I don't know how long we'd been like that. Him holding me while rubbing my arm up and down and me leaning into him. I don't know how but I managed to relax my mind. Or maybe it was just his touch.

"Hey don't cry okay."

He said pulling away from me to wipe away my tears. I didn't even realise I was still crying.

"She'll never change will she? I've begged her so many times but she... she keeps hurting me Austin. I don't understand. How could she hate me so much? She doesn't even have any love left for me. I..."

My voice trailed off not knowing what to say. And Austin observed me quietly without saying a word. And I appreciated that. I just wanted him to listen.

"We were so happy you know. I had everything. Everything I could ever wish for. I didn't even know so much as pain and heartache because everything was just perfect for me. Until I turned thirteen. That's when everything changed."

I said wiping away a tear brutally.

"One day I just came from school and my dad told me he was leaving. That he already filed for a divorce and... I begged him not to go but he said he just lost feelings for her and he couldn't stay with someone he didn't love."

Austin let out a small gasp.

"And that's when she started drinking. She started accusing me of sleeping with elderly married man. I couldn't get it. She kept calling me names whether she was drunk or not and I never understood her. Her sudden hatred for me. I never even did anything that could lead her to call me a slut... a whore... a bitch. I think I've honestly heard those words more than anyone else in this world."

This time I just let the tears fall. I didn't even attempt to wipe them away. And I felt so much relief after I narrated my miserable life to him.

"I blame him sometimes you know."

I added.

"Your dad?"

"Yes my dad. Sometimes I think that if he would have stayed, I wouldn't have to endure so much pain. If he would've stayed then I'd still be that happy girl I was back then. If only-"

The tears were coming in full force again.

"It's okay. You don't have to beat yourself up over things you can't change. It'll just bring you pain."

He said reassuringly.

"I know but I can't help but wish that one day I'll wake up and everything will be back to normal."

He took my hand in his and kept rubbing small circles on it. I couldn't help but find this gesture heart warming. Especially coming from him. I finally wiped away my tears hoping none will cloud my tears anymore. I glanced at him finally taking his appearance in. He didn't look like he had been sleeping and he was wearing a black shirt and shorts. And he looked undeniably good. As always. I quickly diverted my thoughts from him.

That's when I looked down at myself just to find that I was still wearing the jacket I grabbed from the car earlier.

"I can't believe I slept in this."

I said trying to remove it. And that's when I felt it. The throbbing pain on my arms and shoulders. I completely forgot about the cuts I got. I bet the pain of the memories outdid the ones of the wounds. Probably why I didn't feel the pain when I was crying.

"Are you okay?"

Austin asked observing my face.

"Yes. I'm okay."

I said trying not to wince from the sudden pain.

"Wait..I'll help you."

He said moving behind me as he slipped the jacket off my shoulders. I'm sure that's where the cuts began because I heard him gasp.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

He asked removing the rest of it gently but I could still feel the cuts throbbing.

"I didn't want to trouble you more than I already did."

I said softly.

"And you think seeing them just now makes it any better?"

He asked trying to keep his temper at bay. I could see he was annoyed.

"Your arms are totally bloody and some of this cuts have gone deep. And you actually slept in this. What if you get an infection and... and-"

"You're blabbering you know."

I said with a small smile. He sounded concerned and I couldn't help but squirm inside at the thought of him actually caring about me.

"My point is, if you had told me before you went to sleep, I would have treated them earlier and they wouldn't be hurting so much right now."

He said getting up to retrieve an aid box from one of his drawers.

"What are you? A nurse?"

I asked trying to look at the back of my arms.

"No, a doctor."

He said making me smile. I made another attempt to get a glimpse at my wounds-

"Don't look."

He said softly as he started cleaning the cuts. I could see the dried blood though. And it looked quite bad so I'm sure he didn't want me to see that.

"It's that horrible huh."

I said taking my phone to look for any messages. I was disappointed to find none. What did I think? That Carol and Gail would text just to check up on me? I checked the time instead. It's just half past one in the morning. He started to apply the spirit and I winced. Yes it was that painful.

"Was it always this bad?"

He asked as he continued treating my cuts. His hands were unbelievably gentle. With his dark look and intense stare, the last thing you'd think he has would be soft hands. But he was so gentle I almost wished he'd... no. Those thoughts were forbidden so I quickly shrugged them off and thought about his question. He was obviously referring to my previous wounds.

"No. Usually she just slaps me and pushes me around. You know. And I hit my head on the bed or table. Nothing severe."

He stopped to look at me.

"Why are you being so casual about it?"

He asked staring at me intensely. How does he do that? Get to stare at me like that? With so much intensity in his eyes?

"Because I'm used Austin. Now it just seems normal."

"There's nothing normal about it."

He said still staring at me.

"I've learnt to accept the way she treats me as part of my daily routine Austin. I don't even feel normal when I don't have a single bruise or mark-"

"Stop that."

Austin said. His voice sounded strained and I turned to look at him. He quickly looked away and I couldn't really get why.

"You sound like someone who has given up on life."

He said placing plastas on the cuts.

"And why wouldn't I? What reasons do I have not to?"

I replied.

"There are so many things Ali. So many things."

He answered almost desperately.

"Speak for yourself Austin. You have so many things to live for. I don't."

I said with so much finality in my words that I didn't understand. I was never this pessimistic about life and now here I am speaking like someone who's going to commit suicide.

"I'm done."

He said choosing not to respond to what I said although I could see his mood has completely changed. He put the things he'd used  back in the aid box and stood up to place it on the table.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what's going on with me lately. I'm just so messed up I don't know what to do about it and it's stressing me out."

"It's fine."

He said but I could see from his voice that it wasn't fine at all.

"No it's not. I'm sorry about earlier. I was being such an ass and I apologise. You were just being nice and instead of being grateful I was being a bitch about it."

I said.

"Why though? Why did you say the things that you said?"

He asked. It took me some time to respond.

"Because I somehow had it fixed in my brain that everyone I get attached to will always end up leaving me in the end. And I was hell bent on cutting everyone out. But now I know I was wrong so I'm sorry."

I said and he nodded slightly.

"Apology accepted."

He said throwing me one of his shirts.

"Go freshen up and put that on."

"I'm not sleeping in black."

I pouted staring at him.

"But I only have black clothes."

He said. I don't understand the connection between bad boys and black.

"I'm sure you have something else."

I said.

"Well I don't. It's either that or nothing."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"If you wanted me to sleep naked you would have just said it."

"Well Ali, I want you to-"

"Don't even say it."

I glared at him as I stood up from the bed. I grabbed the shirt and walked to his bathroom.

"What's wrong with black anyways?"

I heard him mutter and I turned to look at him.

"I don't want to have nightmares."

"And who said dreams are associated with nightmares?"

He asked.

"I don't know. But I'm sure white is associated with fairy tales-"

He chuckled cutting me off.

"You wanna dream about us in Disney land. Married. Nice."

He said amusement evident in his eyes.

"Who said anything about you?"

I replied and walked into the bathroom as I heard him laugh. I couldn't help the smile that beamed on my face. How could he make me smile after everything that happened? I'm so glad I came here.

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