Chapter 19

Yuri's POV

A week has passed since that night at Yol Saek and Jessica and I were still not talking to one another. We would avoid each other by going to events in different cars, eating at different times, and be in different rooms --which wasn't that difficult since her heater is now fixed.

Furthermore, our stubborness to apologize created tension within the group. Sunny and Hyoyeon confronted me the next morning about making Jessica cry the whole night. I didn't doubt that she had cried the whole night. Her eyes were bloodshot red the next morning and when Taeyeon asked her about it, she simply said that it was an eye infection. But I'm pretty sure the leader had an idea of what happened.

Tiffany must have found out some time later during that same day, whether it was through Taeyeon or Jessica herself. "Yuwree! How could you say that to Sica? You know how she feels when people misunderstand her coldness as being rude! And Kevin didn't show up because he was still working. Kwon Yuwree, you better apologize to my friend." Whatever. Guess he told her to go to the restaurant first since the princess was hungry.

Even Seohyun who was clueless to the situation stuck by Jessica's side just because she's closer to Sica than she is to me. But I understand. Despite Jessica's cold Ice Princess act, she was always warm and caring towards our maknae. So now these five have sided with the Ice Princess.

Luckily, I had Yoona and Sooyoung to share my story with. At the beginning, they were completely agreeing with my outtake and the more that I spoke about Jessica's rudeness, the angrier I got and the more justified I felt for saying those hurtful words. I mean, does she really think she's a princess? Even so, does that give her the right to go around being rude to people? It was about time that somebody put her in her place.

However, after a couple of days, Sooyoung and Yoona started to become more neutral and tried to convince me to just let it go. At one point, I even told them that I no longer wanted to be friends with her.

"What's the point when all Sica does is give you the cold treatment and push you away? Ugghhh! I can't stand her." After saying this, I felt somebody's shoe hit me on my shoulder --Tiffany's shoe.

"Kwon Yuwree!" Tiffany gave me one of her deadliest glares. She must've just returned from her recording with Jessica because when I turned around to see who hit me, I saw Sica's back and Fany chasing after her down the hallway.

After that incident, the tension in the house escalated to a whole new level. The nine of us no longer ate meals together at the dorm and if we had lunch or dinner breaks during practice, we would break off into two groups --mine being the minority.

It wasn't until I went to Yol Saek for lunch one day that my anger started to simmer down. I apologized to Jae and his mom for Sica's rude behavior. And after apologizimg, I went on to criticize her character yet again.

"She's a cold and inconsiderate person. How dare she talk to you guys like that! Insulting you is like insulting my family."

In a very gentle voice, Ahjumma says, "Yuri, dear. I'm not even angry, so why are you angry?"

"Because..."

"If anything, I'm more angry at you. So what if she was stating the obvious? Did you see me that night? I had eggshells in my hair! What a disaster. Good thing she told me otherwise people on the streets might've thought I was some crazy old woman. You on the other hand, your words were really harsh that night. I think you really hurt her."

As I was absorbing all this, my senses finally kicked in. I was being childish for throwing my rage around and bad mouthing Sica. She really isn't that cold... it's just that she expresses concern in her own unconventional method.

"Yeah, well... She really hurt me," I told Jae's mom who is now pouring me some hot tea. Looking at the cup, I remember the second time I brought Jessica here. She was afraid that I would get a stomachache after drinking my cup of cold tea so she gave me hers.

"Little Yuri, how did she hurt you?" Ahjumma asked me with an amused smile.

"Well, she cancelled our dinner to have dinner with this guy that she likes!" Well, I cancelled it, but clearly she was only using me as her backup in case Kevin didn't want to have dinner with her.

"Yuri... I think she was already hurt by not getting to have dinner with the person that she likes. You didn't have to hurt her more by saying that she's only pretty on the outside and ugly on the inside."

Sipping my tea, I think about what she said. It's true. I was so blinded by my own feelings that I just overlooked hers. I was the cold and inconsiderate person that night.

I thank Ahjumma for the tea and for taking the time off work to chat with me. Grabbing my purse, I head back to the dorm ready to apologize. But nobody was there except for Yoona and Sooyoung.

"Yoong, where's Sica?"

"She went out with the others to get some lunch. Why?"

Sooyoung jumps onto the couch that we're sitting on and excitedly asks me, "Finally! Are you ready to make up with her now?"

I nod my head in shame and explain to them the part that I left out during my initial vent, how she was already hurt and after seeing how Jae was treating me, she must've been jealous and angry.

