✧⁠◝⁠(Author's note)⁠◜⁠✧

OMG, a new chapter without a two month time-lapse? Impossible!

I'm joking, I still took a long time to make this chapter, with about...zero excuses .

Anyway, feel free to enjoy this mess of a story for a bit longer.

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(Y/N) Pov:

-"Well? Explain yourself." Third Reich said while glaring at France, who looked stuck between staying shut or spreading his swear words vocabulary.

-"I..." France started but you cut him off, not wanting to stay in Third Reich's embrace.

-"I would prefer if you let me go." You told Third Reich sternly as you pushed his arms off you. He looked surprised before his eyebrows furrowed as he looked at you seriously and took a grasp of your wrist.

-"Be careful, (Y/N). My patience may run out quicker than you'd think. He warned you, his hand gripping your wrist very tightly with his nails entering your skin. His eyes darkened slightly with anger, even though it wasn't directed to you completely. He was angry at fate that it always tried to take you away from him whenever the chance. To make the distance larger between you two. He'd never want to hurt you, not you. But he had to this time, right? Or you'll leave again... But he still has to act like this towards you for the moment, not when everybody is watching, not when he genuinely acts like this towards everyone else.

You pursued your lips, not knowing what to respond. He was holding you tightly like if you were going to disappear if he let go. Maybe that's what he was afraid of, that you'd disappear and leave him like you did years ago, not like you did it willingly. But maybe you'd still have left him if the choice had been given to you.

-"Now you." Third Reich said as he looked back at France with a glare.

-"Don't make me invade the other half of your country." He threatened, before he turned around, dragging you with him with strength. The other countries let him pass and were all awfully quiet. You threw a last look at France before Third Reich shut the door harshly as he pulled you. Once he arrived in what seemed to be his office he let go of you and sighed, multiple emotions in his eyes as he stared back at you.

There was a long silence between the two of you. He looked at you with a frown, as if he had an inner fight, it was reflected by the conflicted feelings in his gaze. After a few minutes of just staring and observing you, his anger went away and a longing affection softly appeared in his eyes.

-"(Y/N)... You're finally back here with me...after all these years..." He gently caressed your cheek with his gloved hand. You first were surprised by the sudden mood change and slowly let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. You found it weird and wanted to push his hand off you, but you realised how much your body instinctively leaned into the touch, and you hated it. Your body craved affection, and his touch was more than familiar. You realised, that you missed your parents deeply. You missed your family, who would express the same affection.

You almost broke up in tears here and now, but you quickly took ahold of yourself. The person that was touching you wasn't a member of your family, nor was a loving person. It was a murderer and a dictator, and it was certain those same gloves that were in contact with your cheek had previously been in contact with blood, innocent blood.

-"My prayers have been heard. And my angel is back with me again." Third Reich whispered again, and you swore that you saw something in his cruel eyes,  a glimmer of light, like if him too was on the verge of letting a tear drop.

-"I'm not an angel." You snapped, but you had to make incredible effort to keep your voice steady. It was so hard and if you talked any louder, the shaking in your voice would definitely be noticeable. You had his warning in mind, but you desperately wanted to get his hand off you and scrub away any remains of his touch on your skin. He surprisingly got the hint and obeyed, as he gently pulled away his hand, but his eyes were still gentle.

-"Maybe you aren't... After all, an angel is still a servant of God. But you are neither of them. So tell me, lonely deity, why did you decide to leave me?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper and you noticed how hurt his voice really sounded even if he desperately tried to hide it.

You hated it. There was too much tension in the room, too much emotions. You hated how it felt like you had a connection with him, that you broke his trust and your bound with him. There was no connection, no trust, no bound. He's a murderer! He's a monster... Why do you feel like that? Why do you feel guilt, pity for him?  Why, when you look at him... You only see a broken little child?

...

But he's not a child, is he? He's a grown man. A cruel man who killed millions and millions of actual children, pregnant women, entire families. He killed all kind of innocents.

-"I can't do it, oh I can't do it..." You told yourself in a barely audible whisper that he fortunately didn't catch. Why was it so hard? Why was it so hard for you to hate him? Why did he look like that? Why couldn't he look as cruel as he did earlier? Why does it have to be that every time he looks at you... his eyes fill with pure happiness and adoration?

You couldn't do it. You wanted to go home. Where you don't have to worry about people personifying an entire dictatorship. You wanted to go back to your family, your parents, to hug them and cry on their shoulders. They'll always see you as their child, and you desperately want to be seen as such.

You had enough of being seen or interpreted as someone superior than you actually are. You felt like you were just a stupid teen who just got out of childhood. You didn't feel like an adult, an adult is always reliable aren't they? They always know what to do... You had been thinking that your entire life, and here you were, being as lost as ever!

...Maybe you should just... No (Y/N)! This wouldn't solve anything! Don't think about it. This time, there won't be any place to wake up into if you were shot again. You have to keep going. For you, and everything that makes you yourself, like your family or your friends... Are the r£@∆£r§ your friends? ...Whether or not, you still live for them unconditionally. Surely they care for you too. They've been here for a long time after all. They're the only travel companions that are left...

You sighed, feeling your mind getting lost in thoughts. You have to remind yourself where you were. In front of the biggest threat of the world you're currently in. Third Reich was still looking at you without anger but tenderness. If he didn't have his precious uniform on (nor a big swastika on the face), no one would have believed that he was guilty of a genocide that's still happening while you were standing. You didn't understand why. Everything would have been much easier if he acted like he should! Your brain then remembered the notion of time and you were glad to notice that not much time had passed since you indulged yourself in guilt tripping and nostalgia.

