must be asleep by now finally after having continually texted me when I told her I would be fine finding a shop on my own and all. Besides, she has school tomorrow and I don't want her to stay up all night with me again.

"Steven," Gassy suddenly says with a lot stricter of a voice causing me to turn back to him, a bit alerted now that he's actually pissed and using my real name now. Our eyes meet and I notice he really is pissed, he was legitimately worried about my well being to this point? I smile and squeeze his hand more if that's even possible with the force I feel causing my bones in my hand to feel like they're being destroyed. It's as if Gassy barely notices just how much force he's using and the grasp he has on my hand immediately loosens up but refuses to let go. I sigh, feeling tired of having Gassy constantly act like my dad. He's way too protective, it's like he thinks the moment I'm anywhere on my own I'll just somehow find a way to fuck up and die. Well... while it happened the first time it can't happen twice in a row... can it?

"Trust me, Max. Even if I do end up fucking up I'll find some way to fix it up, but I won't need to because I'll be careful. I'll be back before you know it," I say honestly suspecting my words to be bullshit as well. Honestly, I don't even know what'll happen when I return. It's a bit late of a return and if I get past making up some bullshit excuse right there they'll start interrogating me about things I refuse to tell them about IRIS. But... I need to see Leo and ask him about what exactly happened after that day. I'm... certain I died, it's possible for my heart to have stopped momentarily and I'm pretty sure that it happened but something happened and here I am, alive. Leo might not even know but he's the only one I know who knew me from the beginning of being a Hidden. To be completely honest, I don't remember many people from those days, I was an empty shell back then but I do remember Leo, of course.

"You're thinking about something dangerous," Gassy suddenly says, bringing me back from my deep thought. He's staring at me seeming a bit troubled but also thinking about what I said a lot more deeply than I thought when I said it. If I were to be completely honest with him, I'd tell him that I don't want to go anywhere but just stay here. If I were honest I'd tell him I remember everything and I still hopelessly love him. But if I were honest I'd have been shot by now by both the Hidden and IRIS. "....You know what? Fine, I trust you. I'm probably going to regret that later but I trust you." I blink in surprise at the sudden agreement and look him thoroughly but no matter how hard I look, there isn't one bit of actual sincerity in what he said. Finding this a bit cute I roll my eyes and pull my hand away from his finally, breaking the contact that he's been holding this far.

"You're so not trusting me. But seriously, I will be back. Whether or not I have my memories and myself I can't say with certainty considering the last time I lef-" I joke but flinch when suddenly I feel his arms grab me from behind. Slowly turning towards him I find his face is completely unamused despite the light nature I had been talking with. Realizing barely when I probably should have earlier that Gassy is not in the mood to play around and act so lightly with serious things, I avoid his eyes and focus on a random spot on the ground far away. I don't want to be serious, with this guy who always used to be so silly and happy, never showing any serious sides in front of me unless he's come with professional purposes. Sighing, I reach up to his arms which are wrapped around me tightly but don't attempt to push them away. "I can't. I just can't promise nothing will happen, Max. Just trust me when I tell you... the me right now..." I take a gulp of air trying to mentally prepare every word that I search for before glancing up to his hopeful eyes. "The me right now loves you so goddamn much I will not betray you even if my life depended on it. So trust me when I say that I'll try my damn hardest to come back to you."

Silence fills the room when I was least expecting it. I was... expecting him to say something mushy by now or even just kiss me right now but instead there's just complete silence. Did... did I fuck up? Suddenly a wave of nerves goes through my chest and I quickly glance up to him and immediately burn up when I notice his expression. I didn't fuck up, that shocked expression with an extremely red tint to his face shows me I did not fuck up. I guess he didn't realize by now, but he definitely realized it right now that I remembered everything. I shift around in his hold and he allows me to seeming to not come back to his senses after being shocked like that. Wrapping my hands around the back of his neck I look up to him and feel the urge to laugh at his stupid expression. I'm feeling way too lovey today compared to usual. Maybe it's because I made the decision, I made the decision to fall for him again and allowed myself to just completely become obsessed with him again that I'm feeling a lot more aggressive now. I've never been one to be the close one unless it was just all talk, but right now I feel like if I don't I won't get to be that way with this guy ever again.

I pull his head down with my hands behind his neck and reach up with my lips, meeting his lips and initiating the kiss for once. There isn't really much of a reaction at first as if he doesn't realize what exactly is happening before he suddenly moves into action right away. Holding my cheek with his hand while running his fingers through my hair with the other, he pushes deeper into the kiss and even steps forward, pushing me back. I'm definitely unprepared for the sudden attack he makes as he holds me extremely close and eventually corners me so the back of the couch is preventing me from escaping. The warmth begins to spread throughout the room... well either that or I'm just overheating as he pushes more onto me, his hands slipping lower as he pulls up my shirt. Before he gets the chance to make much of a journey with his hands a loud sharp ringing sound echoes throughout the room and Gassy comes back to his senses. He widens his eyes and immediately backs off from me, leaving me just standing in place and rubbing my lips softly as I watch him turn from me and take out his phone. Always with the damn aggressive kiss attacks, even from before all the shit went down he always loved doing that.

