Book Name: Voices
Fandom: Vocaloid
Author: Vivisaurs
Content: 103 Chapters (RD)
POV: 3rd Person
Status: Completed
Remarks: 11 alt. endings + notes + 1 bonus chapter
Review Duration: 70 hours

Note: This review was commissioned by Vivisars' daughter, SolCutie.

A.) Cover

....1) Font (B)
....2) Colour Scheme (A)
....3) Relevance (S)
....4) Image (S)
....5) Implicative Aspect (A)
....6) Resolution (S)
....7) Impact (A)
....8) Meaning (S)

B.) Introduction
....1) Style (A)
....2) Relevance (S+)
....3) Allure/ Mysticism (S)
....4) Originality (S)
....5) Neatness (B)

C.) Storyline
....1) Length of Part/ Chapters (B)
....2) Prioritization (S+)
....3) Spotlights (S+)
....4) Composition (B)
....5) Presence of Plotline (A)
....6) Originality (S)
....7) Efficiency (B)

D.) Characters
....1) Accuracy [Fandom bound]
.......a) Behavior (B)
.......b) Delivery of Lines (A)
.......c) Mannerisms/ Talents (B)
....2) Description
.......a) Style (A)
.......b) Vividness (B)
.......c) Impact (B)
....3) Presence
.......a) Scene Distribution (S+)
.......b) Impact to the Story (S)
....4) Amount (S)

E.) Dialogue
....1) Accuracy
.......a) Based on Character (B)
.......b) Based on Atmosphere (B)
....2) Density/ Weight (C)
....3) Language
.......a) Related to Time (S+)
.......b) Related to Character (S)
.......c) Related to Scene (A)
....4) Richness
.......a) Description of Actions (C)
.......b) Linear to the Scene (B)
.......c) Creativity (A)
...5.) Length (C)
...6.) Neatness (B)
...7.) Attack (Delivery) (A)
...8.) Tags (C)

F.) Setting
....1) Direction (S+)
....2) Numbers of Locations (A)
....3) Scenario (B)
....4) Names
.......a) Locations (S)
.......b) Characters (A)
.......c) Others (B)

G.) Technical
....1) Errors
.......a) Punctuations (S+)
.......b) Grammatical (A)
.......c) Typographical (B)
....2) Arrangement (B)
....3) Length of Story (A)
....4) Encapsulation of Idea (A)
....5) Mood/ Temperature (A)
....6) Spacing (S)
....7) Chapter Titles (D)

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----------
-Verdict-
Book Name: Voices
Book Rating: 8.38/10.00 (A)
Potential: +49%
-----------
<Computation>

Cover - 8.79 (A)
Introduction - 8.87 (A)
Storyline - 8.38 (A)
Characters - 8.67 (A)
Dialogues - 7.24 (B)
Setting - 8.79 (A)
Technical - 7.93 (B)
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Cross-Examination:

In this section you will see the reasons behind the rating I gave to several categories of the book.

(Written by Shiroseca)

★Cover
To be honest, this book was really mysterious by the way it emerged from the depths of Miss Vivi's vault last year. The original image was still IA but in a more serious and reasonable image to bound by the title. Since the book was titled 'Voices', it is intriguing enough to know what the heck the book is all about.

However, since Miss Vivi knew way more fabulous than the original cover and the story behind it, our dear author had changed the cover to this one: the current one. And yeah. It fits well on what Ia is in the book: serious on the outside, cranky in the inside.

Wohoo! Way to go to ruin my understanding about the Vocaloids!

When I saw the cover, I thought Vivi had wrote a very serious heartwarming spiritual book. I mean, the cover title itself and the way the image was positioned could explain it.

But then again, I was wrong.

I saw a fk'd up Ia, Io, all of them... Not all actually, Meiko and Kageito are fine.

If Vivi had used a different approach in making the cover of the book, the rest of the aspects will be improved. The image in the cover and the font was not well blended. It needs connection; it needs spark...

The reason behind the high stats of this aspect lies in the simplicity of the image used and the title. Both had helped to raise it but on the flip side, it compromised the other aspects such as the meaning, the font and the implicative aspect..

I mean, by the way the book cover was titled, it should be a light book of paranormal or close to that.. But because of of Vivi's creative mind, they all messed up in the book. It is different than I expected to see..

★Introduction
The way the intro was done is like a drabble- or just close in being a drabble (probably a midget drabble). It's short, it's mysterious enough to make you wander but....

It is too short to make you informed enough of what's the book is all about. The intro must have more contents than that..

