Magnus leaned on his balcony railing, sipping at his cup of tea in silence. He had dreamed of her again that night, except this time, her face was no longer a blur. Mina's wild eyes, the arrow protruding from her bleeding shoulder, her pained and terrified screams tore him from the inside out and it hurt even more this time. He still crawled to her with more desperation than ever before, but he still fell short, his fingers just barely brushing her hand before she was torn away from him and he startled awake.

He had cried alone for most of the previous day, and he cried again when he woke up that morning. He'd buried his head in his arms and sobbed until his throat was raw and he couldn't breathe anymore. He didn't know how else to express the newfound agony that pierced him through his bones and into the very fabric of his soul. He felt as if his entire foundation, which was already fragile, had collapsed from under him, leaving him grasping for something—anything—to hang onto. If he couldn't even trust his own memories and the people closest to him, what did he have left? Could he even trust his own senses or would that betray him too?

He ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the roots. He knew the last thing he needed to do was push everyone away, but he didn't know how to approach it. Every time he tried to piece the words together, they always seemed to fall apart.

He glanced at the door, knowing Sylvan was just outside, waiting as always. His guard had definitely heard his sobs all day and all night, no doubt aching inside as well. Magnus sighed, stepping back inside the room and shutting the balcony door behind him. Sylvan had his reasons for not telling him, he supposed. Mina too.

Sylvan was slumped in a sitting room chair, nodding off with his head in his hand. As soon as he heard the door, he shot to attention, his eyes wide.

"Magnus," he gasped.

Magnus gestured him inside and Sylvan didn't hesitate to follow after.

"How are you feeling?" Sylvan asked carefully, not taking his eyes off of him.

Magnus sat on the edge of his bed. "Better than yesterday, I suppose, but that's not saying much."

Sylvan approached slowly. "Magnus, I would have told you if I could, but I was worried...I didn't want...I thought..." he sighed. "Your mind was left in such a fragile state after, and I didn't know how to tell you without triggering some kind of worse reaction."

Magnus stared off at a wall without a word, his jaw clenched and his eyebrows furrowed. He took in each of Sylvan's words, turning them over in his mind and feeling the weight of them.

"I know I'm making excuses, and I'm sorry for hurting you," Sylvan murmured. "I only wanted to protect you."

"Like you always have been," Magnus finally spoke, his voice soft and hoarse. He shut his eyes, feeling the pain and tension starting to seep out of his body.

Sylvan shook his head, his eyes falling to the floor. "I was...no, I am a coward. I've seen how he hurts you, and I've done nothing to stop it, even now."

"Don't blame yourself," Magnus said gently. "It's not in your control."

"But maybe if I tried, if I spoke up, if I really fought..."

"Then, he'd get rid of you and replace you with someone else," Magnus stated bluntly. "I need you, Sylv, and I need you to stay."

Sylvan looked up, his green eyes brighter. "I will."

Magnus sucked in a breath. "So where does the blame fall now that the secret is out? With you or with her or with all of us?"

Sylvan frowned. "We all go down together, then."

Magnus twisted the hem of his shirt around his finger. "I'm surprised he hasn't recognized Mina yet."

"He's hurt too many to care to remember each of them. But I'm sure he would if someone reminded him."

"Then we can't let anyone know. The secret has to stay with the three of us." Magnus shook his head. "I almost died to save her, and I thought I failed. I won't lose her again."

Sylvan pursed his lips. "She's known the whole time about what happened."

"And?"

Sylvan thought over his words carefully. "If she's known all along, then her presence here isn't just chance. It was a choice."

Magnus frowned. "For what? A plot against me?"

"Against you or against your father. Either way, she could easily come after you."

"Not Mina. She wouldn't."

Sylvan's eyes narrowed. "Magnus, with all due respect, I think you should let her go."

"Sylvan—"

"I thought we agreed we wouldn't play games anymore if someone seems suspicious or threatening. I won't have you risk your life again."

Magnus shook his head. "This is different."

"Tell me, how?" Sylvan paused, staring deeply at Magnus. "Because you love her?"

Magnus opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. It was true, wasn't it? So why did he struggle to admit it? Even now, he knew he was lying to himself. Sylvan had a point; despite Magnus's most hopeful wishes, she could just be another person trying to play with him. But he was so certain she was different. He felt it in his gut every time he saw her. Or maybe it was just his heart trying to supercede his brain. Maybe he just loved the idea of her, that he had blinded himself to the danger peeking through the cracks in her armor. But still, still...

"Yes, I do," Magnus breathed, his voice barely audible. "Like no other. And I already know how badly she could hurt me if she wanted to."

Sylvan's gaze softened. "I'm sorry. I know how much hope you had in her."

Magnus frowned. "But we don't know anything for sure yet."

"So? Are we just going to wait around until something bad actually happens?"

"We might be waiting an awfully long time, then," Magnus commented, earning a frustrated look from Sylvan. "I'll talk to her."

"Do you think she'll be honest?" Sylvan shook his head. "She might be more cunning than you think."

Magnus sighed, standing up and making his way to his wardrobe to pick out clothes for the day. "That's why I need you."

Sylvan's hand fell to his sword hilt. "And if it really came down to it, do you think you could turn her in?"

Magnus's breath caught in his throat. "I've done it before," he responded, though the breaks of his voice betrayed him.

As he headed behind the curtain to change, he paused briefly. "Does it still smell like tea in here?"

Sylvan inhaled. "Yeah, why?"

Magnus pulled on his coat. "I'll be in the garden. If she comes by, tell her to meet me outside."