11 years ago

Prithvi, 24, came down the stairs to find his father Amit sitting almost lifelessly in the rocking chair. He had a glass of whiskey in his hand and was taking slow sips every now and then. Prithvi hesitated approaching his father. An otherwise vibrant man, Amit was dressed in a white kurta and pajama, a perfect widower's outfit. A part of Prithvi ached; Amit hadn't shown much remorse on the death of his first wife, with whom he had had two sons- Prithvi and Akash. An inexplicable resentment filled him. He did not know that he was capable of such resentment, but again, humans don't know the extent or limits of their emotions or actions until they face circumstances that push them to experience those.

His father's defeated look made Prithvi feel elated. It was healing a part of him. Amit's decisions had caused a rift between him and his sons- a rift neither of the parties were willing to address. They carried on with their pretense of a happy family, while remaining dissatisfied at their core.

Nevertheless, Prithvi decided to bring Amit out of his reverie. "Papa" he said, climbing down the stairs and stopping in front of the rocking chair. "Papa?" Prithvi shook Amit's shoulders.

Amit came out of his thoughts with a jerk. "Huh? Oh, Prithvi. It's you." Amit adjusted himself on the chair and gulped some more whiskey. "What's the matter?"

"It's been ten days. We need to call Akash back." Prithvi said.

"Didn't you get a posting notice? You should leave."

"But Papa..."

Amit cut him off. "This is not the time to argue. You need to leave. I'll take care of things here. I'll call him back."

Prithvi shook his head indignantly. "I need to..."

Amit placed his glass on the small table next to the chair. He stood up with some difficultly. 

Prithvi observed his father. He appeared visibly aged in a span of ten days. He felt pity, perhaps even some remorse, but he shook those feelings aside.

Amit placed his hand on Prithvi's shoulder. "Do you know where he is?

Prithvi shook his head. "No." He gulped. "But I know he will call. He will. I am a police officer after all. I can find him."

Amit shook his head fervently. "You won't do that. Finding Akash cannot be your first assignment. He anyways has many people behind him." Amit sighed. "He'll call, right? I'll call him back then. I will."

Prithvi reluctantly nodded. "Do we just wait till then?"

Amit lost his cool. "What's the matter with you, Prithvi? I do not have to explain the reasons you should not be looking for him right now. You know what your attempts or even your so-called discovery of Akash would lead to."

Prithvi stared at his feet, trying to form thoughts. "I can't abandon Akash. He is just a kid."

"Kid?" Amit snorted. "You might have wanted to consider that before sending him away." He exhales. "You should head out tomorrow. You have been posted and getting there late would leave a bad impression. Don't try looking for Akash, just focus on your job. You didn't become a police officer just to get embroiled in all of this. Okay? Your train ticket is by the telephone. Take it."

Prithvi could think of nothing. He had run out of arguments- logical or illogical. He cursed himself for sending away Akash. He should have thought better. But there was no time to think when the events transpired, leave alone thinking saliently. "Okay. I'll leave." Just as he turned, Amit held him by the arm.

"Give me your phone, Prithvi." Amit said.

Prithvi took out his phone from his pocket and handed it to Amit. Amit switched it off and slid it inside his pocket.

"Papa!" Prithvi exclaimed.

"You'll have a new phone and new number from now. It's by the telephone too. Take it."

"Akash might call me. I need the phone. Give it to me." Prithvi went to Amit and tried taking it out of his pocket.

Amit did not hesitate before slapping Prithvi across the cheek. "You are not going to contact Akash. That, is final."

Prithvi remained fixed in his spot, infuriated, as Amit made way for his bedroom. In that moment, Prithvi thought that Amit deserved all the loneliness in the world.

***

Prithvi is in one of the rooms, leaning on the armchair with his eyes shut. Fatigue is evident on his expression and the general mood in the room. The heater makes an erratic sound every now and then, but that doesn't bother Prithvi half as much as his state of mind does.

"How did Akash change so much? How did I change so much?" he mutters to himself.

His bags are in the space between the armchairs --which are to the left of the door-- and the door itself. There is a knock at the door. Prithvi gets up from the chair. Akash enters the room.

