raven was sat on the back of the cart with finn's body while two horses that grounders sat on pulled them. clarke and kodie walked side by side while bellamy, abby, kane, octavia, lincoln and a few others from the ark followed behind.

when kodie saw clarke flinch she placed a hand on the girl's back. she had been doing that a lot over the trip. "you okay?"

"i'm seeing him everywhere." she mumbles.

"hallucinations." kodie nods. "that's how i felt when i had my first grounder kill. since finn meant a lot for you it's probably scarier—more effective."

"clarke, you doing alright?" bellamy steps up next to the blonde.

"yeah." clarke nods.

"you did the right thing." he responds after a few seconds.

"and now i get to live with it." she sighs before looking at him. "you still think this truce is a bad idea, don't you?"

"i think we're wasting time with politics while our friends are in trouble." he says.

"we need their army to get to mount weather and you know it." kodie cuts in.

"was i talking to you?" he snaps.

"she's right, bellamy." clarke says.

"their army has been getting their ass kicked by mount weather forever." bellamy says, directing his statement to clarke. "what we need is an inside man. someone to be our eyes and ears."

"forget it. it's too dangerous." clarke shook her head.

kodie speaks up again, "is that your way of saying you would do it?"

"yeah." bellamy shrugs, acknowledging her now. "if clarke can make it out, i can make it in."

"i said no." clarke shakes her head again.

bellamy shook his head. "since i don't take orders from you i'm gonna need a better reason."

"i can't lose you too. okay?" she glanced over at him before looking at kodie. "i can't lose either of you." bellamy and kodie exchange a small glance before the three continued to walk in silence.

when nightfall came and they stopped to rest, the sky people set up their tents while the grounders slept on the ground. lexa was the only grounder with a tent and when kodie had approached it in hopes of talking to her, indra was there.

"may i speak with the commander, please?" kodie asks.

"what for?" she responds.

"reasons." kodie crosses her arms over her chest. indra makes her way inside the commanders tent, returning a few moments later, giving her a small nod to go inside. kodie pushes the flap aside as she walks in and is greeted with a freshly clean-faced commander.

"you wanted to speak to me?" lexa raises an eyebrow.

"i wanted to know if i could be on guard with the others. you never know how many people you could need for wild animals or reapers." she shrugs her shoulders and lexa tilts her head.

"my people are perfectly capable of taking care of wild animals and reapers, but if you must..." she trails off as she rises from her sitting position on the bed. she walks over to the entrance of the tent. "indra."

indra stepped inside the tent. "sha, heda."

"get me a sword." she spoke in english as her gaze never left kodie. indra was only gone for a moment before returned with said item. lexa pulls the sword from its holder and examines if before slipping it back in. "this is yours now."

"i mean, i have a knife, but—"

"a small knife will not do you justice forever." lexa said calmly before looking at kodie's bandaged hand. "are you right-handed?"

kodie nods, "yes, but i'm fine to use the sword."

"good." she holds it out to kodie and kodie slowly takes it before slipping the strap over her head. she reached behind her and pulled out the sword, examining it herself before she slipped it back in the holder.

"thank you, commander." kodie bows slightly before heading out of the tent. her eyes landed on bellamy who was sitting with his back to a tree. they locked gazes for only a second as kodie turned away to walk out of the area everyone was camped out at.

she rested against a tree as she looked at her surroundings. it was quiet and the breeze was so soft that you could barely see the leaves moving on the trees. she could here the faint chatter of everyone inside their little camping area, but she didn't listen in on people's conversations.

when leaves crunched behind her she quickly turned around, ready to pull out her sword, but let a sigh fall from her lips when seeing bellamy. she turned her back to him as she continued to look around.

"so, you're one of them now?" he asks, eyeing the sword on her back.

"i thought we were all grounders now?" she crossed her arms over her chest, but refused to look at him. "you said that, remember?"

"yeah," he nods. "i remember saying that." he steps closer to her. "but we're our own kind of grounders."

"i choose to be my own kind." she responds, feeling his presence directly behind her.

"so you gave finn up, had clarke kill him and now you're going to lexa for weapons, guarding like them?" he asks, indirectly stating that he has talked to clarke about what happened.

