"I am so happy!" I squeal, rattling Luke by his collars. Luke frowns, and gets out of my hold. Like really out. Like he actually went out of the changing room.

Ian laughs, "Who did ya bang last night?" I just give him a wide smile, and skip away. This morning, I woke up to find Julian on the floor. He must have rolled off the bed. When I picked him up, he sleepily mumbled Dylan, and kissed my mouth before passing out on my shoulder. That one little gesture itself had charged me with ten megavolts of electricity.

When I had gone to the backyard, to look for Comfort, he was gone. On taking the route via park, I saw him there, running after birds. I think he's been coming to my home, for quite some time. Sort of like, guarding my house at night. 

I was late for the practice, but Max managed to save me from Coach. So everything was pretty good. We all forced Luke to skip classes with us, and played hide-and-seek like kindergarteners in the old, abandoned, library behind school. 

It was mid-day when we got tired, and Alex suggested we should go to our classes and doze off. I had a physics class, separate from the others. 

I walk in the hallways, to see a guy laughing and kissing Julian's neck. What the fuck? My body freezes, and I see red. I punch the locker at my side, my knuckles splitting open. A girl standing nearby, drops her bag in fright. I take a deep, angry, breaths to calm down. Once I am sure I won't spilt anyone's skull open, I march to Julian.

"I need to talk to you," I say, my voice cold.

Julian turns to me, his face still bright from the affection from the other male. "Oh hey Dylan! Not now, I'm a little bu- oof!"

I grab Julian by his collar, and go outside. "Dylan stop. You're hurting me," Julian winces, digging his nails in my wrist. My speed slows down, and I loosen my grip but not enough for him to slip out.

"Would you calm down?" he pleads, squeezing my arm. I release him in front of my car.

"Crap! Your knuckles," Julian's eyes widen, and he lifts my hand to inspect closer. I snatch my hand away, fisting it so I don't do anything stupid.

"Is this about me, being affectionate with that guy?" Julian frowns at me. I look to my left, hearing the bell ring indicating classes have begun.

"Dylan, are you jealous?" 

My head snaps to Julian, who looks at me smugly. Like he was expecting this. My teeth grind together, as I force myself to not hit something, just so I could get rid of this uncomfortable tightness in my chest.

"Why are you jealous Dylan?" Julian continues. "It's not like we're exclusive or dating, right? We're just kissing buddies, with blow-jobs and hand-jobs. That doesn't-"

"The deal is off." 

Julian's eyebrows raise up. "What?" 

"The deal is off. I'm ready to date girls. I've always been ready to date girls. I don't know what happened with you, but I don't plan to explore it further. I hope we can keep what happened, between us." My voice is emotionless, blank, crisp. I leave Julian looking shell-shocked, like he couldn't believe the turn of events, and get into my car. 

It's mid-day, but the gatekeeper allows me to slip by. Since we have evening practices, and morning practices, the boys and I, are good friends with that man. Such good friends, that we've invited him to our parties and gotten hammered together.

"Is he with you? Do you want me to let him go too?" he asks crouching down to look inside my car. I see Julian running towards my car.

"He's not my friend. If possible, punch him for me," I reply and drive out. Julian and the gatekeeper are angrily arguing, when I take the turn to go next town. The long drive helped me calm down, and assure myself I was doing the right thing. The last thing I want, is to get in some messed up situation. And by the intensity of my feelings, Julian and I are bound to get messed up. I text Max how I'm not feeling well, and I won't be coming to practice tomorrow. 

Three Cheers is open and bustling with life, even at this time of the day. I've always liked this bar, cause it's full of people, yet you can be alone if you want. People here are polite, and mind their own business.

My fake-ID is in the glove box. I open the top two buttons of my shirt, and mess my hair a little. I wear my leather jacket, and exit the car. 

"One whiskey. Neat," I mumble to the bar-tender, sitting on a stool. People are laughing around. Everybody looks like, they've been divorced at least once. I bet, I'm the only teenager here. 

"There's one for you," the bar-tender places the drink, and tilts his head towards a girl at far end of the counter. "Thanks mate," I take my glass and go near her. I tap the table with my knuckles, making her look up.

"Hi," I give her a charming smile. She smiles back. Score for Dylan! 

