-Gassy-

"Jesus, I leave you with the base for a few days and you got some of the top soldiers killed on a suicide mission. Why'd you even do it? What'd you find?" I flinch at Diction's anger pouring out, obviously pissed off at the fact I did get some of our best killed, a lot of our best actually all on this mission. Turning down and away from Diction I feel a bit obligated to tell him something, particularly about Ze in the mission.

"I took a chance that Chilled was being serious. He was the one who wanted me to conduct the mission. We found evidence there that they were about to do a full on attack on KRIM, they would have been taken out," I explain and Diction sighs, seeming obviously upset but can't say anything in return about KRIM. We all knew they wouldn't be able to handle it, and we'd lose an entire base if we were to ignore their attacks. Diction sits back in his chair and looks at the computer screen on his desk before closing his eyes for a long moment and looks to me.

"There's something you're not telling me. I knew you might would at least hide something but Nanners won't tell me either. So give it up, Chilled wanted you guys there for a reason. After refusing to say shit then suddenly telling you guys to invade an entire base. It's too weird of a thing for Chilled to do. He never thinks things through but this is too much," Diction says, having gotten to know Chilled's strange ways of doing things. Staring at him for several moments, it won't do anything really to tell him that Ze might be alive and that's the reason that Chilled brought us over there but it still feels wrong. Diction will get mad at me especially, the one he's been trying to pull away from Ze the most. After I stay silent for too long, Diction raises an eyebrow, now seeming suspicious. "You and Nanners again huh? You guys planning to be Hidden again with Chilled?"

"No, no, fuck no. Not after all the shit they tried to pull. No, it's just, we're not even sure ourselves if it's true or not because this is Chilled who told us about it-"

"Then you shouldn't fucking care if you tell me a little bit, right?" I flinch, finding truth in what he says and unable to say anything in return. I don't want him to say anything negative about discovering Ze might be alive, or even become hopeful as well. But, I should tell him. He's our captain after all, and the fact they may have Ze can really affect our own progress either positively or negatively. Diction stares at me for a long time before sighing and looking over to his work. "Fine, I got it. You guys found something you won't tell your best friend about." Immediately I tense up, barely thinking about it beyond my captain. These days I forget sometimes that Diction is my friend beyond just my captain, he'll keep me a secret or give me advice when I need some. All those things about moving on from Ze, it was all friendly advice worrying about me as a friend.

"Chilled was telling Nanners and me that Ze was there. That he's been turned to a Hidden and is basically brainwashed, doesn't remember anything," I explain and Diction just listens carefully, without showing any kind of reaction.

"And Chilled can see Hidden so he must be right. Ze is alive then," Diction says simply, saying it so simply like I shouldn't have been thinking about it all of yesterday. Diction continues to stare at me, just waiting for me to say something in return but I can't find the words to tell him that I'd been worrying about it all of yesterday. "You really are an idiot. We can't do anything about it really without knowing where he is. Chilled hasn't left another note yet, which isn't surprising since you guys reported him to be extremely hurt and possibly dead. We'll just hold off on the defense for a while since we're not in the shape to be making any attacks anytime soon. But we should be fine, we're getting a lot of recruits lately because of the publicity. Don't think about it too much, Gassy. We need to make absolute sure before freaking out over it."

"I'm not freaking out about it or any-"

"Don't give me that bullshit," Diction immediately interrupts me, reading me like a book again. "If you weren't freaking out you wouldn't bother hide it from me for a good amount of time. Both you and Nanners, you're both worried about the kid and both of you need to knock it the fuck off. First of all, you don't even know if he's completely changed or not and transformed into somebody completely different from the Ze you knew. He may not even be worth your guys' worry anymore, and secondly, if you're both moping around and avoiding telling me, the only one in control around here, how the fuck are we supposed to progress anywhere? We can't find out if he's the same Ze if we're not fucking progressing." I stay silent, a bit shocked Diction has already thought this all through in a few seconds while I've been spending days thinking about it. Diction is blunt, he evaluates things with a realistic view and it's what makes him a great captain. I should really stop this habit of keeping things from him. I'd bet if I told him I was a traitor those years ago he would have probably helped me out and convince me to quit the Hidden and none of this would have happened. "You feel better now?"