"clarke told you that finn wanted me to give him up, right?" she spoke quietly. "she told you how if i didn't turn him in, he was going to do it himself?" when he didn't answer she gave a small nod. "yeah, i turned him in, but it was for a good reason." bellamy was so quiet, she wasn't even sure he was standing behind her anymore. "if the grounders trust me, we can get somewhere and as of right now it seems like they do." she swallows the lump in her throat. "lexa trusts clarke, too. the more of us they trust, the better."

"the grounders can trust you," bellamy spoke quietly. "but how do i know i can trust you?"

she furrows his eyebrows and turned to face him. "remember how i wanted you to stay and you did?" her eyes wanderd over his freckled face. "i trusted you because of that." she clenched her jaw. "remember how you wanted me to stay and i did?" she paused before shrugging her shoulders. "i figured you would at least try to trust me." he remained silent and a frustrated sigh left kodie's lips as she ran her fingers through her hair. "alright, fine. you win, okay? if you wanted me to hate you and feel like i shouldn't trust you, then congratulations. you won."

"haven't you hated me for awhile?" he asks before shaking his head. "it's just hard to think you're going to the other side."

"i'm switzerland." she responds, throwing her hands up. "i've said it once and i'll say it as many times as it needs to be said." he opens his mouth to respond but quickly shuts it and looks away. she turns her back to him again. "now if you don't mind i'd like to get back to my guard."

"kodie," he lightly grabs her arm, but she doesn't even flinch as she looks out into the darkness. "i trust you, okay? i know what happened to finn was you just trying to protect yourself and anyone you could."

"god," she groans as her palm hits her forehead and she turns to him again. "i did it to protect my friends." she eyes him. "i did it to protect to you."

"how can you protect me?" he scoffs.

"i can defend you if it's ever needed with the grounders." she states. "i can also help figure out a way to get you into mount weather."

"you'd help me get into mount weather?" he raises an eyebrow.

"i can talk to clarke and lexa about it." she states. "you see? i trust you enough to go inside mount weather."

"you know how dangerous it is." he states. "yet you're trying to help me get in there?"

"bellamy," she sighs. "you're strong. i know you can take care of yourself and i know you can make it in there. i know you can save our people and i know you can save theirs too. i believe in you."

he eyes her. "would it be wrong of me to kiss you right now?"

she doesn't even hesitate as she responds, "extremely."

"can i do it anyway?" he asks.

"no, bellamy." she shakes her head. "now is not the time for this."

a dry laugh leaves his lips. "is there ever a time for it?"

"i'm supposed to be on watch and you're not helping me." she states before turning her back to him again.

"you're not really needed on watch right now." he says as he steps closer to her, the sword in its holder on her back the only thing separating them.

she feels him move her hair to the right side of her head and as his lips graze over the skin on the left side of her neck she clenched her jaw and crossed her arms over her chest, trying not to put any attention towards bellamy and his actions. she shifted her weight from her left foot to the right as he left small kisses on her skin.

goosebumps rose on her jacket covered arms and she sighed, stepping forward to put distance between them. as she turned to face him she didn't have time to speak as he pressed his lips to hers. his fingers tangled in her hair as he pulled her closer, deepening the kiss. her hands were at her sides because she didn't know what to do with them. when bellamy finally pulled away kodie looked at him, confused and slightly shocked.

"why did you do that?" she asks.

he shrugs his shoulders. "you're supposed to be on watch, right?" a smirk forms on his face as he licks his lips. he kisses her again and starts to back up. "me: three—murphy: one. who's winning now?" he finally turned around and walked back over to the camp area.

kodie's lips felt weird as she licked them, but she shook the thought from her head as she focuses on her dark surroundings, watching like she was supposed to.

//

IMMA FEEL TOTALLY SHITTY FOR WHAT IM ABOUT TO SAY SO IM SORRY

i've decided to discontinue this story for the time being. i haven't written anything for this book in over six months so i'm at a loss.

i may continue this in the future but as of right now it is discontinued

thanks for reading if you do and i'm sorry for this xx