I saw her sitting on a picnic blanket, on the same spot where we first met. She was surrounded with beautiful flowers of different types—glowing like her.

Napangiti agad siya nang nakita niya ko.

Her smile completes me like it was the last piece in my jigsaw puzzle.

"Kanina ka pa?" I asked.

She quickly nods her head, "Lagi naman akong nandito."

I gaze at her. As I noticed, she's still wearing the same clothes; a plain crimson red dress. Pinagtataka ko lang kung bakit sya nakayapak even if she's wearing such fascinating dress.

I sat comfortably beside her. I feel like she's real or maybe it is me who isn't real anymore. It's just weird to always dream about this place, to dream about her every night.

"Bakit?" She suddenly asked, her voice sounded like drops of petals on the floor, too soft to comprehend.

"Wala. Ang weird lang kasi." I answered as I lock gaze with her.

"Anong weird? Ako ba?"

"Ha? Hinde. Nakakapagtaka lang kasi. Lagi kitang napapanaginipan at the same place and exact time." I explained as I watch confusion falls upon her eyes.

"So, you mean you're just dreaming?" She asked carefully.

Ayokong isipin nya na ang weirdo ko even though she's just a figure in my dream. I wanted to protect her, to cherish her like she was real.

I changed the topic for her sake, "Never mind. What's your name by the way?" I asked.

She smiled brightly like a fallen fragment from the afternoon sky.

She slowly parted her lips, then "I am—"

"Kiel?" I caught my cousin—Genesis—tapping me from the side.

"Ha?" I glared at him. Bad trip 'tong taong 'to.

"Kanina ka pa hinahanap sa ibaba," He said.

Oo nga pala, may malaking okasyon dito sa bahay. At naidlip lang ako sa kwarto ni Auntie sa sobrang pagod, we've travelled so far just to meet the other side of my family and Genesis is one of them.

Kahit ngayon lang kami nagkita, para bang nagakapalagyan na din kami ng loob. Mahilig kaming mag-basketball kaya madalas, ito na din ang bonding naming magpipinsan.

"Badtrip ka naman tol!" I scowled at him.

He just laughs at me.

"Bakit,nadistorbo ko ba date niyo?" he teased me again. Yeah, Genesis knows about her, I told him for the third times—I guess?

"Sasabihin na sana niya ang pangalan niya, pero ginising mo akong lintik ka. Nakakainis ka naman oh!" Kinuha ko ang isang unan sa tabi ko at ibinato sa kaniya, madali naman niyang nasalo.

"Tol, ano ka ba? Panaginip lang siya, di siya totoo. Parte lang siya ng malawak mong imahinasyon."

As I heard that, it just makes me more curious about what is real and what is not? Iba talaga eh, pagkasama ko siya, parang totoo lang ang lahat. Kapag kakausapin ko siya, kapag ngumingiti siya, kapag tititigan ko siya, nararamdaman ko, hindi lang siya basta isang panaginip.

Pero kapag bumabalik na ako sa reyalidad, nandoon ang takot ko na baka panaginip nga lang ang lahat—isang magandang panaginip.

"O 'di kaya Tol baliw ka na? Patingin ka kaya sa doctor." Pang aasar pa ulit ni Genesis.

"Siraulo!" I shouted at him as I threw another pillow at him. This time hindi niya nasalo 'yung unan kaya tinawanan ko siya.

"Ang bagal ng reflexes mo tol. Kaya natatalo tayo sa basketball pag kakampi kita eh." Ako naman ang nang-asar. Nakakarami na siya eh.

"Ang yabang natin ah?"

Suddenly, pumasok si Auntie sa kwarto namin.

'Ano? 'Di pa talaga kayo kakain?" She said a bit furious.

Medyo nakakatakot si Auntie pag hindi namin siya sinusunod, masyadong bungangera, kaya naman tumayo na agad kaming dalawa.

***

After we had dinner, I've decided to go upstair to sleep again. Oo, antukin ako. That's why I often dream a lot. Another reason why I wanted to sleep again is because of that mysterious girl in my dream. Gusto ko siyang makita ulit.

