"What you guys don't understand is, for us, kissing is as important as any part of it." Monica said as they were all sitting in the coffee house. Monica and Chandler were sitting on the couch, Ross and Ella were on the arm rests, Joey was sitting on the arm chair, Jake was on one of the arm rests, Phoebe sitting opposite him on the floor by the coffee table and Rachel was on a stool she pulled up by the couch.

"Yeah, right! ...Y'serious?" Joey asked.

"Everything you need to know is in that first kiss." Rachel told him with a serious expression.

"Absolutely." Monica nodded.

"One hundred percent." Ella told them.

"You see, I'm still a kissing virgin, so I wouldn't know what the first kiss is like for either perspectives." Jake shrugged.

"Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, y'know? I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out," Chandler told the girls.

"Yeah, and-and it's not that we don't like the comedian, it's that-that... that's not why we bought the ticket," Ross continued.

"The problem is, though, after the concert's over, no matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian again, y'know? I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic... basically just trying to stay awake," Chandler elaborated as they all nodded along.

"Yeah, well, word of advice: Bring back the comedian. Otherwise next time you're gonna find yourself sitting at home, listening to that album alone," Rachel said as they all laughed.

"....Are we still talking about sex?" Joey asked after while as Ella facepalmed.

***

The next day, Ella and Jake were sitting on the bleachers at school during lunch as they watched the football players practice.

"The Guidance Counsellor called me to their office today." Jake told her as he fiddled with his fingers.

"What did she want?" Ella asked, turning so that she could focus on him fully, one of the things he loved about her, she'll always be there for you no matter what she's doing.

"Well, you know how my grades have been slipping?" The dark haired boy started cautiously, "Well, it's - it's because I have dyslexia." He said all in one breath and watched as she smiled her kind smile and took his hands in hers - his heart beat speeding up.

"And why were you afraid to tell me?" She asked knowingly.

"Yeah, I mean, why would you want to hang out with me anyway, and now this! I'm weird enough as it is, I'm surprised you're still sitting here to be honest." Jake said, taking a sudden interest in his feet.

"Jake," Ella sighed, moving closer to him as he did his best not to blush, "You have always been weird. But you are no different," She said, looking at him square in the eye and he knew she was telling the truth, "Now, what did you get in your project?"

"B+"

"Hey, not bad!"

***

School was over and Ella, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe and Jake were watching Three's Company in Monica, Ella and Rachel's apartment whilst Monica was running round and organizing like a madwoman.

"Oh, I think this is the episode of Three's Company where there's some kind of misunderstanding." Chandler said as they all stared at the TV screen.

"Then I've already seen this one!" Phoebe and Ella exclaimed and the eldest Buffay turned off the TV.

"Are you through with that?" Monica asked Joey as she snatched a drink out of Joey's hand.

"Yeah, sorry, the swallowing slowed me down," Joey sarcastically told her.

"Whose little ball of paper is this?!" She exclaimed as she pointed at the said object on the corner of the coffee table.

"Oh, uh, that would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself, and then I realised I didn't need it, so I balled it up and..." Chandler stopped as he gave her 'The Look' "...now I wish I was dead,"

They all watched as Monica starts to fluff a pillow. Again.

"She's already fluffed that pillow... Monica, you know, you've already fluffed that-" Phoebe started to tell her but also stopped once receiving 'The Look' "-But, it's fine!"

"Look , I'm sorry, guys, I just don't wanna give them any more ammunition than they already have," Monica replied, referring to the Geller parents who were coming for dinner later.

"Yes, and we all know how cruel a parent can be about the flatness of a child's pillow," Chandler sarcastically said.

"He has met your parents right?" Ella asked Jake and he nodded.

"Monica- Hi! Um, Monica, you're scaring me. I mean, you're like, you're like all chaotic and twirly. And not-not in a good way," Phoebe nervously told her.

"Yeah, calm down. You don't see Ross and Jake getting all chaotic and twirly every time they come," Joey pointed out.

The Ross part was true, the bit about Jake, not so much.

"That's because as far as my parents are concerned, Ross can do no wrong. Y'see, he's the Prince. Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born," Monica told him.

"Yeah, and I've just given up on trying to please them," Jake shrugged as Ella rubbed his knee in a way of comforting him.

"Ew, ew, ew, ew ew ew ew ew!" Chandler cried looking out the window.

"What?" Monica asked, slightly concerned.

"Ugly Naked Guy got a Thighmaster!" Chandler exclaimed.

"Eeaagh!" They all cried in disgust.

"Has anybody seen my engagement ring?" A distressed Rachel asked as she came out of her room.

"Yeah, it's beautiful," Phoebe said, obviously not catching on to what the brunette was saying.

