Chapter song: Happy Being Me - Britton

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Edna was five when she first realised she might not like Shu. It wasn't any specific hatred, it was the first time she met his cousin who was always absent from family dinners and outings. But she didn't like the way his careless smile seemed to pour out of him, the way Zac always adored him, fussing over him whenever he was in town. It was first a drop of jealousy that increased with time when she saw him thrive, have adventures when she was stuck home, and look forward to another boring day at school.

She loathed him for the freedom he had.

When she saw him in the school grounds, sharing the same classes as her, talking among a group of friends like he had known them for years, Edna felt the green monster evoking hideous thoughts in her mind. This was her domain, she was the one supposed to be here, not him. His enrollment to the school felt like an invasion of her privacy, an invasion of her life. She watched as he walked into the common room with the Hazel eyed male clinging to his arm.

She hated that Wakiya was with them, ignoring the rest of the Class A gawking at him from a distance as if he was breaking an unspoken rule. Edna hated the fact that Shu had not only come to the same school as her, but was also stealing her friends. She knew Wakiya had been friends with the rest of the group for a while, but Shu had nothing to do with them. He was an outsider. Why was he acting like he had done nothing but hanging out with them his whole life?

Someone whistles, snapping their fingers in front of her face. Edna blinked, turning to see Ryuji standing with a smug grin. "If looks could kill, that Shu guy would be dead now."

"I wish he would," She countered, leaning against the wall, her hand pressed into the boring grey walls.

"What?" Ryuji shoved his hands deep into his sweatpant pockets. "Drop dead?"

Edna shrugged, "Yeah." Ryuji and her had been getting along since the first day of school. Both of them share the same music taste and the ravenette being tolerable than most of the boys in her class. Except for Wakiya maybe. For some reason, the blond didn't speak much and excused himself from all the class gatherings. It got on her nerves that he didn't seem to have any problem talking to Shu despite they had known each other for what? A week?

"Do you know that Shu guy?"

"He's an old friend," The girl spat out, not wanting to accept the fact they are relatives. "An old friend I don't stand the sight of."

"Interesting." Ryuji was grinning. He was amused by the anger those crystal blue eyes held. Edna was many things, she could be kind and friendly when she wanted to. But Kudos to this Shu guy, it was the first time he had seen her this furious. A sight to behold. Truly. "You want to get back at him?"

Edna raised her head, the idea seemed to have caught her attention. "Maybe. Why? Are you going to help me?"

It was Ryuji's turn to shrug. "If you want to. I mean, nothing personal but that Shu guy does seem to piss me off somehow. And that Wakiya-"

Edna chuckled, "Seems like something personal to me."

"Nothing personal~" He winked, stretching his arms in front of him, nudging her as he walked towards the dining hall where all the others were gathering. "I'll keep my word. He'd be shaking in his boots by tomorrow."

Edna quirked the side of her lip, following him. "He better be. I take you to be a man who keeps your word, Ryuji."

"Always, princess."

---

Shu rested the glass against his dry lips, sensing the comforting chill against his sensitive skin. He was leaning against the counter, perceiving his surroundings when the lights clicked off. The male stilled, wondering whether it was a power failure, a glitch in the power supply, but the steady hum of the refrigerator proved his theories wrong. Did someone turn off the-

His thoughts came to an abrupt stop when footsteps closed in. Several dark silhouettes entering the room one after another. Shu considered screaming but decided against it. From the rules and the security it was quite impossible for someone to sneak in at night. The guards would be there, right?

Despite the reassurance his pulse quickened, heart racing when the voice spoke, quite familiar. "Hello, Kurenai Shu~" The edge of his lips grazed his earlobe. Shu shifted, trying to move.

"Ryuji." Shu placed the glass on the counter behind him without looking. He could feel the steady breath of the other male in front of him. The lights flicked on right at the cue. It was as if they had turned it off in the first place to get on his nerves. Which they were quite successful with. It took him a while to comfort his racing heart.