I closed my eyes and it didn't take me long bago ako makapasok sa dream world.

I immediately saw her, standing alone at the edge of the cliff. Somehow it was good pero it's still quite creepy na lagi syang nasa panaginip ko.

Lumapit agad ako sa kaniya, "Teka, anong gagawin mo?" I asked her with tension in my voice.

Napalingon siya, bumungad sa akin ang maamo niyang mukha, she's actually like an angel without wings, kasunod nito ang pag-ngiti niya pero panandalian lang 'yon dahil bumalik ulit ang pagtanaw niya sa may bangin na nasa harapan niya. This time, I came closer to her to know what she's looking at.

"Hindi mo ba nararamdaman?" she asked. I can sense the loneliness beyond her voice. It seems like she was lack of hope—but the question here is, hope in what? I look at her with full of curiosity and put my sight back to the deep cliff. Nararamdaman? All I can feel is fear—fear from death, the moment I would make a wrong step.

"Something is pulling me down and kept telling me that it's time to go now." She lowered her voice but still enough to hear.

I honestly don't get it; pero may isang bagay ang pumasok sa isipan ko, na pwedeng magpagaan sa kaniyang kalooban. "Sabi nila, magagawa mo daw ang kahit ano kapag nananaginip ka!" Hindi ko alam kung saang ideya ko ba napulot ang mga sinabi ko but I am afraid na ma-offend ko siya.

"P-panaginip?" She asked dumbly na para bang kahit siya di naniniwala na nasa loob siya ng panaginip ko.

"Ayoko man paniwalaan, pero—sana totoo ka na lang." I sincerely told her.

But who knows na mas nagulat ako sa sunod niyang ginawa, humarap at lumapit siya sa akin. She puts her right hand upon my face. And it is the weirdest thing I've ever felt, dama ko ang bawat paghaplos niya, pero papaano?

"Totoo naman ako ah? I know you can feel me, even I didn't know how. But I thank God you came. Dahil sayo, nararamdaman ko pa ang sarili ko," she smiled at me and holds my hand.

After that, everything was changed, the place, the scenario, her mood—everything! And it feels so good.

Magandang tanawin, preskong hangin at iba't ibang kulay na mga paro-paro ang siyang nakikipag laro sa amin.

"Nasaan tayo?" I asked her again.

"Sabi mo, sa panaginip, magagawa natin ang lahat. Kaya ito, with the help of my imagination napunta tayo dito." She explained as she giggled.

"Huh? Pwede ba 'yon? Hindi ba't panaginip ko 'to?" I wondered, but she giggled first before she gave me an answer, "Hindi ko din alam, pero gusto ko itong weird na nangyayare sa atin ngayon. It's making me feel alive!"

"W-wait, don't tell me—you're dead?"

"Dead—nagbibiro ka ba? Mukha ba akong patay sayo?" she pouted as she rolled her eyes on me—and d*mn!, she so cute.

"Of course not, that's impossible! You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen during my sleep."

We laughed together after realizing that everything that is going on between us was just a part of my wild dream.

"I'm Ezekiel by the way. Kiel ang nickname ko." Finally I introduced myself to her.

Yeah, I know this is so wrong and it is not normal to meet someone in your dreams. Maybe Genesis was right. Baka nga baliw na ko. Maybe I'm a guy who's trapped in a world that isn't real. But somehow, if I could choose I'd rather stay beside this girl than to be a part of the real world na puno mga negatibong bagay.

"Ang ganda naman ng pangalan mo." She complimented. "Bagay sa'yo," she added.

I gave her a wide smile. She smiled back and it seems that the entire world lay stretched before us like the openness of her smile.

"It's almost time," she said.

I gave her a puzzled look.

"Aalis ka na naman?"

A moon suddenly appeared like a new-stamped coin, riding triumphant in the sky.

It was an indication that I'm almost awake.

I frowned at her.

"Oh, bakit ka nakasimangot?" tanong niya with a thoughtful look in her eyes.

"Honestly, ayoko ng magising." I stated looking away from her.

