What?

You dropped the bouquet in shock, you were completely unable to move for a few seconds before you body started shaking. Tears formed into the corners of your eyes, your pupils weren't frozen like the rest of your body, they were reading and reading forever these same lines, trying to see, trying to find one clue that could tell you it was fake...

... But you didn't found any.

Your friend, the first one that was introduced to you in this world was no more. Christoph was dead.

You couldn't stand it anymore. You fell on your knees, in front of the tomb of your past friend, now fully crying.

You never experienced the loss of a close one. You already went to burials before but it was just some family members that you had never met or had attachment to.

But this... Christoph was your friend, a close one even... You never got so quickly close with someone than with him and Berthold.

You let out sobs, not caring if your pyjamas got dirty with the mud of the ground, you must have looked pretty pitying, looking like that.

You felt someone sitting next to you, you slowly turned your head towards the presence, your blurred eyes met the little girl's.

She had a sad look on her face, she seemed to have drastically changed since the last minute. She seemed to be older now, she wasn't acting like the child she were.

She rubbed your back, trying to calm you down but it only brought you back another wave of pain.

She didn't deserved that, she deserved to keep her innocence, she doesn't deserve to know the violence of the world, she doesn't deserve this terrible loss.

She deserved to live happily with her parents, both parents. She deserved to feel the joy of hugging her father once again when the war was over, to live happy moments with him.

How could this happen? When exactly did this happen? If you were here, could you have been able to save him? You already saved him once, you could have done it a second time, so where were you when this happened?

-"Please... Don't blame yourself." You  raised your head at the voice, it was Christoph's wife. Christoph's wife... You didn't even know her name. She kneeled down at your level like she did earlier with her child even if now it was a grown adult.

-"You didn't know about it right?" She asked you calmly, you just nodded weakly. She engulfed you into a hug, not caring if you were dirty. You closed your eyes and let out a shaky sigh, desperately trying to calm you down.

-"When did this happen?" You asked her quietly.

-"A month ago, but we found it only a few weeks ago."

-"I'm sorry... If I was here maybe I could have saved him, I already healed him once." You admitted, she just shushed you.

-"It's not your fault, I know he is happy that you healed him once, but he wouldn't have liked that you save him twice, he would have felt guilty for all his comrades fallen without getting any help." You sniffed, knowing she was right, it calmed you down a bit.

-"Don't put too much pressure on yourself, after all Christoph is still here next to us, I know he will keep a close eye on us." She said, her calming voice making your eyes heavy, you closed them, tired of crying so much. She was still rubbing your back before you drifted off to sleep.

She noticed you had fallen asleep and smiled a bit, even in the sorrow, you have to respect and accept the contingencies of life. She looked more closely at your features, sure, you made it clear that you didn't see yourself as an angel but she couldn't help but think that way, after all, such features, such appearance... It was only pictured in the paintings and engravings of the appearances of angels and holy beings... And that feeling... Being so close of you, she just felt so... Alive.

She stopped thinking, you weren't here anymore. The feeling of life she felt disappeared at the same time as you. She picked the bunch of flowers that you dropped in shock and stood up. She looked at her side, her daughter. It was only both of them now, they only had eachother. She handed the flowers at her daughter who took it then carefully placed it in front of the grave of her father.

They stood in silence for a few minutes. The sun had completely risen now, it's bright rays illuminated the ground and their dull faces. After a few moments, the mother took the hand of her daughter and together they walked back home, this time, knowing that it was now impossible that the third member of their family would be at home waiting for them.

(Why so emotional lol?)
~•~

(Y/N) Pov:

You lazily opened your eyes, your body was completely numb, you touched your cheeks, you had tears on them.  You sat on your bed, frowning, you weren't up to do a lot of things today.

You looked at the time, 10:00am. You thought that you had slept way more than that. Your sight suddenly became blurred, you tried to not let your tears fall off. You still couldn't accept that your friend died.

