If you aren't following me, I'm going to be leaving my profile soon, so I thought I'd fill everyone in on the state of my stories.

This book isn't too bad in terms of editing and revamp. Though I always say that before I go crazy. It's not too high in my priorities list at the moment, sorry to say, so I'll be getting it out within the next few months on my new profile. I'll post the warning on here when I'm going to delete the story so you can go to the new book if you're still interested.

Below the line is my good-bye, I figured that people would be most likely to see it if I posted into my stories. It's a bit of my personal grievances and insecurities about writing, so if you're curious, read on and you'll find a link to my new profile at the bottom. Or, if you're not that curious, just wait until my last update where I tell you about the new book. Whatever works for you c:

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So? Why the move?

Honestly, I just need a fresh start. I've spent a lot of time with myself lately, and then I learned a slew of different things—and I thought I'd share both with you guys on here.

At some point, writing started to become a game of statistics. I'd get so hung up with looking at other people's profiles, seeing how well they were doing and wondering why I wasn't doing as well. Or I'd post something and spend far too much time looking over and waiting for everyone else to notice it—waiting to see how many likes and comments it would get—and feeling disappointed when it didn't. Though it was the instances where I would find something wildly popular yet rather low quality that really killed me. Why put so much effort in when it seems like fluff and fan-service is all most people wanted?

I still want to slap myself whenever I feel like I'm falling into that old habit. It's an addiction and a problem really. I think the best way to explain this is with a quote by blogger Mark Manson.

"Earlier this year, I found that I was getting hung up on the number of people that were reading my book and my blog. I was getting frustrated because for the first time in my career, my readership had plateaued. I found myself tempted to pander to the lowest common denominator, just to get more traffic. But. I had to ask myself: "Would I rather be read by a massive audience for something I don't care about or a smaller audience for something I do care about?" That quickly put things into perspective."

One of the best places I saw that kind of perspective was in new, relatively unknown writers and how excited they'd get for their first comment, for a few likes—honestly it was fascinating. You might sneer and say, oh, that's nothing special—especially in the age of going viral and the internet in general, but really it is something special. The ability to appreciate the little things is a gift. When I started out on Wattpad, I was ambitious and eager to jump in—those little milestones were never enough. Ten followers. Twenty. One-hundred. Five-hundred. It was a thirst that could never be satisfied, and in the process of trying to fill this void, I completely forgot to stop and appreciate everything I already had.

But you write with words—not with numbers.

Another thing that happened is that I've connected with—and lost a lot of good friends here on Wattpad. Sometimes just because of conflicting schedules. Sometimes arguments. Sometimes they just disappeared. Sometimes I just disappeared. Along the way, this profile became the haunting ground of "the old KH/FF fandom." I know it's not true, there are still readers out there, just waiting for people who are willing to write. How can we writers complain about a lack of readers if we don't give you anything to read? It's like not watering your plants and asking why there aren't any flowers. Fortunately, I've made a number of brilliant friends, willing to support me and stand by my side, and to tell me: Liz, calm the fuck down. They have made all the difference, and the fact that I'm still writing is thanks to their unyielding encouragement.

Something I'm proud to say is that I learned that I like what I like. At first, posting Bonds in Blood nearly gave me a heart attack. It seemed so different than what I usually do, so different than what I thought all my followers expected of me. But—should I really be worried about that? I wrote a yandere story because I have my own working definition of yandere, I took what I knew and what I liked, and left behind what I didn't. I wrote the story because I had an idea I wanted to share and themes I wanted to explore. That doesn't change whether I'm working on the script of a game I want to publish, a fanfiction, or a yandere style reader-insert. I refuse to let myself feel ashamed for liking what I like and writing what I write—and that's something I'm going to hang onto, moving forwards.

You definitely have to have some tough skin to be creative, and everyone knows that their inner critic is the worst, but everyone's got their own demon to battle. My inner critic is not shredding me to pieces every time. It manifests in a restless energy that refuses to settle—some feeling in my gut that something isn't right. It shows in the little things, the self-deprecatory humor where I call my writing trash, or nonsense, or feel the need to apologize for it. Geez. Like being self-conscious wasn't enough. I'm proud of the fact I hold myself to high-standards, but I needed to take some time to learn how to be kind to myself. The two aren't mutually exclusive. You can be critical and impartial. It's been something I battled with for a long time, especially in the face of a steadily declining drop in self-confidence. If you can't tell, I'm on the right track now, which is a blessing in itself.

I've decided to leave behind the me who became a slave to statistics; the me who lost touch of the little things; the me clinging onto ghosts of what was, instead of focusing on what is; the self-conscious, overly-critical me. That's what I'm really leaving behind in this profile. It's not going to be immediate or perfect, but I'm going to try. I've come to terms with the fact that I'm a tiny, passionate human being who's a little too ambitious and hopelessly starry-eyed when it comes to the art of story-telling.

I'm hoping you guys will be there with me as I start this new chapter of my life as a writer. If not, thank you for the memories, truly. I'll pop into this profile from time to time to do some clean-up while transitioning fully into my new profile which you can find over at . Thanks for reading, yes, I promise this isn't an April fools joke, and I wish you all the best of luck in your own endeavors!