She didn't respond which I know is odd. Hinintay kong may sabihin siya but she kept her mouth shut.

"Ok ka lang?" I asked her.

Tumingin siya sa akin and I was surprised as tears glistened on both edges of her eyes.

"Alam mo ba wala na kong ibang hiniling kung hindi ang magising? I wanted to wake up again." She said with her voice as low as the sea.

Lalo akong naguluhan sa sinabi nya. I still want to ask her something but unfortunately nagising na ko.

Sayang, I didn't ask her name again. If only I could sleep all day. Gagawin ko talaga 'yun.

I saw Genesis all dressed up.

"Oh? Saan ang lakad mo tol?" Tanong ko habang inaayos niya 'yung mga gamit niya.

"Bibisitahin ko 'yung kaibigan ko." He answered.

'Diba may laro pa tayo?" I asked as I stood up slowly from my bed.

"Tol, sorry cancel muna natin. Mas mahalaga 'tong pupuntahan ko." Isinukbit na niya 'yung bag niya.

"Makikipag date ka lang eh." Pang aasar ko pa.

"Loko, nakaconfine sa ospital 'yung kaibigan ko. Paanong makikipag date? Mabuti pa matulog ka na lang ulit dyan at makipag date ka sa imaginary girlfriend mo." He left instantly. Hindi tuloy ako nakabawi sa sinabi nya.

Loko 'yun ah? Ang sakit mag salita.

Biglang pumasok si Miriam—pinsan ko rin—sa kwarto, only to find a book in the book shelf entitled Lucid Dreaming. Nakuha agad nito 'yung atensyon ko.

"Uhm, excuse me." I approached her before she even comes out of the door. Lumingon naman agad siya and waited for what I wanted to tell her.

"What is lucid dream?" out of curiosity I asked.

She smirked at me sabay sandal sa pader na malapit sa pinto.

"Lucid dreaming, it's when you can manipulate your dream." She answered.

I nodded my head. "What if kaya kong ituloy 'yung panaginip ko?" I asked again.

"Lucid dreaming pa rin. As what I said, it's manipulating your dreams."

I gave her a quick smile. "Sige, thank you Miriam."

She smiled back and left the room.

Could it be that I'm just manipulating my dream this whole time? I wish I wasn't that desperate. But what if I'm not really manipulating it? What if it's really happening? Is it possible?

My head hurts from over-thinking. Pero sabi niya sa'kin she wanted to wake up too. What if she's a lost girl trapped inside the dream world? What if my dream isn't just my dream? What if we're both sharing the same dream?

No! Enough. It's not helping me. Maybe I'm just over thinking.

I grabbed my breakfast and went straight to my laptop. I searched and searched things about lucid dreaming but unfortunately there's no case that was the same as mine.

This is depressing.

However, I ignored what I felt. Instead, tumulong na lang ako mag prepare for the pool party tonight.

Busy ang lahat sa foods, sounds, and everything that's needed.

I'm actually excited about the party but the only bad thing about it is I'm going to miss her the whole day. Overnight kasi 'yung party. I have a zero percent of sleeping tonight hanggang umaga for sure.

At exactly ten o'clock in the evening. All our relatives and guests arrived. I have to mingle with them somehow that's why I almost forgot the time. Nang mapatingin ako sa orasan it's pass midnight already.

When I was out of everybody's eyes, I get the chance to sneak into my room. Hoping na makatulog agad ako to meet her.

I closed my eyes just like what I always do. But this time, I failed to do so.

Insomnia? Seriously? Ngayon pa?

Bigla namang pumasok si Genesis habang nag ko-concentrate ako na makatulog.

Badtrip men.

"Anong ginagawa mo tol? Kung sa constipated, para kang 'di matae." Nakapang asar agad ang loko.

"I'm trying to sleep tol. Umalis ka na please."

"Ha?! Hindi ka makatulog? Tol, I don't want to be rude pero parang seryoso na 'yan. Patingin ka na kaya." He said as he drops his self beside me.

"Ang lakas mo mang-asar no? Huwag kang mag alala pa-paconsult na ko bukas para matahimik ka na."

