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KILL FOR YOUR LOVE.

act three.

(chapter fifty-four, what had she done?)

the cells / the lab, 75 ADD.

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RAYMOND CARMINE. 

HIS NAME was Raymond Carmine, the boy from the Seventy-Third, the boy that came second. He was sixteen and had two sisters, both younger. His father worked at the Milking Station, but Orion Hale couldn't recall the bloke. Raymond Carmine liked oranges, something he had stated when an Avox brought him his breakfast on the day of the interviews. He would switch from holding his knife in his left hand to his right every meal. He would tie a double-knot with one pair of his laces, but somehow forgot to repeat it with the other because he would get distracted by what Brent Higgins was mumbling about. And he looked exactly like Justice Hale, except he had a longer face than the Hale twin. 

Oranges. Double-knot. Switching Knives. 

Feathers. Dirt. Stars. 

Dakota Hood and Jeremy Marinas, they were the tributes for the Seventy-Fourth. The former was sixteen. Small, skinny, on the verge of death. She had violet bags residing underneath her eyes and she was extremely shy. She was terrified of everyone, but she was the sweetest being. She had tried to get rid of the mud off her shoe before entering the train. She had tried to eat with her mouth closed. She was obsessed with the stars. 

And then Jeremy Marinas. He was eighteen and had a crippled foot. He always walked with a limp due to the pressure of his tallness. And then he had just started working at The Breeders, caring for the calves. He stunk of cows and grain and had layers of dirt underneath his fingernails, which caused Nadine to be appalled. Jeremy Marinas and Dakota Hood were dressed in golden feathers for the interviews. 

Feathers. Dirt. Stars. 

And they were all dead because of Juniper. 

"Oh, you're finally awake." 

Juniper tried to sit up to see who was talking to her, but there was an incredible pain in her chest that restricted her from moving upwards. And so, she turned her head to the side to see Johanna Mason leaning against the bars that divided her cell and Juniper's. The woman was eyeing her intently. 

"What?" Juniper managed to cough out. Her head was pounding. Carrie Ford. Raymond Carmine. Dakota Hood. Jeremy Marinas. Raymond, Dakota, and Jeremy were the three figures in her head. She could see them clearly now. They were dead. They were all dead because of her. 

"You've been out of it for two days." Johanna scoffed. 

"Two days?" Juniper coughed and as she did, a shooting pain rippled through her, causing her to wince. 

"Yep." Johanna nodded as she sat back down. She seemed to look dirtier than she did last time and her hands were shaking more. "I don't know what they did to 'ya, but you were crying and crying. Then you fell asleep. For two days." 

"What was I crying about?" Juniper asked as she slowly tried to get up. She could see that both Annie and Peeta were curled asleep in their own cells and she felt slightly embarrassed she had cried in-front of only Johanna Mason. But there was no mocking heard in her tone nor visible on her face. 

"Someone called Raymond." Johanna shrugged. "Who is he? Your lover?" 

Juniper narrowed her eyes at the woman before snapping, "He was a kid I mentored." 

"Oh," Johanna said. "I'm surprised you remember yours. I forget them after they die." 

The Hale woman felt her heart twist and twist until all the blood had been squeezed out. She tried to ignore Johanna as she held her head in her hands. Everything hurt and everything was on fire. They were all dead. Raymond Carmine, Jeremy Marinas, Dakota Hood, and Carrie Ford were all dead because of Juniper Hale, because she didn't try hard enough. 

And Blight. And Gloss. And Cashmere Nicholo. And Ash. And Cedar. And Leona. And Wing. And Hermes. And Rayon. And Dallas. And Justice. They were all dead because of her, because she either slaughtered them or didn't try hard enough. 

What had she done? 

Swallowing, she tried to shake the thoughts out of her head, but when they wouldn't go away, she asked Johanna, "So, what happened when I was out?" 

"Well, food's starting to come back, but barely." Johanna huffed. "It's very small portions, just enough to have us begging for more. And they're becoming stricter." 

"How?" 

