Navya's diary page

With an ocean of bustle in my heart, I plod towards my room. A lump of guilt is choking my throat. Tears prick my eyes. Right now, my mind is clouded with fear and dilemma.

"If this is Navya's diary, how did it come to our house?"

I question my mind if I really don't know or I just want to pretend that I don't know. However, my Inner Goddess is pretty blunt.

"You are smart enough to guess."

She retorts. I still have the courage to dodge her hint.

"Yes, perhaps Bhai got it here."

I murmur while entering my room and silently close the door behind me.

"If he got, it perhaps wasn't kept in the storeroom. He is not that impassive."

My Inner God has a logical point. Bhai has never mentioned this diary to me. I sink into the easy chair kept in my balcony and with trembling hands open a page.

"Hello Diary,

Today I again met him. He is not that bad as I thought. Instead, he is quite funny. The way he was imitating the policeman, that was hilarious. Today I also came to know his name. Cabir Murthy. Navya, what is going on in your mind? Isn't it too early to like anyone? Well, I can't lie to my diary........

I like you Cabir."

She made a smiley after that line. I flip some pages and halt in a place. There is a heart made with red ink and some lines are written.

"Hello Diary,

For the first time, I am feeling shy to meet myself in front of the mirror. People say, first kiss feels like fire within bones and stream in the soul. However, I felt it like he made me alive with that touch on my lips. It was full of all the words that we didn't need to say. He kissed me and took all the worries away from my heart. Thanks Cabir."

Then she wrote a quote with two heart signs,

"And at that moment the world stopped spinning as your lips met mine and I forgot how to breathe..."

A face comes in front of my eyes. My first kiss with....My eyes burn. I forcefully push away Manik's face from my emotional fool mind and again start flipping the diary pages. Navya has written all important incidents and emotional feelings related to Bhai in a systematic way. How they met, how they became friends and then lovers. Their first date, first confession and first kiss. I turn some more pages and stop in a particular place. Navya has written,

"Hello Diary,

Today we were pretending to be the parents of our future baby. I know Cabir loves children. He said that when our child will be born, every day he will come at home with chocolate and toys. I even argued with him on this. I don't want my baby to be pampered and spoilt like this. But he is as stubborn as his Ajja. Should I tell him that Ajja called me. But what if he confronts his Ajja. I don't want any problem in his family because of me. But why Ajja is not trying to understand our love? What should I do now?"

After that, some pages are full of Ajja's name. How he was continuously keeping touch with Navya and how she was getting intimidating by him. I read all the pages and halts in a particular portion. The whole page has only a line,

"May you know, little one, that you were wished for, longed for, prayed for and will be forever loved."

The gap between my brows forms a V.

"Maybe she came to know about her pregnancy."

My mind concludes.

I quickly turn the remaining pages to discover more about this. But there is nothing more written in them. Instead, a photograph of Bhai and Navya are kept in between the last two pages of the diary. Both are giggling like kids while their foreheads are joined with each other. Unmindfully a smile creep on my lips. At a glance, anyone can say this picture is a symbol of pure love. I am about to place the photo in its previous place when I see some lines are written behind the picture. I start reading,

To my Madhubala...

"To know that I miss you

So much when you leave;

To know that I need you

Like the air that I breathe.

To know that I want you

With a passion so blind,

Is to know that I love you

With no doubt in my mind."

Your love...Cabir...

I shut the diary with a deep sigh. It is clear that Navya was very transparent  about her love for Bhai.

"Then what happened that made her leave her love in between?"

I mumble.

"It is clear that she knew Ajja and Ajja knew her. Both frequently had words. To be exact...had arguments on her love for Bhai. Did Ajja really responsible for her memory loss? Did he write that letter to Bhai to get them separated?"

I keep on blabbering.

"Don't do the same mistake which Manik did. It is true that Cabir's love is responsible for Navya's suffering but not Cabir himself. You can't come to the conclusion so soon and declare Ajja for this whole mishap before you get any strong evidence against him."

My logical mind holds the rush.

"But how? Who will tell me if Ajja was guilty or not?"

I restlessly leap up from the easy chair and chid. Suddenly something knocks at the closed door of my memories. Ajja told me something in his death bed. That time it seemed like a riddle to me. I rub my forehead to recall those words.

"Life is a.....Life is a... Shit I forgot."

I restlessly bang the balcony railing. All of a sudden, the closed door of my memories opens.