"What do you want to have for lunch?" Akash asks.

Prithvi beams. "The usual. You know it."

Akash nods and leaves. Once he is gone, Prithvi settles himself into the armchair again. "There's still some hope." he says, smiling.

***

It is nighttime. Akash steps out of the house, zipping up his jacket. He takes out his gloves from his pockets and wears them. He stands where he is for the moment, taking in the scene before him. It is snowing as usual, but the sky still appears clears. The snowflakes give the apparition of being stars shooting down. He has no time to admire the ethereal scene before him. He heads towards the storeroom, with the snow under his feet making a crunching sound. A gush of wind makes Akash shiver. If not for the lights on the fence, the house would be as dark as its surroundings, engulfed in a blackness which renders everything invisible.

Akash unlocks the storeroom and steps inside. He switches on the light, allowing the door to shut behind him. He stands and stares at the axes on the wall. A tear trickles down his eye, but he wipes it away and purses his lips. His hand shivers a bit, causing him to ball his fist. He goes ahead, picks up a shovel, grabs it tightly, and makes his way out. As soon as he opens the door, he finds Prithvi standing in front of him.

Prithvi smirks, knowing fully well that each smile of his irks Akash. He spots the shovel in Akash's hand. "Give it to me. I'll help you out."

"No need. I can manage it by myself." Akash replies. He realizes that his tone has been nothing but absolutely rude.

Prithvi, however, does not seem to mind it. He does not expect gentility or civility from his brother. Knowing Akash fully well, he knows that a delay of all these years has ingrained in his brother a belief of him having been discarded. Neglected. Abandoned. He snatches the shovel from Akash and begins shoveling the path.

Akash sighs. He enters the storeroom again and emerges with another shovel. He takes a part of the yard which helps him remain away from Prithvi. Prithvi realizes this and maintains silence.

Theysilently work to clear the path from the gate to the house. Akash's strokes arefirm and powerful. He accomplishes his task with agility. Prithvi's strokes areweak. Prithvi tires himself out soon enough. He goes and leans against the storeroom, right next to the door. He plants the shovel in the snow and puts his hands on the handle.

"How long has it been since you last did this?" Akash asks, a smile forming on his lips.

"I don't know. Must be a long time ago. My skills have gotten rusty, right?"

"I could gauge that from the way you held it. You were preparing to tire out yourself."

Prithvi scoffs. "I used to be better at this. Remember?"

Akash's shovel stops for a moment. He picks it up quickly nevertheless and continues his work. He keeps his back towards Prithvi. "You cannot compare then and now. The situations and the people in those situations are very different. People change every minute, and here, we aren't even talking about days; we are talking about years. You did a lot in all these years. And me? I must have been doing this all the time."

Prithvi catches the resentment and bitterness in Akash's voice. Akash, right now, sounds much like Prithvi once sounded when speaking to Amit. Life comes a full circle. Always. Now knowing what to say, but knowing fully well that he won't be able to shovel anymore, Prithvi decides to keep the shovel back in place. He places his hand on the doorknob, and the door gives away. He steps inside. Once inside, he scans the storeroom- the logs of wood, the shovels, the axes. His eyes stop at the leftmost axe, and then flicker. Suddenly, he finds the world around him spinning. He gulps hard, trying to maintain his balance and sanity. He stumbles backwards, only to be held by Akash, who's now standing behind him and staring at him angrily. Prithvi turns to face Akash, and for the first time, feels like an intruder in a story he has always been a part of. Or so had he always assumed.

Prithvi gaze continues shifting between Akash and the axe on the wall. Unable to wait any longer, Akash snatches the shovel from Prithvi's hand, places it against the wall along with his own and begins pushing Prithvi out of the storeroom. It takes some time and effort owing to Prithvi's resistance, but Akash finally succeeds. He locks the door as soon as they are out.

Prithvi finally manages to speak. "What was that?" He reaches for the door again, but is stopped by Akash.

"Nothing. It's late. Just sleep." Akash sternly replies. He puts his hands in his pockets and returns to the house, walking through the half-shoveled path.