"Well, let's just say the punishments aren't just little love bites anymore," she said. "They're on edge so they're taking it out on us... but they're not asking about the rebellion anymore, not where or who they are." 

"Do you think something happened?" Juniper asked. 

She wished something had. She wanted something to have happened. They had been in the Capitol for four weeks and five days. It was nearing thirty-five days and Juniper could feel herself falling apart with every passing minute. She couldn't seem to shake the ghosts out of her head. They remained there, which was unusual because Juniper Hale had always been good at pretending something is okay when it's not. But the bodies, the screams, they were entering her head and not leaving. And they all blamed her. So, Juniper wanted something to have happened with the rebels because it was nearing five weeks and they hadn't done anything yet. 

"I don't know." Johanna shrugged with a scoff. "But the Capitol are talking about releasing an interview. That's what I heard Clampitt say anyway." 

"An interview? With who?" 

"Baker's boy." Johanna gestured to Peeta, who was muttering in his sleep. "He said they did it with him when he got here... well, when he was sane enough to say other words except mutt." 

Juniper furrowed her brows, but let out a sigh as she said, "Makes sense, show him he's on their side. Who did he do it with? Flickerman?" 

"Who else?" Johanna scoffed. 

And with that, their conversation ended as Annie awoke with a cry. And as Juniper leaned against the wall of her cell, the thoughts wouldn't leave her head. She had forced herself to forget about Raymond Carmine, Jeremy Marinas, and Dakota Hood the days they died. But whatever Clampitt was doing, whatever was going on in Juniper's mind, they all came flooding back with Carrie Ford. And the memory that they had all died because of her was strong. Their blood was on her hands as well as all the others. 

Juniper thought back to when Blight hit the force field, how her hand slipped and caused his death. Then to Gloss and how her knife lodged into his forehead. And then to Cashmere Nicholo. And then to Ash and Cedar, how her blades took their lives. Then to Wing and Hermes. And Leona. And Rayon. And Dallas. And Justice. She had killed her brother. What kind of sister did that? Justice was dead, he was gone and he was never coming back. Juniper took his life. Yes, he asked her too, but she slit his throat. Juniper had killed her other-half, her twin. 

What had she done? 

It must have been afternoon because after an hour, Peacekeepers' stormed in and took Peeta away. His screams started shortly after that. But they didn't sound human. They sounded like a wounded animal crying for help. Juniper winced slightly as she stared at the metal door. And as Johanna had stated, it was like the jabberjays in the arena, but only real and they didn't stop after an hour. 

Trying to block Peeta Mellark's screams out of her head, Juniper began to think back to two people she hadn't thought about in a while. Nadine Groves and Yara Give. Were they dead? Had the Capitol tortured them? Punished them? Or were they with the rebels? Juniper didn't care for the escort or the stylist, but she didn't want more blood on her hands. They were already so soaked in the crimson liquid that Juniper didn't know if she had enough room on her flesh left for them. They were all dead and because of her. 

What had she done? 

Juniper then thought back to Raymond Carmine. He was her first proper tribute. Brent had taken Carrie Ford and probably doomed her to her death, but Juniper had taken Raymond. And yes, she probably doomed him as well, but he was her first proper tribute. He was the first person that she didn't know, but who listened to her without fear. Raymond didn't judge her. He, after a while, trusted her. But then she killed him. She let the boy from Two, Wade Rankine, smash his head with a brick. And he was so close to coming home. 

As Peeta let out an ear-piercing scream, the Hale woman winced and so did Annie as she was curled up in the corner of her cell. The only person that didn't seem effected by Peeta's torture was Johanna as she stared up at the ceiling. Juniper figured she would have gotten used to it by now. There was a moment where it would have been just her and Peeta in the cells before Annie came along. She would have heard all of Mellark's screams and would have to endure it alone as she rotted in the cages. The Hale woman felt herself swallow a lump in her throat. 

Soon, Peeta was escorted back into his cell by two Peacekeepers'. The boy had blood pouring from a gash on his forehead, the crimson liquid dripping into his eye, and he was shaking terribly. Tremors riddled throughout him and he was hitting his head with his fists roughly. Juniper clenched her jaw as she watched him. That was not the boy who muttered a prayer with her for Cashmere Nicholo.

