Hello, Lovelies,

Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you for checking out Jaded.  I truly hope you are enjoying it so far.  I truly appreciate the reads, votes and comments.  It means so much to me.  I truly appreciate all of you.  

I hope you enjoy this chapter.  Please let me know if you do.

-XXX Amanda

Warning: There is a sexual assault in the first section.  So, if this will disturb you please skip to the next section.  It is separated.  Also, there is a fight in this chapter.  So, there is mild violence.

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October 15, 1976

I rolled my eyes at Gail as we arrived at my fourth home since leaving my adoptive parents. Gail gave me an encouraging smile as she led me to the neat white home situated in an upscale neighborhood that made me feel as if I had no right stepping one toe over its border. Her eyes stayed toward me and she pressed her lips together, losing her smile as she took in my sour expression.

"These people are hoping to adopt you," she said, her eyes wide with stupid hope. Sadly, I was about to dash it into a million pieces.

"I don't want to be adopted," I said, causing her to wince. My heart squeezed in my chest as guilt slid through me. Though Gail had seemed hard at times, I knew she cared about me. The problem with that was that I didn't want her to.

She tilted her head as she studied me with eyes that shined with tears. Whether they were tears born of frustration or sadness, I didn't know, "Liza, not everyone is like-"

I put my hand up stopping her before we had this conversation for what seemed the zillionth time, "I don't want to talk about it...I don't want to talk about them," I said, motioning toward the door as she sighed, "Can we just get this over with?"

She nodded and swept her arm forward giving up any attempt to convince me this home would be a good fit for me so she could follow me up the steps to the red front door. I had a sneaking suspicion she was making sure I didn't run. She moved beside me and pushed the doorbell imbedded beside the door's frame. A woman in a pretty pink sundress that probably cost more than my entire wardrobe opened the door. A smile widened on her face and her eyes widened, brightening as they roamed over my face.

"Wow!" She said, clapping her hands together as her eyes made a path from my head to my feet and then, back again, "You are such a beauty!"

Gail nudged me in the ribs with her elbow when I didn't answer causing me to wince. I hated talking to the foster parents but it seemed she was going to force me to be polite...At least while she was here.

"Thank you," I said, forcing a smile as heavy as wet concrete across my face.

"Well, come in," the woman said, sweeping her hands toward the inside of her home and moving aside to allow us entrance, "I'm Mary Brexson."

I blinked at her but Gail nudged me again, "I'm Liza Tate."

Gail winced again but I had taken back my birth name after the failed adoption not wanting the reminder I was thrown away. She had fought with me over it, hoping my adoptive parents would change their minds.

Thankfully, she didn't say anything in Mary's presence. Instead, they moved away and I could tune out their conversation, not wishing to hear what a hard case I was yet again.

I studied the pictures in the hallway. All were of Mary with the man who I assumed to be her husband. He was handsome, in his forties with dark hair and eyes.

A door opened and the man in the pictures appeared. He was dressed in a business suit. His tie was askew but his eyes sparkled as his eyes moved over me before reaching my face.

"You must be Liza," he said, his voice deep, "I'm Patrick."

"I am Liza," I said, knowing that if Gail found out I was rude, there would be hell to pay.

"Would you like to see your room?" He asked, his voice bright.

I almost shrugged but remembered that Gail was still downstairs with Mary and nodded instead. He led me to the end of the hallway and opened the door. Inside, I found a large room with a bed in the middle and a dresser to the side. Though it was beautifully decorated, there was still an emptiness that told me it hadn't been used in a while.

"Why don't you freshen up and put your things away while we talk to Gail," he said, patting my back. I moved away from his hand and he frowned but it was gone an instant later, "I'll leave you alone to settle in. We'll call you down for dinner.

Two hours later, I suffered through an awkward dinner of pot roast and potatoes where they tried to make everything seem happy and normal. I excused myself as soon as my plate was empty and went to bed, falling asleep almost immediately.

A hand over my mouth woke me, "Don't scream."

I opened my eyes to find Patrick hovering over me realizing that though I would have gone against his order, I wouldn't have been able to with his hand clamped over my mouth. He moved against me and I realized he was naked. I trembled with fear as my mind offered up exactly what was coming.

Though I struggled, there was no way to buck him off me. Instead, my struggles seemed to spur him on. Tears flowed down my cheeks as he tore my panties away. Searing hot pain slammed through me as I closed my eyes. I wanted to fight but he was too strong. Sobs wracked through my body until he pulled away.

"I'm going to remove my hand," he said, narrowing his eyes in a way that threatened retribution if I made a sound, "You can tell if you want to but they won't believe you. I've read everything about you...The daughter of a murderer and a whore...Given up by your adoptive family...And in and out of homes that claimed you were a nuisance. You are nothing but a troublemaker and I am a respected man...A lawyer. No one will ever believe you over me."

Then, he was gone, leaving me in a room I couldn't sleep in. I rose from the bed and dressed in the darkness, grabbing the bag I didn't bother to unpack and moved toward the door because though I wouldn't be able to tell anyone...I wasn't staying here and allowing this to happen again. I moved to the front door on tiptoes and glanced around before sliding out of the house and into the night.

**********

June 8, 1982

A warm chest was beneath my cheek with a heartbeat thumping in my ear when I woke. No more dreams of Patrick had plagued me. I had only experienced safety and warmth. Even now, Tommy's arm tightened around me as if even in his dreams, he realized when I moved.