"Life is a Boomerang."

Yes, he said exactly this. That time I didn't fathom those words but today it is as clear as water to me. Actually, Ajja was trying to say that, "Life is a Boomerang. What you give, you get."

"Why did he say that?"

I thoughtfully utter.

"To know that you have to find out what he gave to life and what he ultimately received."

My Inner God echoes in my head.

..................................................................

"After that? What happened after that, Madhu? What did Ajja tell you?"

Cabir's eager tone reaches our ears.

Navya: "Nothing new. That day we were meeting for the first time. Face to face. I recognised him as you showed me his picture on your phone. With fear and hope, I opened the door. That day I was determined to convince him. For that, if I had to reveal my pregnancy news, I was ready for that. I showed him my diary that I never showed anyone.Not even to you. Our photograph and your poem written for me. I wanted to prove how much we love each other. I thought it worked because Ajja started a bit differently unlike the other days. But I was so wrong. Until then, he always tried to push me away from you. But that day he told me that you will never accept me against his will. If you do so, he will disown you. But I had complete trust in you and our love. I knew that you can leave anything for me. I told him that we don't need his property, name and possessions. I also told him that we will bring up our child without his support. But I can't leave you at any cost. He caught my hint and asked if I am expecting. I didn't deny. He further enquired if you know about this. When I told him that I haven't told you yet and tomorrow I am going to tell you, he yelled at me. He said that he doesn't believe that it is his great-grandchild because he doesn't trust my character."

We can hear Navya's sobbing. I put my foot forward to enter the room but again Mukti yanks my arm. I hear Cabir's stupefied voice,

Cabir: "After that...?"

Navya: (In a chocked voice) "He even blamed me that a girl like me can never be Murthy family's daughter-in-law who doesn't know the limit of her dignity. A girl who can get pregnant before marriage doesn't have any respect for the reputation of her family. Similarly, she can't respect her in-law's dignity. Even you won't trust me whether this child is yours as you are very orthodox in these matters. He told me to abort the child and leave the city. He even offered me money for this. Till then, I lost my patience because he was questioning my character and dignity. I told him to leave and also gave an ultimatum that I will tell all these things to you. That moment I was too agitated to think even about Ajja's respect and age. I yelled at him and swore that I will expose him in front of you. I will tell you how your grandfather abused our relationship, me and my motherhood. I even said that he doesn't have any worth being called a gentleman because he doesn't know how to respect a girl. I think that was enough for him to tolerate. He slapped me. I was not ready for it. I lost my balance and collided with the dining table. The corner of the table hit my lower abdomen. I sat on the chair, clutching my belly. Ajja picked the diary without turning at me and headed to the door. Before exiting he only said that he was right to judge me and if I don't leave the city at once he won't spare me and my brother. Until then, I started feeling excruciating pain in my lower abdomen. I fell from the chair and stretched my hand to stop Ajja...I screamed, Ajja, save my baby...your blood. But my scream got lost in the sound of the thunder. It seemed that even God didn't want my baby to see this cruel world. Ajja left. He left leaving me behind, crying, writhing in pain, searching and screaming for help."

Navya breaks in tears. Warm salty water rolls down my eyes. I fist my hair to control my pain. Navya continues,

Navya: "But I still had hope. I still had a hope to save my baby. I tried to call you but due to bad weather, your number didn't get connected. Until then, I started bleeding but somehow, I came out of our house and tried to stop a taxi. I desperately wanted to reach for medical help. But unfortunately, no one was there to save me. I kept on screaming in pain and at last, I fainted. After that, I don't know. I don't know how long I was lying on the road like a dead body. When I gained my sense, I was in a hospital and Manik Bhai was with me. I lost my child, my love and my memory that night. I only could remember your words that you will never leave me. Perhaps that was the only force to continue my life. Your love was the only hope to keep me alive, Cabir. Don't leave me again. I will die..."

She breaks down in tears. I can't control myself anymore and remove the curtain to shove in. A heart-melting sight invites me. Navya and Cabir are engulfing each other in a soul-soothing hug. Both are crying like two shattered souls. Navya is pushing herself to Cabir as she wants to dissolve in him. On the other hand, Cabir is continuously snogging on her head and blabbering,

"Never....I will never leave you. You are my Madhubala...my life. I won't let you die....never."

Author's note: Some more secrets will reveal and Nandini will take a firm decision. After Cavya, will Manan reunite? To know, stay tuned. 🙏❤