YiJun's POV

Xian is and always has been a handful. Challenging me, arguing with me and questioning me. Always making sure that he is on my mind and in my heart. Always.

Now, wrapped up in a blanket, holding me tight, I watch his eyelids grow heavy with exhaustion. I give him a few minutes, and his eyes close completely. His breathing evens out; he looks like an angel. No, not the kind of angels Heavenly Father had created, but the beautiful cherub-like images humans had depicted in paintings of great repute.

His long dark lashes, a stark contrast to his milky white high cheekbones; his well defined sculpted nose, slightly pressing into the middle of my chest, and his ruby lips luscious lips, all call to me to take; to taste.

Mine.

I look away and thread my fingers through his thick silky hair; he hums. I know he likes it, so I do it again and again. I like it when he appreciates my touches.

My mind commands me to stop and step back; losing myself in his scent is easy and dangerous.

I free myself from his tight grip and gently take him inside the tent. I tuck him in and look around the tiny space. After wrapping one more blanket around him, I exit the tent; I make myself comfortable on the mat.

Closing my eyes, I pretend to sleep and hope my Xian has a dreamless night.

I wish I could fight his demons for him, but alas, I can't.

I wonder if he will ever be able to remember his dreams in detail. I had guessed that when he grows older, he would be able to remember them, but unfortunately, he had started recalling less and less of them as he had grown.

I lose myself in thoughts of Xian's childhood: simpler, purer times, and I realize that I miss them. I miss how we were. I miss our smiles; I even miss his tear-filled tantrums.

Thinking of his tears reminds me of his first day of school. It was the first time I wasn't going to be around him.

At first, he had been excited, but when the bus had come to pick him up, he had wailed and clung to my feet. I remember almost giving in. I remember how I had willed my hands to pull him away from me and guided his tiny frame into the bus.

I remember walking back home and crying harder than he had.

I remember everything. Every single thing. For every moment that has Xian in it, is precious. Every moment that I have locked away in my heart to be treasured when he leaves me to walk his path, is mine. All mine. Not even Heavenly Father can take that away from me.

"Jun... " I hear Xian's voice, and I sit up.

Why is he outside?

Did something happen?

I should have been more alert. There were poisonous snakes in the area, after all. Fearing the worse, I give him a once over; He seems fine, at least physically.

He asks me why I was outside, and I tell him that I liked it there. His brows crease; he either doesn't believe me or he did not like my answer. I feel like I will be reprimanded, but instead, he purses his lips and tells me that he has had a nightmare.

I immediately decide to accompany him inside, but he points out that my clothes are wet. I tell him to go inside and that I will join him after changing.

I pull out a pair of shorts and a white shirt, my only extra pair, from my backpack, and regret my thoughtlessness once again.

I change, enter the tent, and almost bang into Xian. I look around the tiny space but get distracted by the pounding of Xian's heart.

I look over my shoulder and realize that I had left the entry flap open. I rectify my error and move to Xian's side. "Why did you remove your jacket!?" I reprimand, looking for it between the quilts, and he stops me, "I will take up more space that way." He states and pauses, "There will be no space left for you if a bulk myself up with extra layers."

I sigh and once again kick myself for my lack of observation and make him wear the jacket. "I will manage."

"How?" He asks, gesturing at the tent, "The only way we will fit that way is if I sleep on top of you!" He blurts out.

"Well, that's fine by me," I reply, and his eyes widen. His heart starts racing again.

Why is his heart racing?

Is he scared of me?

But why?

I close the gap between us and hold him. "Are you scared that I will raise my hand on you, Xian? Trust me, I wouldn't." I reassure, and his heart slows down, maybe he really was scare of me. It was my fault for scaring him. "A Xian, I am sorry." I whisper looking into his eyes, "It will never happen again. I promise."

He blinks and his eyes move lower.

"Is there something on my face?" I ask and he nods, "Only your mouth, that is attached to your unreasonable mind." He gushes and laughs.

Melodious... Euphonious... Mine.

As I get entranced by the musical sound of his laughter, he leans away from me and shifts the blankets out of the way.