Akala ko mag re-respond pa ang loko pero tulog na pala sya. Ang bilis ah? Baka naman ninakaw nitong lalaking 'to 'yung tulog ko.

Hindi ko namalayan kung anong oras ako nakatulog but I knew I fell asleep ng madaling araw na.

I glanced at the clock on the wall. It's 7 am.

I can't remember my dream or maybe I didn't dream at all. I feel disappointed. Buong araw ko siyang gustong makita and it was my chance but it didn't happen.

"Ano? Napanaginipan mo ba ulit 'yung imaginary girlfriend mo?" Genesis asked me who's currently lying down beside me.

I didn't answer him. Hindi ako makapaniwala sa nangyari. I promise that I will see her soon but I failed to. Anong gagawin ko para makita ko siya? What else should I do when all I know is that there's only one way to be with her but I failed to do it.

"Hindi ako nanaginip tol." I told Genesis.

He sighs deeply. "Eto Tol, payong pinsan na 'to. Mag patingin ka na talaga."

Loko talaga 'tong taong 'to.

But I really want to see her. Hindi ko pa nga alam 'yung pangalan niya. Hindi ko pa alam 'yung paborito niyang kulay, yung paborito niyang pagkain. What makes her happy? What makes her feel terrible? I want to know her even more.

"Tol, tandaan mo. Panaginip lang talaga ang lahat." Genesis told me in way that really strikes me.

I don't want to believe in him. But what he said was true. I was fed up with my dreams, I almost forgot I was still living in the real world. I have to face my real word too.

We just went downstairs para kumain ng umagahan. While we're eating may tumawag kay Genesis as he came up. He suddenly wants me to hurry up.

"Tol, samahan mo ko please." Pangungulit niya.

"Ano ba 'yun?"

"Remember 'yung binisita kong kaibigan na nasa ospital? Tropa ko kasi 'yung kuya nun, eh may kailangan daw silang ayusin na papers para dun sa patient. He asked me favor na ako daw muna mag bantay kahit isang oras lang." Paliwanag nya.

"Eh di bantayan mo. Hindi ko naman kaibigan 'yun ah!" I said habang tuloy lang ako sa pagkain.

"Kiel sige na. Nakakatakot kasi magbantay."

"Gay much lang Tol?" I gobbled up my coffee and stood up.

Sumunod pa rin sa'kin ang loko.

'Kasi Tol unstable pa din 'yung kaibigan ko dahil sa aksidente. You know? Para na talaga siyang lantang gulay. Almost 6 months na siyang ganun." He even explained more, trying to convince me. "At nawawalan na ng pag-asa 'yung buo niyang pamilya." He sadly added. Kaya naman napa-Oo na din ako, gasino lang naman ang makisimpatya.

"O sya sige. But promise me, hindi mo na ko kukulitin tungkol dun sa babaeng na sa panaginip ko ha? Medyo nakakapikon din kase."

Matatawa pa sana siya sa paliwanag ko, pero pinandilatan ko siya. Mukha namang he takes it seriously that's why he chose to keep silent and simply nodded his head.

"Oh ano tara na? Prepare ka na."

"Okay." Then I went upstair to get ready.

After half an hour, we're ready to go na din. We borrowed my auntie's car and we drive all the way to the hospital. Sabi ni Genesis, isang oras daw ang byahe mula doon sa hospital na pupuntahan namin. To travel that far makes me more excited because I could fall sleep, antukin talaga ako pagdating sa byahe. Kaya 100 % sure na matutulog ako.

I am so happy di ako binigo ng tinatawag ng lahat, panaginip.

But my excitement turns into sadness like all the excitement drained like water on the sink, I couldn't find her. She should be here by now. I can see it; the place where we used to meet. Naglakad pa ako papunta sa mga lugar kung saan ko siya madalas makita—kung saan kami madalas magka-usap, but she still not there, not even a glimpse of her. Para akong masisiraan kapag iisipin kong tapos na ang panaginip ko patungkol sa kaniya. No! It can't be—I want her. Then words popped-in into my mind—Lucid dream. Right, kung isa nga itong lucid dream, they say I can do whatever I want. And I want her to be here right now.