Akash slams the door behind him once he is inside. After a while, Prithvi follows.

***

11 years ago

Akash was shaking from head to toe. A sense of urgency was evident on his face, and so was confusion. He stood there as a person who had to do something but could do nothing. He looked at the suitcase on the bed. It was locked. He opened his cupboard and took out a backpack. A keychain hung from it, reflecting the faint sunlight that was entering the room through the window.

He looked for something inside the backpack which he found after some struggle- the key to the suitcase. He tried inserting the key in the keyhole, but it dropped to the floor. With shaky hands, he picked it up again and tried. Finally, he opened the lock. He unzipped the suitcase and looked at all of his clothes lying in it. Neatly packed.

Prithvi entered the room, dressed in a police uniform. His cap was the only thing missing.

Akash turned back and gasped in horror. His efforts at calming himself down went in vain. He knew Prithvi would help. But how, he knew not. He looked at the sack in Prithvi's hand.

The sack still in his hand, Prithvi started removing some clothes from Akash's suitcase. Akash looked at him, perplexed. Once enough clothes were out, Prithvi placed the sack in the suitcase and looked around.

"What's in the sack?" Akash inquired.

"Not now. Let me think." Prithvi said, dismissing the question.

Akash picked up the sack nonetheless. He peeked into it and saw the handle of the axe. "Why...?" Akash stammered. He staggered backwards, and stumbled against Prithvi.

Prithvi, who was already scanning Akash's open cupboard turned to look at him with annoyance. He shook his head at Akash, who was pointing his finger at the bag. He grabbed a few plastic bags from the cupboard and placed them under and over the sack. He filled the bag with clothes which he had taken out earlier and turned to Akash.

Akash was glued in his spot, terrified. He would not budge. Prithvi called out his names, but to no avail. To Akash, everything was static. He could not decipher Prithvi's words. He was brought back to his senses only when Prithvi grabbed him by his shoulders and shook him fervently.

"Akash!" Prithvi yelled.

"Huh?" Akash said, finally registering his surroundings.

"Hear me out. You'll have to leave this place for now. That's the only solution. I will call you back once things have settled. Are you listening to me?" Prithvi grabbed Akash's face, making him look straight into his own eyes. "If you stay here, it's going to be dangerous for you. For us. This is my only way to save you. Do you get me? Just lie low for a while. I'll make up a story. Something. Anything. I'll handle things here. So you, leave. Now."

Akash's eyes flickered. He looked at Prithvi with uncertainty and then looked at the suitcase.

Prithvi glanced at the suitcase. "We can't keep that here. No way. Take it with you and discard it somewhere. A river perhaps. Dispose it off at the first opportunity." Prithvi received no response. "Akash, we need to place more clothes on that. Do you hear me? We don't have the time. Please. Be quick."

Akash licked his lips. "What are we planning to do? You? Me? What will you do here? What is your plan?"

Prithvi shook his head. "I don't know. But I'll come up with something. Trust me." Prithvi paused and embraced Akash. "Everyone makes mistakes. So did we. It's fine. That's how you learn, right?"

Prithvi let go of Akash, who remained transfixed in his spot. Akash slowly moved and removed some more clothes from his cupboard. He began arranging them on the sack mindlessly. His hands worked mechanically for he know not what he was doing, or being made to do. Following Prithvi's instructions was the only thing he could do now. Unquestioningly.

Prithvi spotted Akash's backpack lying on the floor. He picked it up and it turned out to be heavier than anticipated. He opened the chain to find some of Akash's course books in it. He was about to remove them, but then decided against it. The last thing he wanted was to make Akash's presence known here. He stepped out of the room with the backpack slinging over his shoulder.

Akash filled the suitcase to its brim. With great difficulty, he managed zipping it up. He placed his suitcase on the floor and exited the room. He paused at the door for a moment and cast a final, longing glance at the room. He shut the door behind him. As he turned, the room at the opposite end of the landing caught his eye. A chill ran down his spine. The room was shut, and there was some assurance in it.

Finally, with a heavy heart, and a heavier suitcase, Akash descended the stairs.