Ryuji grinned, leaning forward. Each palm pressed firmly on either of his sides on the kitchen countertop. Shu pressed his lips together, scratching through his memory. He didn't do anything to make this guy angry. He was so keen to stay out of his way. Ignore him. So, he had no idea why he was here looking as if he had planned the whole thing in and out.

Besides, how did he know Shu was in the kitchen anyway? It was past midnight. Everyone should be asleep by now. Was it a coincidence? Were they looking for a prey to bully and Shu unknowingly fell into their clutches?

"Nightmares again?" He asked as if it was common knowledge. Shu Kurenai and his bad bad nightmares. But Shu knew it was not common knowledge. These people barely knew him.

Shu narrowed his eyes, suddenly defensive. How much he knew and how- Of course. The albino inwardly sighed. He might've seen it coming. It should be Edna. "That's none of your business," Shu answered, awkwardly pointed at his hands. "So if you could-"

Ryuji shrugged, "Aren't you going to drink that water?"

He was referring to the glass of water, still untouched resting beside him. Shu wasn't thirsty anymore. Even if he was, he was happy to wait till dawn. "That's fine." Shu flicked a glance towards the guys in the back. One of them shuffling through the refrigerator, another idly watching them, picking on his nails.

"Is it though?" Ryuji pressed, impossibly close. Personal place gone away with the wind just like that. Shu couldn't help but notice the greyish colour of his eyes. The colour so deep he might as well be hiding a brewing storm under those silver hues of colour. Shu averted the gaze to the floor, embarrassed. It was the intimidation of these eyes, the immersive quality it held.

Ryuji seemed to be satisfied with his submissive expression. He pushed away and Shu allowed himself to breathe. He tried to make a beeline to the exit when a firm hand on his shoulder stopped him. "Isn't it rude to walk away when we're talking?"

Shu stopped, "What do you want with me?"

The one picking the nails looked up, "Don't know, you tell us. What can you give?"

Shu looked at him, uncertain. The danger of the situation finally sinking in. He was alone with these four guys in the kitchen. And he had no idea what they were capable of. He was not much of a fighter and wrestling four of them down if they decided to come at him would prove impossible. "I'm not sure what you're getting at."

He needed to get out, now.

A hand slipping to his waist. Shu turned sharply, surprised by the sudden action. It wasn't even Ryuji, it was the one standing idly by the door watching if anyone's coming just a few seconds ago. "I just had a hunch, but you're something, you know that?"

What does that even mean? He wasn't good with Japanese slang. Heck, he didn't even know half the words Valt and Honcho used in their chatroom. But Shu had the feeling he was referring to his body, and instantly he knew what was coming. He tried to pull away from the hold.

"His curves, dang it. I don't think any of my girlfriends had this good of a body."

A chorus of whispering laughter. Ryuji slapped the guys back, "First time knowing you had girlfriends, Tatsuo."

Tatsuo huffed, offended. "Shut up, virgin."

"Really though." It was the guy who seemed to be obsessed with his nails. His companion stood munching on some late night snacks beside him. "He does look like a girl, I thought the first day I saw him."

Shu didn't even have the heart to glare. He just stared, exhausted from this bullshit. He knew it, in those moments where he was with a group of friends his age, this had been the topic too many times. He preferred being alone because he didn't have any control over his goddamn body. He couldn't help being the way he was. What the fuck was he supposed to do anyway?

"Did the cat get your tongue?" Ryuji asked, tapping his cheek. Shu drew away from his touch, trying to free himself from the firm grasp of this guy called Tatsuo.

"Get off of me," Shu hissed. Tatsuo grinned, tightened his bruising grip, now on his hips. Shu lurched back, in an attempt to step out of his grasp. Surprised, the taller one let go, sending Shu crashing back to the kitchen counter. A surprise yelp escaped his lips as pain came coursing through his back, knocking the air out of his lungs.

Tatsuo put his hands up in surrender, feigning innocence. "He asked to let go and I did."

Ryuji snickered, "We know, we know. Don't worry about that. That didn't hurt, did it, Shu?"

