The thunder woke him.

Johnny stirred,groaning at his stiff muscles. He would have cursed himself for how careless he'd been tonight but he was too satisfied, too happy, maybe. He hadn't always been to keen on measuring his happiness. He knew when he he felt full of displeasure and swiftly dealt with it if he could.

When he was a boy he'd always known happiness because of his mother. When she left, he mourned her but she'd left with a piece of him. The part of him that knew what it meant to be loved, could recognize it from a mile away. He didn't know if that piece was large enough to affect the rest of his life.

He looked down at the boy in his arms to try and decipher, try and gnaw at that part of him that refused so many others the privilege of his emotions but was instead met with the ungodly sight of Sage's darkened features shivering underneath him.

Johnny bolted from his comfortable position and ran his hands all over Sage's body.

"Sage, what's wrong?" He asked.

Sage threw him a weak smile. Johnny grimaced.

He wasn't pleased with the expression. He'd hoped that the shared sexual experience would have loosened Sage up but it had taken a drastic step in the opposite direction. Sage seemed so wound up, nothing like the boy who'd been flying high from Johnny's assault on his body.

"Just, um..." Sage mumbled but turned away again, breathing loudly from his mouth and nose.

Johnny refrained from asking Sage anymore questions. He'd just have to feel him out.

Johnny raised his hand and stroked the side of Sage's face but hisses when he realized how cold it felt. Taking a moment to gather his thoughts and think clearly, he realized they were damp from the rain.

"I need you to strip." Johnny murmured but it was as if he'd shouted the words as Sage's wide eyes met his serious ones.

Johnny cocked his head to the side, the lightning from the the window illuminating his face every few seconds. Johnny wondered if there was even a light bulb in this place.

"You're cold, Sage." Johnny grabbed his hand, "We can't sleep like this. Take off your clothes."

He said each word slowly but they all fell to deaf ears as Sage continued to stare at him like he was an alien. Johnny only wanted to be familiar with Sage, nothing else would do for him. HE grabbed the boy's cold face purposely allowing his breath flow over him.

"Strip,Sage, please. You're shivering." He said quietly. Sage closed his eyes briefly, his face contorting into disarray but he still didn't move like Johnny wanted him to.

Please don't hit me.

Johnny placed Sage's head back down on the mattress before clutching the hem of Sage's sweatshirt. It wasn't soaked too bad but Johnny bet it was uncomfortable. He slowly pulled up the material watching Sage's face but Sage just watched him, neither helping nor objecting. It was a horrible place to be in but Sage wasn't exactly giving Johnny much choice.

Maybe he should hit me.

Just so he'd know, get an inkling of what was going on in Sage's mind. Johnny had thought Sage had gone to sleep but he'd merely laid there in discomfort. Johnny didn't believe the situation called for a scolding. Johnny pulled the shirt off, Sage's limbs complying.

Johnny threw the sweatshirt to another darkened part of the room. He looked back to Sage's bare chest. The hairless, smooth surface slowly moving up and down. He seemed calm enough btu eerily so like he was only half-aware of what was going on.

Johnny's gaze flitted between Sage's passive face and his Sage's jeans. His fingers slowly reached the button and he paused again but Sage still hadn't moved. With his brow deeply furrowed and his thought troubled Johnny prayed Sage would understand. Quickly, loosening the button, Johnny unzipped his pants, the sound beating against his ears. He didn't want any of this to feel wrong. He didn't think he'd ever undress Sage like this. In truth, Johnny's fantasies of Sage were never sexual for one he'd never seen the boy naked and two he didn't want to think of Sage that way. It felt empty when he did. He wanted to know what Sage was going to add to his life.

"Can you turn around for me, Sage?" Johnny tried not wanting to take the pleasure of having this view, even though it would have been poorly lit.

Surprisingly, Sage responded slowly turning over. His laid on the side of his face, eyes still watching Johnny's movements closely. Not wasting anytime, Johnny pulled down Sage's pants and underwear.

Johnny rolled up the clothing slowly, nervousness creeping up on him as his mouth watered.

What an ass.

He cleared his throat looking away from Sage's figure. He really thought he could contain his more perverse thoughts. He shifted on the mattress, patting around for more dry parts. He figured Sage's side was all wet.

When he'd found the spot and looked up towards Sage he was again surprised. Sage was upright, sitting on his heels, his lower half shrouded in darkness. Johnny moved closer to him,mirroring his position but before he could respond Sage drew a cold finger down his aching shoulder, right over the raised skin of his injury. It was pink now and curved over his shoulder with a wide berth.