And it made her heart crack slightly. 

"Mutt... she's a mutt... mutt." 

"Is he talking about Everdeen?" Juniper asked Johanna. 

"Yeah," she responded. "I mean — who else would he be talking about?" 

Juniper furrowed her brows as she continued to watch Peeta Mellark. She never liked the boy. She had been impressed by him during the interviews at how he had the Capitol people wrapped around his fingers, but she never liked him. He shouldn't have survived. He and Everdeen shouldn't have both won. But Juniper remembered the warmth in his eyes. The comfort. The soothingness. The pure innocence, for his soul had not been taken by the Games. But now, as he sobbed and sobbed as he hit himself, on the brink of starvation with his flesh riddled with dirt and muscles twitching with tremors, there was no comfort, soothingness, or warmth in his eyes. There was no innocence. There was rage. Confusion. Sorrow. Pain. The Capitol was destroying him. 

What had she done? 

She never should have let Peeta Mellark run away from her that night. Juniper never liked him, but she never should have let him out of her sight. And now, she was paying that consequence. If the Hale woman had tried to get him to safety, the boy never would have been taken by the Capitol. He wouldn't be turning into a monster. It was her fault that she had let him run away. 

What had she done?

A few hours passed and Peeta calmed down. He had stopped hitting himself and was trembling in his cell as his eyes darted around. They seemed to linger on Juniper as his brows creased up slightly. Did he know it was all her fault, his captivity? Did he blame her?

"Did Clampitt say she was going to come?" A voice echoed around, causing all the Victors' to snap their heads up to see two Peacekeepers' entering through the metal door. Their voices were muffled by their masks. 

"Nah," the other said. "She said she was going to skip this session. Got a meeting with the boss. Said to leave it up to us."

"Well, ain't that sweet of her?" 

The two Peacekeepers' laughed as they passed Peeta's and Johanna's cells, stopping at Juniper's. One dug his hand into his pocket and brought out the golden, shiny key. He turned it into the padlock, letting the door open. Juniper clenched her jaw as she tried to narrow her eyes, but she let out a sudden yelp when the two soldiers, with their tightest grips, grabbed ahold of her biceps and launched her up. She knew more bruises would be born onto her skin. The ones on her legs and arms were slowly turning into a greenish, yellow colour.

"But Doc did say to be careful of her ribs," the second Peacekeeper to speak told the other as they began to drag Juniper out. She didn't struggle as a shooting pain went running along her chest, causing her to hiss as nausea began to rise. "Apparently the other guys fractured them and she doesn't want them to completely break." 

"Oh, yeah, heard about that," the other soldier said. "But we still got orders to give her a good beating."

"Of course we do, man. That's where the fun is." 

Juniper felt herself become sick as they dragged her into the lab once more, but there were barely any doctors around. There were odd ones spread throughout the area, but it looked as if they were already packing up. But Juniper couldn't bear to furrow her brows as she was dumped atop of the drain. Someone was refilling Johanna's bucket and that was when Juniper could feel herself blanch.

"Right, what did Clampitt say to ask her?" 

"She didn't say," the soldier told his peer. "Said to forget asking them about Heavensbee." 

"Ah, I can't believe I guarded that guy." 

The Hale woman tried to stand up to at least see the two Peacekeepers' towering over her, but the only thing she was able to see was the bottom of a boot plummeting into her face. Juniper was knocked back down as the chuckles of the Peacekeepers' echoed around. And then boots were followed by fists and fists were followed by sticks and soon, every numbed pain came rushing back. And what was much worse than being beaten up was that the soldiers cackled relentlessly. 

"This can't be the same chick from the Seventy-Second," one expressed. He pounded his fist into the back of her head, causing Juniper to try and cower away. "The one that killed those eight kids."

"Nah, of course not," the other told him. His boot kicked Juniper right in the ribs, causing her to scream out in pain. "She looks pretty defenceless now, aye?" 

"You know, this one was sold?" 

