I am writing down an account of my life with the hopes that you will read it and understand a little bit more about me. I don't hate you and I hope you don't hate me despite our present attitudes towards each other. I guess in order to start at the very beginning I'll introduce myself to you again and go back to our very first meeting 2 years ago. My name is Brent Haley and I am a boy despite my name's girlish undertones. I have one brother and one sister, both of which are dead and are only mentioned so that you might know more about me. I live by myself but you don't know that because I haven't told you yet. I came here to this small town of River Valley from San Francisco at the beginning of high school 2 years ago to escape my abusive stepmother who repeatedly raped me while my father watched. You may start to feel sorry for me but don't because it's not your fault. I enrolled myself into River Valley High and for the past 2 years tried blend in and get my diploma. But there are reasons that I will tell you about later why that can no longer be my plan. The last thing I need to get to in my long introduction is this: I love you. We fought these 2 years and we hated each other but that was a lie because I saw you when you thought no body was watching. I saw your compassion, you kindness, and your beauty and fell in love with the side that you let nobody see. Please do not be disgusted and don't let this deter you from reading this all the way through. I wanted someone from this small town to know about me and the only one I truly wanted to know was you. So now my long introduction is finished and I can tell you when this first started, 2 years ago, when I first me you in the principle's office on my first day of school.

I'm sitting in the office not knowing that my life is about to change. You were called to show me to my classes as I was assigned to the same ones as you. I was excited to have a chance to make my first friend but you didn't give me this chance. You took one look at me with those deep gray eyes of yours and said to find my own way and that you wanted nothing to do with me. That stung a lot but I don't blame you. I don't want anything to do with me either so I have no right to complain. I just found my way to my classes on my own. In each class I was ignored and I later found that was because you told every body not to talk to me. I don't really care about that either. I'm so much more used to being alone anyways. My stepmother never let me have friends over in fear that I'd sleep with somebody else. I made my way into the cafeteria and found my seat. It didn't surprise me to see you surrounded by everyone and that you were so popular. It seemed to me like you had everything. I then wondered why your eyes were so sad. After school I grabbed my books from my locker and you came up to me with your friends. They screamed at me that I was disgusting and a faggot like me should go back to where he came from. I took those insults and stared directly at you. Do you remember? We held contact for a few seconds before you began shouting at me too. I don't remember if I showed how much that hurt on the inside. What I do remember though is that your heart never seemed to be into causing me pain as your buddies.

I noticed those things that your "friends" didn't. I had hoped you wouldn't continue as that first day of school happened but it did. Everyday I was punched, kicked, and shouted at, mainly by you and sometimes I fought back. This may be annoying to hear what happened in your life but I wanted you to hear my side of this story. I pretended to hate you because that is what would be normal of a guy getting beat up by someone. I did hate those people. But I would never hate you. If you don't believe anything else then believe that. I saw you cry when your friends laughed and I saw you laugh making your eyes light up your face. I fell in love with your true self and not the front you put up for others.

I am going to tell you about my past now. You may not care but it is why I'm me and why I met you to begin with. I was born 17 years ago today to an addict father and a mother who passed away during childbirth. My father blamed me for her death like I chose to kill her when I came out of her. He beat me everyday much like you have done since I came here. When I was 12 he married a woman because she had enough money to buy him cigarettes and drugs. She married him because she wanted to sleep with me-and she did. I hated every second of it but couldn't run away because my room was kept locked and my windows barred shut. This is why I hate women. One day, the day I escaped, I pretended to enjoy what she did to me and managed to get her chained to my bed and ran out the door and never looked back. I came to your town hoping that it's small enough so that they would never think to look for me here. But now, 2 years later, they found me. I am doing the only thing I have yet to do. And that brings me to the near end of this message to you. Please, when they find my body swinging from my apartment ceiling, don't hate me anymore. I just want to die at least with false belief that my love is requited.

I love you Theo Jacobs.

Theo reads that last line from the letter, tears dripping down his face, as he quickly runs out the door of his house in search of Brent's apartment building. All he can do is hope that he's not too late to save him. He finds him just about to kick over the chair to end his life. Theo cries at him to stop and Brent looks at him startled. He had arrived faster than Brent thought he would. Brent turns away and almost kicks down the chair.

"Stop!" Theo cries.

"Why should I?"

"I don't hate you." Brent pauses wondering what Theo means. "I love you Brent Haley."

Tears stream down Brent's face and he can hardly speak for fear of waking up from his dream. He finds the strength to say one word: "Why?"

"For seeing me when no one else would."