Shu glared in return, they didn't even seem to bother being silent now. The kitchen was away from the dorms and besides in the small hours of the day, everyone was in deep sleep to care about anyone else anyway.

"I got to say," The nail guy interrupted, "Are you guys even sure he's a guy? I mean all that girl dressing boy shit happens in teledramas and anime."

Ryuji rolled his eyes, "You watch too much anime, Shin. But you do have a point."

A chill ran down his spine. Shu clenched his fingers searching for a way to escape. The situation was not going to escalate into something better, he knew it by heart. But he had little time and little chance.

Ryuji's actions were exaggerated when he stepped towards him, closing the gap between them yet again. Shu's breath hitched, dread settling in his stomach as he resisted his advances, pushing him away. "Don't," He exhaled, his tone mellow and shaky. "Stay away, please."

Ryuji cocked his brow in amused pleasure. "It's just a look, I swear I won't do anything else."

"Sounds fake," Shin whistled from the back, grinning. "But okay."

"Tatsuo."

The larger male reacted to their leader's call, trapping Shu's arms in his tight hold pushing the albino roughly forward. Shu suddenly found himself caught up between Ryuji with that menacing grin and Tatsuo catching his wrists so tight that Shu thought they would snap like twigs.

He hadn't felt this helpless since he saw his parents' faces in those coffins, so peaceful yet fragile, leaving him alone in this darkness we called reality.

Shu tried to make use of his legs, opened his mouth to scream only to find Ryuji's large palm pressing on his face, clamping his mouth shut. "Don't even think about it."

Blood drained off his face. Ryuji's free hand slid down until they were on top of the waistband of his shorts. Fingers teasing over the fringes, brushing his skin in a feather-light touch. Shu struggled against their hold, horrified. He expected something bad, not of this kind. Shin was pacing behind Ryuji, trying to get a better look of Shu's shivering frame, hopeless face.

"Are you guys ready for the ultimate reveal?"

Shu clenched his eyes shut. Ryuji's voice a cruel echo inside the empty kitchen save for his subordinates and him. He felt the fingers slip inside, grazing over his hips. His breath quickened, struggling ceasing to a stop. The situation felt hopeless.

He felt hopeless.

In the next second, the pressure of Ryuji was wrestled out of his body. "The fuck are you doing!?" An angry voice questioned. Shu allowed himself to breathe, feeling Tatsuo's grip slackened against his body.

It was Wakiya, staring at Ryuji with his eyes narrowed towards the male. One of his hands gripping the pyjama collar and the other raised to a fist, hovering in front of Ryuji's face.

Ryuji had the nerve to smile. "Look at it. The knight in shining armour is here to save his damsel in distress. So romantic," He mocked, swatting Wakiya's hands away from his clothes. "The hell do you think I am doing?"

Wakiya stole a glance at Shu, watching with numb focus. "Get out of here this second."

"And what if I don't? C'mon Wakiya, you're better than that. The fuck are you saving that kid for? You don't even know him." Anger was seeping into his tone. Ryuji's nonchalant face turned into venomous fury as he talked, questioning where Wakiya's loyalties lied.

"So what?" The male didn't seem to back down, nor did he seem to mind the crude accusations thrown at him. "Does it matter if I know him or not? You guys were hurting him, humiliating him. I don't need a fucking reason to interevene. Anyone would do it at their position." A pause. "You're disgusting, Ryuji."

The blow seemed to land. Ryuji clenched his fists, "This is none of your business. Get out of my way."

"I don't think this would be your business if I scream right now," Wakiya said," The teacher's quarters are just beside this building, and the security is there. Are you taking the chance, Ryuji?"

"Do you think it would make a difference? My father is the principal at this school."

Oh, Shu thought. He didn't know that part. No wonder Ryuji looked as if owned the place, loitering around bullying students and doing whatever the shit he wanted. It was the illusion of a power he carried being the son of the principal. "But the teachers will come here and the guards, do you want all the ruckus happening in here right now? I know I wouldn't mind." Wakiya was spitting out words and Shu saw the uncertainty creeping into the solid form of the ravenette.