"Oh God, oh God, oh God oh God oh God oh God...." Rachel muttered, starting to freak out as she looked under the just fluffed cushion.

"No, look, don't touch that!" Phoebe exclaimed.

"Oh, you are dead." Ella told the brunette woman.

"Oh, like I wasn't dreading tomorrow enough, having to give it back to him... 'Hi Barry! Remember me? I'm the girl in the veil who stomped on your heart in front of your entire family!' Oh God and now I'm gonna have to return the ring, without the ring, which makes it so much harder..." Rachel panicked.

"Easy Rach, we'll find it," Monica reassured and turned to the group and gave them a pointed look, "Won't we!"

"Oh! Yeah!" Joey and Chandler said.

"Alright, when'd'ya have it on last?" Joey asked the distressed brunette.

"Doy! Probably right before she lost it!" Phoebe said, not helping at all.

"You don't get a lot of 'doy' these days..." Chandler trailed off.

"I know I had it this morning, and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with...,"

"...Dinah?" Chandler attempted to finish for her.

"Ohhhhh, don't be mad..." Rachel said to Monica as she looked at the lasagna on the counter.

"You didn't," Monica gasped.

"Oh, I am sorry..."

"I gave you one job!" Monica exclaimed as she started to examine the lasagne through the bottom of the glass pan.

"Oh, but look how straight those noodles are!" Rachel tried as Jake rubbed her shoulder reassuringly.

"They are very straight." The boy nodded.

"Now, Monica, you know that's not how you look for an engagement ring in a lasagne..." Chandler told Monica as she put down the lasagne.

"I just... can't do it," She sighed.

"Boys? We're going in," Chandler said as Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, Ella and Jake started to pick through the lasagne as there was a knock on the door, which Monica answered to see a dishevelled looking Ross.

".....Hi," He said in a depressed tone.

"Wow. That is not a happy hi," Monica noted.

"Carol's pregnant," Ross said making everyone but Ella and Phoebe, as Phoebe pulled the ring out of the food.

"Ooh! I found it!"

"Yay!"

"W-w-wh-... wha-... w-w-w-..." Monica and Jake said.

"Yeah. Do that for another two hours, you might be where I am right about now," Ross said as he entered the apartment.

"Kinda puts that whole pillow thing in perspective, huh, Mon?" Chandler asked.

"Well now, how-how do you fit into this whole thing?" Rachel asked, obviously choosing the top priority question they were wondering.

"Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved, but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved.. basically it's entirely up to me," Ross explained.

"She is so great!" Phoebe said.

"Yeah, I miss her," Ella agreed.

"What does she mean by 'involved'?" Monica asked.

"I mean presumably, the biggest part of your job is done," Chandler commented, also not helping.

"Anyway, they want me to go down to this- sonogram thing with them tomorrow," Ross said.

"So what are you gonna do?" Rachel asked him.

"I have no idea. No matter what I do, though, I'm still gonna be a father," He told them.

Their conversation was interrupted as Joey startrd to eat the rest of the lasagne and everyone turned and stared at him, ".....Well, this is still ruined, right?"

***

The Geller siblings had twenty minutes before their parents arrived and Ella and Jake were in his, Joey and Chandler's living room, as the boy tried to tie his tie but ended up failing miserably, causing the blonde next to him to chuckle as she moved to be in front of him and tied it for him.

"You know, Monica said you could come tonight, you know, for support," Jake told her as she tightened it and looked up at him, fixing his collar.

"I wouldn't want to intrude," She told him.

"Are you sure? Cause Monica said -"

"I'm sure Jake," Ella said, taking Jake's face in her hands, "You'll be fine,"

***

Jake, Monica and Ross were in Monica's apartment pouring wine for their parents, trying to get through the night.

"Oh, Martha Ludwin's daughter is gonna call you," Judy told Monica as she tasted a snack, "Mmm! What's that curry taste?" She asked.

"Curry," Monica answered.

"Mmmm!"

"I- I think they're great! I, I really do," Ross told his parents.

"Do you remember the Ludwins? The big one had a thing for you, didn't she?" Jack asked Ross, it was almost as if his sister and brother weren't even there.

"They all had a thing for him," Mom countered.

"Aw, Mom..."

"I'm sorry, why is this girl going to call me?" Monica asked.

"Oh, she just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking, or food, or.... I don't know. Anyway, I told her you had a restaurant-," Judy said but was cut off by Monica.

"No Mom, I don't have a restaurant, I work in a restaurant," She told her.

"Well, they don't have to know that..." Judy said as she started to fluff the same pillow Monica fluffed multiple times earlier.

"Ross, Jake, could you come and help me with the spaghetti, please?" Monica asked her brothers.

"Yeah," They said and went into the kitchen.

"Oh, we're having spaghetti! That's.... easy," Judy said with obvious disdain in her voice.