"Y-Yeah, thanks Diction. I was being an idiot," I mutter and Diction smiles with a shine in his eyes, seeming almost proud of me for telling him the truth. I hate it when he's right but it's better when he's right because he can tell me just what the hell I'm doing wrong with all of this fucked up shit. "Anyways, what should we do now? Focus on building up and promoting a few soldiers to the higher skilled groups to make up for what we lost?"

"Yeah, that mission really put a dent in our numbers, at least with the highest skilled. It's a good thing you guys survived though. How is your wound, by the way?" Naturally I hold up my hand to the wound on my chest, stitched up but definitely leaving a scar there for future reference.

"It's fine. Just no moving around extensively for me. I'll look into the soldiers I think we can promote and we'll discuss it further," I explain and he nods, satisfied now that I'm thinking straight and focusing on work. "Well, it seems like I won't have to the having that talk with Chilled you wanted me to, huh?" I ask bitterly, just thinking about it right now when recalling the last time I came here to talk to Diction about something. Diction rolls his eyes and seems irritated, repeatedly tapping the tip of his pen onto the table and his eyes looking through something on the computer.

"No. The little bastard was right, only one more thing for him to gloat about," Diction complains, seeming irritated like he has always looked from the day he met Chilled. Now that I think about it the first time we spoke about the researchers he already hated Chilled at that point. It's kind of bitterly funny when I think about those times when everything just seemed easier, before anybody was in love with anybody. "Stay here, we'll look through the soldier list together so we can get it done faster and you can go home to Elaine because knowing you, you were probably holed up in here the entire time you were temporary captain, am I right?"

My silence is answer enough for him and I do as he says and drag the chair around the desk to sit beside him as he pulls out the list of soldiers and looking through their records. There are plenty to consider, the more difficult task is choosing which we should promote but we have a large consideration for many soldiers. Some I'm familiar with like Ohm and Minx, others I'm not so familiar with but Diction is like Sp00n, and others that neither of us have exactly spoken to directly but we have observed enough to tell they're skilled soldiers. When we have the list made up I make it my task, against Diction's wishes, to go and place the notices in the correct mailboxes in the larger area we have with plenty of boxes to put in mail. After finishing up I turn around and nearly run directly into the smaller researcher who was also looking in a different direction. Mark backs up immediately upon seeing me and looks to me with large eyes as he holds out some files.

"Gassy! One of those blood samples I got out here, they're a direct match with Ze's! Does this mean that he's a Hidden working for them now? If he's working for them I wonder if they also know about the cure?" I watch the over,y excited researcher as his mind jumps around and I feel relieved and tense at the same time at the discovery. Crossing my arms I watch him as he shows me the two matches in Ze's old file and the file on the blood he's been testing with over ten times as if he couldn't believe it was actually Ze's blood. This confirms it completely, that Hidden Chilled was talking about was Ze. However, Diction is right, that may be Ze but it may not be my Ze. I can't get overly excited nor overly paranoid about this, I need to keep calm and wait until I actually see and talk to Ze on my own. And considering he just gave me a huge scar on my chest isn't working out for Ze very well in convincing me he's the same Ze from before.

"What does it mean if they know the cure?" I question, honestly curious and disappointingly unexcited about Ze for Mark.

"Well, uh, that means they can research a way to get a 'cure' for the cure. Strengthen the Hidden or just make it so they resist the cure if they have it. I don't... think they have the brains to figure it out but if Ze truly is on their side I'd be wrong. Assuming he is the same Ze we know and is well educated still," Mark explains seeming thoughtful at my own question. Which makes me curious.

"And say Ze isn't like he was before. What would you think they'd be planning by using him as a Hidden for reasons other than research?"

"Well... there shouldn't be any reason. Ze wasn't the most athletically capable nor 'Hidden' capable. In reality he should be dead, hemophilia or not his blood was not compatible. That actually... if we found out how we make a Hidden in the first place I'd test on Ze's blood and try to find a way to make a Hidden. That's a good thought you brought up, I'll begin seeing how to make a Hidden by looking at the cure," Mark notes, trailing off as his own thoughts go to more places. I nod, patting his head and passing by him, needing to get back home to Elaine for once.

