I just don't see a reason to go on.

'Woah, Ivy that's a very heavy start!'

Bitch I know. Stfu.

I know what I'm think and feeling and I know how "serious" it is. And I'm still saying it.

I don't know when exactly I stopped Living..  I don't sing anymore, I don't write anymore.

When I laugh, it is so momentary

I'm happy for the second and it doesn't even last one day! I don't see why i should keep walking

Or breathing

I know it's really Dark, whatever I'm saying. I know that it makes so many people worried about me and I hate it.
But why the fuck does anyone care?Why do people care if I say things like that?
Why do they care if i do or dont what i want to do?

If I want to follow through it's not your life! If I have lived for people for so many years shouldn't I have at least the right to die whenever I want?

Why is it such a bad thing anyway? It's my choice if I want to go on or not.  Why do I have to think about my parents and my family and my Friends?

Shouldnt it be my own decision if I don't want to continue? It is my choice isn't it?

So Why?

Why do you care? 'Oh, but think about the people who love you!'

Bitch no thanks.
I don't want to think about myself what the fuck made you thinks it's a good idea that I should think about others?

Isn't thinking about 'the people you love' the biggest reason that pushes people to self harm?
Isn't it the people who you love the most, that hurt you the worse?

And the world is going to he'll anyway. So what does it matter if i go first?

My friends will mourn me for a week, a month maybe a year even. My family, a few years. But they'll move on.

Because time doesn't stop just because someone you love died, you know? So they'll all move on.

When you are hurt by someone, how does your circle comfort you? I bet at least one of them says something like, 'people around you are a part of your life, not your whole life.'
Right?

So what does it matter if one more human you used to know leaves? Just think of it as if someone's blocked you.

I wrote this last month and realised that I forgot to publish it lmao