He looked unsure of himself for a second before he regained his composure. "Fucking fine. Today, you'll have it your way. But that's not going to keep happening forever." He stormed out of the kitchen not even waiting for Wakiya's reply nor glancing at Shu as his minions followed him out.

Shu exhaled deeply, slumping back in relief. That was a close call. For the record, he didn't even know why they were coming after him. He didn't do anything to trigger that hatred, not consciously anyway. Besides, the encounter left him defenceless, stripping him off the barriers bringing out the deep insecurities in his mind. Shu wondered whether coming to this school was a mistake.

"Hey." Wakiya placed his hand on his shoulder, snapping him out of the deep trance.

"Ah... yes. Hey." Shu clumsily reached out for his abandoned glass of water, draining it in one go. He wasn't thirsty, he was worried, scared. He ran his tongue down his lips, closing his eyes to compose himself before talking to Wakiya.

"Are you okay?"

Shu nodded, placing the glass beside the sink. "I'm fine. Thank you for that, ...I owe you one." He tried to sound nonchalant but knew his voice sounded more like broken glass. "I didn't know he was the Principal's son."

Wakiya sighed, leaning back against the kitchen counter. The coldness of the black tiles seeping through his t-shirt. "Doesn't mean he can get away with everything, at least I hope so. This school should be better than that."

Shu played with his fingers, unable to look him in the eye. Both of them skirting around what had just occurred. "I'm not going to complain anyway. Not like there's anything I can say."

Wakiya didn't look surprised, rather resigned and disappointed. Not at him, but at the system. The system where students were discouraged from reporting any bullying, humiliation. The system where they had to bear up the insults quietly. Some places were better, but the uncertainty an individual gets from this belittling doesn't allow many to take the stand.

Shu knew he was no better. He didn't want what happened tonight to be public knowledge.

"Do you want to go back to the room?"

Shu shrugged half-heartedly. "Why did you wake up anyway?"

"Just," The blonde answered, gesturing to the tall counter chairs. Shu followed him and slipped onto one of the high seats, the silver glistening under the luminescent lights in the kitchen. "I saw you were missing and thought of looking for you."

Shu gave him a tight-lipped smile, nodding. This person whom he barely knew was looking for him because he was worried, because he cared and then there was Ryuji and his gang, the complete opposite of Wakiya. It was surprising how different humans can be. It never fails to astonish Shu, behavioural patterns. His mom used to say that was because they rarely spent time with crowds. Maybe that was actually the reason.

"And you?" Wakiya asked, resting his elbow on the counter top, fully turning to him.

"Nightmares and stuff," Shu said, wishing Wakiya would not ask to elaborate. He didn't. But Shu continued anyway. Better to get this over with before they start waking up for his screams at night. "Actually, I should've told you guys earlier. I have pretty bad nightmares. So, if I scream at night or something, I'm sorry in advance." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, trying to soften the situation but Wakiya looked clearly worried.

"Don't look so worried. It's silly. I just wanted to warn you, that's all."

Wakiya hesitantly accepted his nonchalant explanation. Shu knew the blonde had questions. Well, everyone did. But he'd rather save them the heart attack of waking up at night for bloody shireks. Maybe he should ask his psychiatrist to increase the dose, just in case. "If you say so."

Shu crossed his arms over the counter, resting his chin on them, staring into the cupboards, the crip clean bowls and whatnot. "You're a good guy, Wakiya. I don't see what Rantarou is fussing about."

Wakiya scoffed, offended. "I was honestly having a good time until you had to bring that fan demon into this conversation."

Shu chuckled, shoulder slumping down with relief. "He's a nice guy too." He watched Wakiya launching himself into a hearty rant about the flaws of Honcho, pointing out the moments where they clashed in the past. Shu relaxed. He knew he would have to face Ryuji again at some point. He'd have to go back to his room and fall back into his restless sleep. He'd have to go on. But right now, he didn't care. He listened to Wakiya, smiling, occasionally joining in. Maybe he deserves a break from all the chaos in his mind too. It wouldn't kill to feel relaxed once in a while after all.