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Sadly, the frogs in my
life just don't want to evolve
~Ajay
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~𝙰𝚓𝚊𝚢~

It was my twenty fifth birthday party and I was very excited.

Like who wouldn't?

Right from the very first minute of the day, I was showered with love, both the fake and flawless ones. Nevertheless, I welcomed all of them without fear or trembling.

Pun intended.

The party was lit as fuck. I couldn't deny the fact that the wedding planner, Adeola, did a marvelous job. I felt like a queen right from when I was told to dance into the hall with a lot of friends coming to drop wads of cash on the floor. I was enjoying myself, well until I saw him walking towards the stage, with the same breathtaking smile on his face after admitting to be one of my secret admirers. My jaw clenched and my breathing became0p haggard. If I was a cartoon character, this is the point where smoke will erupt from my ears due to my red face.

I was mad angry and I couldn't stop myself from doing what I did next.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT BASTARD DOING HERE!" I screamed my lungs out angrily, standing up with one of my hands forming a fist and the other pointing at my ex, Obinna. But he looked totally unfazed, as he kept walking towards my table, as if he was expecting the whole reaction.

Zara held one of my hands, caressing it softly and in a way trying to calm me down. But seeing him only brought back painful memories and my heart was definitely not prepared for that kind of pain. I had already tried my best to make myself happy as it was my birthday but my village people were out in mass once again to destroy my happiness.

The crowd was already in a murmuring mess. Well, practically everyone knew about I and Obinna's relationship except the married to my cousin part. Like it was a public proposal. Obviously, it made the news headlines and at that point I hated that one fact.

"Hey beautiful," He winked, before leaning in and planting a chaste peck on my right cheek.

The audacity was appalling!

The next thing that was flying in the air was my right hand. It landed violently on Obinna's left cheek with a whack. His head turned abruptly to the direction of the slap due to the force with which my hand landed on his face. He winced at the impact, using his left hand to nurse his slap-stained cheek.

"Obinna, leave this place this fucking minute. Leave!" I screamed as I bursted into tears. My knees became weak as I held my chair for support. The invited media and some aproko ushers were just taking photos and videos of the entire scene. There was so much flashlights than I could hold up with. My limbs began to tremble. My throat felt dry and I could feel my chest constricting.

It was happening again. I tried sucking in more breath to no avail. Zara's name was all I could faintly hear myself call out to. I felt someone pick me up from my seat bridal style but I didn't get to access his face before my eyelids firmly joined together.

.....

I slowly opened my eyes due to the noise coming from downstairs. I could hear three people's voices; Zara's, Oga Fejiro's and another familiar voice I couldn't really place. I looked around to note my current location. I heaved a sigh of relief when I noticed I was in my room, on my bed. I groaned as flashback of the events of the day came running back to my memory.

Like it was supposed to be my birthday. Why did Obinna just allow the devil to use him to destroy my well planned party? I thought

Using my hands, I tapped around the bed and on the bed in search of my phone. I needed to, at least, know how long I was lying in bed. I raised my pillows properly when I didn't feel anything like my phone under it and to my utmost disappointment, it wasn't there. Sighing, I sluggishly stood up and made my way to the living room where all the chattering was coming from.

"A..aunty.." Fejiro called out when he finally noticed my presence in the living room. This got the heads of Zara and, wait!

"Ken?" I called out in surprise.

"Surprise!" Zara exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear.

This girl!

"So this is the surprise you were yapping about?" I asked Zara with a raised eyebrow.

"As if you're not surprised."

"Well..... Maybe, just a little." Turning to Ken "Ken so you didn't see me, okwa ya?"

"Amara no vex, these headlines have been cracking me up since eight." Ken replied laughing

I walked briskly and sat beside Ken, who was seated beside Zara, "Ngwa, show me. To laugh is seriously hungering me." I said, stretching my neck to take a peek at the so called headline on his phone. Zara suddenly grabbed the phone, glaring at Ken.

"Omogei, shey you don't want to have sense?"

"But you said..."

"I didn't say anything o. Don't come and start using my name to lie."

"Ah han, what's doing you now Zara?" I whined, "He was trying to show me something."

"Ajay baby, see, don't mind this mumu boy. There's nothing funny about those headlines." Zara smiled, using her eyes to glare at Ken at the same time.

"Biko where's my phone?" I was not ready to argue with Zara at all.

"I..I..I plug am fo..for your room. The battery die." Fejiro answered immediately. That was when I remembered he was actually present in my living room.

Poor thing! He must have been feeling left out.

"Ohhh... Thank you." I replied.

Meanwhile, Zara and Ken just kept bickering, arguing over what no one had any idea of. After few moments of argument, Ken was able to retrieve his phone from Zara. He unlocked it, took another peak and burst into another fit of laughter. The way he laughed loudly almost made me laugh too but Zara on her own part wasn't having any of it.