"Unnie! You're horrible!"

"Yeah! I can't believe we were siding with you!" Sooyoung added.

"I know..." I put my head down in shame.

Over the next few days, I tried to be nice to Jessica, to get her to talk to me again. I would cook for her but when she found out that it was me who made the food, she refused to eat it so I stopped because she was starting to get weak with hunger even though she wouldn't admit it.

If I woke up late, I would let her use the bathroom first. But then manager oppa kept scolding me about my tardiness.

My group members noticed my pitiful efforts and were no longer holding a grudge against me. They even tried to get us in the same room or have us talk to each other.

"So Sica, what did you think about babo Yuri's mistake today on the show?" Sunny would ask.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she would reply back before running off to either hide in some other part of the dorm or start another conversation with somebody else.

By now, I had run out of ideas and everytime I thought about it, my head would start to hurt. Turns out my wisdom teeth needed to be extracted.

As I'm lying on the couch with a pack of ice against my cheek to soothe the pain, Sooyoung comes up to me and whispers so the other members don't hear. "So how's the Sica situation? Has she forgiven you yet?"

I shake my head.

"Well, I think it's time that you give me a point," she says slyly.

"Let's hear it."

"You have to get your wisdom teeth pulled out right?"

"Mmmhhmmm..." This plan had better not involve somebody by the name of Jessica yanking out my teeth in order to get her to forgive me.

"Well, you'll be needing somebody to go with you to the dentist because you're going to be high on anesthetics, right?"

"Something like that."

"Well I just checked our schedules and Sica is the only one available all day tomorrow so you could go then."

My appointment was supposed to be later today because the pain was starting to become unbearable. "Call my dentist and change the day." I insrtuct Sooyoung.

She snatches my cell phone out of my hands as I'm handing it to her and immediately rushes into her room with a wide smile plastered on her face.

I sit up from the couch and look around to make sure Jessica could hear me. I spot her sitting in the kitchen practicing her lyrics with Tiffany and Seohyun.

"Hey guys," I yell out to get 'everybody's' attention. "I need somebody to come with me to the dentist tomorrow. Who's free?"

They're all checking their schedule and apologizing one after another. Jessica was the only one who remained in her seat, still staring blankly at the sheet in her hands.

"Oh! Sica unnie, you're free all day tomorrow. Why don't you go with her?" Yoona suggests.

Jessica's quiet for a second before finally looking up at me to say, "What's the point of having me there? It's not like my coldness could help freeze her gums. Plus, I'll just be giving her a bigger headache since she can't stand me," she says bitterly.

I'm hurt and surprised by her response... but I totally deserved it. I lie back down on the couch and Sooyoung comes to join me after her call to my dentist, oblivious to the awkwardness in the air.

"So?" she asked me.

"Fail."

I hear chairs being pushed back and the rustling of papers.

"Alright guys, we're off to do our radio interview now. Wish us luck!"

We all shout out our wishes to JeTiHyun and I direct mine at Jessica specifically. But once again, she ignores me and pulls Tiffany away from Taeyeon and towards the door.

"Yuri unnie, how are you feeling?" Yoona comes over to ask me.

"I could bear with the pain in my mouth, but not with Jessica's silent treatment," I answer honestly.

"Ahhh!" Yonna snaps her hand with a huge smile as if she just thought of something brilliant. "Why don't you go down to the station to visit them? I always felt better whenever unnie or Sica unnie came to visit me on set. You could even make her some soup. Her voice was sounding a bit coarse when she was practicing... Probably from all the cry--"

"Yoong!" Sooyoung cuts her off.

"Sorry, unnie. I didn't mean that..."

I heard it earlier when they were rehearsing. Jessica's angelic voice was straining to hit all the notes properly. And it was all my fault for making her cry so much this week.

"That's a good idea, Yoong. You want to help me prepare the soup? I should get there before their interview is over."

"Just tell me what to do," she smiles.

"Oh! I want to help too!" an eager Sooyoung volunteers and dashes off into the kitchen.

----

I walk into the studio and look for the room where they're doing their recording. The secretary at the front informed me that they were just taking a short break and will be resuming soon.

Hugging the hot thermos against me, I quickly search for the room. As I'm walking down the hall, I bump into Tiffany.

"Yuwree, what are you doing here?"

"I.... umm... Brought you guys some soup."

"Hah! We were all just talking about how dry our throats are from all that talking." She drags me by my hand to the recording room.

I greet the staff and join Seohyun and Jessica at their seats.