My eyes roamed over his face and my heart picked up speed. In his sleep, the hard muscles in his face relaxed. His jaw was no longer tense and he sucked in his bottom lip between his teeth, causing slight indentions in his cheeks. His long, dark hair fell over one cheek. I reached forward and brushed the strands away from his face with the tips of my fingers.

My eyes widened when his hand came up to grasp mine interlacing our fingers. His eyes opened still glazed with sleep and his electric blue eyes slid over my face as a frown wrinkled his brow.

"Sorry," I whispered sitting up but my apology halted on my lips as he brought my fingertips to his lips giving them a gentle kiss causing my breath to catch in my throat. His hand left my fingers to slide up my arm and over my neck before caressing my cheek in a way that made me feel as if I were someone precious to him.

My heart battered my chest as his hand slid behind my neck and pulled me toward him. His lips touched mine softly as my lungs failed to pull in a breath. My lips parted and his tongue swept into my mouth, as I leaned further into him but he pulled away to stare into my eyes. His gaze held fire that caused my body to heat as he leaned his forehead against mine.

"Liza," he whispered as he kissed my cheek. His erection pushed into my core and we both moaned, "We should stop."

I had never been impulsive with sex but with him, I wanted to be, "Why?" I breathed, surprised I wanted to continue. I had never wanted to before. Sex wasn't something I enjoyed but for some reason, this man ignited something in me that had laid dormant. I felt his lips stretch into a grin as he kissed my cheek, "I don't want to stop."

"Me either," he said as his nose skimmed my neck, causing me to shiver.

"Then, why?" I asked as someone knocked on the door. He raised a brow as I pulled away from him. He put his hands behind his head as I moved from him to stand on shaky legs.

"Who is it?" I asked, frowning as I regarded the door with caution.

"It's Kevin," But as soon as the answer moved through the door, Tommy cursed. Kevin's voice came through the door again a moment later, "Are you in there alone?"

I didn't get a chance to answer before the door flew open, causing me to jump out of the way so I wouldn't be hit. Kevin glanced from me to Tommy before settling on Tommy with an icy glare, "You slept with her?"

"That's none of your business," I said, stepping between them, wanting to stop Kevin from being angry with Tommy. He gripped my shoulder and shoved me hard. Before my body hit the floor, Tommy had risen from the bed to deliver a punch to his drummer's face.

**********

"What the fuck?" Jax said, entering the room as Tommy delivered a knee to Kevin's abdomen causing his breath to rush from his body.

"Tommy stop!" I cried as I stood from the floor but he slammed his fists into Kevin's sides. The sound of flesh meeting bone caused my stomach to turn.

Jax yelled, "Fight!"

Feet pounded against the floor as they reached my room. Megan moved to my side putting her arm around my shoulders and trying to pull me out of harm's way as Jax pulled Tommy off Kevin. Dave gripped his brother when he lunged toward Tommy, his fists curled and his face bloody.

"What the hell is going on?" Dave asked, his face reddening as he took in his brother's bruised and battered body. Micah stepped between them glancing from one to the other waiting for them to answer Dave's question as Tommy and Kevin glared at each other.

"He put his hands on her," Tommy said, through clenched teeth.

Everyone's eyes moved to Kevin, who was trying to shrug out of his brother's grip, "I didn't mean to hurt her," he said, his nostrils flaring causing more blood to flow over his lips, "I was trying to get to you."

"Why?" Dave asked, frowning as he glanced at me.

"He slept with her," Kevin said, spitting the words out as if they left a bad taste in his mouth. Megan raised her brow and glanced at me as I covered my face.

"So," Jax said, moving toward Kevin, "She's not your girl. If she was with Tommy then, she chose Tommy, not you. What the hell is wrong with you?"

My heart clenched as his shoulders fell forward and his head drooped, "I thought...I thought she would like me," he whispered and I winced because I had only wanted to be his friend.

"You have girls falling all over you," Jax said, narrowing his eyes, "Choose one of them."

"I'm sorry," I whispered as guilt swam through me. I had been in the house less than twenty-four hours and already I had caused trouble. Megan's arm tightened around me.

"Uh-uh," Micah said, narrowing his eyes on me, "You're not taking the blame for this. This is Kevin's fault. Did you ever tell him you wanted to be with him?"

I shook my head as I glanced at Kevin, "No," I whispered.

"Then, he should have known better," Jax said, his eyes narrowing on Kevin as his face fell. No matter Jax's words, I still felt that guilt clenching my chest and causing my stomach to swirl. Micah met my eyes, "Then, the rest is between you and Tommy," he said and then, narrowed his gaze at Kevin, pointing his finger at him, "And I better not hear that you put your hands on any other girls or you won't only have to worry about Tommy. You'll have to worry about me too."

"I'll help him," Dave said as Kevin shrugged out of his hold.

"Fine," Kevin said through clenched teeth and then, stomped out of the room.

"Sorry, bro," Tommy said, licking his cut lip as he glanced at Dave.

"Kevin fucked up," Dave said, glancing at me, "I'm sorry for him. He will calm down and it will be fine. His temper fucks him over sometimes. He's not a bad guy. I promise."

"I believe you," I whispered as my stomach churned.

"All right," Megan said, studying my face, "Let's leave them alone."

They moved toward the door but Megan stopped and turned toward me, "We're going to talk later, okay?"

I nodded and then, she followed them out of the door, closing it behind her and leaving me and Tommy alone. A tremble shook through me as guilt and sadness mingled. In and instant, he was wrapping me in his arms, giving me comfort as I tried to find a way that this wasn't my fault.