I went home and tried to fall asleep, all the while internally freaking out over what had happened. I finally fell asleep and was dreaming away. Oddly enough, I always dreamed about being a spy. It's weird, but I think I must have some hidden hero complex or something. In the middle of decoding a Russian transcript, I was taken back to reality. It was six thirty, and I didn't have to get to the studio until nine. I realized it was a knock at the door waking me up. I put on my robe and opened the door. It was Benji and he had a face I'd seen once before. His eyes were serious and he looked tired; my memories drifted. When we had broken up, before we became friends again, Benji had given me the same sad eyes that made my heart stop.

"Ben," I said. "What's up? Aren't you supposed to be at the studio recording?" 

"The producer is running late, so I have the morning off. I was thinking we could grab some coffee." 

I nodded and looked down. I thought about saying no, but he looked so serious that I knew I needed to talk to Ben. He had once been my Ben, and I still cared about him  

"I need a shower," I said. "I'll be ready in ten minutes."  

He nodded. Twelve minutes later we were out the door walking down to a nearby Starbucks. The paparazzi took some pictures but weren't too interested since Benji was just a drummer. Joel got stalked so frequently he had become accustomed to it and even knew some of the photographer's names. Benji put his arm in my arm, and I allowed the friendly gesture. I was still single, and he was an old friend.

"So, we're taking a break from recording on Friday to perform on Ellen," Benji said. "Joel said I can invite you; I know you love Ellen." 

I smiled and said I would. 

"Are you okay, Ben? You seem down today. What's going on?" 

He shook his head.  

"I know you don't take me seriously anymore," he said. "I've screwed it up a lot. I've said things I didn't mean and my word has become cheap. But I actually came to the club last night to talk to you. I wanted to tell you that I love you and I want to take a real chance on us. Then I saw that guy flirting with you and touching you, and I just knew it. I blew my chance."  

"I don't know what to say," I said. "You really want to get back together? That wasn't some jealous tantrum?"  

We had reached the Starbucks and stood outside now.

"I've changed, Stephanie. I have been with lots of women, and not one is as smart or kind as you. They all just want my money or some fame. But you and I just work; we can talk and be ourselves. Does pretty boy know we still talk every night?" 

I shook my head. No one knew actually; most nights we'd fall asleep talking to each other about stupid things.

"I don't know what to say," I replied.  

I didn't know what to believe either. If I actually believed Benji, we'd be together. After all, he was my best guy friend and a ridiculously hot drummer as well. We had been special together, so much that I didn't date anyone since him. Benji just nodded and leaned in to kiss me. I didn't stop him. Just as I remembered why I loved kissing Benji, I heard the sound of cameras clicking. I pushed back , suddenly aware of the public around us. We went inside and had our coffee, talking about everything and nothing in particular.

"I wish you and Joel lived here in L.A." I said. "It's nice to chat in person. I miss the rest of the band too, you guys are way more fun than crazy actresses."  

"We might have to tour less often," Benji said. "Joel got offered a job on The Voice."  

I let out a scream, because I was excited. 

"Oh my God!" I said. "Does he want to do it? Who cares, I'll make him do it. I could meet Shakira!" Benji laughed and put his hand on mine. I let it stay, remembering the feel of his fingers. 

"Joel would get paid a ton of money, the record label wants him to do it, and he would be promoting the band." Benji said. "Plus he'd get to see Angie more, so I'm pretty sure he will take the gig. But I can't tell you which coach he's replacing; he doesn't even know."  

I sighed, feeling curious all of a sudden.

"So you would also stay in LA while the show was being filmed?" I asked. He just nodded. I glanced at him, realizing how much I really missed those Aussie eyes and friendly smile.  

"Benji," I said. "I would love it if you were around LA more, I really would. But I just don't know what to think about us. I will always care about you, but I just don't know if I can trust you. And I can't imagine if we broke up again; I don't want to lose my friend."  

"I know," Benji said. "I don't know how to make up for what happened before. You know me, and you know better than anyone how much I've changed." 

It was true, I did know that. Benji had been seeing a therapist and been working on being a better person; he had quit drinking and stopped hanging with the groupies. I still felt a little bit skeptical.

"I think I need some time to think," I said. "But for the record, I am really proud of you and it means a lot to me that you said all of those things. And this has been great." 

