chapter eleven, i got wasted like all my potential

tw: alcoholism, mention of self harm
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄

Izzy had been sitting outside, people-watching as she drank her second cup of alcohol. If she was going to get through this after-party, she needed something in her system. Typical, using alcohol as a way to numb what she was feeling.

She was avoiding Ethan as much as she could and she has yet to come across Miguel, or anyone else that she recognized. It was a lonely feeling, but the company of the alcohol in the cup seemed to be filling some of the loneliness inside of her.

She stared down at the cup in her hands as everyone moved and talked around her. She felt like she was invisible, at least until someone acknowledged her existence.

"Hey, you okay?" When Izzy looked up, she saw Robby walking up with a red cup in his hand.

Izzy's eyes rolled as she looked back to her cup, "Do you actually even care?" She snapped at him.

     "I mean, yeah, that's why I came over here." Robby shrugged, taking a seat in the chair next to Izzy.

     She watched him and then let out a deep sigh, neither of them saying a word to each other for a few seconds until Izzy spoke up. "I saw you came with Tory. When did that happen?" Izzy asked, taking a sip from her cup.

     A laugh came from Robby, "Nothing is even happening. We both needed prom dates, so we came together." He explained, mocking her action and took a sip from his drink as well.

     "You came with Ethan, where is he?" Robby asked out of curiosity and Izzy rolled her eyes again, hearing the name putting her in a worse mood than before.

"He made my night horrible, so I'm avoiding him." Izzy confessed, looking around at the people passing by to see if she saw any other familiar faces.

She was looking for someone in particular, but she couldn't find him at all. There were so many people around her, and Robby was right next to her, but all Izzy wanted was Miguel. Izzy looked back over at the Keene boy when she heard him speak up again.

     "So I'm guessing you and Miguel aren't together anymore?" Robby seemed hesitant to ask the question, mostly out of fear that he would piss her off. Normally it would, but the alcohol in Izzy mixed with her emotions put her in a more melancholic mood than usual.

"It's just a complicated situation." Izzy's voice was low and had a sad sound to it. She took a long sip from her cup, drinking the rest of the alcohol in it and left the cup empty as she set it down on the table beside her chair, starting to feel the buzz enter her system.

     Miguel had walked into the backyard where it seemed to be less crowded, especially since it was where the drinks were at. Sam followed behind him, going on about some plan she had for the All Valley, but Miguel stopped listening once his eyes found Izzy.

     A small smile formed on his lips at the sight of her, feeling like his heart was about to beat right out of his chest, but then his eyes noticed Robby sitting next to her. He saw him laughing, and he saw her smiling, and Miguel felt jealous for some reason.

What was she laughing about? What could Robby Keene be saying that was so funny? Miguel felt his jaw clench, he thought Ethan was going to be his only problem tonight.

"Um, I'll get some drinks." Sam said to the boy and he just nodded, watching her leave to go around the pool to where drinks were at on a table and his eyes glanced back over to Izzy and Robby.

Izzy watched as Sam passed by her, the LaRusso girl glaring at her as she went by, and Izzy just ignored her shifting her eyes elsewhere. That was when Izzy's eyes finally met with Miguel's and before Izzy could even get up, Ethan blocked her view from Miguel and stood in front of the girl.

Her eyes rolled as she looked up at the boy, unsure of what he was going to say or do, but Izzy could tell he had a few drinks from the way his face was red.

"I've been looking everywhere for you." Ethan spoke up, staring down at the girl. "Are you ignoring me or something?"

Robby observed Izzy as she let out a sigh, her mood clearly ruined now that Ethan was standing in front of her. She glanced over at Robby and muttered some words out, "I'm going to the bathroom." Izzy spoke out loud.

She went to go get up and walk past Ethan, but he grabbed ahold of her wrist to stop her. Izzy turned to furrow her eyebrows at Ethan, trying to get her arm out of his reach and he didn't let her go.

"What are you gonna do? Go run off with your fake boyfriend?" Ethan asked, loud enough for Robby to hear who had knitted his eyebrows together, and Ethan peered down at the girl.

"Get the hell off of me." Izzy spat at him, trying to pull her arm back, but he seemed to be stronger than her in this moment.