It was the same scar Sage had kissed as Johnny nodded off. It hadn't ached much since. "How'd you get it?" Sage asked out of blue. His voice normal, eyes trained curiously on the rough skin.

"I'll tell you if you let me warm you up a bit."

"You're wet too, you know." Sage replied.

Johnny was aware that his jeans were on him like a second skin but it wasn't his concern. He didn't think it was necessary to remove his clothes. He could manage. He didn't want to partake in any more activities this night. He wanted Sage aware, more willing, more responsive another time.

If I could just get him to survive the night.

"You should take off your pants... Johnny." Sage's tongue clicked out as he turned his head to the side, looking up at Johnny expectantly. Johnny wasn't sure what Sage was playing at but he didn't like it. He was glad for the quick turn around with Sage's opinion of him but he wasn't so sure how far Sage was willing to go at this point.

Sage sighed, dropping the attitude and grabbed Johnny's pants. The forceful tug of Sage's hands startled Johnny and he quickly stopped Sage's movements. Sage bared his neck to him, throwing his head back and groaning.

"I'm just returning the favor. Can I do that Johnny,hmm?" Sage asked his face full of expectation.

And Johnny curtly replied, "Sure." He moved his hands away, pretending not to be affected by the cold fingers that slowly worked his pants off, grazing his thighs right down to his toes. He was sure Sage couldn't see much but must have assumed wrong as he was sprung from his pants and the boy's sharp intake of breath met his ears.

He wasn't hard but he would be if they didn't get to the point of this stripping episode. "Lie down,Sage." Johnny said gruffly trying hard not to pull out anymore surprises. Sage seemed to jump at his voice as Johnny grabbed his clothes from Sage.

Sage slowly lowered himself down again, now on his side, looking up at Johnny. It seemed his eyes couldn't decide where to look. Johnny sighed laying on his back and tucking his hand under Sage's side as his body willing lay on top of the older man's chest.

Sage's hands slowly crept up on Johnny's stomach. Johnny hissed lowly but didn't stop him. He wanted Sage to touch him. The boy's fingers glided softly over his abdomen, circling his belly button a few times before venturing lower. Johnny felt himself stiffen at Sage's exploration. He was glad to know Sage was curious but he didn't want him to be too curious.

The boy's fingers tickled the edge of his hip, almost brushing the hair of his crotch. His thumb circled the indent of his hips, massaging the skin there.

"You have a nice body."

"You have a nice ass." Johnny was aroused to a certain degree and allowed himself this one admittance.

Sage propped his head up on his chin and stared at Johnny murmuring a soft thank you.

"Do you have a blanket?" Johnny asked breaking the silence that had ensued after their confessions.

"Under the mattress." Sage instructed. Johnny took the directions and extracted a large blanket but something else brushed his fingers, something sharp. His pause was barely noticeable as he took the blanket in his grasp and pulled it out.

Moving back to their positions Johnny took a long look at Sage's blond head and wondered what else there was to him.

"Johnny?"

"Hmm."

"I want to get to know you too."

Johnny didn't say anything.

"Is that alright with you?"

"Yeah, whatever you want." Johnny breathed out, surprised he could say anything at all as his arm slowly went numb under the weight of Sage's body. He didn't know why he felt his chest rise. He wasn't breathing any harder than he usually would.

He stared off into the dark before shifting his gaze back to the top of Sage's head, the boy's breath brushing softly against his chest. He was glad to know Sage had gone first this time and no longer shivered. Johnny shifted his arm relieving it from the numbness without waking Sage. He wrapped it around Sage's smaller frame before bringing his thumb to Sage's lips and slowly gliding his finger over the plump surface. He eventually stopped opting to glide his whole hand down Sage's naked side barely touching his ass. He didn't feel any strong need to grab at it. Having Sage so close to him was enough, knowing that in this moment Sage was at peace was enough.

There was a lot more for Johnny to uncover, to understand about Sage and why he could go from the most animated boy taking pleasure in his body's sexual desire to a shy boy,unable to speak even the simplest truth.

I'm cold.

Had so much time passed for Sage in his solitude for him to forget what it meant for someone to care for him? Even in all his years alone Johnny had never once forgotten how his mother had cared for him and hadn't once dared to throw away all she sacrificed to make sure he stayed alive.

He was sure Sage's brother, wherever he was, wouldn't have appreciated Sage gambling with his life. Johnny hoped his mother was proud of what he was able to do for Sage tonight. With his luck, he'd get many more nights to do this for him again.

・

aaron rhodes as sage

song: nirvana by sam smith from his in the lonely hour (drowning shadows edition). love this song so much.