I hear feet shuffling in the doorway behind me, I know who it is, I know what he wants.

Don't turn around, you know you don't deserve an apology, not really. It's always your fault anyways.

I want to turn around.

Don't. And besides, you know you can't, not right now, it's too much.

I have to, though.

I know I don't have the energy for this, but I turn around and silently beg myself not to cry. He's not looking at me, in fact, he's looking anywhere but me.

He can't even look at you, doesn't that tell you enough. Just close the door now.

"Eris, I-" his voice cracks and fades as he finally meets my eyes. His eyes are dry, vacant of emotion—mine are glistening, but I'm managing to keep it together.

This is a bad idea and you don't deserve this.

No it's not, I deserve an apology.

"Say it, say you're sorry." I keep my voice flat and cold, forcing everything down. I want to beg him, beg him until he sincerely apologizes and everything can be fine again. But that's a daydream—a fantasy—nothing will be fine.

"I am, Eris I'm so, so sorry..." I'm disgusted by the absence of guilt and regret in his voice, but even more so by the obvious lack of truth. He's straining to form this lie even though he's usually a flawless liar. The least he could do for me is make it sound believable.

See, he's not even actually sorry, why should he be, you don't deserve an apology, you should be the one apologizing, for being useless and worthless and a burden.

No. No he's sincere, he is. Why wouldn't he be, he has to be, right?

You know he isn't.

I plaster a weak smile on my face, it's an ineffective attempt at covering everything on the inside. Covering so much bitter hate, rage. Regret and sadness. Too much conflict.

"Even if you meant that... Sorry can't fix everything this time, Riddle. Please just leave me alone, please," I mutter, closing my door softly as I blink the tears from my eyes. I hate myself for even having tears in my eyes. I can tell he hates me right now too—hates me for calling him by that name he loathes so much, hates me for knowing him well enough to recognize he wasn't genuine, hates me for not accepting the apology.