"Omogei, shut up naw. What's your own sef?" Zara asked, irritated

"Zara biko free me. Sheyyyy I told you not to call me that name again." Turning to me, " Ajay you need to see this abeg. I can't hold it in anymore." He stretched his phone to me even against Zara's glaring gazes. He scrolled up his Instagram news feed and showed me a post from @yabaleftonline. It was a thread.

"Summary of the clash between Ajay and Popular actor, Obinna Chukwuemeka." Ken read out from the first thread, laughing. I adjusted myself on my seat so I could get a better view of the thread on his phone.

The second thread was a short clip of the moment where Obinna left an irritating peck on my cheek and I responded with a slap. Ken read the caption out loud still laughing.

"As we all know, famous vlogger Ajay Okpara's birthday bash was today and Obinna Chukwuemeka wanted to form man of the year. He indicated to be one of her numerous admirers. We thought all was well because of the once trending video of Obinna's public proposal to Ajay. As a result of the excess hailing from the crowd, baba went on to kiss Ajay. Awon best toaster of the year. He was awarded with a well deserving slap."

Zara laughed, "God bless that person that added that 'well deserving' to the slap! Ahhh I wish it was double backhand Ajay gave that bastard." I couldn't help but giggled

"Calm down na, e never finish." Ken whined, earger to continue reading the thread. "Oya hear this one." A popular meme video singing 'why are you running' played and Ken went on to read the caption. "Obinna Chukwuemeka when ever he sees Ajay from now henceforth."

"Omo.. Obinna own don cast." Zara commented laughing before reading a news headline that popped up on her notification screen by Phoenix browser, "Kisses for hits: billionaire vlogger slaps boyfriend for cheating on her with his mistress. Ah ahnnn this phoenix people can lie sha. Where did they hear the mistress part from now?"

"Well, they are not totally lying." I shrugged.

"A..Aunty Zara, we.. never do the..the fi.final celebration o. It's almost night sef," Fejiro interrupted.

"Ahh.. it's true! Since someone destroyed your big party, we made plans for a small one." Zara stood up and headed to the dining to get my birthday cake that was yet to be cut "You know me na. Hashtag, A party must be held."

I laughed and shook my head. What else was I even expecting from this my so called best friend?

With Zara, Fejiro and Ken's help, my sitting room was switched from a regular to a party theme in a matter of minutes. I was surprised that they could come up with so much in such a short space of time. I was really happy.

Ken acted as the DJ. He connected his Samsung S50 to my home theater and I was shocked that he could have such an extensive playlist on his phone being the kind of boring person I saw him as. We chatted for a while before we began with very hilarious party games which included the legendary dancing competition between Ken and Fejiro.

"O..oga Ken, you be lear..ner for where I dey o," Fejiro boasted. All he got from Ken was a smirk in reply. The competition started off with Naira Marley jams and Ken gave out real killer moves. Every leg work style represented dutifully. Fejiro on his own part was killing us with traditional dance-like moves that were rather hilarious than eye catchy.

"Omogei, Omogei!!!" Zara hyped as Ken skillfully danced to every song. That was exactly the ginger he needed because his energy drastically increased with each hype from Zara. I could feel it from where I was seated. Fejiro didn't come close actually. He was beaten straight up.

"Oga Fejiro, abeg come and sit down. They have won you already," I laughed loudly and Fejiro pouted, "Aunty, na..a me you d.dey do this thing too o."

I laughed, "Oya no vex. I just don't want Ken dance shaming you anymore." Everyone including Fejiro laughed.

After the games, we engaged in karaoke songs and then moved on the random party dance. Everyone of us were actively involved and I couldn't be happier.

It was almost 11pm when the party ended. Not like it ended on an official note, I guess everyone was just exhausted. Zara and Ken stood up after sometime gathering their stuffs to my utmost surprise.

"Ah han where are you people going to like this na?" I asked, "It's already late."

Zara walked up to me smiling. I couldn't really decipher what the smile meant but it was definitely a fishy one. She removed a small gift bag from her hand bag and stretched it out to me. "Happy birthday, bestfriend."

"Awww... Thanks baby." I collected it and leaned in for a brief hug.

"We'll see tomorrow, you hear? Don't worry, I've sprinkled St. Micheal oil around your house. Your village people won't find you this night."

I rolled my eyes, "Where are you going to now? It's already late"

"Goodnight baby girl." She winked and took Kenny's hand.

"Goodnight everyone." Ken Echoed and they left without actually providing any answer to my question.

"Where are these children planning on staying now?" I muttered to myself. "You people should not allow yourselves to be kidnapped o. I don't have money to bail anybody." I screamed. They never replied so I wasn't sure if they heard me or not.

I returned my gaze to Fejiro who was lazily playing bounce on his Nokia touch light. I frowned, "And you, what are you still doing here?"

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Finally, I've updated after a very long time!! So sorry brethren, school has resumed so time no dey again. I'll still be updating bit by bit sha.

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