• ADVIKA •

The next thing I forced my eyes to witness was the sleek black racing car.

Except that it was next to Ishaan instead of being over him.

Ishaan, a foot away from the car, looked back at me with a relieved smile and winked at me. While I struggled to feel relief due to me crying, he gestured at me to take deep breaths in a bid to relax myself.

Gripping the wooden bench firmer, I tried to calm down momentarily while my mind— which was already in a dilemma for the past few days— had managed to make a decision amidst the chaos that prevailed over there.

The first thing he did as he came up to me was hug me like we were home, making me suffocate despite the comfort in the air. “I'm home, love.”

“Go home, love,” I whispered in his ear, not after biting my lower lip to suppress my sobs.

Breaking the hug with a perplexed frown on his face, he asked, “What do you mean?”

Looking down at the ground, I bit my lips to forbid myself from sobbing and looked back at him. “I mean it, Ishaan. You know what has happened for the past week. Forget me; I'm immune to all those hurdles. But, you? To face all this stuff cooked up by your creator? That was not a part of your package, Ishaan. You weren't destined to face them. The worst part? It was all because of me. All Hell broke loose the moment I entered your life. Yes, you had less peace even before I came into your life. Yet, you were alive. The best way to help you escape this is me—”

“Are you leaving my life?” Ishaan raised the question with an uncharacteristic tone that displayed his angst. “All Hell would break loose only when you do this. Yes, I admit that I had no peace before you. Yes, I am experiencing zero peace with you by my side. But… I would be tenfold peaceless if you leave me. Either way, I'm losing my peace. So, why not face the pain with you by my side? I would be happier that way despite experiencing shit.”

“Ishaan, do you get what you were trying to tell me?” I couldn't help but frown at what he had said, my mind scorning at him for not understanding my point of view. “If I stay by your side, you will die. You saw what happened a few seconds ago, didn't you? That woman Aadya Chatterjee would have almost grabbed your life, Ishaan.”

“That's her loss. She's the one who could potentially lose the main character of her Bestseller novel,” he retorted while shrugging as though he was being obvious.

“Not just that. I would have lost the man who brought hues of greenery in my black life. Imagine what would have happened next. I…” Unable to hold the tears stagnant, I unleashed them down my cheeks. “I would rather lose you with a hope that you're alive.”

“Advika…” His voice trembled as he had bit his lower lip and released it. “I wish that car had killed me. At least, you were there for me.” His voice trembled more as he continued, “Please don't go, Mia Anima. Stay back, baby. Please! You either stay back or leave me— only after killing me right here. I would die loving you either way. It was you who encouraged me to fight harder, didn't you?”

“I can't stay back, Ishaan!” I yelled in a few decibels louder than before and moved an inch backwards; my heart was surprised by the sudden move commanded by my head. “Yes. I did ask you to fight for us indeed. But, I wouldn't have done that if I knew it was possible at the cost of your life. You may hate me now for leaving you. But later, you'll thank me for doing this. You'd realise that I was giving you your peace.”

“But… I don't need peace. I need you,” he whispered in a voice so raspy as though something was almost blocking his throat.

“I need you as well, but… I realised that me and your mental peace can never coexist in your life.”

Annoyed at my speech, he clicked his tongue, walked a few steps away from me and sat on the platform with his legs crossed. After holding his forehead with his hands for a few minutes, he walked up to me almost instantaneously, placing himself close to me— so close that I could feel his seldom hot breath on me, and asked the question in an hopeful tone. “I'm asking this for one last time. Stay back, dear. Is staying back so hard for you?”

Pursing my lips to suppress my sobs, I replied, “So hard that leaving you seemed easier to me.”

Letting out an exasperated sigh, he concluded in a clipped tone. “You wanted to leave me, didn't you? Leave; as you wish to. But, don't ever think of loving me again. I warn you.”

“I wish I had the guts not to defy this,” I replied, allowing silence to engulf us together like the Invisibility Cloak. “Ishaan,” I called him and asked, “Give me your mobile. I need to go.”

After frowning out of confusion, he showed no expression as he understood the context and gave me the mobile after doing some work in it for a while.

Accepting it from him while noticing that the Music app was open already, I typed the song's name at the search bar. As the results came out almost instantly as a cue for me to leave the world finally, I couldn't help but cry aloud, giving myself the liberty to sob. Noticing me cry, Ishaan walked a few steps away from me and turned away, saying those last words he reserved for me. “I can't watch you leave. Unfortunately, I love you.”

Nodding a yes despite knowing that he can't see me, I clicked on the song and placed the mobile on the bench before closing my eyes.

Thousands of memories I had spent with him scrolled through my mind like a film roll. Be it the moment Harsh informing me of his surprise date, or those moments I binge-read You Belong With Me and sacrificing my sleep cycle, or those moments I sent a series of mails to Ishaan— whom I had assumed that to be as Aadya Chatterjee, or those initial days at Amalfi Coast with Ishaan, or the moment I fell in love with him when he was preaching about love, or the moment he proposed to me at Crapolla Cove, or the moment I had confessed to him about his existence and my love for him, or his initial days at my world, or my birthday night and that stealthy kiss, or those weeks I had rotted in his world, to this very moment I broke up with him… Everything was reeling in my mind so constantly that I didn't notice that I was back to my world already.

Back to my house.
Back to my life.
Back to loneliness and a black life.

Tears flowed through my cheeks as I was already texting Aadya Chatterjee through my mobile at the charger portal.

Me:
I give up. Give him back his peace. But, I need to know how you would restore peace there.

Trying to ignore the deep emptiness I was feeling in my heart, I pressed the send button and placed my mobile back on the charger portal. Lying on the bed with my legs hanging, I couldn't help but traumatise myself as the moment I kissed Ishaan was playing on my mind.

The mention of the kiss made me sit upright out of realisation. “Oh, shit!” I exclaimed as I ran back to my mobile, opened Spotify, and played You Belong With Me in an urge. The desperation of making it to the final moment and the fear of not making it to the final moment forced me to cry more than I did before. My heart thumped out of hope while chanting, “It will happen,” as I waited for whiteness to carry me down to his world.

For one last time.

***

I could sense that you readers are super mad at me. But...

I'm not telling you anything now.

Stay tuned for more!

P.S.: Four more chapters to go.