Friend... You just remembered that (B/F/N) wanted to see you today! You had to tell them the sad news, you needed a bit of confort from them anyways.

You got out of your room, before preparing yourself. You changed and went to eat. It's when you received a message from (B/F/N), you told them you were getting ready. You were ready to go but before you received yet another text.

(B/F/N)
-Hey

(Y/N)
Yo, I'm still getting ready sorry-

(B/F/N)
-No Problem

. . .

(B/F/N)
-Did you leave yet?

(Y/N)
I'm going to why?-

(B/F/N)
-I didn't even told you where we're gonna meet up (⁠-⁠_⁠-)

(Y/N)
You're right (⁠☉⁠｡⁠☉⁠)⁠!-

(B/F/N)
-ANYWAYS, I'm at the park see you there?

(Y/N)
Ok-

(B/F/N)
-Hey weird question but could you please bring your sketchbook?

(Y/N)
Ok but why?-

(B/F/N)
-... I wanna show you something

You raised an eyebrow at the request but did it anyways, not like you had anything to lose and you were too tired to argue.

Before putting your sketchbook in your bag with some snacks along the way. You wrote a note and put in on the counter in case your parents wonder where you are, you're an adult but they are still worried about you. You then got out and headed to the park.

(Timeskip)

You entered the park and spotted (B/F/N) on one of the swings, scrolling through their phone. Surely they scared the kids away to get the spot, they also were glaring at whoever wanted to take the second swing, reserving it for you.

You walked to them, well behind them and pushed the swing. They let out a scream and fell on the ground. Normally you would have laughed your ass out but now you just chuckled a bit. (B/F/N) turned and when they saw it was you, their eyes lightened.

-"(Y/N)!!!!" They exclaimed and ran up at you then hugged you.

-"Are you okay?" They asked you, concern in their voice, your voice got stuck in your throat. Did they know? No, they were only asking because you got out of the hospital right? Nevertheless you hugged them back.

-"Could have been better..." You mumbled but they heard it anyways. They let go and looked at you with concerned eyes.

-"Do you want to talk about it or...?" They asked you, you thought about it and when you were going to answer, you saw that (B/F/N) wasn't here anymore. You started to panic before you heard screaming ahead of you, you looked and saw (B/F/N) running at the swings, trying to put down a kid who took the swing when they were away.

You didn't hear all they were saying but you could decipher some bits of sentences like 'that was for my bestie' or 'you little dipshit!' you facepalmed then chuckled out of embarassment.

You walked out to them, they had successfully made the child ran away to somewhere unknown, maybe he went to get kidnapped. (B/F/N) sat on the swing and invited you to sit on the other one.

So here you were, swinging a bit, trying to focus on feeling the wind brush your skin and hair. There was silence until (B/F/N) apologized and asked you to repeat what you said. You looked at them sadly then sighed.

-"I did another dream last night." You told them, they stayed quiet so you continued.

-"This time I was in a cemetery... I found out that..." Your eyes were stuck to the ground.

-"I found out that Christoph was dead." You admitted. You both remained silent.  The whole park was silent. 'Weren't there kids yelling not even a second ago?' you thought.

-"So it was Christoph..." You heard them mumble to themselves, you turned your head at them, before you could ask anything they talked first.

-"I'm so sorry (Y/N). Really." They looked at you with saddened eyes. You smiled a bit, sadly.

-"Don't worry about it, someone already conforted me." You said, their eyes looked annoyed for a second but when they looked back at you they went back to normal.

-"I see..." There was an awkward silence so you changed of subject.

-"I brought my sketchbook like you asked me to. Why did you need it anyways?" You asked them while tilting your head. Their eyes slightly widened.

-"Oh, right!" They jumped off the swing and sat on a bench that was near before indicating you to sit with them.  You walked over and put your bag on your laps. (B/F/N) had the eyes stuck on it for a few seconds before they looked up at you.

-"Can you hand it to me please?" They asked, you nodded and searched into your the bag for your precious item. When you found it you gave it to them. They breathed out then opened it. You gave a look above their shoulder.