Ethan's grip on Izzy just tightened until he was forcefully pushed away from her by Miguel. The two boys looked at each other before Miguel finally spoke up, "Leave her alone." He said calmly.

     Ethan just laughed at him, "Oh, look who it is. Hey, everyone!" Ethan raised his voice loudly, catching everyone's attention and he gestured to Miguel and Izzy. "I just feel like all of you should know that the couple you're going to see fight at the tournament? Yeah, they aren't even a real couple. They were faking it all." Ethan announced and Izzy could hear everyone erupt into whispers and murmurs.

     "Because who would actually love Izzy, right?" Ethan laughed, taking a step toward the girl.

     Robby had stood up, going to insert him into the situation. "Ethan, stop —" He tried to pull the boy back, but Ethan pushed Robby away from him without taking his eyes off of Izzy.

     "I'm serious," Ethan shrugged, "She will do anything to have the attention on her. Cry about her dead dad, cry about her mom abandoning her, cry that she isn't good enough for Cobra Kai. Izzy tries to act tough, right? Well, she's nothing but a slut that won't have anyone truly love her." Ethan announced loud and clear.

     Not even a second after he had finished talking, Miguel sent a hard punch straight to Ethan's jaw, Izzy felt stuck in place as Ethan's words were on repeat in her mind. She felt her chest get tight and her skin grow hot as tears filled her eyes, watching the scene unfold before her.

"Oh, you seriously wanna do this?" Ethan laughed, eyeing Miguel up and down who showed no signs of backing down. Ethan didn't even give Miguel enough time to say anything back before swinging a punch, and Miguel slightly leaned back to easily dodge it.

     The next few attempted hits from Ethan were blocked and a smile appeared on Miguel's face as he looked at the other. "I don't think it'll be much of a fair fight." Miguel admitted, shrugging as he kicked his leg out and got Ethan in the side.

Ethan managed to get Miguel's arm, trying to pull the Diaz boy to the ground, but Miguel had managed to maneuver around his move and reversed the spots. Ethan's back collided with the ground, but he didn't hesitate in getting back up and continuing the fight.

Robby had to go over and get Izzy out of the way who still seemed to be frozen, unable to process everything that was happening because of what Ethan had said to everyone that was now watching the fight. Robby got Izzy out of the way just as Miguel sent Ethan tumbling back, falling back into the chair that Izzy was just sitting in.

"Are you alright?" Robby asked and Izzy had opened her mouth to say something, anything, but she felt at a loss for her words as everything began crashing down in her mind.

Izzy was angry, and she was sad, and she felt like she was spiraling once again. Her heart hurt in so many different ways that Izzy didn't know which emotion was taking control of her, but she did know that this fight was the last thing she wanted to happen tonight. Her night had just gotten good, especially with Miguel, and then Ethan had to ruin it, and then Miguel had to be the fuel to the fire. Miguel's actions did more harm to Izzy's night than good.

Ethan had gotten Miguel stuck in a way that forced him still, his arm twisted behind his back as Ethan spoke rudely. "You think she actually cares about you? She promised our Sensei she wouldn't have anything to do with you after the tournament." Ethan spat at the Diaz boy.

     Miguel let out an angry grunt as he used his strength to send his other arm behind him, his elbow colliding with Ethan's nose. With Ethan taken aback by the action, Miguel turned to land another punch to his abdomen, blocking a kick that Ethan quickly did.

     Izzy took in a deep breath, her hands curling into fists when everything tonight had really set in and she went over to the two boys. She wanted to break Ethan's nose, but when she got over to them, she managed to push Miguel away from Ethan before the boy could continue the fight.

     Miguel was breathing heavily, his curls all over his forehead as his blazer had somehow been taken off in the middle of the fight. He looked angry, the only look in his eyes was one of jealousy and destruction. However, when his eyes met with Izzy's and he saw the tears in her eyes, his face softened and he immediately felt bad for picking a fight against Ethan when Izzy needed him.