Juniper felt herself want to puke as she heard their chuckles bounce off of the walls. Torturous pain filled her up as things popped and cracked. Her head was spinning, vision blurry, but she was sure blood was being splattered along the white tiles of the floor. She could feel herself begin to pant as she tried to curl into a small ball. 

Sold. 

"Oh, yeah!" One of the Peacekeepers' let out a gasp. "I heard about that. Didn't think it was true."

"Yeah, big guy up top told her to," the other said. "Just like with that chick from One and that bloke from Four. They were all sold, weren't 'ya?" 

A tremor rippled through Juniper's body as she felt a tear brush her cheek. She was trembling as she balled herself up. She didn't want to be in the Capitol. She didn't want to hear the Peacekeepers' comments, speaking about subjects they didn't understand. Juniper just wanted to be at home with her father. She just wanted to go home. She didn't want to be here. 

What had she done?

"Some say she did it by her own account." Wrong. 

"Her own account? Yeah, I heard she asked to do it." Wrong again. 

Juniper tried to block out their words as she clamped her hands over her ears. She tried to go deep into her head, to ignore the pains rippling through her body. The Hale woman tried to think of something, anything to get her mind off of her current situation. But whatever came into her head, it was rudely interrupted by the fists, boots, and comments of the Peacekeepers'. 

"How long has it been going on?" The Peacekeeper asked his peer. 

"Ah, since she won, I think," the other replied. "Or maybe a few months after. I don't know, but I sure wish I got a slice of her."

"Nah, I would want the girl from One. That sister?" 

"Oh, dude, yes! I secretly betted on her during the Quell, but damn Mason killed her." 

Cashmere Nicholo. 

Juniper felt a guttural scream begin to build up and, after an agonising kick to her ribs, it burst out of her lips. It echoed off of the walls and the Hale woman was sure Johanna, Peeta, and Annie could have heard it from their cells. But she didn't care. Everything hurt. Everything was on fire. And the two Peacekeepers' only stopped when all of the doctors left the lab, signalling that they should stop their relentless attacks. 

And as they picked her up, dragging her back to the metal door, Juniper felt her head loll backwards as she began to choke on thin air. Every limb, bone, muscle, and piece of flesh was trembling. Tremors ran through vigorously. Searing pain shot up through every fibre of her being. Her flesh was a mixture of new and old bruises. 

The Peacekeepers opened her cell door, throwing her in as they swiftly locked it back up, exiting the room. Juniper knew all eyes were on her, but she couldn't seem to care as she managed to spit out a huge wad of blood. She was sure some of her teeth were cracked.

"Well... I told you they were getting rougher." 

Juniper ignored Johanna as she laid on her back. She was trying to get her breath back, but with every inhale, agony trembled through her. The Hale woman was certain the Peacekeepers' had hit her squarely in the ribs multiple times. But despite the physical pain that washed over her, the soldiers' words were still echoing around in her head.

("Ah, since she won, I think," the other replied. "Or maybe a few months after. I don't know, but I sure wish I got a slice of her.")

("You know, this one was sold?")

("Her own account? Yeah, I heard she asked to do it.")

Juniper could feel puke rise in her throat, nearly bubbling past her lips as she tried to forget about what the Peacekeepers' laughed about. But they didn't understand. How could they? To them, she was a mare up for sale. A piece of cake everyone wanted a slice of. Snow sold her. And she didn't do it by own account. She didn't want to do it. She wouldn't even dream about asking. She had only agreed to President Snow due to the threat he made about her father. The Hale woman had lost so much, she couldn't bear to lose the only family she had left. 

The memory of Snow's threat caused shivers to cascade down her spine as her heart momentarily stopped beating. She was suffocating on the thought of the man's sweet, poisonous smell. She gagged at the thought of his white rose that he always wore on his lapel. After his visit when Juniper turned eighteen, his stench always lingered around the house. It was like it was following her. It was like he was following her. It felt as if Snow was watching her every movement.

And even then, as Juniper laid in her cell as she felt every form of pain roll through her, Snow was still watching her. His stench was still following her. His hands were still clinging onto her. 

What had she done?