"All done, now lie down here," He instructs, and like a good soldier, I follow what he says. Once I lie down, he asks me to open my arms and makes use of it to pillow his head; he pulls the blanket over us and buries his face in my neck.

I notice that his heart has started racing once again, but I ignore it. I guess it will take him a while to trust me again.

He moves and pulls himself completely on top of me and smirks, "Are you comfortable?"

"Mn." I nod. I expect him to smile but he pouts instead, "Am I not heavy?"

"I am an Archangel, " I remind him, and he drops his chin, "Not fair!" He cribs.

"What's not fair, My Prince?"

"It's not fair that even though I have grown up, nothing's changed."

"How so?" I ask, and he shakes his head looking defeated, "I am still a child to you. Still dependent. Still vulnerable. Still... " He trails off and looks away.

The pout remains though, taunting me; mocking me.

"Xian, it doesn't matter. What's important is that you are growing up well, like your mother would have wanted."

He purses his lips and rubs his nose.

"It's itchy." He states, and leans in.

Close.

Too close.

"Mn?" I ask, as the scent of vanilla hits me at once and clouds my mind.

"It's itchy, Jun." He says, bumping our nose together. And I lose it. I reverse our positions and pin his hands over his head. With my weight pressing down on him, I look at his shocked face.

"Jun, what's wrong?" he asks. He doesn't push me away as I had expected; he should have.

He doesn't even resist. He just looks around, worried.

So open, so beautiful.

He is your charge, my mind tells me.

I ignore it.

He has a girlfriend, my heart reminds me.

I ignore it.

He is Meimei's son, my soul reprimands me.

I ignore it.

Xian's eyes become alert and his heart starts racing. "Is it the demons? Have they found us?" He whispers, and I lie, "Maybe." I don't know why I said that. All I know is that he is under me and he is mine.

His dark abyss like eyes lock on to mine, "Is there a way to get out of this?" He asks, and I nod, "Only if I can hide my aura."

"Sin... " He whispers; his breath fans my face, and I am brought back to reality. A reality where he and I, can never become we.

But I am losing myself in all that is him, and that is a truth as well.

I close my eyes and stop breathing. I take in the feeling of him pressed under me, and then I bring my fingers to his nose, rubbing it for him.

His brows knit, "What are you doing?"

"I thought you wanted me to take care of the itch for you." I remind him, and he pouts.

He should stop doing that. For his safety and my sanity, he should really stop doing that.

"You scared me, Jun!" He whines, and I reverse our positions one again, "Sleep, My Prince."

He grinds his teeth making me smirk, and his heart starts racing again.

Why?

What scared him now?

I wrap my arms around him and put his head over my chest, "It's late." I tell him, and he sighs, before rubbing his nose over my chest and falling asleep once more.

I wait for him to fall asleep and after making sure that he won't wake up, I slowly roll us over and reverse our positions. I know what I am doing is wrong, but in my defense, he hadn't minded me being on top earlier. In any case, I wasn't going to do anything to him. I won't do anything to him without his consent.

Will you consent to having me, Xian?

Will you consent me to have you, Xian?

He stirs in his sleep and murmurs, "Sleep."

My eyes grow heavy; I resist. I don't want to fall asleep. For, I know what my dreams hold. And I don't know if I am strong enough to stop myself from tasting the fruit; to stop myself from falling; to stop myself from claiming what is not, mine.

I know I should move away, but I can't, Xian has wrapped his arms around me. His body is warm. Always so warm. Like he is trying to melt my cold heart; like he is inviting me, wanting me to fall further than I have ever fallen.

I lose myself to the warmth and the heady scent of Vanilla; soon, darkness takes me.

{Note:- That's it for today. My apologies for the delay. But as I mentioned, I am concentrating on The lonely Bridge at the moment (I want to finish it as soon as possible)

Any way, thought there are some who truly do love this story, this fic is hardly popular (but I love it 😭) so not many care if I update it or not.
I will be updating this fic only after two weeks. But once TLB is done, you can expect faster updates
(informing those who care ☹️)

Some of you were asking if YiJun and Xian would get together in this fic, and the answer is a huge YES.

Please Vote to show your support for this update if you have enjoyed it.

Thank you for reading.
Have a nice day.}