The style that was used is merely fine, but I've seen this style of intro somewhere several years ago but that intro was only served as a teaser.

At this case, tiny bits of info was given about Io and Ia and you'll be surprised when you read the rest...

Shiroseca: Now I know why Akaseca passed out reading this stuff..

★Storyline
When it comes to the book aspects, those two above are just like comments. The real deal was here onwards.

When I finished the book, I found the storyline more mushy than I expected.

Miss Vivi had mixed several kinds of weird scenarios that make up the storyline.

And miraculously it worked out fine. The only reason I'm not that impressed at the composition and efficiency is because most of the chapters were conversations and when you see narrations, it turns out to be thoughts of Vivi or the character.

The composition is not that balanced with narration and descriptions (80-10-10 share) and because of that problem, the efficiency to better explain the storyline as the story goes wasn't pretty visible right away, you need to sift through convos to actually know where the story is heading out.

★Characters
Based on the manner of the characters, I found it a little weird. I am aware they are teen-ish but the way the interaction takes place between then is somewhat part grown up and part childish.

About their line delivery, it pretty hits the mark (because they are teen-ish) but as I was reading how they talk to each other, it seems they tend to copy each other including the tone (adverbs are the reason).

The distinction of each character based on what they say is so difficult to find and if you found one, probably that's the only one you'll ever find.

Character description based on the three sub-aspects had suffered so much in terms of Miss Vivi's style of writing.

But on closer inspection, I found most of the problems at the parts when the characters are more frequently together or close by.

This aspect started bad, then improved as it gets in the middle, then it all dwindled down again at the latter part.

Even though the writing is very strange, the way characters were spread out during the stretch of the story is well done. Their scene distribution was well planned and it helped me to chase the story till the end.

Also, for the impact, it is great because, the characters were appearing at the right time and at the right parts of the story. The way new characters were brought slowly guided the rest of the parts in the right track.

The amount of characters I believe is close to 20 (except for characters that were only mentioned but no appearance) but Vivi managed to pull it off like a boss and not forcing other unnecessary characters to appear at a certain scene.

Other characters may have appeared like two or three chapters but it is fine. They're like served as supporting characters.

★Dialogue
This particular aspect was the worst performer of all the aspects of the book because of many issues regarding the dialogues.

Because the fandom was Vocaloid, the accuracy of the dialogues based on characters seems unnecessary but when there is no strong evidence that the character has the official personality, other aspects should be considered such as mannerisms, physical appearance, statistics and fashion taste wherein this case I'd use to make judgement to this aspect.

And it seems that the way the characters got their dialogues were close to sketchy but not quite invalid for them to have. The characters age has an average of 15 so the way they speak based on age also affects it.

Atmospheric-wise, the only reason why it has a 'B' rating is because the way they throw their lines at some parts of the story. It seems that those were creates for reference purposes but it ruined the flow of dialogues held by each of them.

Even if the story is engaging, the density of the dialogues are close to a flat line. From start to finish, its flat. The reveal came and the line twitched a bit- but still, its flat.

In terms of the richness of dialogue, the adverbs really did a huge damage on them. It made their dialogues seem like repetitive every chap.

It may sound good when used but also using it without parameters can also destroy the natural essence of a line, making it dependent on the tags more than the line itself. In numerical rating, I gave this sub a '6.71'.

About the dialogue length, all I can say is: it is a killer..

It seems endless. Convo after convo after convo whenever I flip the page.

Dialogues helps the readers to grab the information without the help of narrative. But also making conversations a major part of your book makes the book a little difficult to finish and get into the scene in time.

Also, Miss Vivi used the dialogues to cite some things that (I think) shouldn't appeared at that particular parts.

There is only one great use of the convoy in the entire book that I found justifiable:

That is the part when Luki was telling to Io what his life was like together with Luka and what happened in the past before something gone wrong.

Neatness is also a problem here. There are some unnecessary or extended words in the dialogue that I found both crazy and irritating to the eye.

Such as this one:
"YYYYYEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!"

These must be reduced to avoid further damage to the book. I know Vivi wanted it to be as wacky as sheet but, I wish that Vivi had done it in a limited way..

Overall, dialogue tags got the lowest rating (5.22) in this book and the one that is to blame are the adverbs attached everywhere in the lines.

The way adverbs infested almost 94% of the dialogues made my head spinning in circles thinking why this catastrophe happened in this book.

★Setting
As told above, the scenario that was used at this book is similar to a dating sim or light novel/ shoujo type of story. To better understand what I mean I'll just put it in this format..