Unseeing her presence in my own dream makes me discouraged. Mas malala pa ito sa totoong mundong kinabibilangan ko.

I kneel down hopelessly, witnessing the changes of the surrounding where I sat. The sunrise, the sunset, the rainy days, the sunny days and windy days—they keep coming spontaneously and at the same time, those memories I have with her kept flashing back within the back of my mind.

"I really wanted to see you, please... let me see you." As I poured out my emotion, everything that is moving suddenly stops. Isang pamilyar na amoy ang nagpaangat sa ulo ko, ang amoy na iyon—hindi ako pwedeng magkamali. I saw her walking away from me, gustuhin ko man siyang tawagin pero I can't—I still didn't know her name or kung may pangalan man siya.

I stood up, and decided to follow her. Kung ang pagsunod sa kaniya ang magiging dahilan nang hindi ko paggising, okay lang—susundan ko pa din siya.

But the more I come closer to her the more she gets far. Hanggang sa dumako ang mga paa niya sa isang magarbong pintuan, na obviously made up of porcelain and gemstone. I don't know kung anong meron doon, pero binukasan niya ito. Lumingon pa siya sa akin and I could say I saw a beautiful angel without her wings.

Her smile makes my heart melt, she always complete me. Pero may sinabi siya na hindi ko naman marinig, "Ha? A-anong sabi mo?" I asked her. This time nagagawa ko nang lumapit sa kaniya.

But still I can't hear what she was trying to say—I kept coming closer to her.

But this time I can clearly hear her voice now "Paalam Ezekiel... It's time to go now."

Out of my overflowing mixed emotions from what she said, agad akong sumagot sa kaniya, "No! Hindi pwede! I'd rather stay here and be with you than to go back in my miserable real world." I'm about to cry as I pleased her. But she smiled and stared at me as if that would be our last moment together,"I do believe magkikita pa tayo, di man dito—maybe in other time kung saan hndi na magiging limitado ang mga bagay-bagay sa atin. Ezekiel, you're my sweetest dream I've ever had." She explained, maybe to give me hope.

Ang mawala siya nang tuluyan? Pero hindi ko naman iyon nakikitaan ng panibagong pag-asa kagaya ng sinasabi niya.

"Huwag!" I shouted. Ang lakad na ginagawa ko kanina ay nagiging takbo na, I'm trying to stop and pull her back—but it's too late.

"Bye Ezekiel." Nilamon siya ng nakakasilaw na liwanag at kahit ako ay napahinto at napapikit. And when I opened my eyes, she disappeared.

The girl in my dream has totally vanished into thin air.

I wondered what is behind that door, kahit kinakabahan. Nag desisyon akong sumunod pa din sa kanya kagaya ng sinabi ko sa sarili ko kanina, I'll follow her no matter what. Kahit ang kapalit nito ay ang pagkakatulog ko for the rest of my life.

I grabbed the door knob, huminga muna ako ng malalim before I've decide to step forward. Yes—I am ready sa kung anuman ang posibleng mangyare. Nakakasilaw na liwanag ang bumalot sa akin as I take the first step papasok sa pinto—

"Ezekiel, we're here."

Bumungad sa akin ang mukha ni Genesis. Don't tell me, I'm already awakened—that I lost her forever. Isipin ko pa lang iyon, hindi na ako natutuwa. Ayoko namang ibuhos ang pagkadismaya ko kay Genesis, dahil wala naman itong kinalaman sa mga nangyayare sa akin. I simply nodded and gave him a cold smile.

"tol? Ayos ka lang? Naistorbo 'ata kita sa pagtulog mo." Worriedly he asked.

"Hindi—ayos lang ako."

"Kung gusto mo, dito ka na lang, hintayin mo na lang ako." He suggested. A suggestion that wants my mind to agree with but out of nowhere I chose to come with him instead of going back to my sleep.

"Don't worry, ayos lang talaga ako tol. Tara, pasok na tayo sa loob, baka hinihintay ka na nila."