"You work on that. I need to get home. Actually," I pause and turn towards him, holding out my cellphone towards him. "Text me if anything interesting shows up. Or if you need anything, I'll try my best to help out with your research especially when it comes to Ze." Mark stares at my phone blankly before taking the small device and looking up to me hesitantly.

"You were so against Ze's existence at first. It's a nice change, I'm glad you're no longer moping around like that," Mark notes with a satisfied smile that shocks me. This guy was actually worried about me? When I was so mean to him back then, releasing my denial on him basically? Well now I feel bad, since I made it clear to him that I did not like him back then. "I'll be as much help as I can for you. I may not be as good as Ze, or Chilled for that matter but I'll try."

"Yeah, yeah me I know you will. Go on, give me your phone number," I order, feeling slightly embarrassed for this guy whom I genuinely disliked just a month ago. He smiles widely and takes my phone from my grasp, his thumbs typing away on the phone before handing it back and I shoot him a quick text with my name. "I'll see you tomorrow, Mark. Don't work yourself too hard."

Mark waves goodbye to me as I turn from him and begin to head out the front of the base, going through the extensive safety and security measures to just leave the base. It's a lot of trouble getting Chilled in the base with them any Hidden sensors around this place but we always somehow recall how to turn them off just for Chilled. It does worry me sometimes though, if the Hidden were to discover Chilled as a traitor, we'd be in deep shit. Climbing into my car I sit back and take a deep breath, trying to let the day go through in my mind and calm down. It was a good thing to tell Diction about everything though, I feel a lot better after having spoken with him and had him calm me down considering the paranoid state I was in when I woke up this morning. Ze... I am prepared to get over him finally but just at the moment I encountered him again. Who knows, maybe we'll never be together again like we used to be though. It may have just been too long.

-Ze-

"Ze? I knew I'd find you here," I hear Leo's voice and glance up from the computer screen and find him enter the computer room. Without a word I glance back down towards the screen, having been playing around and jogging my memory. I may not find remembers everything advantageous but this is actually pretty cool to just suddenly remember these things I may have studied in my past. Even just wandering the Internet I'm beginning to recall old experiments and old discoverings, I'm slowly gaining my knowledge back. What the hell, this is what the Hidden want me to eventually do anyways. I won't have a choice and be required to eventually work for them anyways. I only slightly pay attention as Leo walks around the computers carefully before his hand leans on the back of my chair and he leans over my head. "You're studying? We give you a free day to do anything you want and you choose to study? You're one strange kid."

"Well it's not like there's much to do on base. And I like doing this," I mutter, feeling a bit offended he this it's so strange for someone who used to live on this stuff. Staring at the screen I sigh and look up to where Leo is staring at my computer screen but something's not right in his eyes. "What's the matter?"

"The trip back to Italy is delayed. We're staying here for a little bit more. We're all waiting for you to remember things about IRIS you can tell us, on top of the information Chilled has given us. All of the elders are playing the waiting game. You're keeping everyone waiting," Leo explains and I roll my eyes, moving my eyes back to the computer screen. It's not like it's my fault that I can't remember, nor do I want to remember. Glancing down at my own hand, bandaged carefully around the palm I feel... I don't know how I feel about all of this. I don't remember shit, I don't know who is good and who is bad and I can't make up my mind on whose side I should be on in the first place. Chilled is with the humans, the Hidden are here, and Leo is... well I feel like he's on his own side. Neither Hidden, nor human with his capacity to hurt humans unlike me. It killed me to just get rid of one human I didn't even know, and the rest, well, I just don't want to go out on a mission like that again anytime soon.

"Yeah, well, maybe looking into all of this stuff will be good for me and I'll remember some things," I mutter, a bit irritated but I can't lie, ever since that moment yesterday I've been unconsciously thinking about those phrases and words others have said to me. It's giving me a headache, constantly playing those memories in the back of my head as much as I try to ignore them, they're right there and prepared to be remembered due to the events of the past couple of days. Especially hanging around Chilled so often has really been bad for me but I can't help but worry for him and want to hang around him. I have avoided him all day, not visiting him once and he can't exactly come to me considering his current condition.