"Hello? Yeah... yeah, I know... what? Wait, wait... alright, I'm on my way right now," Gassy says into the phone although his mind seems very preoccupied as he stammers through his words. I watch silently as he pockets the phone again and stands still, one hand on his hip and the other somewhere on his face. He seems... tense. That must have been work, I hadn't been expecting him to come home this early anyways, knowing Diction and his relationship they probably worked something out. Sometimes I feel like Diction is the older brother who makes sure the younger brother doesn't do something to fuck up their life. Which Gassy has come close to doing several times. Although he claims for me to be the reckless one, we all know that he was the one who forced my hand to sneak around, do things without telling him. Mostly all for his sake. In reality, I think he's the one who is always getting into danger. He's a damn sergeant, throwing himself into danger is literally his job and he acts like he's the one who always needs to worry. Gassy suddenly turns towards me, his eyes glancing down and I do as well noticing my shirt is still a bit out of order.

"Sorry, Ze, I need to go back to work. I've already been here longer than I said I would be," Gassy explains as he watches me pat down my shirt and push myself away from the couch. He seems reluctant to be saying these words but also carefully views my expression as well before reaching out to me and wiping something at my face. "I can't see you off tomorrow but I trust Elaine will do well enough for the two of us.... Damn it Ze, be careful, will you? Try to make sure you don't piss off any other Hidden too much and come back before the world thinks you're dead again," Gassy lectures causing me to chuckle bitterly but nod.

"I told you already I'll try my hardest. And... you be careful too. Don't do anything stupid, you're also in a dangerous spot in that base. Just... don't trust all of your sergeants-in-training," I say feeling a bit cold when I realize he's there everyday with... a Hidden within grasp of him. He stares at me for a while and for a second I wonder if he's going to ask me who the Hidden is but before he can he just sighs and ruffles around a hand in my head but when I think he's going to stop and leave he steps closer towards me and hugs me. His warm lips press against the top of my head and he holds me so tightly yet carefully I feel like some sort of important person of his.

"I'll be careful if you do."

"It's a deal," I accept immediately causing him to just chuckle and holds me tightly for one second longer before turning away from me reluctantly and picks up his keys off the table by the door I didn't even notice him drop. He approaches the front door before pausing, seeming completely still for a long time before turning towards me. When his sweet, sad eyes meet mine I immediately lose the cool I've been keeping and dash over to him, wrapping my arms around him. "I'll try, I promise I'll try my best so don't look at me like this is the last time we'll meet," I mutter into his chest and I faintly hear his sigh as his hand ruffles through my hair again.

"Sorry, I have a bit of trust issues from all of the bullshit I've been through but... I'll trust you. I'll be seeing you then, right?" I look up to him and for once... he seems sincere about his words. I take a deep breath before nodding. "Good. Be good, Ze," Gassy says one last time before patting my head one last time and leaving out the door like he had intended to do. I watch the door as it clicks closed and I suddenly feel like I just buried my own grave. Why the hell did I allow myself to fall for him again? No, why the hell did I allow him to fall for me again? He was so close, he had so many others better than me around him and he was so close to ignoring me and going for someone else. Anybody would have been better, even Mark. Suddenly recalling the other researcher I am a bit disappointed to admit the jealousy that sparks up with  him. I don't think... I've been jealous about anyone else. Then again, Gassy's never given me a reason to be jealous but when we weren't together he had no purpose to care about what I see and don't. Maybe... it'd be better if I left right now and Mark and him become closer.... I sigh and shake my head. What happens happens, and what's happening right now is Gassy and me being together so I'll just keep going with that until someday he's decided he wants otherwise.

"Ze...?" Shocked by the sudden voice I glance over finding Elaine standing at the doorway rubbing her eyes. "Was Gassy here? Did you get the thing?" I nod and walk over to her, feeling a bit shaken, like she caught me thinking about something I probably shouldn't have. I just had to think twice on the relationship I used to be so confident on. All this time we had away from each other has me feel like he's moved on a bit beyond me while I feel like the last two years were just a blur and nothing happened. While he had time to think things through and purposely tried to forget about me due to believing I was dead, I was just lost and feel like none of my feelings have changed. I guess, I feel like I lost a couple of years because of that.

"Yeah, only momentarily. Go back to sleep, you have school tomorrow," I order causing her to just groan and yawns as she turns around and drags her feet to her room. I didn't... exactly tell Elaine that I'm planning on leaving tomorrow. My mind has been stuck between going back today or tomorrow, but I doubt Elaine never considered that I'll be leaving soon. She just doesn't want to know the answer and I didn't want to give it because she would change my mind in a second. Since Gassy won't be here tonight... might as well sleep in his room. I say goodnight to Elaine and step into Gassy's room, taking a deep breath the moment I enter. I just need to ask Leo about the whole deal and then I'll figure out some way to escape. Somehow, I'll just figure it out as I go.