Dating sim/ shoujo +
School +
Paranormal +
Light Yaoi +
Zombie +
Science Fiction +
Frankenstein theory +
Quantum Mechanics +
Drug Related References +
Self-harm/ Violence +
Medical Abnormalities =
Voices.

And since there are so many scenarios that was running at this book, it created some holes (or things left unexplained till the story was finished) within the story such as:

*How the club system works and rules.
*How Ia got a chance to talk to an unknown superior entity.
*The questionable habits of some of the characters.
*How, when, why and where does the haunting began on Io and on the other characters?

The only statement that states it is: that they got it during their childhood.

★Technical
As far as I'm concerned in this, the one thing that I'm gonna talk on this one is about the arrangement of the passages in general.

The passages, dialogues and some other stuff must be taken care of. Restructuring some of it could make the story very smooth to read.
This problem is the reason why it took me 70 hours just to finish this book. I am searching for the vital parts when I didn't see it at first read, I have to reread it all over again.

And a little more issue, I wish that instead of dead plain chapter numbers, Vivi should have put some names to specify and to determine the flow of the story or to where it was heading...

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Secasen's Note:

These are the things I have spotted during the review and I have put here alongside it the degree of the problem.

*Missing Punctuations (low)
*Side comments (high)

*Conjunction Problems (moderate)

*Lack of unity between words (moderate)
*Redundancy (high)
*Dangling words/ phrases/ block

(moderate)
*Adverbs (obviously high)

**Vivi has really no censorship on the "words" I found too vague and too much to be spelled out in text. They are pretty visible on most of the pages.

  **Whenever I am seeing:  

-blinked, I thought of cars;
-grumbled, I thought of pebbles;
-snapped, I thought of broken twigs;
-shot, I thought of guns;
-Io, I thought he's high on bong.

**In chapter 03, Io's place was described as a total dump, being a dead rat stuck at the couch and a liquid (likely vomit) was at the floor. Here's the prob, they have those stuff yet no one commented nor mentioned that those things stink.

I know the smell of a dead rat, it is so freaking bad, I tell 'ya.

**[C04] "entering" instead of "enterring"

**Bed scenes are dominant in this book...

**[C21] "offense" instead of "offence"

**[C35] The type of pose Io was doing was never mentioned by any of them or the author. I just assume that Io's legs are spread wide while posing masculine in front of the girls.

**[C39] "wept" instead of "weeped"

**Teachers do not easily nod at the students unless they have reasons enough to do it.

**[C44] Vivi gave a very huge hint at this chap...

**[C63] When IA and Meito had talked, I do not know where the heck they were.. The place wasn't mentioned.

**[C71] I'm sure that this chapter is a filler one because the conversation between Gumo and Io are circling and circling at the same question and response.

**[C72] Gumo's attitude is somewhat similar to "Flippy" from "Happy Tree Friends" the only difference was Gumo is not ex-military personnel, he's just so flipping off randomly bad.

**[C77] When I saw this line:

I assume that they had wore two underwears each.

**[C90] Spill.

**[C91-102] Killing spree of Io.

**[C101 and 102] As far as my knowledge, Kaito asked Io if his d*** could fit in Io's ass.

Same for Meito.

Even if Miss Vivi tried, I still got the message.. Like ya', still Vivi failed to conceal the real deal..

**[C104-115] The alternative endings.
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Closing Comments:

First off, this book had made me live in disgust with the gender bends. No offense to Vivi, but this book just turned all bright into a total nightmare. I just stick doing stories for the ladies, Miss Vivi can have the boys.. (Dang it, I kinda like Io. He's just too fk'd up in this book- really fk'd up.)

And with the 11 alternative endings you can choose to read, what a deal to have my head so so messed up like a mush of wet bread.

Ugh.... After I read this book, I needed to call the other Aisecas Renjiseca (the creeper), Akaseca (the emo) and Shiroseca (the hater) to write down mah review because I'm too weak to do it because of the gross factor and Io's fk'd up live here.

He just fk'd everybody.

Anyway, mah individuality as a member of this fandom had forever been scarred and charred for good for the gender bends. RIP for them, I guess I'll stay away from them till they get their things fixed.

Miss Vivi's way of expressing the love for the boys was truly bloody, messed up, and fk'd up as always Miss Vivi does.

And take note: you'll never know what else Vivi can write in le name of this fandom. Vivi is just too brilliant to be understood when it comes at scenarios.

I cannot argue with that but please, I would like to spare Kiroseca (the good) and my remaining fandom innocence towards the boy by staying away temporarily at this book. This really gives me the ultimate creeps.

- End of Assessment -