"Ze, it'll happen eventually. You may not want it but if you're remembering it means your subconsciousness wants to remember," Leo teases but I stay silent. I don't like it when Leo calls me Ze, he used to solely call me Steven until yesterday when he suddenly revealed all of those things to me yesterday. If the one who I basically remember growing up with and the only friend I've made thus far both have a thing against the Hidden, I feel worried I actually am doing the wrong thing. But if I don't want to stay with the Hidden, where else am I supposed to go? The IRIS and America in general hate my kind, I'm just an unknown person in this country, I don't know where I can go.

"Leo, who made me who I am today?" I ask suddenly, without even realizing I had been wondering that myself.

"The one who gave you to me? Hmm, well maybe if you're good I'll tell you," Leo teases and I roll my eyes as I continue to look into more of the files we have, belonging to IRIS which we have taken. Without thinking much I click through the faces and shake my head.

"See, I'm trying to remember and it isn't working. I'm being good," I tease, not lying about the unfamiliar faces of those whom I haven't met. Of course by now I'be encountered SeaNanners and GassyMexican, but other than them I don't recognize another person at all no matter how much I look at those faces. Leo pushes away from my chair and I roll around to turn to him, finding his eyes are clouded with something I don't quite recognize. I frown at the expression, finding it uncomfortable to find on the confident Leo seems troubled, although I've been finding it more and more often within him. "Leo?" Just as I call out for him the door to the room opens, and now I understand why Leo chose to push away from me when he did.

"Leonardo, Steven, how are you two?" The unfamiliar old man calls out, interrupting Leo and me. I slightly roll away from the computer and look at the old man with a nasty smile. Leo sets a hand on my shoulder as if telling me not to get up but on his face he has the same polite smile as always. Only now, for the first time, I have realized that it isn't a real smile but a mask he puts on in front of others he has to look professional in front of. I don't know how I could have missed it before but this is not a true smile at all, not even the slightest bit.

"Hello, Robert, we are just fine. How are you?" Leo asks with his polite smile pasted on his face.

"Just fine as well. Steven, I trust you are looking into the IRIS security?" Robert questions,mate point forward and slightly closer to me. I stare at him blankly, confused by his words when Leo's grip on my shoulder tightens and his smile stretches even more.

"I have not ordered him to do so yet. I'm allowing him to rekindle his memory using the computer," Leo explains and Robert raises an eyebrow towards Leo as I glance at my computer. That was a task they want me to do? Without thinking about it I begin to picture the structure and security IRIS may have which is typical for most bases and I can probably figure out some way to crack through it. At this point I just want to do it just to see if I can rather than helping out the Hidden. Maybe it'll help me remember more about hacking and possibly make me recall other things involving all of this stuff I used to do.

"As long as he doesn't rekindle any other memories or else that would be troublesome." I stay silent, silently glad at least he doesn't want me to remember along with being a bit unsettling to know this guy doesn't want me to remember while the two I actually care about, Leo and Chilled, want me to remember. "Leonardo I need to speak with you privately."

"Very well. Steven, continue researching," Leo orders and I nod and watch silently as the two leave the room leaving me to myself once again. Sighing now that I'm alone I stare at the computer screen for a while before suddenly springing into action and looking into the systems, specifically, IRIS's systems.

Bringing me to a password protected screen with the large IRIS logo in the background without thinking much I type in my own password and log in. It processes my answer for a while and in the time it is connecting I feel myself becoming more and more tense as I consider it being the wrong password. I did it without hesitation, as if the password is engrained in some corner of my mind. Suddenly a small screen pops up and I feel myself become cold. 'Welcome back, ZeRoyalViking! Your password is expired. Please see your corresponding captain to create a new password!' It's still in the system, my account is actually still in the system and who knows what I have stored in my file. I might just have a whiplash of memories the moment I get into my account. Everyone's called me Ze up until now, but I never knew it was actually just the short version of my actual code name on the base. Taking a deep breath I push myself away form the desk and close my eyes. I changed my mind. I don't want to test my hacking skills.