-"I didn't want to." You quietly spoke, your gaze meeting his. He looked taken aback by your sudden reply but didn't look less content.

-"I didn't want to leave you all." You repeated in a firm tone, reminiscing yourself about the memories you've made back then. You found yourself enjoying their presence. They made you smile and laugh, and you hung out with your dear friends, innocently oblivious to the real pain of the war. Third Reich started to smile as joy filled his mind. He wasn't expecting an actual answer, but hearing you talk nicely about the moments that you had spent with him (and his family) warmed up his heart... But you didn't finish.

-"Not yet." You said, which made him confused.

-"Not yet?" He asked with a confused frown, his moment of joy ended rather quickly. You gave a light nod, your arms falling back to your sides. You brushed the phone and the precious pouch you had in your coat's pocket with your fingertips to reassure you of their presence.

-"Yes. I didn't want to leave just yet. But I was planning on leaving anyway." You spoke a bit harshly, surprising him even more.

-"But why?" He asked, disoriented and even hurt. The few days of his childhood with you are the most precious memories he holds in mind, he was furious and killed Weimar because he was the cause that you weren't with him anymore. Now you tell him that regardless of Weimar and the bullet you took you'd still have left? He was lost. Completely confused. His eyes looked desperately for an answer, but he only saw your glare. One of the things he hated the most in the world. And he hated a lot of things.

"Why? Because I always knew that you'd be like this, that you'd do what you did... That you'd be a heartless monster! You were right back then, when we first met I was scared of you... But now, I feel more anger than fear when I look at you!" You stood tall, glaring and raising your voice. You went on and on... You tried to put passion in your words, to make it sound like you hated him, that you truly hated him. But despite that, despite that he was the one in front of you, you felt like you were yelling to yourself, hoping that the words that came out of your mouth would also influence your thoughts.

The silence that fell when you finished was deafening . You glanced towards him. He was staying still, like a statue. Like if he had never been anything else. Maybe he was really a statue. Except a statue never held so much emotion in two eyes of stone. Third Reich looked conflicted. He didn't know what to do nor act. He was a proud being, a proud man. And never did he allow someone to raise his voice at him. His pride was pushing him to shoot his gun at you by reflex. But his ideal worship of you was also very strong, but now it is getting more and more confused. But his obsession was still there.

-"You're allowed to go." He finally said with a voice empty of emotions. He wouldn't break when you were there, not when somebody could see him. You looked at him warily but nodded. This discussion had emotionally exhausted you two. You felt it. You walked and passed by him, brushing past his uniform before you exited the room, and closing behind you. He didn't even look back, he stayed still, the gaze lost in the wooden planks of the floor.

You stood there in the empty corridor for a few seconds more, sighing as you leaned your back against a wall. Damn you. You had only spent a few days with this child but you were somehow tightly attached to him. And now the consequences are on you. You took out the pouch which contained information about the future from your coat and sighed upon looking at it. It was far more complicated that you'd have expected.

You were going to put them back to safety in your coat when your fingers came in contact with your phone. You almost forgot it. After shoving the papers in your pocket,  you took out your phone and looked at it with a certain nostalgia. The last remains of your past life. You scrolled through the old apps while walking and hesitantly opened your contacts.

You bit your lip when you saw the numbers and names of your parents and past friends on the list. After staying still for a moment, you slowly decided to walk towards a room where it was sure you'd be alone. You reminded yourself of the tour that Berlin gave you. While doing so, you pushed in a desperate attempt on the 'call' option of your mother's contact.

You listened to the buzzing sounds of the phone with increasing nervousness while you quickly walked down the corridor. After falling on the answerphone multiple times you switched to about every member of your family, the tears pricking in your eyes from the deception of the hope you just gave yourself.

You pushed open a door while trying not to openly sob when you heard the fifth failed attempt of calling (B/F/N) end. You sighed and clicked on the re-call button without any hope left, just desperation. You listened to the vibrate with boredom while sitting against the door. That was, until the other end picked up.

You didn't notice at first because of hearing the phone vibrating for hours, but the call made you jump when you suddenly heard plenty of very indecipherable and loud noises on the other end. Shock made you freeze for a moment as you looked at the screen in disbelief, which showed how the call was going on. It was real. (B/F/N)... actually picked up? Even though the call was bad quality you didn't care. It's a wonder it even worked in the first place.

-"(B/F/N)!? (B/F/N) Can you hear me?!" You exclaimed while looking at the screen with wide eyes, like if you expected to see their face appear on the red phone icon. You anxiously waited for a reply after a few minutes. On the other hand you could only decipher very loud breathing (which grossed you out a bit) but that at least reassured you that someone was there.

-"(B/F/N)?" You called out again, wondering what they waited for, when they were clearly listening. You thought that you heard their voice, but it was so small and so short that you thought it was just your mind playing. That was when a voice spoke up, replacing the previous loud breathing...but it wasn't the one you expected.

-"(Y/N)! What a wonderful surprise!" You widened your eyes when the familiar voice spoke in your ears, you could almost hear the unhinged grin in the cocky tone of voice. You furrowed your eyebrows and glared at the wall, while your grip on the phone tightened.

-"You..." You mumbled angrily, you heard a laugh on the other line.

-"How insensitive of you to ask only about (B/F/N)! But I'll ignore that for now. Don't worry, they're fine! They're completely okay!" America's taunting voice haunted your ears while you heard some shuffling in the background, to which America responded by a snicker.

-"Well... Mostly okay. But what amazing device you got there! I'm so happy to hear your lovely angry voice again!" He cooed, and despite feeling sad a few minutes ago, you were now filled with an envy to find him and finally punch him in the face.

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