"Look what Yuwree brought us!" Tiffany's unscrewing the thermos cap and pouring each of them a bowl.

"I'm not thirsty anymore," Jessica says icily.

"But... it's... umm... good for your throat," I tell her in hopes that I could change her mind since I know how important her singing voice is to her.

"Alright, we're going back on air in one minute. Everybody take their seats please!" The DJ announces. He's heading towards his seat but stops when he notices me. "Oh! Kwon Yuri! How are you? Hey, do you want to join us on our show? It'll be great for ratings." Before waiting for my answer, he pulls out the chair beside Jessica and ushers me to sit down.

"And we're back with SNSD's Jessica, Tiffany, and Seohyun!" He starts announcing. "But! Today we also have another special guest who decided to drop by to show her support for her group members. Ahhh... The SNSD bond, friendship."

I look over at the three girls beside me and smile at them to show my support. Only two smile back while one was just staring at the paper in her hand.

"Listeners, can you guess who's here? Is it their Umma leader, Taeyeon? Or is it the cute Yoona that we love seeing on screen? Maybe next time guys! Because today, we have SNSD's Black Pearl Kwoooooon Yuuuuuri!"

That's my cue to introduce myself. After my gretting, the DJ is asking me little questions here and there to summarize what I've been busy with lately. Then he resumes his interview from where they left off before going on break.

"So, Yuri. Before you came in, we were just talking about whether it was better to go back in the past or to move forward into the future. What kind of a person are you? Past or future?"

I think about his question for a moment. "Mmmm... any other day, I would answer future just because there's no point to go back into the past and change something only to repeat a similar mistake in the future. Might as well explore than relive, I say." I take a deep breath and look at Jessica. "But today, I want to choose to go back in the past to erase a memory, or so to change an event."

Upon hearing the last part of my speech, Jessica lifts her gaze slightly from the sheet of paper that's on the table.

"Oh, Yuri, it sounds like you really want to change something that happened in the past. Do you mind sharing with the listeners what it is?" the DJ asks.

I pick up a pen from the table and play with it nervously. I glance over at Jessica again before elaborating on my thoughts. "About a week ago, I said some really hurtful things to somebody that I care about a lot."

"Oh? Do you mind telling us what it was that you said?"

"I was very emotional that day and was very insensitive towards her feelings. I called her cold, rude, inconsiderate, and basically having a very mean character and that's why nobody likes her." I nervously look at Jessica again in case I made her cry. One of her hands is clenched into a fist and the other is scratching at her jeans with her index finger.

"Ouch! Those are really hurtful and powerful words to say to someone."

Tiffany defends me from the DJ. "But Yuwree never says things like that. So if she has to go back to the past to change something, this will be the only thing."

"Yes, I would like to go back and change that night. Everything that I said was out of spite. I didn't mean any of those things. And even if I did I would be lying." I reach for Jessica's hand underneath the table. "People who aren't close to her don't see this, but she's always thinking about what's best for others. She always wants to help even though she might not be very good at it. For example, cooking." Knowing exactly who I'm talking about, Tiffany and Seohyun start laughing.

"She has this cold appearance but in reality she's very warm and fragile, which is why the cruel things that I said must've hurt her a lot that night." This time, I'm not glancing or peeking, I'm looking straight at Jessica. "I was a jerk to my friend and I'm sorry. Saranghae..."

"Ah... Yuri's apology was very sincere. This friend, if you're listening, please forgive her."

As the DJ is helping me with my apology, I take the pen that's in my hand and draw a heart with the word 'sorry' on Jessica's paper and signed it 'Kwon Seobang'.

I'm no longer paying attention to what's going on during the radio show and from what I can tell, neither is Jessica. She's looking back and forth between my drawing and me and it wasn't until the DJ called her name again that she snapped back to reality.

"Yes?"

"Ahhh.. Sica is slow to respond again. Yuri brought you guys some soup and your members said that it was good. What do you have to say?"

Pulling out of my hold on her hand, Jessica firmly holds the bowl that's in front her with her two hands and drinks all of its contents.

"Ahhhh..." She smacks her lips together in satisfaction. "Delicious!"

"Oh really? Aish, I'm jealous. Yuri, next time you're going to have to bring me some homemade soup too."

"Haha! Sure!" I'm smiling like a fool not because somebody wants my soup but because I think Sica has forgiven me.

She leans in and with her lips almost touching my ear, whispers to me, "I'll come with you to the dentist tomorrow." And I'm smiling even wider.