     He could see her lip quiver while trying to fight back the tears and Miguel opened his mouth to speak, to say anything to apologize for his actions. "Izzy —"

     Miguel was distracted by Ethan running to throw a hit at Miguel, and the Diaz boy wasn't given enough time to do anything besides grab Izzy and pull her behind him. Except instead of trying to punch or kick Miguel, Ethan tackled him that sent the two boys, as well as Izzy into the pool.

     Izzy felt herself sink to nearly the bottom of the pool and she internally panicked as the girl made her way back up to the surface of the pool. She gasped for air and moved just a little bit to where she could feel her feet touch the ground.

     Her eyes landed on Miguel who came up from the water as well and this was what truly ruined Izzy's night, Miguel knew that much when he saw Izzy's face. She looked like she wanted nothing to do with Miguel, like his actions tonight were enough to confirm that Cobra Kai was right, Miguel was nothing but a distraction that would bring her down.

     "Izzy, I'm so sorry, I was just —"

     She cut Miguel off with a cold stare, "See you at the tournament." That was all she said as Izzy got out of the pool and pushed her way through the crowd, still struggling to hold back the tears.

     Miguel felt his heart sting at the words she had said, knowing the tournament was the next day, and that meant whatever Miguel and Izzy had was going to vanish. He planned it out on the way to the after party: he was going to ask her to go with him to meet his dad, to go with him to Mexico, because he needs her.

     But, as he stayed in the pool, other people jumping into it as well and hollering in excitement, Miguel realized how much he had fucked up in the span of an hour.

And he didn't know if he had time to fix any of it before the All Valley tomorrow.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Izzy had consumed as much alcohol she thought was needed to truly numb her emotions, to make her forget about every single thing that happened tonight, but the alcohol just seemed to do the opposite.

     The moment she got home after walking nearly forty minutes, Izzy changed out of her prom dress and found every alcohol bottle hidden in the kitchen and Kayla's room while she was at work, and then locked herself in the bathroom in her room.

     She had been stuck in there for an hour, crying to herself while a pile of empty alcohol bottles was crowded by the bathtub. Izzy had drunkenly sent voicemails to her sister, saying things such like she misses their dad and even their mom sometimes, and how Izzy felt like the one good thing in her life was finally gone — Miguel.

Her head was buried in her hands as her knees were pulled to her chest, she didn't even notice how her head hurt from how much she had cried, because the alcohol distracted her thoughts to things that Izzy wanted to forget.

It made her want to throw up, having to relive the night when she answered the door to some cops telling her her dad died, and the night Izzy was almost hit with a flying tequila bottle by her drunk mother, and the night her mom walked out and never came back.

Then her mind shifted to all of the feelings she has for Miguel, every single one that she wanted to bury and forget about had flooded her mind. She needed to forget about him, after what happened tonight, Izzy realized that Cobra Kai was her future. She should have never fallen in love with Miguel, because the moment she did, everything she had ever known came crashing down.

Izzy's head lifted, her eyes searching for any more alcohol that she could consume to make her forget about it all, but all of the bottles were empty. She felt get angry, angry at herself for so many things as she stared at the pile of empty bottles. Izzy's chest got tight and her hands curled into fists.

     A frustrated grunt left her lips as she leaned forward and smashed her fist into the bottles and let out a painful gasp as multiple bottles shattered from her force. Blood began coming from her knuckles and the pain was enough to bring tears to her eyes, immediately pouring down her cheeks. A quiet, broken 'fuck' came from her mouth as she held her wrist.

     Izzy tried to catch her breath and control her sobs, leaning her head against the wall she leaned back on. She was caught off by a knock on the bathroom and Izzy stayed quiet, waiting to see whoever was on the other side of the door.

     "Hey, Iz?" It was Nina, but Izzy let out a sigh, closing her eyes.

     Izzy's voice sounded weak as she called out, "Go away. Please." She was tired from crying and Nina could tell from the other side of the door.

"Come on, Iz. Open the door." Nina seemed scared, trying to turn the handle of the bathroom but Izzy had it locked.

An annoyed sigh left Izzy's lips. "I want to be alone. Please go." She spoke, wincing as Izzy tried to move her fingers because of the cuts all over her knuckles.

Izzy heard Nina go quiet and Izzy assumed she had finally left, accepting the fact that the Vera girl wanted to be alone and drown in her own emotions.