"I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish, but, were you planning on bringing up the whole baby/lesbian thing? Because I think it might take some of the heat off us," Monica told Ross, gesturing between her and Jake.

"Yeah, I mean they haven't even said a word to me and they got here an hour ago!" Jake told his brother.

***

Everyone was now eating and listening to Judy ramble on about Rachel.

"What that Rachel did to her life.... We ran into her parents at the club, they were not playing very well,"

"I'm not gonna tell you what they spent on that wedding... but forty thousand dollars is a lot of money!" Jack cried.

"Well, at least she had the chance to leave a man at the altar..." Judy said looking at Monica.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing! It's an expression," The elder woman tried to cover up lamely.

"No it's not," Monica said.

"Don't listen to your mother. You're independent, and you always have been! Even when you were a kid... and you were chubby, and you had no friends, you were just fine! And you would read alone in your room, and your puzzles..." Jack trailed off.

"So, Jakey," Judy said turning to her son, "How's that friend of yours, Edna?"

"Ella," Jake corrected his mother.

"Oh? Really? Well, how's school going, what is it you're taking again," She asked.

"Um, yeah, school's great and, um, I'm taking Art and Photography," Jake replied.

"Oh, Art," Judy said.

"Oh Photography," Jack said as Monica put some more spaghetti on Jakes plate.

"Let me at the wine." He told her.

***

"Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum, and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are- I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer," Jack said as they were clearing up dinner.

***

"...And I read about these women trying to have it all, and I thank God 'Our Little Harmonica' doesn't seem to have that problem," Judy said half way through dessert.

Desperately trying to change the subject, Monica turned to her older brother, "So, Ross, what's going on with you? Any stories?" She asked as she and Jake dug their elbows into his hands.

"No news, no little anecdotes to share with the folks?" Jake asked him.

Ross pulled his hands free and held them up in surrender, "Okay! Okay," He said turning to Judy and Jack, "Look, I, uh- I realise you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here's the deal. Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby," He said leaving them in stunned silence.

Judy then turned to Monica and Jake, "And you two knew about this?!"

***

"Your folks are really that bad, huh?" Joey asked the Gellers as Ella placed a cookie in front of Jake as they sat in Central Perk and she was on shift, then massaging the boy's shoulders.

Ross sighed, "Well, y'know, these people are pros. They know what they're doing, they take their time, they get the job done,"

"Boy, I know they say you can't change your parents,... boy, if you could-" Monica said looking at Ross, "-I'd want yours.

"Must pee," Ross said as he got up to go to the bathroom.

"Y'know, it's even worse when you're twins," Phoebe told them.

"You're twins?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah. We don't speak. She's like this high-powered, driven career type," Phoebe said.

"What does she do?" Chandler asked looking at the two Buffays.

"She's a waitress," Ella told them.

"All right, you guys, I kinda gotta clean up now. Here Ella, give me your apron I'll do it myself,"

"Thanks,"

"Chandler, you're an only child, right? You don't have any of this," Monica asked.

"Well, no, although I did have an imaginary friend, who... my parents actually preferred," Chandler said.

"The lights, please.." Rachel said ending their conversation as Joey turned the lights off and they all left.

***

The next day, the friends were in the girls' apartment watching the ultrasound of Ross' kid whilst Rachel was on the phone.

"Well? Isn't that amazing?" Ross asked them.

"It's beautiful Ross," Ella told him, "You're gonna be one hell of a father,"

"What are we supposed to be seeing here?" Joey asked.

"I dunno, but.. I think it's about to attack the Enterprise," Chandler muttered.

"You know, if you tilt your head to the left, and relax your eyes, it kinda looks like an old potato," Phoebe said.

Ella and Jake did just so, "Oh yeah."

"Then don't do that, alright?" Ross told her.

"Okay!"

Ross walked over to where Monica was standing, "Monica. Whaddya think?" He asked her.

"Mm-hmm,"

"Wh- are you welling up?" Ross asked his little sister.

"No,"

"You are, you're welling up,"

"Am not!"

"You're gonna be an aunt," Ross told her and Monica pushed him and started to cry.

"Oh shut up!"

"I'm gonna be an uncle," Jake muttered to Ella.

"I know, and you're going to be great,"

Jake smiled as they all turned their heads and listened to Rachel talk on the phone.

"Hi, Mindy. Hi, it-it's Rachel. Yeah, I'm fine. I-I saw Barry today. Oh, yeah, yeah he-he told me. No, no, it's okay. I hope you two are very happy, I really do. Oh, oh, and Mind, y'know, if-if everything works out, and you guys end up getting married and having kids- and everything- I just hope they have his old hairline and your old nose," She slammed down the phone and turned to face the group, "Okay, I know it was a cheap shot, but I feel so much better now,"