-"I wanted to show you something." They told you. Their voice was hesitant, you were a bit nervous.

-"Oh... Really? What's that?" They stayed silent, flipping through the pages.

-"I... I don't know how to say this." They admitted. You raised an eyebrow, you never saw them like this, they were so nervous. They ended up by sighing.

-"F*ck it, I'm gonna go from the beginning!" They exclaimed, all of a sudden which made you jump, either they didn't saw it or they just ignored it. They put your sketchbook next to them and turned to look at you.

-"(Y/N), look at me." You were confused but did it anyways, they had a solemn look on their face, you couldn't move away.

-"What I'm going to told you is gonna be very very hard to swallow, are you ready to hear it?" They asked you, their voice very serious. You didn't know what they talked about but nodded anyways. They continued to look at you in the eyes, trying to see if you really ready before they sighed once again.

-"Have you ever wondered why you were named (Y/N)?" You blinked. That was not something that you anticipated.

-"Well... My parents chose it for me? Because they liked it?" You said, unsure, what was the point of this? They hummed before going on their phone.

-"Do you remember the fanfics we used to read?" They asked you, okay what was the deal with these random questions?

-"Uh... Yeah? What did you say 'used to'?" You asked before realising that you stopped reading these fanficts too since you had your first dream. Well, that doesn't explain why they asked you this!

-"Do you remember the name of the protagonists that we see in a lot of stories?" You were still lost but decided to answer, maybe at the end of this there would be an explanation.

-"Well, it would be (y/n)'s or [name]'s if the stories were a reader insert why do you ask?" The stopped looking at their phone and tilted their head towards you.

-"What did you say?" You facepalmed, were they not listening?!

-"I said it was (y/n) or [name]."

-"Isn't that your name tho?" They asked, faking their innocence, you raised an eyebrow.

-"What are you talking about-" You stopped talking when realisation struck you. You widened your eyes and looked back at (B/F/N), they had a small smile, but it was kinda sad.

How did you not notice it?! You took your phone and went on the first app that appeared, Wattpad. You searched a reader insert on the app and sweat rolled on your forehead.

'(Y/N) was an ordinary girl when bla bla bla...' You gulped, '(Y/N)' Why did you never noticed it?! What the fuck is going on?

-"Weird huh? I got the same reaction when I realized." You turned to look at your side, your eyes still widened. (B/F/N) were looking at you, not surprised by your reaction.

-"...What?" You mumbled but they heard it anyways. They shrugged.

-"What can I say? It's not like (B/F/N) is any better. It literally means 'Best Friend Name' like, my whole purpose in my life is to be your best friend, kinda sad huh?" They said before chuckling, even if they didn't find anything funny. You were at a loss of words. What does that mean?

-"Same with your parents, Father Name and Mother Name, it makes me wonder if they had life before having you."

-"Stop it..." You weakly said, you didn't want to hear anything anymore, they understood it but they continued. You had to know that. It was unfair if you didn't, they didn't want to become crazy seeing they're the only one who knows.

-"(Y/N)..." They mumbled, understanding your current state, but you had to get through this.

-"You were constantly confused about your dreams, are they just dreams or were you in another world? You stopped the second theory, after all it was impossible right? A countryhumans's universe doesn't exist." (B/F/N) were still looking at you, they wanted you to know the truth but they didn't want to break you.

-"You're right. A countryhumans's universe doesn't exist. It's impossible to go in another world by sleeping. But it's still possible for us, because we doesn't exist." Here it was the deadly sentence, the truth

-"We doesn't exist, our universe doesn't exist, not any of us is real."

You were shaking, it wasn't true right? It was only a joke right? It was only a coincidence right? Right?!

~•To be continued•~

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Author's note

2537 words, so why do I feel like this chapter is small?

Lol, let's not talk about the end, it's better this way

I don't have anything else to say so bye!

Happy Ascension day!