"Izzy?" This time it was Miguel's voice.

She felt her heart stop for a second, lifting her head from the wall and Izzy didn't say a thing, unsure if it was actually Miguel's voice or if she was just making it up.

"Izzy, can I come in?" Miguel asked and Izzy took in a deep breath, hesitating at first but slowly reaching over to turn the lock.

The door then opened and Izzy looked up, seeing Miguel come in and he looked just as heartbroken, like he just cried just as much as Izzy did. He looked down at the tear-stained cheeks of Izzy and then he noticed her bloodied hand, his eyes shifting to the bottles of alcohol and shattered ones.

"Hey Izzy," He smiled at the girl and crouched down beside her, "What happened?" He asked softly, taking her wrist into his hand. Izzy could see the tears in his eyes, his other hand coming up to cup her face and rub his thumb against her cheek.

"I'm so sorry, Miguel," Izzy shook her head, "I'm really sorry." She continued to apologize.

Miguel wasn't too sure what she was apologizing for, so he muttered out various 'it's okay''s as he helped her up from the floor. Her body felt weak and Miguel led her to the sink where he turned the cold water on, helping Izzy run her knuckles under it.

He was gentle with her and Izzy was quiet the entire time from cleaning her hand to Miguel helping her to her bed. Nina was waiting outside the closed door, knowing that Miguel was Izzy's weakness no matter how hard Izzy denied it, so she brought Miguel in hopes he would get through to Izzy.

Miguel sat Izzy on the bed, standing up and letting out a shaky breath. Izzy looked up at him, her eyes meeting with his. "It wasn't true. What Ethan said, none of it was true." Izzy muttered.

     "I never promised Silver that. I–I care about you a lot, it scares me. I broke our promise," Izzy admitted to him and Miguel looked at her with teary eyes as he heard her speak, "I like you, so much, and it really fucking scares me." Izzy's voice cracked.

     "Hey, hey, it's okay," Miguel whispered to her, taking a seat on her bed next to her. "I.. I broke our promise first." He told her, his hands coming up to cup the sides of her face.

"You did?" Izzy asked quietly, her eyes set on Miguel's.

Miguel smiled, nodding as a few tears rolled down his cheeks. "Yeah, I–I did." He admitted, running his hand through her hair.

Izzy let out a shaky breath, "I don't want to end things tomorrow. I want to be with you, but if I.. if I am with you, I can't be in Cobra Kai anymore and if I stay in Cobra Kai, I can't be with you." Izzy explained, wanting to cry but couldn't seem to get any more tears out.

He frowned at her words, shaking his head like he was trying to reassure her that nothing would happen. "It'll be okay, Izzy, I.. we'll talk about everything tomorrow, okay? You need to get some rest." Miguel whispered to her, pulling her covers back and helping her underneath them.

     Miguel had her hand that was hurt in his own, rubbing his thumb across the back of her hand. He didn't want to leave her yet, so he sat on the edge of her bed, his eyes on her as Izzy rested her head on the pillow and stared up at the boy. Her eyes shifted down to their hands and a soft smile tugged at the corner of her lips before looking back up at Miguel.

When her eyes met with his eyes again, Miguel smiled, but then Izzy spoke up. "Can you stay? Just for a little bit." She asked quietly.

Miguel let out a sigh, nodding his head. "I'll stay as long as you need me to." He told her in a hushed tone, keeping her hand in his.

"Good," Izzy smiled, closing her eyes when she felt grow tired, "I'm still kicking your ass tomorrow." She spoke up.

Miguel let out a laugh, smiling at her words. There she was, the Izzy that Miguel knew and fell for. He looked down at their hands and he didn't let go of hers.

"I know you will." Miguel spoke, his voice was soft and quiet, thinking about all of the different ways tomorrow could go.

     And what hurt Miguel the most was knowing no matter what way, he was still going to leave.

▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄

authors note.
one more chapter left until season 5!! i'm literally so excited to write it and you guys will either love me or hate me for what i do to mizzy but that's okay

also what songs remind you guys of miguel and izzy?? i want to make a playlist for this fic

( gif made by saevrz )