............................

My head is pounding. I stumble into my bedroom, knocking down a lamp when I close the door. I managed to drive back home, slowly and drunk. I didn't want to call anyone for help. My plan to book a hotel room, and show that girl a good time went down the pooper. I couldn't even bring myself to kiss her. 

I go to wash my face, and end up throwing up in the toilet, and waking beside it the next morning.

"I need to talk to you."

I pause pouring milk into the glass, and sit in front of my dad. His grim expression didn't feel good. 

"Are you still drunk?" I shake my head no. I thought, I had managed to creep past my dad last night. Apparently, I'm not a subtle drunk.

"Dylan," my dad sighs. "Did something happen? You came back all alone, looking so miserable. Is it because of your mom?"

"No," I reply. "I'm just... I'm going through a rough time. I still don't know, what it is, or how to figure it out. So, can we please drop it?"

My dad nods. "If you say so. But don't make it a habit, to drink everytime you're sad. Deal with your emotions, instead of drinking them away." I mumble a reply and go hide in my room. It's Sunday, and just 11AM. 

I rub my face, feeling tired and frustrated. Feeling too jumpy, I grab my phone and the tissue box, and lay down on my bed. A good jack off, ought to relieve me. I go online to search porn. This is all because, I've been deprived of actual sex. 

Actual sex...

That's an interesting term.

How do gay people have sex? 

Before I knew it, I'm on a red and pink website, looking at men getting lip service from other men, in showers and offices. I click on a random one, curious to know how exactly, what will happen. I curl my hand around my cock, through the shorts. 

I am about to slip my hand inside my boxers, when my door bangs open. "Fucking hell!" I snap, sitting up in panic, quickly taking my hand out of my shorts. My first thought is I've traumatized my dad forever.

Julian looks at me, then looks at the phone on bed, that had flown out of my hand in surprise. The man in the video, is still moaning in pleasure. Julian calmly walks over, and picks up my phone studying. "This is garbage. I know better sites."

I move across the bed on my knees, and snatch away my phone. "What are you doing here?" I put my phone in my pocket. "I didn't find you home yesterday," he answers. 

"What do you want?" I cross my arms. "What I want?!" he asks in shock. "Dylan, what happened yesterday?" Julian tries to touch my cheek. 

"Julian, no," I lean back. "You said the deal can be over, till one of us had enough. And I, had enough."

"No, you did not. This is you being jealous. Stop being a liar," Julian scowls.

I get off the bed. "You sure have the nerve, to come to my house, and call me a liar," I thunder and grab his collar. "Don't fucking step into my home again. Dad!"

Julian gets out of my hold, looking pissed. "Your dad went out, before letting me in. And stop manhandling me. It's rude," he angrily dusts off his t-shirt.

I laugh hollowly, throwing my head back, "Rude?! That's fucking priceless."

"Dylan would you just acknowledge your feelings?" he says tired. My arms ache to punch his pretty face. He's looking at me, like he has me all figured out. "Fuck off," I open the door of my room.

"Yeah, that's mature. I should leave, so you can go back to watching gay porn, on www.asssmashers.cock," he mocks.

"I'm not gay," I hiss. "I like girls."

"I know, you moron! You are bisexual!" Julian yells. I blink at the sudden revelation. Why didn't I think of that before?

"I... don't like boys. The only guy I got attracted to, was you," I frown. He clenches his jaw at hearing was.

"Maybe you never thought, or tried to let yourself think in that direction... Dylan admit it. You are bi," Julian puts his hands, on his hips.

I still don't know if he's right. I can't say I'm gay or bi, just because I was attracted to one guy. But, I know one thing for sure. And that is, I really, really, don't like Julian right now, nor his exasperated expression. 

"I'm not making any statement now," I reply, as calmly as I could. Julian stomps his foot irritated. "Why the fuck, is my sexuality bothering you so much?" I snap irritated. "It's my own business. Stay out of it!"

"I just wanted to help-"

"Oh shut it, for fuck's sake! There's nothing in this for you. For all you care, after you leave my room, you'll go gallivanting with some other guy. And please, by all means, do go. I am done with our deal, and I'm done with gay stuff. And for your 'help'," I say scornfully. "I don't need it. You can be free from me."

