I drove myself home, crying like a baby on the car ride. My best friend waboyfriend and my boyfriend was lying about his location with some redhead. I was supposed to be his redhead. Lacy, well, who knew what fresh hell waited for me at my dream job tomorrow. When I came home alone, there were still three patient paparazzi outside my house.

Fan-freaking-tastic.

I got through the people and made it inside. I shut my windows tightly, threw on sweatpants, and grabbed the ice cream. I didn't stop to think, I just dove right in, no bowl necessary. God, if I kept being followed by photographers, I might have to stop eating garbage all the time.

My phone rang and I answered.

"What are you doing right now?" Angie said.  

I wiped my mouth.

"Nothing," I said, my mouth still full of ice cream. "Where were you today?"

"Stephanie, are you binge eating ice cream? What happened?"

"How did you know that?" I asked, looking around for hidden cameras.

"You have a specific shameful tone when you eat crap," she said. "Now, what happened?" At the sound of my best friend's voice, I just broke and started crying again.

"Benji...picture...redhead...lied to me..." I managed to get out between cries.

"Benji is not cheating on you,"she said. I sniffled.

"How do you know?" I asked.

"I don't know," Angie said. "But I just think he isn't."

"But he lied to me," I said. "Why would he do that? And the photos..."

"Yeah, because you've never been in a deceiving photo..."

"I didn't lie about it later," I said.

"Whatever," Angie said. "He is on his way there, so clean yourself up. I am stopping by later, we need to talk."

"Ok," I said. "Sounds good."  

I hung up and immediately stood up, cleaning up frantically. I grabbed a tissue and wiped my face. I was a total mess, that was for sure. A knock came at the door, and I went to answer it. I swing it open and Benji jumped in, escaping a few flashes.

"Tomorrow night, we should go to my hotel," he said. I just nodded as he kissed my forehead. I didn't know if there'd be a tomorrow night.

"So how was recording?" I asked, giving him one more chance to redeem himself and tell the truth.

"Good," he said, smiling. "I missed you Stephanie. Let's go to bed first, and talk later..." he kissed my neck and my temperature rose, but I couldn't forget. I needed answers.

"Benji, " I said. "We need to talk." He pulled back and rested his forehead on mine.

"Yes love," he said. "Speak your peace. Did someone punch you again?"

"No," I said. "No punching. But I talked to Joel, and a reporter who had some very strange photos of you. Why have you been lying to me?"

"Excuse me," Benji said. "Ok, Joel took off and had some stuff with Angie today. I didn't tell you because Joel asked me to keep it quiet, something is happening with him."

"And the girl," I said. "You said you were at the studio, but it was shut down. And then you spent time with some...some...well, who was she?"

"alright," Benji said. "I wasn't at the studio. I was working on...something. I am waiting for a contract to be confirmed and I couldn't talk about it. That girl is a songwriter, she was working with me."

"Are you leaving the band?" I asked.

"No," Benji said. "But I am doing a solo project. It's top secret."  

He had avoided the question of "who was she?" I let it slide.

"Ok," I said. "Why didn't you say so before? I can keep a secret."

"Because you've been so erratic lately," Benji said. "You're dirty dancing with strange men and having fights at work. I didn't want my career to be hindered because you accidentally got put up on YouTube."

"None of those things were my fault," I said. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do Stephanie," he said.

"So you just keep secrets from me because I am such a disaster that I'll screw up your life?" 

Benji shook his head.

"You're freaking out over nothing," Benji said. "I will tell you next time. You're right, I should have been honest. When the studio went out, I was sharing my songs with Sarah."

"So you trusted Sarah," I retorted.

"She is a songwriter," Benji said. "You don't consult me about art or stage makeup."

"So tell me, this Sarah, did you ever sleep with her when we weren't together?"

"I don't need to answer that," Benji said, his eyes distant. "I am not a criminal."

"Did you kiss her today," I said. "Is that the real reason you lied?"

"She came onto me," Benji said. "I turned her down."

"That should have been the first thing you said, Benji. Given our history, how can I trust you if you're not upfront with me?"

"Given our history," Benji said. "Either you recognize I've changed, or you don't, Stephanie. I cannot tell you everything I do and every place I go. And you can't freak out every time some woman throws herself at me, because it's a part of the job."

"God, that sounds difficult Benji. It must be hard for you."

"Stephanie, do you even trust me..."

"I thought I did," I said.  

We sat there, staring at each other. That was not the right thing to say, but it was honest. I didn't trust him.

"I love you Stephanie," He said quietly.

"I love you," I whispered. "But I just, I don't know right now..."

"What can I do to win your trust Stephanie? How do we fix this?"

"I don't know," I said. "Maybe we can't." Benji was clenching his jaw and his eyes were wet, making my hands shake. He walked over and kissed me, making me forget what had just happened seconds ago. He pulled apart and we both knew what it was, what we were feeling.

"Is this another goodbye?" I asked. Benji hugged me, not saying a word.

"I think so," Benji said. "I just...I can't do this..."

Benji turned around and slowly turned the doorknob.

"Stephanie, if you decide that you can trust me and have a real fresh start, call me. I love you, but I can't live my life trying to fix my old mistakes."

"I want to forget," I said. "I don't know how." 

Benji shook his head. He had given me a chance to prevent this, another fight, another breakup. But it was how it always ended, and this time was no different.

"Goodbye Love," he said. "I'll see you around."

I sat down and cried, lost in my own sorrows for a time. I couldn't move, except to get more ice cream. I just replayed the fight over and over again. About forty minutes later, I heard another knock. God, how I wished it was Benji. I opened the door to see Angie.

"Angie!" I cried. "I need some serious girl talk. I screwed everything up..."

"Sweetie, I am sure you have boy drama," she said. "We need to talk." The seriousness of her voice stopped me.

"Angie are you ok?" I asked. She smiled softly.

"I am great," she said. "And I want to hear about your boy stuff, but first I need to tell you what's going on. You're going to be an aunt."

"I am sorry, what do you mean?" I asked, trying to decipher her words.

"I am pregnant Stephanie," she said. "And there were two heartbeats."