Benji just nodded and squeezed my hand. 

"Take your time, love," he said. "I am a very patient man."  

"Benji," I said. "I am sorry about the whole Jerry thing. If I had thought you were serious, I wouldn't have been dancing with some guy in front of you."  

Ben shrugged nonchalantly.  

"I know you like the pretty boy," he said. "I don't really have a right to stop you from doing anything with anyone. But he is not a good guy, Stephanie. As a former Player, I recognize his type. I don't want you to get hurt."  

"Thanks for the concern," I said. "But stop calling him pretty boy. It makes it seem like you're insecure, and you shouldn't be. You're a famous rock star, and it's not like you're hard to look at it."  

Benji grinned and kissed my cheek. 

"You think I'm sexy, don't you, love?"  

There was the smug guy I knew.  

"I didn't say that," I said chuckling.  

We walked out and I hugged him goodbye before I caught a cab.

My phone was buzzing and I saw Angie's name on the screen.  

"Hey," I said. "You are not going to believe what just happened?"  

"Did you make out with Benji in front of TMZ cameras? Because there are some serious pictures out there." 

I sighed. 

"I can't believe TMZ posted pictures of us," I said. " It must be a slow news day." Angie giggled, even though I wasn't very funny. I was guessing Joel was in the background. 

"Joel is going to kill Benji," she said. "But TMZ is freaking out because someone also sent them pictures of you and Jerry from last night. You guys weren't that close in real life, but it looks like you guys are having sex on the dance floor."  

"Wow," I said, blushing in the cab. "I guess I look like a total slut now. Thanks, paparazzi."

"Don't sweat it," Angie said. "You know how many times they've accused me of being pregnant. It's like, jeez, I go to taco bell sometimes! Stop zooming in on my stomach."  

I laughed, finding it humorous that anyone found Angie chubby ever. She was an avid runner and stayed a size four permanently. I was a happy size six, but that was practically a size 42 in Hollywood.  

"I know," I said. "Ben showed up this morning and told me that he has changed and that he loves me. You know how close we are, and I never really stopped loving him. That kiss was actually pretty innocent."  

"So what did you say to him? What about Jerry? Oh my God, when did your love life become more exciting than mine?"  

"Nothing is exciting," I said. "And you and Joel are nauseatingly adorable. But I told Ben I would think about getting back together, which I need to do. But first I have to go to work and deal with Evil Lacy and the other drama queens."  

"I'll meet you there, Stephanie! I am so stoked for my interview with Jerry!" 

"Oh no, I have to see Jerry," I said. "Ang, I like Jerry. And not just because he is a hot actor, but he is actually pretty cool. But Ben is... Well, he's Ben."

"I am biased towards Benji," Angie said. "But he did cheat on you, and you were devastated. Jerry seems nice, but he was with Lacy for a reason. I doubt he is actually just a wholesome guy who likes Harry Potter."  

"So I should just buy cats and die alone," I said. 

Angie laughed, but Joel said something about a nunnery in the background.  

"We'll have a girls night," she said. "Ice cream and girl talk, but then I have to come home to Joel. He gets cranky when we don't sleep in the same bed."  

"Too much information," I said. "See you today!" 

I hung up and stepped outside. Before I realized what was happening, flashes started blinding me. Voices of strangers filled my mind, asking me questions.

"I'm not famous!" I shouted, rolling my eyes. The TMZ guy, the ones who follow you with a camcorder and ask you awkward questions, was the only one who followed me into the outside of the studio. I glanced at them, glad I was having a good hair day. 

"Hey Stephanie," the cameraman said. "You've been busy haven't you?" 

"I'm a cosmetologist," I said. "I make celebrities pretty. That's a tough job."  

The man laughed and I smirked. 

"So what's your deal," he asked. "Are you dating Benji Winters or Jerry Jensen? Or are you just a party girl?"  

I shook my head. 

"Confidential information," I said. "Although I will go on record that Joel is still dating Angela, the blogger." 

The camera guy asked me if I saw any wedding bells in the future. I said no.  

"We saw you kissing Benji. Any comments? How does your brother feel?" 

"Joel wants to buy a gun," I said. "He is a good brother. And Ben is an old and dear friend, that's all you need to know. I got to get to work, ok?" 

He let me pass and smiled for some reason. I guess he is probably a nice guy just doing his job.