Lumabas ako ng sasakyan, ganoon din siya.

We settled down on a chair habang hinihintay na dumating 'yung tropa ni Genesis for the takeover.

"Ayoko talaga sa ospital Tol. Thank you sinamahan mo ko." Genesis said.

I just smiled at him trying to show him that I'm okay but the truth is, my mind was about to explode. Hindi ko na maintindihan kung ano ba talagang gusto ko.

The whole hospital was silent as a sheeted dead. It's making me want to go home already.

Dumating na 'yung sinasabi ni Genesis na Kuya nung kaibigan niya. He introduced me to him and then they talk about something. He led us to the room then left us.

We're awkward as we entered the room. Para bang ipinasok kami sa loob ng morgue imbes na kwarto ng isang taong may sakit at kailangan lang ng company.

"Sabi sa'yo eh. Kaya ayokong magbantay mag-isa." Genesis uttered as if he heard what my mind just said.

It was a private room. Normal lang 'yung temperature ng room. Medyo malaki din ito para sa isang pasyente lamang. From where I'm standing I could clearly see na maraming apparatus ang nakakabit sa patient.

"Do you want to see her?" Alok ni Genesis. It was a bit creepy to look at someone whom you can also consider dead. Anxiety suddenly hung on my back like a yoke.

I nodded my head as we walk slowly towards her bed.

As we looked at her face a cold chill went down my spine.

I couldn't believe what I'm seeing.

I was in a tension like a drawn bow. I don't know when I should release what I'm feeling right now.

The girl in front of me was the girl in my dream.

Sigurado ako. I can't be wrong. All the time that I'm with her, I was sure this was the face I'm always seeing.

I was trembling; my tears are tempting to fall. I just can't believe she's real all these time. I knew she was real. I'm not crazy, hindi ako nasisiraan ng bait.

I slowly held her face.

"Uh, Tol? Anong ginagawa mo?" Genesis asked looking at me puzzled.

I sniffed and wiped my tears.

"What happened to her?" I asked.

He looks at me suspiciously but told me what happened anyway.

"It was during her birthday, naaksidente siya nun while driving her car. Nawalan kasi ng break 'yung kotse nya, since that day hindi na siya nagising." Genesis explained.

I suddenly remembered that time when I witnessed an accident.

Wait—could it be?

"'Yung kotse niya ba ay White na Montero?" confusingly I asked.

Gulat na tumango si Genesis.

My muscle chest tensed.

"I've witnessed that accident. I was the one who called the emergency service." I stated.

I didn't see the face of the girl nung dumating na 'yung ambulance but I remembered that she's wearing a red dress too, and she's not wearing any shoes. That makes sense, hindi ka pwedeng mag drive kung naka heels ka, she must have removed it.

"Wait, kilala mo na si Sylpha?" He asked like he can't connect the dots I'm making.

I knew her. I've met her in my dreams. I knew she's real; when she laughs, when she talks. I knew everything about her was real.

I held her hands and it was cold as a white rose. It was the same skin I've felt when she touched my face. It's the sensation that haunts me. I feel it even if I'm awake.

My tears began to fall. I was overwhelmed. Wala akong pakealam kung nakatingin man sa'kin si Genesis. I was so sure that she bid goodbye to me. I was sure she left me. Wala akong magawa pero ngayon, hindi ko hahayaan na mawala pa ulit siya.

"Sylpha?" I said through my crying voice.

I can feel her breathing.

I looked at her face and it was pale as a porcelain doll. Bakas pa rin ang ilang sugat sa mukha nya although naghilom na rin ang iba.

"Sylpha..." I looked at her carefully. I don't want to lose her again

I was startled when her eyelids flutter. Slowly it opened revealing a half veiled eyes due to her sleepy tears. There were no confusion in her eyes. She looks at me like her eyes was smiling.

My chest constricts. I was able to lock stares with her.

Her lips slowly move.

"E-ezekiel?" she whispered.

And the smile she softly uses fills the silence like a speech.

***

Finn

051616

By:

NoMoreLongface & Yhin2x