Julian's face is taut with anger. "I never meant help in a wrong, or demeaning way. And why do you think, I want you to accept your sexuality? What do you think, is in it for me? Think again Dylan," he says sharply.

"I don't know. Nor, do I want to know," I smile sweetly. 

"You scared, piece of shit," Julian spat. "You coward! You goddamn, fucking, coward!" 

"Who the hell, do you think you are?" I slam Julian to the door by his throat. He winces, and pushes me off. 

"Is this really what you want?" he snaps back.

"Don't fucking come to my room, and call me coward," I growl, and turn away from him. Julian throws me on the bed, and climbs on me enraged. I start to get up, but he pins my hands above my head with surprising strength. 

Vexed, I toss around, twisting my body, kicking my legs violently. But he clasps them in a dead-lock with his own feet, sitting on my stomach weighing me down.

"Leave me!" I shout. "Leave me! Leave me! Leave me! Get off!" My face is red, as I try to move but Julian only tightens his grip. I can't move, and I'm getting desperate. I scream in his face, and grind my teeth trying to free my arms. Julian only applies counter pressure, and watches me.

"Leave me Julian," my voice breaks, helpless, my resolve melting. "Leave me," I choke out, tired from everything. His eyes soften, and he looks at me sadly.

"I can't," his chin trembles, and he leans down placing his lips on mine. He releases his hold, allowing me to decide whether I want to toss him away, or kiss him back. I look at him, my eyes searching his. He places a hand on my jaw, and gives me a wet kiss, sensually stroking his tongue with mine.

"Fuck," I moan in his mouth, and flip us over, getting on top of him. I fist my hand in the pillows, and kiss him hungrily.

I don't want girls.

I want this boy.

I want Julian. 

Our tongues desperately touch each other. I put my face in his neck, smelling in his cotton candy smell. I kiss the joint of his neck and shoulder. He gasps, telling me that he likes it. I kiss it again, and again, until I'm sucking and biting it into a love mark. 

"Damn, Dylan," Julian whispers. And then I have to kiss him again. He looked so wrecked, hair ruffled, lips swollen, clothes messed up. I want to kill him. I want to just, absolutely kill him, with my bare hands. I take out all my violence, through the connection of our mouths. I press my body down on him, angrily moving my lips against him. Julian pushes me back, with his hand on my chest.

"I've never been kissed like that," he pants, his voice raw with emotions. "What are you doing Dylan?"

I growl and attack his mouth again, wanting to suck the life out of him. "I want to kill you Julian. I want to goddamn, kill you," I say roughly. His eyes flash with excitement and fear. He sits up, never breaking eye contact. He pushes me down on the bed, straddling me. He moves downward, and pulls down my shorts and boxers. 

He slides me into his mouth and sucks hard. I gasp, and cover my eyes with my elbow. When he thrusts me in again, my tip touches the back of his throat. "Ah.. Good boy," I mumble, clutching his hair. He gives me smile, and starts to bob his head up and down my dick.

He sucks the head of my cock, gulping down the juices. "Down your throat monkey," I order. He grins brightly when he hears monkey. His hand squeezes the base of my cock. My lips tip up at the corners. I am dripping from the corner of his mouth. My thumb smears it down his face.

"Oh yeah," I groan in pleasure, when Julian takes me all in. My hands fist in his hair, and my quad muscles tighten. I am clenching my jaw, trying to not let go and start to move my hips. This feels so good.

Julian rolls my balls, cupping them and I loose it completely, when I feel his tongue circling the base. He eases me out and kisses around my hips, down to my thighs. "Don't," I warn lazily. "I'll fuck your mouth again."

He pulls up my shorts, and lays on my chest, kissing my chin. "Don't hate me, Dylan," he whispers in my ear. "I don't," I kiss his cheek. Then his ear. Then his jaw. Julian blushes, and hides his face in my neck. We fall asleep, with Julian snuggling over me, and my hand loosely wrapped around him.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" Julian later asks at the door. I nod, keeping my face stoic.

"The deal's back on, right?" one corner of his mouth lifts up, in a smug move. 

"Nope," I close the door, at his annoyed face.

.....................................

Hope you liked this chapter :)