Alyssa's POV

With a heavy heart, I sat down on the edge of my bed slightly aside from Luke, offering a soft and friendly smile. He tried to smile back but it didn't reach his eyes as his gaze fell back to the ceiling he had been glaring at before I'd entered. At first, I felt uncomfortable wanting to break the silence as I always had done but this time I felt he needed it. His mind seemed to be whirring with so many things. After a few moments, Luke sighed which seemed to indicate it was okay for me to speak.

"Sorry to intrude. I just wanted to check on you." I began, not wanting to seem like I was trying to involve myself in his life the way he kept hinting at. He was still, his eyes not even moving from the spot on the ceiling as I spoke. "I can leave you alone if you need me to. I just wanted to make sure you knew we were there for you. This is all so overwhelming." My head hung low as I spoke, my mind whirring back over the panic-stricken face of Luke as Michael announced someone called Roy telling us Ivy was back.

"I really thought I'd got rid of her." Luke finally spoke, his voice hoarse as if filled with emotion.

"I know. From the little you told me in your house, it seemed like it was all in the past." I reiterated, hoping he'd understand I was on his wavelength. "And with the fact she stalked your family, I can only imagine your worry for Kira now." Luke groaned as he turned onto his side to face me, his eyes finally glinting with a slight happiness as we spoke.

"Yeah, exactly. I mean, I love those guys but they don't get it. They're not parents." He rubbed his hand over his face. "They helped me through so much shit with Ivy but my worry was always with Olivia and Kira, you know? What if she weaselled her way into their lives? Or kidnapped Kira after school? They just thought I was being paranoid." I shook my head, knowing that I didn't want to speak badly of his friends but agreeing with what he'd said.

"My sister is the same. She has a tiny fluffball dog. When I panicked after Harry left and stupidly thought he'd play some stunt to get Cody and all the money that came with it, she just said I was crazy and upset because of our breakup..." I sighed, not wanting the conversation to be about me. "But trust me, I know what you mean. I feel like I want to protect you and Kira from her already, just from that one encounter at the door." Luke pulled himself up to sit up on the bed, his back now against my bedboard and his feet stretched out just behind me. I positioned myself so that I was facing him.

"Being a parent changes everything. It makes you worry about things you'd never worry about before." Luke took a deep breath in and out. "And it doesn't help that Kira is stuck with me and I'm doing a crappy job." I furrowed my brows in an instant, my mouth falling open as I gawped at him.

"And what makes you think that?" I pried, knowing whatever he was going to say, I was going to disagree wholeheartedly.

"Olivia was so hands on. She could do her hair, sing Disney songs to her at bath time and Kira absolutely adored her, looked up to her even though she was a baby. Olivia was perfect, an absolute star who adapted to every new stage and age that Kira went through. I've struggled through every stage since not knowing if I'm truly helping or just screwing it all up." Luke huffed at himself. "And with my job, I've been away for long periods of time with Kira stuck with nannies and childminders. I just feel like Kira resents me for that."

"Absolutely not!" I exclaimed, possibly a little louder and more forcefully than I had intended it to be. Luke straightened where he sat and raised an eyebrow at me. "I've seen how Kira looks at you, how she cares for you. She dotes on you. There's no manual on parenting, we have to make it up as we go along. And I, for one, think you're doing an amazing job." Luke tutted, shaking his head at me.

"An amazing job?" He snapped. "I was so drunk that she called you to come and help me. Does that sound like I'm doing a good job?" I knew he was just mad at himself, but I couldn't let him get himself into this downward spiral of depression. I had begun to feel a fire in my stomach, growing at his lack of support for himself as a father. 

"You had one moment of weakness which is completely normal for someone who lost their wife. We aren't in the movies, everything is not good twenty-four-seven." I argued back. I'd hardly been the perfect mother to Cody either, but we had to accept what we had done in the past and keep looking into the future, to guide these kids into the right direction.

"It's been more than once." He spat back, shaking his head at himself again. "But I appreciate the false words to try and give me hope." The anger was growing, everything I was saying to him was being spat back at me as if I was lying. I was just trying to help but he wasn't letting me in.

"They aren't fake. I'm trying to help you see that you're doing a good job from one parent to another." I said through gritted teeth. Luke shot me down with a dismissive 'pfft'.

"Yeah okay." He rolled his eyes. 

"What is your problem?" I suddenly snapped, making him look over at me in shock. "I'm trying to help you, I'm being honest and you're just knocking me down."

"Because you're not being honest. I haven't been a good person since Olivia left me, I know it, the guys know it. The only person trying to kid themselves is you." He barked, folding his arms across his chest as he stared down at me.

"You know what?" I said, suddenly quiet and reserved. "Forget it." I stood quickly, heading to the door. As my hand grabbed the door handle, Luke grabbed my attention.

"Lys, wait!" He shouted, jumping off the bed and running towards the door. As I pulled the door open, he shoved it closed again with one hand, the other being placed the other side of me, trapping me between his arms. I spun round quickly, our bodies close as he searched for words to say whilst his eyes locked with mine. "You didn't deserve that, I'm so sorry. I know I keep apologising and making myself look like a dick but-" I put my finger to his mouth, silencing him where he stood. The mere touch causing sparks to shoot up my finger and cause it to tingle.

"It's fine, Luke. I forgive you."