With an ambivalent heart, I take the folded paper. There is moonshine everywhere. Still, it is not enough to read a letter. I strain my eyes to get through the letters. Nandini halts my struggle.

"You can sit in my car and read because I don't want you to assume anything further."

The sarcasm is evident in her words. I ignore. She has every right to be rude.

"You can also come. It's quite late and you are alo..."

I stop myself abruptly. I probably have lost the right to even care for her. Nandini keeps quiet for a moment and gets up. We near to the car and get inside. Suddenly I feel an awkwardness which I was not feeling outside. We are sitting in a close distance, inside a closed surrounding. The scenario is familiar but the circumstance is different. Sometimes emotional distance makes us awkward even to our loved ones. She slides the button and switches on the car light. I hesitantly unfold the paper. It is a medium length letter written with trembling handwriting. I carefully start to read each and every letter. It shouldn't take more than 10 minutes to finish it. However, it took almost half an hour because I was reading every line more than once. I was trying to grok Ajja's every feeling which is reflecting in this paper. As I eventually finish the letter, a sigh of despondency let out my nostrils. Nandini was gazing outside all the time. Now, she mouths composedly,

"Ajja was wrong. He did an irreversible mistake but he was never intended to harm Navya. He could be the incidental reason for the death of her baby but he never wanted that. I know I may sound bias but I am not. If he had been any other person my opinion would have been the same. Perhaps that is the reason Ajja wrote this letter to me and not to any other. Perhaps he knew that I will try to understand him. I will at least listen to him. Perhaps he hoped that I will try to rectify his mistake which he couldn't do."

She pauses for a second. I can't see her face but I can feel that she is in tears. She continues,

"Sometimes we become the biggest fool. To save one person we actually ruin several lives. Ajja loved Bhai and his love killed Bhai's love."

Her voice has despair and emptiness which jabs my heart. In a mirthless tone I mouth,

"Like my love for my sister killed your love. Nandini till now, whatever I have done to you was my anger and my urge to seek revenge. I knew that the fire of my vengeance will burn me too. Still, I dared to play with this fire. But I forgot that hatred and revenge can't bring back my sister's happiness. However, when I realised, it was too late. I already burnt my heaven and I already broke the castle of my love. I know it will sound too lame now but still, I want to say, if possible, forget me because I am not worthy of your forgiveness. I am not good enough for you. I may mend the materialistic damage in your life but what about the emotional damage?"

I keep quiet for a moment and gather my courage. Today I have to confess everything. Before leaving her forever I have to admit my every sin. I gulp the hesitation and mouth,

"You were right...I didn't make love to you that night instead I raped you. I wanted to feel the same what I assumed that Cabir might feel when he...."

I can't continue. My voice gets choked with disgust. I expected Nandini to turn at me after hearing this. Instead, she keeps on looking outside. But I can feel a tremor in her body. One of her hands reaches her belly and she exhales sharply.

"Thanx, Manik you said that. You made all things easy for me. And about forgiveness......I don't think I can even forgive myself to love you."

She turns at me and palely smiles.

"I lost myself in you and then I lost you."

Her whisper almost mingles in the air. The moon is still shining in the dark sky just to witness our unsaid goodbye.

....................................................

It is almost 2 am on the wall clock. Bhai and I are sitting on the terrace, staring at the starry sky just like our childhood. We decided to not sleep for the entire night. It was my plan because I want to spend as much time with Bhai before leaving. I have already booked my ticket for Brazil. Tomorrow afternoon I am leaving when Bhai won't be here. I don't know why have I chosen a completely unknown state to absquatulate? Maybe I want to be lost in a crowd where no one can recognise me and no one can make me remember my past. I have already signed the paper of my share of ELYSIAN and transferred it to Navya. Only one thing is left. I have to write a letter to Manik and Bhai and post it from an unknown place. So, that they can't guess the place where I could be. I look at Bhai. He seems very happy. At the dinner table, he told me everything about Navya. How she reacted to seeing him and finally how she regained her memory. I have shown him Ajja's letter and in reply, he only took a sigh. Perhaps this letter doesn't matter to him that much now. Bhai knows that Ajja did a mistake but now he is not here to rectify it. Sometimes letting go is the best way to heal a wound.

"Nandi, you remember..how we used to fight over those stars? We used to divide the star and possess them. Most of the time you fought over the claim on the North Star. You used to say it looks like Appa."

Bhai giggles. I smile remembering my immaturity.

"And you for the Ursa Major as you considered it as Amma...he...he.."

I reciprocate with the same teasing. Bhai leans backwards placing his hands behind him and mouths in a dreamy voice,

"Childhood is the best time. We can even find happiness in illusory things. What one loves in childhood stays in the heart forever."

I stretch my legs forward and hum,

"Hmmm....by the way, I have something more to revive those childhood memories. Wanna see?"

Bhai turns at me and frowns. He is looking like a desperate kid. My heart smiles.

"But for that, we have to go to my room. Here the light is not enough to see. Come.."

I get up and lend my hand to him. With a bright smile, Bhai grabs it and rises. Within 5 minutes we come to my room. Bhai restlessly sits on the bed and raises his brows. I nod with a smile and open the cupboard. That day when I found Navya's diary in the storeroom I found one more thing. I and Bhai's childhood photograph. I almost forgot about it. Appa clicked it when I was 3 and a half years. Ajja showed it to me. I don't know whether Bhai has ever seen it or not. But he will be excited to see it now. I take out the photograph from Navya's diary. I have to give it to Bhai as well. It belongs to them. I near at Bhai and forward the photograph. With a surprise glance at me, he takes it. For some minutes he keeps on staring at the picture. Gradually, an adoring smile appears on his lips. He softly utters,

"My cute little Nandi. Where did you find it? I almost forgot about this picture. Perhaps Appa clicked it. Wait...I have a plan."

He hastily reaches my study table and lifts the photo frame where I have the photographs of Bhai and me.

He carefully removes one and replaces it with the new one. His eyes are beaming with childish enthusiasm. I grin to see his kiddish antic.

"Now, it is perfect. You, me and our childhood memories."

His words bring tears to my eyes.

"Bhai, very soon I will be a memory too. I don't want but I have no other option."

My heart wrenches with these unsaid words. Bhai's eyes fall on my face. His eyes have mirth. He nears me and affectionately cups my cheeks.

"Nandi, can't we give our life a second chance? A new start? Can't you forgive Ma..."

I don't give him a chance to complete his words. I don't want to complicate all things by telling him a No.

"Bhai, I have something more to give you. A very precious thing for you and Navya."

He quizzically looks at me. I take out the diary from the cupboard and pass it to him. With bafflement, he takes it and opens the pages. I tenderly mouths,

"Not everyone remains lucky to have a second chance in their life. Some things are destined to be. We want or not."

Author's note: Will Nandini leave Manik and Cabir forever or Cabir will stop her? What will she write in her last letter to them? To know all these, keep reading. 😊❤❤